Being Emerald (13 page)

This wasn’t her home. This space, with its gorgeous furniture and attention to every detail, this lavish luxury, was just a void to her. Since the first day of training, she and Rock spent every night together, and she considered this house the world’s biggest closet, nothing more.

Rock wasn’t trying to teach her to hold. He was punishing her because she’d been busted doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. And, he knew she lied to him about it. The man had a memory like an elephant.

She walked out her back door and sat on the edge of the wood deck. The late day shade of the tall pines shielded her from the setting sun. Shadows danced deeper in the trees and insects chirped their twilight song.

Finally beginning to come down from the day, she noticed the little pains she’d accumulated from training and became achingly aware of the emptiness in the pit of her stomach. She wasn’t complete unless they occupied the same space. That was her new normal. Sitting alone in the beautiful setting, something that, before, would have rejuvenated her, was a punishment she’d have to endure until she could see Rock again.

She shook her head at the potency of her dependence. Any other time she’d had feelings for a man, they were light and bubbly, like ginger ale. What she and Rock had was more intoxicating, like whiskey, warming her in the center of her chest and making her feel a little off kilter. It was different from anything she’d ever felt.

It was better.

But, along with that gift, came an irrational, insecure fear of losing him. How could she live without this man who made her feel whole, whose presence made her body sing?

There, in the dappled late-day shade of her back yard, Laila spent over an hour keenly feeling the difference between a night with Rock and a night without.

Finally, when she couldn’t sit there anymore, she slipped on her flip-flops and grabbed her bag then went out her front door. The slight breeze stirred against her skin. It was a cooler evening than the one before, just perfect for a walk.

Rock’s truck was gone from his driveway. That seemed to make her feel even more irrational.

She didn’t know where she was going until she found herself entering the Emerald Zone Specialty Store by the entrance to the Emerald housing development.

As she walked over the threshold, an old-fashioned bell announced her. The interior of the cozy space smelled wonderful.

She was taken aback at the sight of the inside. Her gaze landed on items she’d never seen in Sapphire or Amber. There was gold and silver jewelry sparkling in a case to her right. A sales woman stood behind the case, her gaze darting to Laila’s Emerald tattoo.

“Hello.”

Laila nodded and smiled in her direction. It was cool in the store, like the building housing her office. If she knew she could have escaped the heat by going shopping, she would have done it more often.

“Would you like a cup of coffee, or perhaps some chocolate?”

Laila whirled around. “I’ve never had either. I’d love to try both, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.” The lady avoided eye contact as she moved from behind the jewelry counter and scurried to a station that held the specialties.

Laila stood for a minute, taking her surroundings until the woman approached with a small cup of black liquid and two small squares of chocolate displayed prettily on the saucer.

“Here you go.” She smiled nervously. Her Sapphire tattoo peeked from the end of her sleeve.

Laila returned her smile. “Thank you.”

“My name’s Rachael. If you’re looking for something particular, I’d be happy to show you what we carry.”

“No, thank you. I’m just taking a look.”

She nodded. “Okay, but we close in twenty minutes.”

The old analog clock on the wall displayed it was close to nine, surprising her.

“Our recent acquisitions are displayed on the large center tables. Those are unusual items we don’t get often. Everything else in the store are pretty much items we carry regularly.”

Laila started to wander, then took a sip of the steaming black liquid in the cup she’d received. Despite the color, she expected coffee to taste delicious. From all the pre-pandemic movies and TV shows, it had been a passion and sometimes an addiction to those who had easy access to it.

That assumption, however, was dead wrong. The stuff was thick and disgusting, with the bitter taste remaining in her mouth even after she’d swallowed.

Rachael must have been watching for her reaction, because seconds later she offered to take the cup. “Most people don’t like it,” she said as Laila handed it off. “You’ll like the chocolate much better.”

“It couldn’t be much worse now, could it?” Laila said, laughing. “Is there anything else equally craptacular I should stay away from?”

Rachael relaxed and let out a soft laugh. “Yes. The fish eggs are an acquired taste.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Laila picked up one of the squares of chocolate on the tiny plate she carried and popped it into her mouth.

“Oh my God.” She looked over her shoulder at Rachael, who had returned to her place at the jewelry case. “You were right. This is fantastic.”

“I know. I can’t even imagine what it tasted like when it was first made.”

Laila popped the other piece into her mouth and set the tiny plate down.

She browsed through everything. There were entire displays of wine, champagne and other exotic alcohols, chocolates, cosmetics, scented soaps, shampoos and sprays. She picked up several bottles, sniffing at the multicolored liquids with exotic names like Moonlight and Soft Cashmere. She recognized Rock’s scent and looked more closely at the bottle she held. Cruel. She hovered her nose over the bottle again. Yes, she was sure it was the liquid soap Rock used when he showered alone.

In the end, she bought a bar of chocolate and the bottle of Cruel. Not for Rock, but for herself.

The moment she arrived home, she trudged up the stairs and into the bathroom, trying to ignore the fact Rock’s truck was still absent from its place in his driveway.

She twisted the knobs in her shower so the spray was lukewarm and lathered herself up, soaking in his scent.

After throwing on a shirt and panties, she descended the stairs and stopped at the bottom. The room was stuffy as hell. She opened some windows, plopped on the couch and turned on the vids. She devoured the entire bar of chocolate in a video induced trance. It was her consolation prize.

Even after she’d fallen asleep on the couch, some part of her brain monitored the night sounds for the return of Rock’s truck. She opened her eyes momentarily when the sound finally woke her. It was almost dawn. She frowned and rolled over before falling back to sleep.

The next morning, Laila wanted to run out to meet Rock when she saw him headed across the street to her house but hung back, relaxing on her couch as if the separation had been no big deal.

He walked in, looking gorgeous, as always.

“Good morning.” His gaze roamed her reclined figure, scanned the room then landed on the wrapper of the chocolate bar she’d eaten the night before.

“I told you to hold.”

She shrugged. “What makes you think I didn’t?”

His arms were crossed over his chest. “Lie.”

She didn’t deny it. She knew she pushed her luck, but was mad at him for leaving her alone all night. He had to know the sudden detox from him would be hard on her.

He walked through the living room and entered the dining room. “You need to work on your focus. I’ve come up with an excellent way to help you with it.”

He grabbed a dining room chair and turned it away from the table. Rock met her gaze, and his eyes broached no argument. “Panties off,” he said as he sat, facing her.

Still wearing the panties and big T-shirt from the night before, she hooked the waistband of the panties and stripped them off.

He patted his lap.

She stepped toward him and turned to sit. Instead, he twirled her around and gripped her nape. “On your belly.”

She tried to push herself up, but he weighted her back with his hand. She didn’t have the leverage she needed and landed with an “Oomph!” as her chest collapsed onto his thighs.

“Good girl.”

“Like you gave me a choice,” she muttered.

“We’re going to do this focus exercise for as long as it takes for you to keep your primary focus on me.”

She jerked at the cool rubbery texture of something poking the entrance of her ass. “Stop!” He removed his hands, and she pushed herself up from his lap “What are you doing?”

The fact he looked shocked she’d stopped him was a good testament to how good she’d learned rule number one.

“I’m putting a plug in your ass.” He’d said the words as if it were a perfectly natural thing to do.

A blush heated her cheeks. Humiliation, was an unfamiliar feeling that took her a moment to identify. This was so much weirder than the tampon removal. She put her panties back on. “I need a minute.” The words barely past her lips, Laila scrambled up the stairs two at a time. Just outside her bedroom door, she looked over her shoulder.

Rock stood at the foot of the stairs.

She turned back, escaping his gaze and closed her bedroom door behind her. Still needing another door between them, she hurried into her master bathroom, and locked that door. She threw a folded towel over the cold toilet lid and sat, brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

During the past six weeks, she’d lost herself and any dignity she’d ever had. Somewhere in the back of her head, she’d thought maybe he would be attracted to her if he saw qualities he liked. Maybe, if she ran farther, fought harder and submitted to his bizarre training practices she’d make up for her mediocrity. She didn’t know when, exactly, that thought process had started. Almost from the beginning, she’d let him do anything he wished in the name of training, hoping he’d like what he saw, and maybe, someday, have feelings for her, as she did for him. She’d died a thousand little deaths from all the indifference he’d displayed when given the opportunity to fuck her.

Why did she continue to let him do these intense things to her? She didn’t have to think too hard for the answer. She loved him…and the thrill. Their fireworks packed an exhilarating wallop. Add some slightly deviant behavior to the mix and she flew.

Nothing felt better than his happiness, and it surged during his kinky little games and pleasure/pain punishments. In turn, his bolstered hers, giving her happiness squared. She was addicted to happiness squared. She would do anything for happiness squared, and that included everything his twisted mind could think up. She wanted to give back, fulfill his needs, like he did for her.

“Shit,” she whispered into the total silence of the room. Where was her line? She didn’t have one when it came to him. Especially when it seemed as if he loved her most when she gave everything up for him to control.

Hiding there in her bathroom, she forced herself to face what she’d become, acknowledging she would do anything for this man.

She deflated and shook her head, staying there in the silence for a long time, mulling over their interactions. He was his own contradiction. Sweet and cruel. Demanding and giving. Closed off and yet willing to be an open book to her.

She couldn’t imagine not continuing this life they’d crafted together. She was already tangled in these unorthodox bonds with him. Questioning what she was doing at this late date seemed comparable to looking both ways after stepping into the road. It was just too late. She sighed, relaxing a bit. And, that was okay.

She focused on the door. She expected him to come find her. To burst through and tell her to suck it up and get ready for training, but he didn’t.

She wanted him to. God, she wanted him to, but his absence was also a lesson. There were some decisions she had to make for herself.

When she finally left the bathroom, it was with a new understanding of what she’d do to keep the man she loved. She rounded the corner at the bottom of the steps and found him sitting in the same chair. That magnificent, scary man met her gaze and smiled at her. He saved most of the disagreeable beast for others. For her, he was mostly a gentle giant.

“I worry that I’m too much for you.” His deep, rich voice resonated through the room and raised goose bumps on her arms.

“You’re not.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’d be too much for any normal woman.”

She walked over, sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Rock, I love you just the way you are.”

His beautiful brown eyes softened. “I know what I ask of you is hard.” He shrugged. “I want what I want, and I don’t like to argue about it. It doesn’t mean I love you less, respect you less. What you see is what you get. No games. When I’m angry, you’ll know it. I get my pound of flesh and it’s over. When I want to spank your ass, or fuck it. I do that, too. I need to be in control. But, you have to know, you have the ultimate power. You can walk away any time you want. And I wouldn’t blame you a bit. We’ll call it a short, beautifully intense and”—he smiled—“quite sweet affair, if you want to.”

He was offering her a way out. She didn’t want out. “No, baby. You’re not getting off that easy. I plan on being a thorn in your side for quite some time to come. I love you, Rock. And, I’m beginning to understand you. But you have to understand too. Mostly, I love the unconventional aspects of our relationship. Sometimes I don’t.”

“Okay, but you have to admit that occasionally what you don’t like still excites on other levels. How do you know if you don’t try? Look how much you’ve come to enjoy your spankings.” He pointed at her. “Don’t deny it.” She held her hands up. “Not denying, but when I say stop, you stop.”

His expression turned serious. “Always have.” He held up the butt plug and lube bottle. “Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Trust me,” he said and gave her a quick kiss.

Laila bent over Rock’s lap and dropped her hands to the wood floor. He pressed the cool, slippery toy in her anus, slowly nudging in and back with slight, gentle moves. It graduated in size as he continued to push, stretching her rear farther with each back and forth movement. She wanted to cry out, her lips parting and the yell a heartbeat away from being released, when the ring of muscles in her ass found a comfortable resting place at the base of the plug.