Believe Like a Child (39 page)
A
lessa called Ebby that evening to tell her what was going on. Ebby had warned her that drug addicts could be very unpredictable and that she should be careful around Sara. In the meantime, she assured Alessa that she would work on getting Sara into one of the county rehabilitation clinics.
The next morning, when Lucy woke up and stumbled to the bathroom, still groggy with sleep, to wash her face and hands, she saw a small bag containing some white residue, along with a syringe, lying in the sink. Startled, she jumped back and ran to find Alessa. Hearing a commotion in the kitchen, she stepped up her pace and crossed the hallway in a few strides.
Alessa, Remo and Sara were in the kitchen together. Sara was completely naked and Alessa was holding her by the arm as she tried to break free and lunge toward Remo.
“Come on, man!” Sara kept saying. “You can’t find a ten-dollar blow job as good as me out there! Come on, man! You can even fuck me!”
Shocked and disgusted by the sight, Lucy lost her temper. Without a moment’s hesitation, she stepped in front of Sara and screamed, “Sara, stop it! You’re acting like a whore! You can’t act like this in our house. Either stop it or get the fuck out!”
Lucy’s intervention startled Sara, but it probably surprised Alessa and Remo still more. Sara seemed to sober up for a moment, as she looked down at this eleven-year-old who had just called her a whore. Then she collapsed on the kitchen floor and lay there, exhausted. As Alessa sat holding her, Lucy quickly snatched up a blanket from the sofa and covered Sara with it. When they finally got her settled, she confessed that she’d found a little dope in a bag she had forgotten was with her and had figured she’d do it up. Sara was still out of it, but something about the things Lucy had said to her had brought her just a little closer to reality.
Ebby called later that morning to tell them that she had been successful in placing Sara in a rehab center. They could take her over any time that morning. Alessa explained what had just transpired, but as the effect of the drugs eventually wore off, Sara agreed to go. Alessa reflected that like her, Sara was twenty-one years old. Yet, their lives were so different now. She sent up a silent prayer to God, thanking him for having given her the chance to prove that she was a good and decent human being.
Early that afternoon, Remo and Alessa drove Sara down to the rehabilitation clinic. At her insistence, they stayed by her through the admission process. When asked, she readily agreed to give blood samples to test for STDs, including HIV and other venereal diseases she might have contracted on the streets. Sara admitted to having unprotected sex with men and women in the last eight months, when she had to turn to prostitution to make money. As Alessa heard her describe her drug habits and her experiences with prostitution to the psychologist assigned to her, she shared Sara’s pain and regret. She knew that the psychologist was more interested in understanding if Sara was a risk to herself or to others in the clinic. It was something she had learned in school, an important aspect of her work when she dealt with any type of addiction.
It took over two hours to complete the admission procedures. By that time, Sara was far more sober than they had seen her since she arrived at their doorstep. She fully recognized Alessa now and grew frantic as the time for them to leave arrived.
“I totally fucked up my life, Alessa,” she said. “Please don’t hate me!”
Alessa held her tight. “I could never hate you, Sara,” she soothed her. “I want to see you get better, though. By the way, this is my husband, Remo.”
Sara looked at him, suspecting she might have said some pretty awful things to him in her drug-induced stupor, and felt her face flush with embarrassment.
“Nice to meet you, Remo,” she said shamefully. “I’m truly sorry for anything I might have said or done.”
Remo patted her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything,” he reassured her. “Just focus on getting yourself better. Okay?”
As they drove back to the Outside Inn, Alessa told Remo how easily that could have been her, and not Sara. She reminded him about the time Sara had helped her by taking her along to the group of homeless kids. Remo knew her well enough to understand that she didn’t want him to despise Sara.
“Look,” he said, “it’s not like I haven’t seen people on drugs before. We will visit her later and see what, if anything, we can do to help her through this.”
Alessa relaxed in the seat next to him. “Some honeymoon, huh, Remo?”
He shrugged. “Well, at least we can say it wasn’t boring. We still have three more days left anyway, so how about if we just enjoy the rest of our time together?’
Alessa leaned back into the car seat. “Sounds like a plan.”
R
emo and Alessa’s next three days were filled with hanging out, drinking wine and enjoying each other’s company. Lucy spent the last two days with them and they closed the weekend with a steak dinner. Remo fired up the barbeque grill and they splurged on filet mignon bought from a local butcher. They hadn’t seen Sara since she entered rehab. The staff there informed them that she wouldn’t be able to see anyone until she was fully detoxed, a process which could take five to seven days.
On Monday morning, while Alessa was reading a book in preparation for a class that would start that afternoon, the phone rang. It was the clinic telling her that Sara had come through the detox just fine. She had asked a nurse at the rehab to call Alessa and let her know she was getting better. She had also requested a visit from her. Alessa thanked them, showered and headed over to the clinic for a short visit before her class. Sara looked more herself now, the way Alessa remembered her, but she could see she was tired. Alessa knew she had been through a lot. Sara told her she would have to stay in bed for the next couple of days until she was eating normally and had regained some of her strength.
During the visit, a doctor came in to check on Sara.
“We got the results of your blood tests,” he announced, then looked pointedly at Alessa.
“It’s fine,” Sara reassured him. “You can tell me in front of her.”
“You’ve been very lucky, Sara,” he continued. “You tested negative for HIV. However, you do have syphilis.”
Sara looked confused. “So what does that mean?” she asked. “Can you give me something for it?”
The doctor explained it was a very common form of STD and he would start her on a course of antibiotics.
“Could I die from syphilis?” she asked with panic in her voice.
The doctor assured her she could not, but reminded her how lucky she was to have been spared something worse.
When he left, Alessa said, “You have a new start, Sara. You’ve been given another chance. Make the most of it, girl.”
Sara dropped her head back on the pillow. “Alessa,” she said, “I can’t even tell you what I’ve done in the last eight months. I was stoned all the time. I don’t know how, but thank God I stumbled on you. I probably would have died, if I hadn’t.”
Alessa stayed for a bit longer. When she got up to leave, Sara was overwhelmed with insecurity at the thought of being alone. “Will you come back?” she asked, the desperation evident in her voice.
“Of course I’m coming back,” Alessa reassured her. “I have classes tomorrow morning, but I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon.”
Sara was suddenly alert. “You go to school now?” she asked incredulously.
Alessa laughed. “Yeah, I want to be a psychologist.”
Sara sat up in bed. “That’s so fucking cool!” she said softly. “You really made it. You’re so lucky, Alessa. That’s so fucking cool!”
Alessa looked away, feeling as though she had been far too lucky, while her friend had been far too unlucky, “Yeah. You’ll make it too,” she said gently.
Alessa made her way to school, remembering the desperation with which she had once wanted to change her life and wishing she could help Sara to turn her own life around. She thought about all the questions she’d once asked of herself: How would it happen? Could it even happen? Was she destined for a life where she would always want more? Oh yes, Alessa remembered the feeling well.
She didn’t know what would be the right answer for Sara. Alessa, herself, had just kept moving forward with her life and, with some luck along the way, she had made it through. She had met people who, in one way or another, had helped her to pull herself out of the nightmare that had been her life.
That night at dinner, Alessa talked to Ebby about Sara. Ebby explained that she could probably get Sara into a halfway house after she had successfully completed rehab. Alessa was comforted by the thought that Sara would have a place to start her life over, once she got released.
With things settled, she stopped worrying about Sara and began to think about Christmas, which was fast approaching.
B
y Christmastime, all the residents of the Outside Inn were in a state of feverish excitement. A local tree vendor had donated a Christmas tree to the house. It was set up in the foyer to enable all the residents to enjoy it. It was a magical time for all of them and Alessa savored the spirit of the holiday season. She wished people could be as kind all year long. The people on the streets seemed happier, laughed a little louder and made friendly eye contact with those who passed them. Alessa wondered what made people so different during the holidays. Maybe it was renewed hope, the promise of new beginnings?
During dinner with Remo and Lucy, she shared this observation about people changing for the better during the holidays.
“I think at Christmastime, people reminisce about their childhood and recall that feeling about anything being possible,” Remo remarked. “Families are together a lot during the holidays and there is good food to enjoy. I guess it’s all about feeling connected again.”
Lucy added her two cents’ worth. “I think it’s because there are parties and everyone gets presents, but mostly, because we get to be with other people. Remember the first year, Alessa, when we didn’t have anywhere to go and just stayed with each other? It was nice, but it made me feel sad too.”
Alessa frowned, remembering how dejected she had felt back then. “You know, Lucy, I think you’re right,” she agreed. “Both you and Remo are right. It’s all about being with other people and feeling like you belong.”
The three of them would be spending Christmas Eve with Ebby and heading for Remo’s parents’ place on Christmas day. Alessa and Remo had bought modest gifts for each other and spent most of their Christmas savings on Lucy. Remo’s father had given him 200 dollars to buy Lucy some extra things that she wanted. Not that the child really wanted much. Still, the couple had a great time spending the money to buy her things they thought she’d like.
Christmas Eve at Ebby’s was just wonderful. The fire was roaring in the fireplace and Ebby had invited some of the staff from the Eliza Shirley Shelter where she worked. Alessa hadn’t seen them in a long time and it was nice to catch up. They all knew of Alessa’s progress.
“You’re all Ebby ever talks about,” one of the women told her.
On Christmas afternoon, the three of them drove out to see Remo’s parents. Patrick and Hannah were hosting a much more formal party. Alessa grew nervous as dusk descended and they approached the house. Remo could feel her tension and started singing “Jingle Bells” in an attempt to lift her spirits and lighten her mood.
Alessa looked over at him. “I don’t know what it is, but every time I’m going to see your mom, especially when I know her friends will be there, it makes my asshole pucker.”
Remo burst out laughing at her choice of words. “Now
that’s
a ladylike thing to say!” he teased.
Having heard every word, Lucy was giggling in the backseat. Before they knew it, all three of them were laughing, as they pulled into the long driveway.
The exterior of the house had been beautifully decorated with small white lights strung up perfectly around the trees and the bushes. An enormous wreath twinkled with lights in their front window. A smaller one, identical to the other, had been fixed on the front door. The doorway and windows had been trimmed with holly and fern. The place looked like a winter wonderland. The classic style in which the house had been decorated told Alessa that it was all Hannah’s work. The interiors were more magnificent still. There was a large Christmas tree all lit up in the study. The ornaments had been tastefully arranged on it and Alessa wondered how Remo’s mother could be so creative for her parties and yet so close-minded, when it came to her daughter-in-law.