Bella (3 page)

  Simon
didn
’
t show his face over
the next few weeks and shut himself in his room. Lizzie stayed out with friends
and I hardly ever saw her. Father was rarely home and buried himself in his
work. Life just seemed to pass on by like this. 

One year
later, things slowly started to return to normal. I still missed mother very
much and would often cry myself to sleep. However, she would have wanted us to
remember the happy times and keep smiling.

 Normally,
father had always been home at seven for his supper; yet after mother passed
away he didn
’
t arrive home until
gone midnight. Then, one night when he did arrive home slightly earlier than
usual, he was talking to someone; I could hear a woman
’
s voice. I put my hands over my ears not wanting
to hear anymore.

   The
next morning over breakfast, we all sat in silence. I looked at my brother and
sister and wondered if they
’
d also heard father
talking to a woman.

   We
all left the house at more or less the same time every morning. Our school was
twenty minutes away and the bus always waited at the top of our street; father
paid for us to go to a private school. We arrived home at five, Lizzie would
often go to Ben
’
s house and Simon
would go straight to his room to play his guitar. We were like passing ships in
the night and I craved to have my family back.

Would
we ever be happy again?

CHAPTER TWO

T
hree years after mother passed away, things hadn
’
t  really changed very much.

Father
was hardly ever home; the house that was once filled with love and laughter was
replaced by silence. It felt empty and I didn
’
t feel comfortable there anymore. Whenever I
could I
’
d go for a long walk
along the cliff top, or on the beach. At least there I could watch people and
hear some signs of life. When I was home I
’
d sit alone in my bedroom reading.

One
afternoon, I caught my reflection in my bedroom mirror and looked at myself; my
long blonde hair was thick and wavy; and my body was really starting to take
the shape of a woman. Simon was sixteen and a handsome young man. If you put
Lizzie, Simon, and I in a line, no one would have guessed we were siblings.

  
Two days later, I was sitting alone at the
kitchen table doing my homework, when father returned home from work much
earlier than usual. I knew he had something on his mind. He called Simon and
Lizzie down from their rooms and gathered us all around the table; unexpectedly
he announced that he was getting married. We were stunned, how could this be.

  
“
Her name
’
s Tammy; I have been dating her for some time.
”
He said rather sheepishly. I nervously cleared
my throat wanting to tell Simon and Lizzie that he must have been seeing Tammy
whilst mother was lying on her deathbed. Father glanced my way;
did he know
I
’
d been
listening to him that night before mother passed away?

Tammy
had never come to our family home when we were awake; father had always sneaked
her in after midnight, hoping we wouldn
’
t hear.

   A few
days after, father told us that Tammy was coming later that evening, and for us
to be on our best behaviour.

When she
arrived I noticed she was the complete opposite of mother; tall, slim with long
dark hair and brown eyes. She had rather a long nose, but was very beautiful
and incredibly polite. She seemed really interested in our lives and asked us
what we wanted to do when we left school. Simon decided to show off and play
his guitar. Tammy clapped after every piece of music and father stood there
looking very proud. Lizzie wouldn
’
t even stay in the same room as Tammy; I had a feeling they
weren
’
t going to get on.

   Over
the next few weeks, she was at our home more and more and I liked it. The house
actually started to feel normal again.

  
Father and Tammy were busy planning their wedding, and Simon was about to start
college. Lizzie was now in full time
beauty school learning to be a beautician and I
still wasn
’
t sure what I wanted
to do.

   One
day Tammy asked Lizzie and I if we wanted to go and help her choose a wedding
dress. Lizzie didn
’
t look pleased and
snapped.

  
“
You
’
ll
never
replace mother! So don
’
t even try.
”
And she stormed out of the room. Tammy looked
at me awkwardly.

  
“
Don
’
t worry.
”
I said reassuringly;
“
Lizzie
’
s always been like that.
”

I wanted
to make an effort and get on with Tammy, she wasn
’
t our mother, but at least we could be friends
and it was so nice to finally see father smiling and once again our house was
filled with happiness.

   Three
weeks later I went with Tammy to choose her wedding dress. After hours of
walking round the bridal shops we decided to stop off for a coffee. We sat down
and she started telling me she
’
d been married before
and had a son called Ben; but had left them both many years ago. I listened
trying not to pass judgement. Nevertheless, I couldn
’
t help wondering how she could have left her
son, especially when he was only two years old. Tammy continued to tell me
she`d moved away after deep depression to a small country village called
Sleights, which was only a thirty minutes
’
drive away from where we lived. I asked her if
she`d seen her son since.

   
“
No. He
’
ll be eighteen now.
”
She said sadly. There were tears in her eyes
and I could see the pain she was feeling,

  
“
Why don
’
t you try and contact him?
” 
I asked.

  
“
I
’
ve wanted to so much, but I am scared he
’
ll reject me.
”

  
“
You
’
ll never know unless you try.
”
I replied.
”

  
“
Maybe I will.
”
She said sounding more hopeful.

   Tammy
and father
’
s wedding was only a
week away. Lizzie was being stubborn and told me she wasn
’
t going to attend the wedding.

   One
afternoon Tammy and I were sitting at the kitchen table drinking our coffee
when she suddenly cleared her throat and announced.

  
“
I
’
ve written a letter to Ben explaining everything. I
’
ve also invited him to the wedding, but I don
’
t think he
’
ll come.Why should he after all this time. If he
doesn
’
t want to see me,
well, at least I have tried.
”

   The
morning of the wedding arrived, the birds were singing and the weather was
glorious, there wasn
’
t a cloud in sight.
Surprisingly, Lizzie offered to do Tammy
’
s makeup, Tammy was delighted. Lizzie put her
nose in the air and said,

  
“
I don
’
t like you, but today I
’
ll make an effort for father
’
s sake.
”
I looked at Lizzie with raised eyebrows.

  
“
Does that mean you are coming to the wedding?
”

  
“
Yes I suppose it does, I have nothing better to
do. Ben has a prior engagement and there is something he is keeping from me. He
has been rather distant and pre-occupied over the past few days.
”

   Tammy
looked stunning in her wedding dress; it was ivory silk with a sweetheart
neckline; the fitted bodice was covered in tiny pearls and fitted perfectly
into her slender waist, on her head she wore a finely crafted tiara and a small
veil neatly placed on the back of her hair. She looked like a princess.

   Simon
and father were staying at a hotel nearby, and we girls were all together in
our family home.

The cars
arrived to take us to the church. Because I was the only bridesmaid, I had to
leave first.  Tammy looked at Lizzie.
“
It isn
’
t too late to change your mind; I
’
ve another bridesmaid
dress in
case
you want to reconsider? I am sure your sister would feel
better
not being the only one.
”
Lizzie didn
’
t reply, she just took the dress from Tammy and
put it on.

On the
way to the church I couldn
’
t understand why I
felt so nervous.

   
“
Why am I feeling so nervous? I
’
m not the one getting married.
”
  I said. Lizzie just laughed.

   The
church and venue were set back in acres of ground. We waited outside for Simon
and father to arrive. We seemed to have been waiting ages, when finally their
car pulled up; however, father wasn
’
t in it. When Simon stepped out, his face was ashen and he
didn
’
t even have his suit
on and his eyes looked red from crying. He looked terrible. I could see that
something was terribly wrong.

  
“
Father
……
please not father?
”
I cried.

Simon
couldn`t get his words out.

  
“
Fa, fa, father
was getting ready; and he
’
d been complaining all morning of indigestion.
” 
Simon let out a sob,

  
“
I told him not to ignore chest pains, but you
know what he
’
s like. He was
getting ready and he seemed to be taking ages; so I went to see what was taking
so long.
”
Simon let out a deep
sigh;
“
He was laid on the
bathroom floor; I felt for a pulse, it was very faint. I called the paramedics,
but by the time they arrived; it was too late.
”

I couldn
’
t believe it. Now both our parents were dead. It
just wasn
’
t fair.

  
“
Tammy!
Someone must tell Tammy!
”
I screamed. I couldn
’
t let her turn up at the church and hear this
dreadful news.
 
For once Lizzie
was being supportive and offered to help me tell her. Lizzie pointed to the
church gates,

  
“
Ben
’
s turned up! That`s strange. I didn
’
t tell him I was going to a wedding.
”
  I looked over and saw Ben standing by the
church gates; Lizzie walked over to him and asked him how he knew she would be
at the church.

Ben
looked at her,

  
“
Not everything is about
you
Lizzie!
”
He said.
“
I am here to meet my mother for the first time,
who, as it turns out is about to marry your father.
”

Both
Lizzie and I were quite shocked to find out that it was Ben that was Tammy`s
son, but we knew that then, wasn
’
t the time to talk about it. We started telling him the
dreadful news when Tammy
’
s car pulled up.