Bella (4 page)

  
“
Has anyone told her what
’
s happened?
”
Ben asked.

  
“
We were about to, when you turned up.
”
Lizzie answered.

We told
Ben to stay put so we could go and break the news to Tammy. She noticed
something was wrong.

  
“
What are all the tears and long faces for?
”
She looked worried and confused. She stood
there as we explained the terrible news. She suddenly let out a scream.

   
“
No
!
Please God
no
.
”

   
“
I found father collapsed on the bathroom floor.
I tried to help but there was nothing I could do.
”
Simon cried.

Tammy
looked at us with empty eyes.  

  
“
Now I have to arrange a funeral for the man I
thought I was going to marry. How can I do that?
”
she sobbed and broke into tears. Ben was
waiting nervously at the gates. I went over to him.

   
“
Is that my mother?
”
  He asked.

   
“
Yes; we
’
ve just told her the news about father.
”
I replied. He looked nervously at Tammy, who
looked heartbroken.

  
“
Do you want me to come home with you?
”
He asked.

  
“
No, this isn`t the right time, especially after
what
’
s

happened.
”
I told him.

Ben
stayed by the gates and watched us walk into the church to explain the
situation to the vicar,who was patiently waiting inside to perform the
ceremony.

  
“
He was so happy this morning, it was the first
time I
’
d seen him look this
happy and proud in a long time.
”
Simon lamented.

The
vicar sat down, offered Tammy a brandy, and held her hand.

  
“
I`m so sorry for your loss, may he be at peace
in God`s hands.
”
He sympathised.

When we
left the church Ben was still waiting nervously. I looked at Tammy and said
gently.

  
“
Maybe this isn
’
t the right time to tell you, but your son is
here.
”

I was
surprised they hadn
’
t already met at
home, but somehow their paths had never crossed.

My
father
’
s death and the shock
of seeing her son for the first time in many years was too much for her to take
and she passed out with grief. The vicar told us to take her home and let her
get some rest.

   Over
the next few days, with organising father
’
s funeral, and looking after Tammy, I didn
’
t know whether I was coming or going and felt
completely drained.

Tammy
didn
’
t speak for a few days
after father passed away, I suppose it was her way of coping. Simon, Lizzie and
I didn
’
t really have time to
grieve ourselves.

   When
Tammy finally did speak again, she told us how proud she was of us all and that
father would have been proud too, with the way were all coping and taking
control.

Inside I
wasn
’
t coping at all; I
was a mess. I wanted to scream at the top of my voice.

   The
day of the funeral arrived and I couldn
’
t speak for tears. It was awful, even the
weather seemed to be miserable. It rained all day, with thunder and lightning
and made everything seem even worse. We said our last goodbyes and threw a rose
on to the coffin as we watched it disappear into the ground.

   After
Tammy grieved for a while, she decided it was time to meet her son. She waited
in father
’
s office. Ben was
going to meet his mother for the first time in a long time.

She
smiled for the first time since father death, as Ben approached the office. We
waited and watched nervously. Tammy took Ben
’
s hand. I just hoped and prayed that he would
forgive his mother for what she had done.

After
hearing Tammy
’
s story as to why she
left, Ben forgave her.

A few
weeks before father and Tammy were supposed to get married; father changed his
will and specified that if anything were to happen to him, Tammy would get the
house on the condition that we were allowed to stay there until we were ready
to move out.

   Tammy
took on the family role of being a mother to us. Ben stayed more at our home
than at his own.

Simon
decided that it was about time to clean out father
’
s office, it wasn
’
t a job I fancied doing alone, so we decided to
do it together.

   When
Lizzie found out that Ben was Tammy
’
s son, she felt it was no longer appropriate to carry on
dating him, so after a few months, started dating a trainee doctor.

  
Because Ben was more involved with our family, I started to notice things that
reminded me of father; his rugged looks, his dark curly hair and velvet brown
eyes. The resemblance was quite uncanny.

   One
day we were looking through father
’
s things in the office, when Tammy came into father
’
s office looking somewhat worried. She
frantically started looking through his papers as if she was looking for
something and muttering under her breath.

  
“
Why didn
’
t your father keep everything in the right
order?
”
  She snapped. Simon
looked confused, and then turned to Tammy,

  
“
Are you looking for father
’
s keys to the safe?
”
he asked.

  
“
Yes but I can
’
t find them. I think it is about time you all
knew your father`s secret, you
’
re old enough now to
hear what I
’
m about to tell you.
”

  
Father
had a secret?
 
What possibly could she have to tell us?
Tammy sat
back in father
’
s chair.

   
“
Simon please go and fetch Lizzie and Ben.
”
She demanded.

I sat
and looked out of father
’
s window nervously;
while I waited for Lizzie and Ben. I started biting my nails. I could hear
Lizzie moaning that she was too busy and why couldn
’
t it wait until later. Lizzie and Ben walked
into the office. Ben sat down opposite his mother and folded his arms and Lizzie
stood by the doorway. Simon came over to the window and stood by my side.

   Tammy
cleared her throat nervously.

  
“
I
’
m about to tell you all something very important.
”
She then turned to Ben, took his hand and said,

  
“
The man you
’
ve called father all these years, is not your
biological father.
”
Ben looked stunned.
Tears welled up in his eyes, and he asked,

   
“
Who
is
my father?
”
  Tammy sighed.

     
“
I think it`s better if I start from the
beginning.
”
She looked at me and
Simon.
“
I was with your
father many years
ago, we dated for a few years, but things didn
’
t really work out between us. Then Ted met
Sarah. I was heartbroken because I still loved him.  I left town and discovered
I was pregnant with you.  After a few months I met the man you now call father.
I told him I was pregnant and he decided to bring you up as his own. He
’
d always wanted children but had been told a few
years earlier that he would never be able to have any, so he thought it was the
best thing that could have happened to him.
”

I still
don
’
t think the penny had
dropped with Ben, because he asked for a second time.

  
“
Then who is my father?
”
Tammy looked at me for help. I looked at Ben
and gently said.

  
“
Looks like you
’
re our half-brother
”
. It was then that I understood why Ben reminded
me so much of father.

Ben
’
s face looked red and angry.

Tammy
sighed and continued.

   
“
I need the key to read an important letter that
’
s in your father
’
s safe. He wanted to wait for you all to be old
enough to understand, so he thought it was better to write what he had to say
in a letter.
”

  
“
The keys are usually left in his draw.
”
Simon replied.

Tammy
anxiously started looking for father
’
s keys once again but couldn
’
t find them.

As
Lizzie was about to leave the room she turned to Tammy; her face full of anger,
and screamed.

  
“
I could
’
ve married my half-brother.
”
I started to feel worried and confused.
What other secrets had my family been keeping all these
years, was it anything to do with the whispering I used to hear late at night.

Simon
snapped at Lizzie.

  
“
Shut up and sit down.
”
Then turned to Tammy.

  
“
Well, you
’
d better tell us the whole story then?
”

  
“
It`s better we find the letter your father wrote
to you all first.
”
She replied.

We all
began searching for father`s keys; I ran upstairs and looked in his room. I
remembered he used to put important things in his bedside draw, in a locked
box.

As I
opened the wardrobe doors, the smell of my mother
’
s perfume filled the air. Her favourite was
lavender water. I picked up one of father
’
s jumpers; I could still smell his aftershave.
At times like this, I wished my parents were still here. I could still hear
mother
’
s voice telling me
not to worry, that everything would be alright.

    
Tears stinging my eyes, I laid on mother
’
s side of the bed sobbing. Simon came in and sat
down.

  
“
Don
’
t cry Bella my love!
Please
don
’
t cry.
”
he said as he wiped away my tears and kissed me softly on
my cheek.
“
No
matter what news we are going to hear I will
help you get through it.
”
He said lovingly.

CHAPTER THREE

W
e didn
’
t find the keys we were looking for. All we could do was
try and get on with our lives. Simon was always busy at college and when he was
home, he spent most of the time in his bedroom. I wanted to be a psychologist
but found it difficult to concentrate on my work at college.
Lizzie moved out and got an apartment with her latest
boyfriend James. I lost count of how many boyfriends she
’
d had; she often teased me that I would end up
an old maid. The truth is, I had never once kissed a boy, or even fancied any.