Belonging (9 page)

“Perhaps not. But I would do anything for her.” There was no
perhaps
about it. Damian would have been dead in seconds.

He watched Rom leave without another word, but couldn’t shake the air of melancholy he’d felt from his friend.

Huh?
Who would have thought?

C
hapter
14

Analise

She hid just outside the living room, straining to hear. She could only pick up a word here or there, but Ms. Fuergusen being here wasn’t good. She didn’t know what Ms. Fuergusen did exactly, but whenever she showed up, Analise was taken away. To another home. To another family that didn’t seem to want her. To someone who might hurt her.

This family had wanted her; at least she’d thought they did. This was her sixth foster home in ten years and she’d been here for two. The longest time she’d ever been with a single family. She was finally beginning to relax, to let them in. To love them.

And then Jana, her foster mom, got sick. Analise was still reeling from her death just a few short weeks ago. She’d loved her. Jana was nice. She’d let her watch cartoons and help set the table. She’d taught her how to husk sweet corn and make rhubarb crisp. She didn’t like rhubarb crisp, but she liked helping. She had a school backpack for the first time in her life. Disney princesses. And she had a room of her very own. It was painted cotton candy pink. Her bedspread had Disney princesses all over it. She loved pink. Jana read to her every night and helped her practice reading and math. Analise didn’t like math, but Jana said it was important to learn it.

Jack, Jana’s husband, was nice too, but not as nice as Jana. At least he didn’t hurt her like some of the others. He hadn’t paid her much attention since Jana died, but that was okay. She was used to taking care of herself. She would take care of him instead.

The click of heels echoed on the linoleum floor, heading in her direction. She scrambled to her bedroom and hid in the closet. She knew something bad was coming, and if she could hide, maybe they’d just go away and forget about her. And she could stay here. They told her they were a family. She’d take care of Jack. He wouldn’t have to do anything for her. She would be good, do all the cooking. Be quiet as a church mouse.

“Analise? Honey, where are you?”

She hid further in the corner of the closet, closing her eyes. She was a big girl. Ten years old. She knew closing her eyes wouldn’t make her disappear; she just wished it would.

The closet door opened, light spilling in from the bedroom.

“Here you are. Come on, sweetie. Come on out,” Ms. Fuergusen cajoled. Analise shook her head, waterfalls cascading down her face.

Ten minutes later, they were pulling away from the only house she’d ever called home. From the only person that ever loved her. Correction. The only person that loved her was buried under the dirt, worms eating her decaying flesh. Anyone who loved her would never send her to what would later become worse than a living hell.

At the tender age of ten, Analise vowed to never let anyone that close to her again. Love led to lies, hurt and betrayal.

For the second time in the last several hours, she awoke to a gentle touch on her cheek. She was completely disoriented and blinked her eyes open, trying to shake off her dream. She hadn’t dreamt of her past in a very long time. Staring down at her with affection—
and desire
—was Damian.

“Hello, kitten. How are you feeling?” His voice was silky soft, like feathers gliding over her sensitive skin.

“Is it morning yet?”

“No, it’s still the middle of the night. I just wanted to check on you. How does your head feel?”

“Ummm…I’m not sure.” A slight headache lingered, but it was mostly gone. She pulled herself into a sitting position, leaning against the soft leather headboard.

Damian’s eyes snapped to her chest. She followed his line of sight, noticing her nipples were as hard as pencil erasers. She could even faintly see the outline of her areola through the thin tank. When her eyes lifted, they connected with his. And just like that, she lit up inside. Her stomach was in a free fall, like every other time she’d looked at him tonight. She was sure the lust on his face was mirrored in hers. Holy guacamole, she wanted him. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

He swallowed thickly and even his Adam’s apple was sexy. Movement caught in her peripheral and, looking down, she watched him grow hard right before her eyes.

“Kitten, you’d better stop looking at me like I’m your favorite saucer of milk or I’m not going to be responsible for what happens next. I’m barely holding it together as it is.” His voice was low and hoarse, ratcheting up his sexy status another notch to so-fucking-hot-I-dare-you-not-to-touch-this
.

“I want to be inside you so bad, Analise,” he groaned.

God, she wanted that too.

How could she be so wildly attracted to a man she’d just met? This wasn’t at all like her. Was this some sort of vampire voodoo? She’d heard of this type of thing before. Vampires could make humans do their bidding at will. Was that what was happening here? Was that why she could barely resist the urge to climb into his lap and rub her body all over his…like a goddamned cat? Like a
kitten
!

She saw red. How
dare
he try to compel her!

“What are you doing to me?” She grabbed the blankets and covered herself completely, putting a ridiculously flimsy barrier between them.

He actually had the audacity to smirk. “You mean besides making you wet?”

She inhaled sharply, her mouth forming an O. He did not! What an asshole. Of course, he’d already admitted as much earlier.

“I want to know what you are doing to me and I want you to stop. Right now,” she spat.

“So…I guess you’re feeling better then.”
Ooh
. Fury spiked her blood pressure higher by the millisecond. He pushed every single one of her buttons. Good and bad.

“Do you really get women with that mouth of yours?”

“Ah, kitten, come now. You wound me.” He held his hand over his heart in mock hurt. “It’s not my
mouth
that gets women.”

“You are the most infuriating, cocky person I have ever met.” And sexy and handsome and erotic and…

“God, I love hearing the word cock come out of your mouth. I’m so fucking turned on right now, Analise. You have no idea.” Lust and desire clouded his eyes.

When had he gotten so close? Unrestrained hunger tightened his stunning face. He had no issues showing or telling her how much he wanted her. It was unsettling…and a huge turn on.

He leaned closer, bringing their mouths within a hairsbreadth of each other. She had only to lean forward an inch and his soft lips would be hers for the taking. He would let her and she wanted nothing more. He scrambled her brains.

God, Analise, stop being such a tramp
.

She pushed on his chest, trying to gain some space, some breathing room. He moved only slightly and that was only because he chose to do so. She was under no illusion she’d managed to move someone built like a 747. As she felt the hardness and warmth of his pecs under her hand, she realized touching him was a tremendously bad idea. All she could think of was trailing her fingers down his torso until they reached his greatest treasure.

Whew
…was it hot in here suddenly?

This was not going at
all
according to plan. Granted, she hadn’t yet hammered out the details of her elaborate strategy, but letting him have control definitely wasn’t in it. And right now, he had it in spades.

“What are you doing to me?” The soft words barely passed her constricted throat. Now, however, she wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by them.

His eyes never left hers as he closed the gap, capturing her lips gently between his.

“The same thing you’re doing to me, Analise,” he whispered reverently before taking them again. How could he make her want to commit murder one minute and melt like chocolate sitting in the hot sun the next?

Damian deepened the kiss, scattering her thoughts to the wind. Next thing she knew, she was on his lap, straddling his hips, his erection prodding between her legs. Had he moved her there or had she done that herself? Strong, muscled arms held her tight against an equally sinewy body. Unable to stop herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let her body take over. As Damian ate at her mouth, her hips rolled, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing perfectly against her terry-covered clit. Their tongues dueled, their breaths quickened.

She ran her hands over his back, down his arms. She couldn’t get enough of his toned, sleek body. He caught her wrists, holding them with one hand at the small of her back. Her pulse skyrocketed. She hated being restrained but with Damian she became even more impossibly turned on. She was embarrassingly wet if the dampness on her pajamas was any indication.

Damian scattered hot, open-mouthed kisses on her face, her neck. He’d placed his free hand on her hips, helping them keep time with her pace. She was quickly soaring toward orgasm and he hadn’t even touched her…at least not in the way that counted. This was all kinds of wrong, but she couldn’t stop. Her head felt heavy, falling back on her shoulders. She was so close to soaring.

“Come for me, Analise. I need to see you fall apart in my arms.” His soft voice sounded raw, husky, and was exactly what she needed to push her over the edge into complete paradise. A white light exploded behind her closed lids. Goose bumps blanketed her body as an orgasm ripped through her, setting every nerve ending on fire. She’d never felt pleasure like this. She rode the wave for what seemed like eternity.

When she finally came down from ecstasy, she felt Damian’s soft kisses at the corners of her mouth, her eyelids, her cheeks. He’d released her arms at some point and placed one hand at the small of her back and one around her neck. His strong grip felt…comforting. Right.

As the last vestiges of her orgasm waned, shame flooded her. Her cheeks warmed. How could she have just rubbed herself to climax on Damian’s lap, like some wanton hussy? She tried, but couldn’t help the tears that formed, spilling over her lids. Great, the last thing she needed was Damian to think she was easy
and
an emotional head case. Christ, let’s just multiply her embarrassment a thousandfold.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Too late.
Uhhhh
.
Shoot me now.
She kept her eyes closed, wishing the whole thing would go away. She’d done that a lot in her life. Hadn’t worked so far. Guess she wasn’t a quick learner.

“Kitten, talk to me. What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?” He sounded slightly panicked.

Did he hurt her? No, not yet. But he would. Just give him time. Everyone did sooner or later.

“I don’t want to be another notch on your bedpost,” she whispered, inwardly groaning. Where in God’s name had that come from? That was not at all what she intended to say.
Get out before I let you fuck me
had been more like it.

“Ahhh, kitten.” He pulled her tightly to him, strong arms wrapping completely around her, stroking her back, her hair. Tears fell quietly, wetting his shirt. Pretty soon snot would be running down her face. Great.
Excuse me, Damian, while I wipe my boogers from your two hundred-dollar shirt.

He held her as he spoke, his voice firm, but full of sincerity. “Listen to me good, Analise. You are
not
another notch on my bedpost. I don’t want another woman. Only you.” He pulled back cupping her cheeks in his strong hands, forcing her eyes to his. “I won’t hurt you, Analise. I will protect you. I will protect your heart. I promise.”

The ability to speak vanished. She shook her head. That was all she could do. He sounded so sure, so sincere, so possessive. She ached to believe him. Every word he said resonated deep inside, slowly filling each empty crevice in her very damaged soul. Every word created more chinks in her already fragile armor. For the first time since she was ten years old, she longed to be loved by someone. To
belong
to someone. To Damian.

Stupid, foolish schoolgirl thoughts.

He touched his lips to hers one last time before pulling the sheets back. Sliding in, fully clothed, he pulled her body into his, arranging them comfortably.

“Go back to sleep, Analise. I’ll be right here when you wake.” He was staying. She was never more grateful…or terrified. Letting him stay was the single dumbest idea ever, but she was simply too exhausted to fight him.

The walls she’d spent so many years building were crumbling quickly and she had no clue how to stop them from disintegrating into nothingness. And that would be so very bad. Because if she allowed Damian into her life, into her heart and he broke her…well, she would never recover. Damian would literally be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Hope. It was a fool’s emotion. It was that tiny light at the end of a black tunnel that kept one going in even the darkest of times, but the inevitable crash that followed was all the more devastating because once you reached the end you realize it wasn’t a light at all. It had been a sick, twisted illusion all along. She should know. She was Hope’s bitch.

Against her better judgment, she drifted off to sleep in the warmth and comfort of his arms, wondering what in the hell she was going to do now. Because in order to find Beth, she needed Damian. And against all that made sense, she couldn’t spend much more time with him without falling head over heels in love. But that also meant she could end up eternally broken.

Analise had recovered from heart-crushing devastation and deep betrayal throughout her life, but she knew without a single doubt that she would never recover from loving and losing Damian DiStephano.

He held the power to destroy her permanently.

C
hapter
15