Beloved (34 page)

“I’m sorry to say he presented me with an ultimatum before he left. Either I succeed in bedding you before he returns or my family will suffer for my failure.” He looked toward the little Romanesque chapel at the end of the promenade. “I fear our…friendship is about to come to an end.”

Christina said nothing. She’d all but forgotten Guy’s reason for bringing Stefano into their house. The three of them had gotten along so well together that she’d prayed Guy would be satisfied. Apparently, he wasn’t.

“And how is he to know you’ve done what he’s asked?”

“I have no idea, but I seriously doubt he’ll be inclined to take my word for it.” Stefano laughed sadly. “I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to lie about your behavior. You’ve been much too kind to me.” He did his best to smile for her. “Perhaps he’s instructed the servants to spy on us. I really don’t know.”

Christina began to walk again. She really didn’t want Stefano to leave. His very presence seemed to have distracted Guy, who’d treated her quite well since Stefano’s arrival. Yet, what could she do? She had no intention of becoming Stefano’s lover for Guy’s benefit.

“If he’s depending on the servants for information, is it possible we could pretend a more intimate relationship when we know we might be observed?”

“Ah, Signora
.
” Stefano smiled, sadly. “You are too kind. I could not compromise you in that way.”

“But would you, indeed, be compromising me? If we were only to pretend to be nervous and guilty in their presence, what harm?”

“You must remember we still don’t know why your husband wants so badly for this to happen. Perhaps he’s only waiting for an excuse to use it against you.”

Christina felt a chill. It was quite possible. She’d learned long ago that she couldn’t second-guess Guy. His mind worked in ways she simply didn’t understand.

“I think we must try it, Signore. Perhaps just a bit of play-acting will be enough.”

Stefano stopped and took her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips.

“God bless you, Signora.”

At first she merely pretended more interest in Stefano at home, but soon, one thing led to another and he held her hand or put his arm around her whenever they knew that they were observed. Stefano was able to convince her that they must be caught kissing, and so, as so often happens, one kiss led to another. Christina felt his passion, saw it in his eyes, but she continued to tell herself he was only giving a convincing performance for the benefit of the servants. Afterall, when they were alone and unobserved, wasn’t he a perfect gentleman? But there was a hunger in his touch, a longing whenever their lips met. She felt it, too.

And so it was with a certain amount of reluctance that she allowed him to convince her to let him spend the last night before Guy’s return in her room. He assured her it would be the only thing that might convince the servants that they were lovers. And while she saw the reason for his proposal, she was not at all sure she should allow it.

In the end, her worries were for nothing. Stefano spent the night asleep on a pile of duvets at the foot of her bed without so much as a goodnight kiss.

When Guy returned the next afternoon he found Christina in the library, going through more of her father’s books. She stood up nervously as he entered the room, but he seemed quite pleased to see her. He was smiling as he took her in his arms and kissed her.

“My dear, you look radiant. Has Stefano kept you happy in my absence?”

Christina blushed furiously. Evidently, her reaction was the one he’d hoped for because he smiled.

“I’ve enjoyed his company,” she said carefully, “but I’m glad you’re home. I’ve been looking forward to the three of us spending the holidays together.” She tried to smile brightly for him, but the look in his eyes made her very nervous.

Guy released her. “Well, I’m glad he’s been a distraction for you. I knew it was a good idea to invite him to stay with us.”

His expression made Christina think he was inferring something else. She had no idea whether or not he’d talked to the servants yet or if he was trying to judge Stefano’s success—or lack of it—from her reactions. She was mercifully saved from further speculation when Guy insisted that he had some work to do and would see her at supper.

That evening Guy was in the best of moods, sharing amusing stories about his trip and about the factory. Stefano seemed relaxed and not at all wary of Guy, though he did cast a glance or two in Christina’s direction that he meant to be reassuring.

But Christina was not reassured. She found it quite disturbing that Guy seemed happier than she’d ever seen him because he thought she was having an affair with another man. She couldn’t understand why, after going to such extraordinary lengths to keep her from marrying Richard (and she had not forgotten about the bolt of silk that had miraculously appeared from the stolen shipment), Guy would suddenly seem to be so pleased to learn she’d taken another man to her bed.

Christina couldn’t help but be suspicious of her husband’s motives, and even more suspicious when he failed to come to her that night as he always did on his first night back from a trip.

When Guy did return to her bed, his lovemaking carried an undercurrent of thinly concealed violence and while he didn’t actually hurt nor threaten her, Christina found the encounters very upsetting. She began to sense something new and dark in Guy, something she couldn’t name. It frightened her.

The holiday celebrations swept her into a whirlwind of preparations and a round of parties, which she attended with both men. The three of them spent a great deal of time together, though whenever they were with others, Stefano was attentive to whatever young ladies might be present. And there were many, all of whom seemed charmed by his good looks and polished manners.

And on some of those nights, especially after a particularly gala evening, Guy would come to her and rather than his usual abrupt coupling, he would lie beside her for some time, slowly stroking her body as he talked of watching Stefano dancing with one young lady or another. If he hoped this would stimulate his wife, he was surely disappointed.

But for all his attempts at indifference when the three of them were together, Stefano’s eyes betrayed his feelings, so Christina was at a loss to understand why he refused to be alone with her. Surely he had feelings about Guy’s odd behavior, too? And then she began to worry that Guy might have threatened Stefano in some new way.

Her only friend was slowly slipping away.

One day, Stefano returned to the house early in the afternoon. He went straight to the library, but Christina followed him, shutting and locking the doors behind her. Stefano sat at the desk, looking at her, obviously surprised by her determined expression which promised a confrontation of some sort.

“I’m sorry, but I want to talk to you,” Christina said. She had to know why he was going to such lengths to avoid her. “Forgive me, Stefano, but I must know if something’s wrong.”

He said nothing. Christina could feel the sting of tears. What had she done to make him turn from her?

“Stefano, please, you have no idea how this upsets me.”

“Upsets
you
?” he said loudly, slamming his fist into the desk as he stood.

Christina was startled. “Please, tell me what’s wrong?”

He was beside her in an instant, taking her roughly by the arms. He stared at her as if he were looking for some sign that she was deceiving him. Then, quite suddenly, he kissed her.

At first Christina was shocked and she tried to pull away, but Stefano held her tightly. A moment later, she surrendered herself to the insistence of his mouth, just as she had that day at her father’s house. And just as he had that day, Stefano finally ended it. This time there was no apology.

Christina was unable to move. “What is it?”

“You really don’t know, do you?”

Her confused expression provided the answer.

“You haven’t the faintest idea what this is doing to me.” He stared into her eyes, then his voice trailed off and he let her go. Turning toward the tall bookshelves, he ran a finger lightly over the gold-stamped spines of the neatly arranged volumes.

“What?”

“You have no idea what it’s been like for me these past weeks, watching you with him. It’s tearing me up inside and I can’t bear it any longer.” Stefano turned back and faced her squarely. “I’m leaving, Christina. I have no choice.”

“But why?” she asked in desperation.

“Because I love you, dammit!” He blurted the words, then took her in his arms and kissed her again.

His lips moved to her cheeks, her forehead, her throat as he pressed her body against his and Christina knew that she wanted it to go on. She needed him. She needed so very much to be loved.

“Take me with you, please,” she pleaded. “If you leave me here, I’ll die.”

As Stefano held her tightly, she couldn’t see his smile.

Stefano and Christina made plans to leave Arles the day after Guy was scheduled to return to Venice. Christina told her servants she would be going on a trip to Beauvu to visit her family’s graves and the ailing Baron, and that she expected to be gone four days. She hoped that would give her a sufficient head start so she wouldn’t be missed for a week or more.

The two of them planned to travel to Torino where Stefano had a cousin who, he assured her, would welcome them. Stefano was going to leave Arles the same day Guy did, saying that he, too, was returning to Venice. Instead, he would go on ahead and meet Christina in Aix. He convinced her the plan was foolproof. There was no way Guy could learn they were missing in less than two weeks, and by then they’d be happily settled in Italy.

Still, Christina had misgivings. While she was happy she was leaving with Stefano, she also felt things were going a little too easily. The story that she was visiting Beauvu drew no questions from the servants, not even from Marie, whom she was leaving behind. Was it really so much easier for a married woman to run away with her lover than it had been for a young woman to follow the man she loved?

She was also faced with the problem of what to take with her. Finally, she packed two trunks of her most prized keepsakes and sent them off to Montmajour along with her parents’ portraits and one of her brother, which for some reason seemed to upset Guy, no matter where she’d hung it. Those things could always be sent for when she and Stefano were settled. Beyond that, she packed little. She could certainly buy new things in Italy.

There was nothing else from Guy’s house she would want in her new life.

Finally, the anticipated day arrived and Christina left her husband’s house for the last time. She felt strange as the doors to the courtyard closed behind her, almost giddy with relief as the new sense of freedom threatened to overwhelm her.

The carriage ride to Aix was a long one and as the discomfort of the journey dampened the excitement of the morning, Christina found an ample amount of time to reflect on her future. She’d been so anxious to leave her husband that she’d spent little time thinking about what lay ahead. Now, as the carriage swiftly carried her toward a rendezvous with her lover—she felt the heat in her cheeks even as she thought it—she realized she and Stefano had never discussed the practical aspects of their new life together.

He assured her that his relatives in Italy would welcome them. But would they really be so happy to give shelter to Stefano and his mistress? Or did he intend to lie and call her his wife? And what of his brothers and their families in Venice? Would they be ruined? Guy would very likely punish anyone and everyone he could for her disappearance.

She wondered how she and Stefano would live. Would his family find work for him? And would it be enough to support them? What little money she had of her own wouldn’t last them longer than a year, even if it was carefully managed. What then? Christina realized she didn’t care. What mattered was that she would be with someone who loved her, and whenever she saw him it would be very like having Richard back, very like having Richard love her again and she needed that more than she needed anything else on earth.

As her carriage entered Aix, everywhere she looked there was some type of construction going on, making it seem the town was expanding in every direction. She was nervous by the time she arrived at the hôtel where she was to meet Stefano, but the
maître d’hôtel
seemed to be expecting her and when he addressed her as Madame Ferro, she felt a great sense of relief.

She followed the two men carrying her trunks up the wide staircase to a spacious room on the second floor. On the table before the fireplace was a large bouquet and an envelope.

Diletto Mio,

I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to meet you, but I must make arrangements for the remainder of our journey. Make yourself comfortable and I will join you in time for supper.

I’m counting the hours until we are together again.

Yours,

Stefano

Christina refolded the note and returned it to the envelope. Then she began to change out of her traveling clothes, wondering how she would feel when she saw Stefano again and more importantly, what their first night together as lovers would bring.

When Stefano finally returned, he lifted her off her feet in a passionate embrace. She felt the desire in his touch, his hungry mouth, his entire body, but a few moments later he released her. She sensed his restraint and was grateful as she suddenly realized that this feeling of intimacy was all very strange to her. It would take some getting used to.

They shared a quiet supper in their room, a meal sprinkled with so many looks and touches, so many endearments and such an ample supply of good wine that Christina soon found herself feeling like a nervous schoolgirl in the company of an experienced man of the world—infatuated, but terribly unsure of herself.

As the meal progressed, every glance across the table assured her that it was Richard sharing the meal, Richard whose fingers caressed hers so tenderly. Though she felt a pang of disloyalty to Stefano, she abandoned herself to the illusion.