Best Friend to Perfect Bride (Contemporary Medical Romance) (7 page)

‘Penny for them, Dr MacIntyre.’

Her voice was low but Mac heard the uncertainty it held and lowered his arm. Rolling onto his side, he pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the lips. Maybe he did have doubts, but he intended to keep them to himself. He didn’t want her worrying unnecessarily.

‘I’m not sure they’re worth as much as a penny,’ he countered, clamping down on the rush of desire that flooded through him. They had made love not once but twice and he really shouldn’t be feeling this need again, he told himself sternly, but to very little effect. ‘I was just letting my mind drift rather than thinking actual thoughts.’

‘So you weren’t regretting what we’ve done?’ She looked steadily into his eyes and he sighed, unable to lie to her.

‘No. I don’t regret it, but I do wonder if it was right. I...well, I don’t want it to affect our friendship, Bella, and make life even more complicated for you.’

‘Neither do I.’

She smiled but there was something about her expression that made him wonder if he had phrased that badly. Getting into a discussion about the problems it could cause if they had an affair didn’t seem right, but maybe he should have made his feelings clearer? However, before he could try to make amends, she tossed back the quilt and stood up. Mac gulped as he was treated to a tantalising glimpse of her beautiful body before she pulled on a robe.

‘I’ll have a shower then make us some coffee. There’s a second bathroom along the corridor if you want to use that,’ she told him briskly.

‘Thanks.’

Mac stayed where he was until she had disappeared into the en-suite bathroom. Getting out of bed, he gathered up his clothes and made his way to the bathroom. There was a heavy feeling in his heart, a suspicion that he had upset her, and he hated to think that his clumsiness had caused her any pain, but what should he do? Sit her down and explain how awkward he felt about encroaching on Tim’s territory?

Although Bella had claimed that there was no chance of her and Tim getting back together, she could change her mind. He had seen it happen to other couples, watched as time had softened the bad memories and brought the good ones into focus. He wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that happening. Neither would he want to be left with a broken heart if it did. If Bella did rediscover her love for Tim then how would it affect him?

Once again the fear of finding himself rejected reared its ugly head. As Mac got dressed, he tried his best to rationalise it away. He was a grown man, after all, not a scared seven-year-old child, and if anything happened he would deal with it. However, no matter how he tried to reason the fear away, it wouldn’t budge. In all those dark places he didn’t visit very often, he knew that losing Bella would be far worse than anything that had happened to him before. Once he had allowed himself to fall in love with her, his heart would no longer be his. It would belong exclusively to her.

* * *

Bella had the coffee ready by the time Mac appeared. She loaded everything on to a tray and carried it through to the sitting room. He was standing by the window, ostensibly enjoying the view, but she sensed that his thoughts were far removed from the charms of the moonlit scene. Was he afraid that he had allowed his judgement to be swayed by passion? Was he worried in case she had used sex as a means to convince him of her innocence? That thought stung more than any other could have done. The only reason she had slept with him was because she had wanted to!

She plonked the tray on the table with a thud that made him swing round and she felt her heart scrunch up in her chest when she saw the strain on his face. Whatever thoughts he was harbouring obviously weren’t pleasant ones. Picking up the pot, she poured coffee into the mugs, wishing that some passing genie would spirit her away. She wasn’t up to this! She couldn’t face the thought of explaining why she had slept with him when it was obvious that her reasons were a world removed from his. Oh, so maybe he had wanted her; she’d seen definite proof of that! However, it meant nothing if he now regretted what they had done.

Bella’s hand shook as she put the pot back on the tray. She couldn’t believe how painful it was to know that Mac wished tonight had never happened. It felt like another rejection, just like the way Tim had rejected her when he’d had that affair. What was wrong with her? Was it her inability to show her emotions that drove men away?

That was what Tim had said during one of those terrible rows they’d had. He had accused her of being so cold that she had driven him into the arms of another woman. He had even blamed her coldness for his drug addiction and, although Bella knew that he had been trying to excuse his behaviour by blaming her, the words had stuck in her mind. Now they rose to the surface again to taunt her.

She was incapable of showing her true emotions because there was something missing from her make-up, some vital element she was lacking. No wonder Mac was having second thoughts about what had happened tonight. After all, what man would want to get involved with someone like her? Someone who wasn’t a
real
woman.

* * *

Mac drank his coffee as quickly as he could. It was scalding hot but, he gulped it down anyway, uncaring if it burnt his tongue. He needed to get away and the sooner the better, preferably. He had never gone in for the
wham, bam, thank you, ma’am
routine; he’d had far too much respect for the women he had slept with to treat them that way. However, he would have given his right arm to simply cut and run without offering up any explanations. If he started to explain to Bella why he wanted to leave so desperately, who knew what he’d end up admitting? The thought of laying his soul bare gave him hot and cold chills and he stood up abruptly. He had to leave. Right now, this very second. No matter what Bella thought of him!

‘I have to go.’

He headed for the door, hating himself for leaving her like this, yet unable to do anything about it. He knew that he was within a hair’s breadth of falling in love with her and the thought scared him witless. It was all very well telling himself that he could cope with anything that happened, but could he if it involved losing Bella? Could he honestly see himself carrying on if he loved and subsequently lost her? Just the thought made his head spin, round and round, faster and faster, until it felt as though his thoughts were swirling on a merry-go-round. Losing Bella would be the one thing he couldn’t handle, the thing that would bring him down, and he couldn’t take that risk.

He stopped when he reached the front door, forcing himself to smile as he turned to her. His heart stuttered to a halt when he saw the pain in her eyes but he had to be strong, had to do what was right for her as well as right for him. It wasn’t just himself he had to think about, after all. How Bella was going to feel was even more important. He couldn’t bear to think that she would be consumed by guilt about what they had done if she did decide to go back to Tim.

‘I know we crossed a lot of boundaries tonight, Bella,’ he said gruffly, trying to batten down the thought of how he would feel if that happened. ‘But there’s no need to feel...well,
awkward
about what’s happened. We’ve always been friends and I hope that we can still be friends from now on too.’

‘If that’s what you want.’

Her voice echoed with scepticism and Mac grimaced, understanding completely why she had difficulty believing him. Friends didn’t usually make mad passionate love, did they? They definitely didn’t cross that boundary! The thought of how hard it was going to be to think of her as a friend after tonight was too much to handle and he shrugged, opting for the easier route, a half-truth.

‘It is. I value our friendship, Bella. I always have.’ Bending, he dropped what he hoped was a friendly kiss on her cheek, drawing back when he felt his body immediately respond. So much for friendship, he thought wryly as he opened the door. All it took was one chaste little kiss and he was up and running again!

He made his way to the lift, pausing briefly to wave before he stepped inside. He heard the apartment door close as the lift set off and sighed. If only that was the end of the matter, but there was no point kidding himself: tonight was going to have far-reaching consequences for both of them. He and Bella had slept together and even if they ignored what had happened, it wouldn’t go away. It would be like the proverbial elephant in the room whenever they were together, always there but never acknowledged.

He groaned. What in heaven’s name had he done?

CHAPTER SEVEN

T
HE
DAYS
FLEW
PAST
. With the schools breaking up for the long summer holiday, there were a lot of visitors in the area and that meant they were busier than ever in the paediatric A&E unit. Bella started early and finished late but she didn’t complain. It was easier when she was working. It was when she was on her own that it became a problem. With nothing to distract her, her mind kept returning to what had happened that night in her apartment. She and Mac had made love and whilst she knew that a lot of women would have taken it in their stride, she couldn’t do that. That night had been a turning point for her. She had not only discovered how it felt to be a real woman but she had also realised how inadequately suited she was to the role. It was much easier not to have to think about it.

It was a Saturday evening, three weeks after that fateful night, when Bella found herself working with Mac. Up till then their paths had crossed only fleetingly; if she’d been working days, he had been working nights. However, that night they were both rostered to work and she knew that she would have to deal with it. He was already there when she arrived, standing by the desk, laughing at something Laura Watson was saying to him. Bella felt her heart jolt as the memories came flooding back. Mac had looked like that when they had made love. His expression had been softened then by pleasure. If she lived to be a hundred, she would never forget that night, no matter how hard she tried.

He suddenly glanced round and she took a steadying breath as his gaze landed on her. Although neither of them had said anything, they were both aware of the rules. If they were to continue behaving as friends then there must be no harking back to what had happened. They must focus on the here and now, not on what they had done that night.

‘It sounds as though you two are having fun,’ she said lightly, going over to the desk to sign in.

‘Laura was just telling me about one of the children she saw this morning,’ Mac explained. He stepped back, ostensibly to give Bella some room, although she suspected that in reality he was trying to avoid touching her. A spurt of anger suddenly shot through her. He had been more than eager to touch her that night, hadn’t he?

‘Oh, yes?’ She smiled up at him, her green eyes holding a hint of challenge. Maybe they had agreed to behave as though nothing had happened, but it wasn’t true. They had made love and not once either, but twice. Whether he liked the idea or not, he couldn’t just ignore what they had done. ‘So what happened?’

‘Oh, nothing much. The kid just got a bit confused, that’s all.’ He glanced round when the phone rang. ‘I’ll get that.’

He headed to the phone, leaving Bella seething even though she wasn’t sure why exactly. After all, it made far more sense to pretend that nothing had happened, especially when there was no chance of there being a repeat. She snorted in disgust as the thought slid into her head. There definitely wasn’t going to be a repeat. One night in Mac’s arms had caused enough upheaval in her life!

Bella worked her way through the list. There was nothing really serious, just a lot of cuts and bruises, as could be expected when so many children were on holiday. She patched up several cut knees and sent a couple of youngsters for X-rays, and that was it. By the time she was due to take her break, there was just one child waiting to be seen. Mac had finished with his patient and arrived at the desk at the same time as her. He shrugged as he reached over and picked up the last file.

‘I’ll take this if you want to go for your break, Bella. We may as well make the most of it while it’s quiet.’

‘Fine.’

Bella headed for the lift. Although she wasn’t hungry, a cup of tea would be very welcome. Mac had taken his patient to the cubicles and the waiting room was empty. She was about to step into the lift when the main doors opened and a couple of police officers came in. The female officer was carrying a baby in her arms and Bella paused, wondering what was going on. When Janet, their receptionist, beckoned to her, she hurried over to them.

‘What’s happened?’

‘We received a report to say that a baby had been left at home on its own,’ the male officer explained. ‘When we got to the flat, we found the front door open. The child was inside, screaming its head off. It doesn’t appear to be injured, from what we can tell, but we need you to check it over, just to make sure.’

‘Of course.’ Bella led the way to the treatment room. ‘If you can put the baby on the bed, I’ll examine it.’

She undid the poppers down the front of the child’s sleepsuit and slipped it off then removed its vest and nappy. It was a little girl and she appeared to be both clean and well-nourished. Bella carefully checked her over and shook her head.

‘No, there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s a little bit dehydrated but that can soon be sorted out once we give her a drink. Do you know where the mother is?’

‘No idea. The neighbour who phoned in the report wasn’t able to tell us very much.’ The officer sighed. ‘Apparently, she’s little more than a kid herself, from what we can gather. We’ve been on to Social Services and we’re hoping they might be able to help us.’

‘Do you know her name?’ Bella asked slowly, although she had a feeling that she already knew the name of the baby’s mother.

‘Yes. The neighbour was able to tell us that much at least.’ The officer consulted his notebook. ‘Freya Watson. We’re trying to find out if she’s local. If we can trace her family then they might know where she’s gone.’

‘I can give you their address.’ Bella brought up Freya’s file on the computer. She gave the policeman the Watsons’ address then quickly explained the situation. ‘I’d like to think that Freya’s parents know where she is, but they were furious when they found out about the baby and refused to have anything more to do with her,’ she concluded. ‘If Freya has been living in the flat on her own with the baby then it doesn’t look as though they’ve had a change of heart, does it?’

‘No. It doesn’t.’ The policeman sighed as he wrote everything down in his notebook. ‘Right, then. It might turn out to be a waste of time but I’ll get on to the station and ask them to send someone round to speak to the girl’s parents. The sooner we find out what’s happened to her, the better.’

Both officers went outside to make the call, leaving Bella alone with the baby. She sighed as she picked her up and cradled her in her arms. It was no wonder that Freya had found it difficult to cope. Caring for a child on your own was a lot for any woman to deal with. Why, even she would find it hard and she was a lot older than Freya and had far more resources at her disposal. Quite frankly, she couldn’t imagine how she would cope if she found herself in the position of being a single parent, not that it was likely to happen. Mac had taken great care to ensure she didn’t get pregnant that night they had made love.

A tiny ache awoke in her heart, even though she knew how stupid it was. However, his determination to make sure that there were no consequences from their night of passion simply proved how he really felt about her. Maybe he’d been keen enough to sleep with her but he certainly wasn’t looking for anything more.

* * *

Mac was surprised to see the police there when he got back from attending to his patient. He went over to the reception desk and asked Janet what was going on.

‘They brought in a baby that had been left home alone.’ She lowered her voice. ‘From what I overheard just now, they seem to think it’s Freya Watson’s baby.’

‘Really?’ Mac exclaimed.

He glanced round when he heard footsteps, feeling a whole raft of emotions hit him when he saw Bella walking towards him, carrying the baby in her arms. He had never really thought about having children. Although he liked kids, the fact that he had always avoided commitment meant that it had never been an issue before. Now, however, as he looked at Bella holding the baby, he realised all of a sudden what he was missing.

He could picture it now, imagine how wonderful it would be to have a child of his own, a son or a daughter to love and cherish. His vision blurred as the image inside his head grew stronger. He could see a chubby little baby laughing up at him from its mother’s arms now. It was only when the mother’s face started to become clearer that Mac realised what was happening and groaned. Picturing Bella as the mother of his children was something he mustn’t do! It was a mistake of gigantic proportions to allow himself that much licence. Maybe Bella would have children one day, but one thing was certain: their father would be someone very different from him, a man who came from a background similar to her own.

* * *

Bella was relieved when her shift finally ended. It had been a stressful night for so many reasons. The police were still searching for Freya Watson and it was obvious that they were becoming increasingly concerned as time passed and they failed to find any trace of her. The baby had been placed with a foster carer so at least she had the comfort of knowing that the infant was being looked after. However, as she left the hospital, she couldn’t shake off the feeling of gloom that weighed her down.

Tim had only wanted to have a child with her to stop her divorcing him—he’d certainly not wanted one before then. And Mac had been at pains to ensure that nothing untoward happened in that department either. Even though she couldn’t blame him for behaving responsibly, she couldn’t rid herself of the thought that her inability to get in touch with her emotions had a huge bearing on the way both men had acted. The future had never seemed bleaker than it did right then and she realised that there was no point going home as she would never be able to sleep with all these thoughts whizzing around her head.

She left the hospital and headed to a supermarket on the outskirts of town that should open shortly. She hadn’t done any food shopping for several weeks and the cupboards were bare. She filled a trolley then paid for her shopping and loaded everything in to her car. At least it had helped to distract her but, as she set off home, she found the same thought churning round and round inside her head: unless she got in touch with her emotions she would never be truly happy.

Maybe it was the stress, but somehow she must have taken a wrong turning because she found herself on a road she had never driven along before. She drove on for a few more miles, searching for any clues as to where she was. The car’s satellite navigation system wasn’t any help; it just showed an unmarked road and nothing else. When the road suddenly petered out into a track, Bella decided to turn round rather than risk going any further and getting completely lost. She carefully manoeuvred the car, shunting it backwards and forwards across the narrow track. She had almost completed the turn when there was an almighty bang from the rear of the vehicle.

She got out, her heart sinking when she discovered that one of the back wheels had hit a boulder and had buckled under the impact. There was no way that she could change the wheel herself, but maybe there was a farm up ahead and people who would help her?

Lifting her bag out of the car, she started walking. Although it was almost the middle of the morning, heavy black clouds hung overhead, obscuring the tops of the surrounding mountains, and she shivered. Although she was wearing a jacket, it wouldn’t be much use if it started to rain.

She must have walked a couple of miles before she decided to give up. There had been no sign of a farmhouse and it seemed pointless carrying on. She turned back, grimacing when she felt the first drops of rain start to fall. Within seconds, it was pouring down, sheets of water falling from the sky and soaking through her clothing. Bella walked as fast as she could but the increasingly slippery ground hampered her progress and it took her twice as long to get back to the car.

She climbed in, shivering violently as she started the engine and switched on the heater. Digging in to her bag, she found her mobile phone, intending to call the local garage and ask them to come out and fetch her. It was only when she saw the phone’s blank screen that she realised the battery was flat. Tipping back her head, she groaned. What a perfect end to a miserable night!

* * *

Mac couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something wrong with Bella. Oh, he understood that it must have been a strain for her to work with him—heaven knew he hadn’t found it easy, either. Nevertheless, he couldn’t rid himself of the nagging thought that there was something else troubling her. As he left the hospital, he knew that he wouldn’t rest until he found out what was the matter, even though he doubted Bella would appreciate his concern. If last night was anything to go by, she would much prefer it if he steered well clear of her!

He drove into town, drawing up in front of the apartment block where she lived. There was no sign of her car in the courtyard and he frowned. He had assumed that she would go straight home after working all night but maybe she had stopped off along the way. He decided to wait but when she still hadn’t appeared an hour later, he realised that he might as well give up. There was no point in him hanging around if she had gone off somewhere. He would just have to try again later.

Mac headed home and went straight to bed but, even though he was tired after the busy night, he couldn’t sleep. His mind kept churning over all the reasons why Bella might be upset. The fact that Freya had gone missing was bound to have upset her, but was it really that which was troubling her or something of a more personal nature? Try as he might, he couldn’t come up with an answer and it was frustrating, to say the least, not to be able to find an explanation.

In the end he gave up any attempt to sleep and got up. He made himself a cup of coffee and stood on the deck while he drank it. It had started to rain but he barely noticed. Was it something he had said? Or was he deluding himself by thinking that anything
he
did could affect her?

He sighed. The truth was that he had no idea how Bella really felt about him. Maybe he should be glad that she seemed to have put what had happened that night behind her, but in his heart he knew it wasn’t relief he felt. It was something far more disturbing, an emotion he shouldn’t allow himself to feel. To wish that Bella would never forget that night, as he would never forget it, was selfish in the extreme.