Better Than Okay (17 page)

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he replied, his smile increasing.

His eyes travelled over her slowly and she blushed at the amount
of heat she saw in his. Her hair was hanging over one shoulder in loose spiral
curls and Raven’s skills with lipstick and blush made her feel like she was
about to try out for a Robin Thicke video or something.

“Raven brought vodka,” she said lamely because he was looking at
her so intently.

“I see,” he answered, although she didn’t know how because he
hadn’t stopped looking at her.

“Dude, seriously, can you stop staring at her and move?” Dorian
asked motioning toward the kitchen entrance that they were blocking.

Destiny knew she turned the color of her dress. Brian grinned and
stepped out of the way back toward the living room and Dorian brushed past him,
shaking his head.

“Told you,” Raven mouthed when Brian’s back was turned, giggling
as she followed Dorian into the kitchen.

Brian took Destiny’s hand and pulled her toward him, wrapping her
in an embrace.
 
“You’re trying to
kill me, right?” he asked her quietly, his eyes full of desire, though a
playful grin was on his lips.

“Why would I want to do that?” she answered, blushing for the
hundredth time in the past fifteen minutes.

He grinned at her reaction and dropped a kiss on her lips then
pressed his forehead to hers, inhaling her scent.

“You are so damn
cute
,”
he groaned softly.

She breathed him in, not even realizing how intensely she’d missed
him in the forty-eight hours since she’d last seen him. It scared her how
dependent on him she was becoming.

“Yo, we’re about to do some shots!” Dorian yelled from the
kitchen.

He let her go reluctantly and shook his head again.

“Killing me,” he repeated softly, grinning. He grabbed her hand
and led her into the kitchen. Dorian had already filled four shot glasses to
the brim. Brian released her hand and passed her one. She eyed it tentatively.

“To not having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to teach bad
ass middle schoolers for another six weeks,” Raven animatedly declared, raising
her glass.

“To sexy chipmunks wearing sexy dresses,” Dorian chimed in,
winking his eye at Raven.
 

“To uncontained beauty,” Brian said, quietly, not taking his eyes
off of Destiny.

Dorian rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. “Okay, Gandhi, damn,” he
said wryly, glancing at him before directing his attention to Destiny. “Tweet?”

“To…” she paused, thinking. “To rogue Calvin Klein models. And
exclamation points.”

Brian gave her an inquisitive look then smiled, lighting up her
insides and she grinned back. They tossed back their shots simultaneously and
Destiny winced as the smooth heat spread slowly from her throat to her stomach.

“Another one for the road?” Dorian asked, already grabbing the
bottle.

“Hell, yes,” Raven declared.

He refilled everyone’s glass and waited until they were raised.

“To living,” he said simply, and they all downed the shot.

Chapter 14

Destiny was having fun. She honestly hadn’t expected to, but
clowning around with Raven, Dorian, and Brian was more fun than she’d had in a
while. She hadn’t thought about him all night. They were sitting at the table
now, having a cocktail. She didn’t know what number Raven and Dorian were on,
but she was still sipping on her first. After two shots, she was already
feeling fuzzy and giddy and did not want to make the full voyage to Drunk Town
this early in the night. She noticed that Brian was taking it slow too.

They ended up at a lounge that had a dance floor. It was one of
the newer urban chic places that had started sprouting up around the city, and
was made to resemble a New York loft. Its concrete floors were splattered with
bright orange and blue paint and there were plush blue couches decorating the
space. There was a large window where a wall should’ve been with a spectacular
view of the Miami skyline.

 
As the night had
progressed and the music switched from acid jazz to dance music, more, and more
people were filling it up. She’d covered the lounge a couple of months ago for
Pitch.com
when it’d first opened. From
the looks of it, they’d found their groove. Michael Jackson was currently
vibrating throughout the space.

“Tweety, look! It’s Professor McGregor!” Raven exclaimed, her eyes
dancing with excitement.

Raven was sitting in Dorian’s lap, her drink in her hand, as she
pointed indiscreetly toward the bar area.

“Shut up!” Destiny said, turning to look. She was seated next to
Brian and his arm was stretched comfortably behind her. She moved more solidly into
his side, her legs crossed toward him.

She squinted at the guy, who was clearly not the strange, balding
English professor who’d insisted that the essence of life itself was wrapped up
in a James Baldwin novel. She rolled her eyes.

“Ray, that is not
him
. Why would he be in
Miami at a random club anyway?”

“Professors need to have fun too?” she shrugged, taking another
sip from her bright pink straw.

“Yeah, but that guy had a little too much fun if I remember
correctly,” Dorian chimed in knowingly.

“What is with you and teacher scandals?” Brian asked wrinkling his
face.

Dorian shrugged then grinned. “Remember Ms. Leonard from psych?”

Brian laughed and mirrored his expression.

“Hell yeah, I remember,” Brian said definitively, earning him a
look from Destiny.

Ms. Leonard taught senior psychology in high school and every boy
in the school had an unattainable fantasy about her, including Brian. She even
used to let him drive her car sometimes. Destiny was pretty sure that was
against school policy but Brian had a way with women, even back then. She
scowled at him and he chuckled and kissed the side of her head.

“Professor McGregor was really sexy though,” Raven continued,
ignoring Brian and Dorian, her expression overly dreamy.

Destiny frowned. “Um, no. He was not even remotely close to sexy.
He looked like the Planters Peanut guy.”

Raven laughed, waving Destiny off.

“I beg your pardon!? What is this nonsense of
which thou speaketh? Am I not the sexiest man you know?” Dorian interrupted,
doing a terrible impersonation of either Russell Crowe in
Gladiator
or Gerald Butler in
300
.
Destiny wasn’t sure which and had the feeling he wasn’t either.

Brian shot a glance at him. “I think she
already told you the answer to that— no. You just lost to a professor who
looks like a talking peanut.”

Destiny laughed and Dorian dramatically slammed
his hand down on the coffee table in front of them, now in full theatrical
mode.

“What say you people? Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?”

Good Lord.

“You’re not even making sense right now, Clarence,” Raven said,
wrinkling her face at him.

“Quiet!” he bellowed. “It doesn’t have to make sense, peasant
woman! Now, hush thyself go run amuck!”

Destiny couldn’t help but burst into giggles and she glanced at
Brian who was shaking his head, laughing as he took another sip of his drink.
Raven rolled her eyes and Dorian poked her lightly in the side, causing her to
squirm and laugh.

“Okay,” Raven said, composing herself and turning abruptly toward
Brian, “me and Tweety have been arguing about it and we need you to be the
deciding factor.”

Brian raised his eyebrows curiously waiting for her to continue.
He ran a finger lightly up and down Destiny’s shoulder. He barely touched her
but her body was immediately tuned to the place where his fingers brushed her
skin.

“Okay, if Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent got into an arm wrestling
match, who would win?”

Brian stared at her then at Destiny, grinning. He shrugged. “Um,
Michael Keaton Batman or Christian Bale Batman?” he asked, playing along.

“Dude, Superman,” Dorian interrupted. He looked at her like she
was crazy. “He’s
super
man.”

“We have so not been arguing about that,” Destiny denied, rolling
her eyes. Brian chuckled.

“Yeah, but Bruce Wayne has gadgets,” Raven insisted animatedly,
ignoring both of them as she shifted on Dorian’s lap to look at him. “So like,
maybe he would strap some contraption to his arm and have super powers that
would allow him to beat Superman.”

Dorian shook his head.

“The only thing that could possibly beat Superman is kryptonite,
which would be cheating.”

“No, it wouldn’t be cheating because it’s a legitimate weakness.
Just like Batman’s humanness is a legitimate weakness if he’s fighting a super
man.”

“Chipmunk, your ass is cute as hell, but you’re obviously drunk
and theorizing,” Dorian interrupted.

They went on arguing and Destiny looked up at Brian, grinning. He
shook his head leaned forward to grab his drink, taking a healthy swig before
he sat the glass back down on their coffee table.

“You good?” he asked her quietly.

She nodded her head quickly, trying not to frown. She was tired of
being asked that. Like she was about to break down at any moment. They were at
a lounge. Not in the middle of a parking deck. Or on her futon. This she could
handle.

She grabbed her drink, taking a long sip through her absurdly pink
straw. She knew she shouldn’t be upset, especially with Brian who had all but
given up his life to make sure she was alright on a daily basis. But she
couldn’t help it. She just wanted to feel normal for one night. And being asked
if she was OK a hundred times was not helping.
 
She took another sip and let the liquor
wash over her, calming her nerves.

“Hey,” he said, softly, causing her to look up at him again. “Did
I tell you that you look really, really good in that dress?”

His eyes were hooded as he stared at her, his gaze traveling from
her face down her chest to her legs. Her body heated up immediately. She shook
her head, not in answer to his question, but at herself. All it took was a look
from him and she went from being agitated to on fire.

“It’s really, really Raven’s,” she replied, suppressing a grin.

He laughed a little louder than necessary and she knew he was
probably a little buzzed too. He and Dorian had started drinking before her and
Raven arrived at their house.

“You just told me I was killing you,” she said. “Whatever that
meant.”

He stared at her for a minute, his expression growing serious.

“It means you’re so damn beyond beautiful it’s hard for me to keep
my hands to myself.”

She blinked and stared up at him, startled by the intensity of his
reply. He released a breath.

“I said I wouldn’t call you ‘beautiful’ because it’s corny and I
knew you would call me on it. But, shit, Destiny. You are. You’re beyond it. I
don’t even know the word for it, but whatever it is, you’re it.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she remained silent. She
knew her face was flushed and the pit of her stomach tightened.

“I’m trying to give you space,” he said, frustrated. “I know you
need some time. But it’s hard.” He paused. “Especially when you wear red
dresses.”

He picked lightly at the material of her dress before removing his
hand again. His eyes traveled to her lips and she inhaled.

“Did I tell you I really, really like your lips?” he asked, his
voice deep. “I’m pretty sure those aren’t Raven’s.”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth subconsciously and he
stared at her mouth, causing heat to spread through her body instantly.

“They look drawn on,” he murmured.

 
He was so close, all
she had to do was tilt her head up a couple of inches and she could press her
mouth to his. But that wouldn’t be fair. It’d be like teasing him because she
didn’t know how she might react if they took it any further. And God, she
wanted it to go further. She reached for her drink, quickly finishing it off as
she looked away, disappointment, frustration, sexual tension and fury beating
against her insides like a drum. When she looked back to him, he was watching
her, waiting for her to share her secrets, as usual.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Even though the music was thrumming loudly she knew he heard her. “You should
have… more. It shouldn’t have to be this hard.”

She shrugged listlessly.

“There is no ‘more.’ All I want is you,” he countered just as
softly.

The sincerity in his tone made her look up sharply.

“You’re all I want. I know it’s corn ball-ish, or whatever you
call it, but, whatever. I learned the hard way a long time ago how important it
is to say what you mean when you have the chance to say it.”

His eyes grew distant and he looked away then back to her.

“All that other easy shit is bullshit, Destiny. This is real life.
And real life is full of unexpected things, things that hurt. Things that are
inexplicable sometimes.”

He paused again, sucking her in with his eyes.

“I want you. Nothing has changed that. Nothing will change that.”

She shook her head as if physically rejecting his words. She
hadn’t even processed all of the emotions that were inside of her yet. But he
still wanted her? He didn’t even know who she was anymore.
She
didn’t even know who she was anymore. So how could he possibly
want what he didn’t know? She looked up at him. He was watching her digest what
he’d said. It was like he was seeing into her brain, sorting through her
muffled thoughts.

She didn’t want him in her brain. She didn’t want to think about
Brian’s feelings and everything she couldn’t be for him right now. She didn’t
want to think about how fucked up and angry she felt inside. She just wanted to
feel normal. And since she had no idea when that would be happening, she’d take
feeling numb.

“I need another drink,” she said, standing.

She ignored the look of disappointment and hurt that flashed in
his eyes. He controlled it quickly though, as he always did. Soon he would be
tired of her. And sooner was better than later. She could barely handle sooner.
She’d probably die if it were later when he decided this was too much to deal
with.

“Raven,” she called, breaking up the stupid ass conversation about
Batman she was still having with Dorian. “Let’s go get a drink.”

Raven eyed her then Brian and stood. Destiny headed for the bar.

“What’s going on?” Raven asked as soon as they made it to the
front of the lounge, where the bar was located.

The neon lights that lined it were silhouetting her face as she
looked at Destiny with concern. Destiny shook her head. She was so pissed. She
hated the way she was behaving. She hated how Brian had just looked at her.

“I just need another drink, “she said, answering Raven’s
questioning look.

She motioned for the bartender and ordered four vodkas and
cranberries.

“You
gotta
get out of your head, Tweety,”
Raven said, leaning her elbows on the bar counter as she looked at her.

“I can’t,” she replied simply. “I think I’m in love with him.”

She stared blankly at the colorful liquor bottles that were lining
the back of the bar area. Saying it aloud made it real and dangerous. Raven
squealed, jumping up and down in her stilettos. Until that very moment, Destiny
would’ve considered jumping in stilettos to be an impossible feat for anyone
not named Beyoncé.

“It’s not good, Ray,” she snapped. “I can’t be what he needs, not
now.”

“Destiny…”she started.

“Seriously. I didn’t tell you I like, spazzed out the other night.
We were kissing and then I just started having these flashbacks in the middle
of it. I couldn’t breathe and I had to go take another shower. You should’ve
seen the look on his face. He was freaked out. And he should’ve been.”