Better Than Okay (25 page)

She kissed him more intently, grabbing at his t-shirt, pulling him
closer and swung her leg over his hip so that she was straddling him. Her hands
pushed under his shirt and she ran them down the hard planes of his chest,
halting at the waistband of his boxers. He pulled back and looked at her, his
breathing ragged.

“You’ll stay with me tonight?” she asked breathily.

She didn’t wait for his response. She just slid soundlessly off of
his lap, heading down the narrow hall toward her bedroom. He got up and
followed, flicking off the living room light.
There was a candle flickering on her nightstand, and she turned
off the bedroom light before heading to her closet to get one of the ribbed
tank tops she’d stolen from him.

She pushed off her tank top and unsnapped her bra, shrugging out
of it before pulling his tank top over her head. She was aware that he was
watching her from his spot on the edge of the bed. She wasn’t trying to give
him a show, but she wasn’t trying to be modest either. She turned and faced the
bed before stepping out of her spandex. She could see his chest rising and
falling under the soft light of the candle as he watched her. His tank top
barely covered her upper thighs and she knew it was riding up even further as
she crossed the room to sit next to him on the bed.

He ran his fingers lightly down her face then softly traced his
thumb over her bottom lip. He inhaled sharply when she kissed it, flicking her
tongue against it before drawing the tip of it into her mouth.

“Damn, Destiny,” he murmured throatily, surprise lacing his voice.

She grinned and took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his,
watching him as she trailed it slowly, deliberately from her lips down her chin
to the base of her throat, to her collarbone, between her breasts to her navel.
She bit her lip, watching him breathe heavily, his gaze hooded. She didn’t
break eye contact with him when she placed his hand on her thigh before leaning
forward and kissing him, nipping lightly at his bottom lip before flicking her
tongue against the spot.

His breathing was ragged when she straddled him, pushing him down
onto the bed. She was kissing him with abandon, soft sounds escaping her
lips—sounds that belonged to him. There was no hesitation tonight. She
knew what she wanted. She wanted him.

She urgently pressed her lips into his neck, kissing and licking
where she found skin, stretching herself over his body. He grabbed at her
waist, pulling her tighter to him, releasing a throaty moan at the feel of her
pressed intimately against him. She moaned and rubbed herself against him,
kissing him deeply again. They were both panting when he pushed his hand under
her tank top, trailing his fingers lightly up the side of her rib cage to the
underside of her breast before pulling his hand away and smoothing her tank top
back down.

“You don’t have to hold back, Brian,” she murmured breathily
against his mouth. “I don’t want you to hold back.”

She nipped at his bottom lip again and he moaned throatily,
flipping her onto her back. He hovered over her, balancing his weight on his arms
as he looked down into her eyes.

“I don’t want to push you, baby,” he said, his voice deep. “We can
stay right here, okay? I’m really, really good with this.”

He grinned crookedly at her, and trailed a finger from her full
lips all the way down to her hips.

“You’re not pushing me,” she whispered, feeling a bit desperate
under his touch, as she ran her hands up his biceps, gathering courage. “I want
you to make love to me.”

His breath hitched and he paused, soaking in her features as her
face flushed.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that?” he
admitted. “How many ways I’ve imagined you saying it?”

She smiled up at him before arching her hips against him
impatiently. He leaned down and kissed her hungrily, and she wound her arms
around his neck pulling him closer as she arched up again. Finally, he dropped
his weight onto her, pressing into her intimately. He ran his hand up the
softness of her thigh, his fingers trailing along her panty line.

Her breath immediately hitched at his touch, at his heaviness on
top of her and she felt the unwanted coldness invading her belly, but swallowed
it down, closing her eyes. She wouldn’t freak out again. She wouldn’t.

“Are you okay, love?” he asked, reading her expression, staring
down at her with concern. He pushed himself up again, hovering over.

She nodded quickly, trying to pull him back down. She wanted this.
She could push through it.

“We can slow down,” he said, still studying her. “We don’t have to
do anything tonight, okay? This is as far as we’ll go.”

“No,” she countered immediately, shaking her head, trying to pull
him down again. “I want this. Really. I want you, Brian.”

She looked up at him pleadingly and bit her lip. He lowered
himself slowly onto her again, and she felt him hard against her. Her stomach
rolled again as memories flashed and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm
her breathing.

“You’re not okay,” he breathed. He rolled off of her and she
opened her eyes.

“Don’t stop,” she said quickly.

He pushed himself onto his elbow, looking down at her.

“It’s alright, baby,” he murmured, his eyes worried. “I’m good
with just being here with you.”

She sighed, frustrated. “I don’t want you to stop though. I don’t
want this to be like this. I really do want to be with you, Brian.”

He leaned over and kissed her lips. “And you will be.”

“I mean now,” she glared at him, pushing out a breath. She sat up
and ran her fingers through her hair. “I can push through it and it’ll be
okay.”

He sat up, looking at her. “I don’t want you having to push
through anything when we’re together. You shouldn’t have to do that, baby. When
it happens, I need to know you’re here with me, feeling like I am. I told you
we don’t need to rush anything. Because trust me, I want to take my time with
you.”

She looked away, tears pricking at her eyes. “I just want to feel
normal with you. It’s so frustrating to want you as much as I do and then
freeze up. I feel like I’m disappointing you. I know you’ll say I’m not, but… I
can’t help feeling like that.”

She shook her head.

“Hey,” he said, pressing his lips to her bare shoulder. She looked
over at him. “I love you. I love you, Destiny. Do you know how it feels just to
be here with you now?
 
To finally be
able to kiss this mole right here?” He kissed the space between her collarbone
and her neck. “I’ve wanted to kiss that mole for a really long time.”

He kissed her chin, then the dent below her bottom lip. He met her
eyes. He was staring through her again and
her
breathing automatically increased.

“When I told you I wondered about whether or not something was
wrong with me because that’s how much I think about you, I wasn’t lying. You’re
my thought in between thoughts.” He paused, looking at her. “You’re the reason
I’m in Miami.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to breathe.

“Nothing about you is a disappointment, so don’t say that again.”

She slowly released the breath she’d been holding. “I thought you
came to Miami for a job.”

“I could’ve gotten a job anywhere. I’m the shit, remember?”

He grinned playfully at her before rolling onto his back. “Hell, I
could’ve stayed where I was. I needed to be near you.”

He turned his head to look at her. She stared down at him, biting
her lip.

“That’s a lot of pressure, Brian,” she breathed anxiously.

He chuckled and ran a hand over his head. “I’m not asking you to
be my wife or anything, cutie pie... yet,” he replied easily, winking at her
petrified expression.
 
“So, don’t go
getting any weirder than you already are.”

“Stop calling me weird,” she laughed, pushing at his shoulder. He
grabbed her and dragged her down next to him, trapping her beneath him.

“I’m hungry, you hungry?” He pecked her lips. “I think we should
order pizza.” He kissed her lips again then pushed himself off of the bed, and
grabbed his phone off the nightstand. She sighed and got up to turn on the
bedroom light.

Chapter 22

“Okay, Rihanna or Beyoncé?”

Destiny took a sip of her lemonade and waited for him to
answer.
 
At her suggestion they were
playing what she’d brilliantly dubbed The Question Game back in middle school.
He was lounging with his back against the headboard and he turned to look at
her.

“Destiny Michaels,” he answered quickly. “She’s sexy as hell.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing. “You can’t keep saying my name
whenever I ask you a question. Okay, if you had to pick a cougar, would it be
Sade or Halle Berry?”

“Sade,” he sighed, eyeing her.
 
“And it’s my turn. Would you rather lose
your pinky toe or your big toe?”

She burst into giggles and sat her glass on the nightstand next to
her.

“That’s a stupid question. That’s not even how the game goes.”

He grinned, closing his eyes. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you there’s
no such thing as a stupid question?”

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that’s a lie?”

He chuckled. “Whatever. The point is, I’m not interested in
hearing who you think is sexy. Sorry.”

He didn’t sound sorry at all and she sighed dramatically, her eyes
falling on the sky picture that was hanging above her desk.

“You’re sleepy, huh?” she asked unnecessarily, turning to peer at
him.

He nodded, still not opening his eyes.

“It is like, two in the morning, love,” he replied.
 

“You said you have tomorrow off though,” she whined.

“That doesn’t mean I want to stay up all night with you answering
questions about celebrities I don’t care that much about and will probably
never meet,” he countered, barely opening his eyes.

She slapped at his shoulder, giggling. “Fine,” she sighed again.

She leaned over and flicked off the lamp.

“Stop pouting,” he said, pulling her down and pinning her beneath
his arms. He rolled her over so that she was facing him and slapped her butt
lightly, causing her to yelp.

“Goodnight,” he said, kissing her nose.

She squirmed closer to him, throwing her leg over his hip,
tangling them together. He wrapped her in his arms and she was sleep within
just a few minutes.

 
* * *

She didn’t know what time it was when she rolled over but she knew
it was still the middle of the night. Her legs were still tangled with Brian’s
and he was sleeping peacefully on his back, his arm bent behind his head, the
other across his bare chest.

She scooted even closer to him, laying her head on his chest,
tracing the outline of his tattoo with her finger. She was barely awake but felt
arousal stirring in the pit of her stomach. She inched closer, this time moving
her head to press her lips to his neck. Without really thinking about what she
was doing trailed her fingers down his chest to the waistband of his boxers.

He stirred against her, automatically pulling her closer to him.
Her brain was still foggy, still not completely free from sleep but the
yearning in the pit of her stomach was overpowering and she trailed her hand a
bit lower. He jerked automatically, placing his hand on top of hers, moving it
back up to his stomach.

“What are you doing, baby?” he murmured, his voice still heavy
with sleep.

But she knew he was aroused too, there wasn’t any denying it.
Delirious with sleep, or the emotion of the past day, or just him, she pushed
herself on top of him, planting kisses into his neck. The sound of their
breathing mingled with the nighttime noises of the apartment. He wrapped his
arms around her, sliding them down to her hips, pulling her tighter against
him.

She wasn’t sleeping in boxers tonight and she quickly pushed her
panties down, wriggling out of them before he had time to stop her, before she
had time to think. She just wanted to feel him.

His breathing was audible now and she kissed him hungrily, sliding
herself against him intimately. She unexpectedly moaned aloud at the feel of
him through the thin material of his boxers. She moved her hips rhythmically
against him again, desperate for the feel of him. He pulled at her hips and
pushed up to meet her, breathing heavily, as he nipped her chin. She was
whimpering softly now, the friction she was creating with her movements was too
much.
 
He groaned throatily and
suddenly flipped her onto her back. He stared down at her, his chest rising and
falling in quick spurts.

“Hi.” His voice was heavy, still laced with sleep as he hovered
over her. The moonlight was glowing dimly through the blinds, lining his face
with its pattern.

She arched against him, wrapping her legs around his hips.

“Hi,” she breathed, restlessly.

This time there wasn’t any fear or anxiety or overthinking. She
quickly pushed down his boxers and he kicked out of them, flinging them
somewhere into the darkness. Then she shrugged out of her tank top. His breath
caught and he took his time looking at her, soaking her in. She squirmed
beneath his gaze, but didn’t look away. It was the first time anyone had ever
seen her completely naked, and she was glad that it was him that was seeing
her.

“If you knew how beautiful you were you’d probably never put on
clothes,” he murmured.

She smiled, heat spreading from the top of her head to the very
tip of her toes. He ran his hand slowly down the side of her face, down the
side of her neck, over her shoulder, leaving a trail of heat where his fingers
grazed her skin. She shifted beneath him, her gaze hooded as he ran his hand
down the side of her breast to the top of her thigh.

He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, like it was the first
time, like he’d never tasted her before. She reached up and wound her arms
around his neck, running her fingers over the back of his head, drinking him
in. The kiss went from slow and sweet to passionate and eager after a few long
seconds and she arched against him again, silently telling him what she wanted.
He pulled back and stared down at her.

“Are you sure?” he managed, breathing heavily. He kissed the
corner of her mouth.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He leaned over and reached onto her nightstand, grabbing his
wallet and pulled out a condom. A few seconds later he was over her again,
bracing himself on his hands; his lips pressed against hers as he inhaled
against her mouth. She arched against him again, trying to pull him to her. He
hesitated and she could feel him struggling against her.
 

“I want you, Brian. Now. I want everything. All of you.”

His resolve broke and he kissed her as she reached up and grabbed
him, pulling him onto her fully as he finally pressed into her gently. The ice
pierced her stomach tightly at first and she tensed slightly, but forced
herself to relax as she looked up into his eyes. The love she saw there melted
it away.

Her breath hitched and she released it gradually while he slowly
inched into her, watching her the entire time, his eyes dark under the light
that was seeping in through the cracks of her closed blinds.

She closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip as he filled her. The
feeling was different, almost overwhelming and she looked up at him for
reassurance. He was staring at her like she was some kind of rare jewel that
he’d finally found and possessed. His nose brushed against hers and he held
himself still, allowing her to adjust to him. His breathing was clipped and she
knew enough to know he was trying really hard not to move.

“Are you with me, love?” he breathed. “I’m not hurting you?”

Her lips parted and she inhaled. She nodded then shook her head.

“I’m with you,” she reassured him breathily.

He kissed her bottom lip then rocked slowly against her, still not
breaking eye contact. She ran her hands up his biceps, wrapping her arms around
his neck. He moaned throatily, still breathing against her mouth, inhaling her.

“Destiny…”

He rocked against her again, biting his lip.

“You feel so much better than my imagination,” he murmured, his
voice tight.
 
He struck a gentle
rhythm, plucking kisses from her lips as he moved and she felt herself
slipping, falling completely into him.

“Brian,” she whispered his name like a caress, squeezing her eyes
shut at the sensation of being completely engulfed by him. She was his, in
every way that mattered. She was lost in him but found.

“I love you,” he whispered against her mouth.

She wrapped her legs around him tighter, starting to match the
languid pace he set, losing then finding herself in his every touch.