Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (11 page)

“Never felt better,” I said. “How are you?”

He laughed, and I felt like it was the best sound I’d ever heard. I must have passed out after that, from sheer exhaustion. The next thing I knew I was waking up in my own bed and someone was making coffee. It smelled like heaven.

I walked across the hall into the bathroom. I felt like death warmed over. My head ached, as did pretty much every muscle in my body, along with what felt like my internal organs. To add to that, the memory of the Dark scratching around inside my body made me want to gag whenever I thought of it. My dreams had been eerie and uneasy, but I couldn’t grasp any particular image. All that remained was an itch inside me that made me want to claw at myself, but that might have been from real life rather than the dreams. I pushed back all thoughts of the dead man killed with my gun and shot by my hand. I couldn’t think of Philip Morales right now. I would do that later.

My mouth tasted like something rotten and I brushed my teeth to get rid of the cloying taste. Then I brushed again. When I looked in the mirror my eyes looked almost like someone had blacked them and my skin was sickly pale. I needed water. My mouth was dry and my lips were cracking. I put my mouth down to the tap and drank until I couldn’t anymore. I splashed my face and went out to find the coffee.

I expected Gage, but found Eli. He was sitting at the table reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. It was like he’d never left.

“Morning,” I croaked, grabbing a cup.

“Afternoon, actually,” he said. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks, Eli. Appreciate that.”

“If I don’t tell you, who will?”

I sat down and sipped. “Is Bobby here?”

“Just left. Said something about a guy named Sam.”

“He went to the Deep Blue Sea without me?” I said, sitting up.

“You have been sleeping for two days, Niki. The guy was going nuts waiting for you to wake up. He was worried as hell about you.”

“Two days? Seriously?”

“Yeah. Bobby woke up yesterday around noon.”

“Have you been here this whole time?” I said.

He shrugged and looked back down at the paper. “I might have been in and out.” He looked at me. “Well, I couldn’t just leave you, Nik,” he said. “Goddamn, you scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry,” I said, smiling through a wave of nausea. I swallowed down bile.

“I went to see Sofi,” he said, changing the subject.

“You didn’t tell her about any of this, did you?” I said. The scalding hot coffee was burning down my throat, but the pain momentarily made me forget about the itching. That itch just wasn’t going away.

“No,” he said. “Course not. I told her you had the flu.”

“I bet she was happy to see you,” I said. “She misses you. Talks about you sometimes, you know.”

“Do you?” he said.

“Talk about you?”

“Do you miss me? Do you miss us?”

“Eli, I’m really tired,” I said. “I need to drink this coffee.”

“It’s just that I heard the damnedest thing,” he said. He was being too nonchalant to be serious. He knew something.

“Did you?” I said flatly. I took a long, searing drink of coffee. Maybe I could burn this taste out of my mouth.

“See, that guy that you said you cheated on me with, you know, over and over again over the course of our relationship?”

“What about him?”

“What was his name? I always forget.”

“Dex,” I said. “Dex Lincoln.”

“That’s the guy,” said Eli. He was looking awfully smug. I braced myself. “I ran into him a couple of months ago.”

“Did you? I didn’t know he was still in town.” I buried my face in my coffee cup.

“Oh, so you’re not seeing each other any more? That’s a shame. You were such a cute couple.”

“What are you getting at, Eli?” I said, setting my cup down. “Just say it.”

“You never slept with him,” he said. “He said he hit on you and you punched him in the face. Whole time I talked to him he was worried you were with me. Guy had to get his nose fixed at the ER.”

“Maybe he was lying,” I said. But I couldn’t meet his eyes. I felt him staring at me, though.

“Niki, will you look at me?” I did. Right into those gray eyes. That’s what had attracted me to Eli in the first place. His eyes. “Why’d you lie, Nik?”

I took a breath and let it out. “It wasn’t what you think,” I said.

“I don’t know what to think,” he said, leaning back in his chair. He shook his head. “If you didn’t want to be together, why didn’t you just tell me? Why all the lies?”

“It’s not that,” I said. “I told you it’s not what you think.”

“Then what?” He stood up and started pacing. “This has been the worst year of my life, Niki. I lost you and ever since it’s been a downward spiral of shit. And it hasn’t been pretty for you either. So for once, please, just tell me why.” He sat down again and looked right into my face. It was like I was hurting him all over again.

“Can I take some aspirin first?” I said. “Please. I’m sore all over.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, of course.” He got up and grabbed a bottle off the top of the fridge and set it in front of me. I swallowed three with my coffee.

“Eli,” I said. “I didn’t cheat on you.”

“I think we’ve covered that,” he said. His voice was taut, like he was close to losing it and screaming like a crazy person.

“I wasn’t finished,” I said. He gestured for me to continue. “I lied to protect you,” I said after a long pause. “From me.”

“What are you talking about?” he said. “We were happy. I thought we were happy. Was that a lie, too?”

“No,” I said. “I was happier than I’ve ever been when we were together, Eli. I think that’s why this year’s been so hard. Because I remember what happy was like.” I felt a tingling behind my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of Eli. “But,” I said. “I knew you were about to find out. About me, who I was.” I shrugged. “What I am. What I’ve always been. I’m an Abnormal and you’re a Normal. You had a good job, you were moving up at the Department. I thought I should break it off before I was arrested. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when. So I lied to you. It hurt me so much to do it, Eli,” I said. “You don’t know how hard it was for me to do that.”

Eli rubbed his forehead with his hand. He had his eyes closed and his face was strained. He ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry, Eli, but time was running out. I had to make a choice.”

Eli suddenly stood up, the chair clattering to the ground. He put his palms on the table and leaned over. “It wasn’t your choice to make!” he shouted. He turned and kicked the chair, the noise making me jump.

“Look, Eli,” I said. “I know you’re upset. You have every right to be. But things are the way they are. You’d be fired and in the same position I was in a few days ago if we’d stayed together.”

He glared at me, then took a breath, composing himself. He picked up the chair and sat down. I could see that controlling himself was very difficult right now, but he was making every effort. “Niki,” he said in a quiet voice, sitting right next to me. “What you did, it was selfish.”

“Selfish?” I said. “It was not selfish. If anything I was selfless. It hurt me too, but I had to do it. Don’t you understand that?”

“Niki,” he said again. “I wasn’t finished. It was selfless, perhaps, from your point of view. Maybe. Though you really should examine your moral compass.” I clenched my jaw, but let him continue. “But, if you had all the information, you might agree with me. You were selfish, and we’re both suffering for it.”

“Okay, Eli,” I said. “What is this valuable information that you seem to have?”

“Give me your hands,” he said.

“No,” I said.

“Just give me your damn hands,” he said.

“Just tell me.”

He grabbed my hands, and, after a struggle that involved me spilling lukewarm coffee all over myself, he thrust my hands onto the top of his head.

“What are you doing?” I said. “Are you a crazy person?”

“Feel it,” he said. “Just stop being yourself and listen to me. Feel.”

I stopped struggling and felt the top of his head. My eyes widened, my jaw dropped. “Are those—”

“Yes,” he said, letting go of my wrists. “They’re getting bigger every day.” But I didn’t take my hands away. I explored the top of Eli’s head with my fingers delicately. Because out of the top of my ex-boyfriend’s head, there sprung two points rising out of his skull. Eli had horns.

I took my hands away. “What does this mean?” I said.

“It means that I’m an Abnormal, too,” he said. “It means my time in the Department is limited, and if Perry finds out he’ll probably put me on trial and put me on the Registry.”

He wasn’t looking at me any more. He was looking at his hands. “There’s something I didn’t tell you,” he said. “Something I tried to tell you, but I always stopped.” He gave a short dry laugh. “I thought if I told you you’d leave me. Turns out, if I’d told you, you might have stayed.”

“What is it?” I said. I felt sick.

“You know how I always thought my mom was crazy?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” he said, “I didn’t really think my mom was crazy. But I wanted you to think she was crazy. Just in case she told you.”

“Told me what?”

“Who my dad was,” he said. He finally looked up at me. “My dad was a demon, Nik.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Oh?” Eli said. “That’s all you can say?”

“What do you want me to say, Eli?” I said.

“Well, say something,” he said. “You’re Niki Slobodian. You never have nothing to say.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. I couldn’t stand the itch. It was like a scab healing that itched like hell, but you couldn’t scratch. Only it was my insides. I was barely holding it together.

He nodded. “I’m sorry too, Nik,” he said. “I should have told you.”

I stood up. “I have to get dressed.”

He frowned. “Why? Where are you going?”

“We, Eli,” I said. “We are going to the Deep Blue Sea.”

“Right now?”

“Yep,” I said. “I’m supposed to check in after the case is all wrapped up.”

“Niki,” he said. He was looking at the paper in front of him, fidgeting with his cup. “It might be best if you stayed in today,” he said.

“Why?” I said. “What’s going on?”

He lifted the paper up hesitantly, flashing the front page at me. “Hugh Perry is dead, Nik. He was murdered last night.”

I took the paper out of his hands. There was a full-color picture of Perry’s round face staring smugly back at me. The headline read, “Commissioner Murdered in Home.” I skimmed through the article, but it appeared to be about Perry’s crowning achievements. Nothing about how he died. I swallowed, shrugged. “Can’t say I’m sad to see him go,” I said. “He was the biggest jackass I’ve ever known.”

“Don’t you want to know how he died?” Eli said.

“Seems like you want to tell me.”

“No one knows. Completely healthy except for being dead. Medical Examiner’s checking him out. But his heart was carved out of his chest afterward.”

“Like the judge,” I said.

“Like the judge. Ron’s put me in charge of the case. I was hoping you’d help me out on this one.”

“Why?” I said. “Because you think Alexei Slobodian was involved?”

“No,” he said. “Because I have no idea what the hell I’m dealing with here. It’s your cup of tea. This magic stuff is way over my head. Besides, your dad’s locked up, remember?”

“I don’t know, Eli,” I said. “I had a history with Perry. The case is way too visible, too political. If my face is out there again with Perry, people are going to start making associations. Perry was murdered by an Abnormal. I’m an Abnormal. People are probably going to think that I did it. “

“People already think that,” he said.

“Why?” I said. “Because Perry built a career out of demonizing me? That’s bullshit. Anyway, aren’t you and Gage my alibi?”

“That doesn’t mean anything to these people, and you know it,” said Eli. “That judge? It was Evelyn Shandler.”

“Shandler,” I said. “She was the prosecutor that put Sasha away. Built a whole career on it.”

“Yep,” said Eli. “And Perry led the attack on the Abnormals in the court of public opinion. If not for his press conferences and op-eds, they couldn’t have made an example of you and your father. But now all the people who punished the Slobodians are getting murdered, and it doesn’t look good to the New Government and all. They believe there must be a conspiracy.”

I thought for a moment. “Won’t you get in trouble if I help you?” I said.

“That’s another thing,” he said. “Ron got a call from Mayor Delaney this morning.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Do you know her?”

“No, but she sure has been coming up a lot lately,” I said. “I think she must have a crush on me.”

“She told Ron to do what he had to do to get you in on this investigation. She’s prepared to pay whatever you ask if you’ll work with me.”