Between You & Me (12 page)

You're lying beside me with the play, catching up on the first scene. I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, picturing Lily, excited and nervous. I'm caught up in imagining how I would feel when you reach your arm across my chest—to rub Holly behind her ear. I had completely forgotten she was there, still curled in a ball on the cushion on the windowsill! Not seeing my surprise, you keep your arm across me for another moment, rubbing her tummy. I watch her unfurl under your hand. Turning your attention back to the play, you ask me if I'm ready to read the next scene together. I sit up. The idea now seems somehow embarrassing. It feels more intimidating one on one than it would in front of an entire audience. Audition jitters maybe.

ME

You'll read Bobby?

YOU

I'll
rock
Bobby.

You encouragingly tilt the page toward me as you start reading the next stage direction.

THE PRICE HOUSE. MORNING.

Whistling, Lily skips downstairs into the kitchen, buttoning her dressing gown. Exhilarated, she happily sets about making breakfast. Bobby's head appears around the kitchen door:

BOBBY

How's lover boy?

LILY

Bobby!

She tightens her robe across her chest, self-conscious.

For your information, I had a great time. He was a gentleman—it was a magical evening.

Her mind drifts back to her night, hearing the music, a smile spreading across her face.

And we're going out again on Friday.

Bobby's face falls. He tries to hide his disappointment, and says nothing for a second.

BOBBY

Right. Well. Got to get to work.

Lily looks after him as he closes the door behind him. She is surprised to see him leave, cutting their habitual banter short. The kitchen seems quiet now without him.

I snap the play shut.

ME

We don't need to do this now. I have the whole weekend to prepare.

YOU

Well, now I want to know what happens.

ME

Are you going to audition?

YOU

I was that good?

Silly question, you're not really one for the limelight.

ME

How about set design?

YOU

Or lighting!

You swivel my bedside lamp so it shines in my eyes and I squint, dazzled by the bulb, but still giving you my best redcarpet face.

ME

Definitely lighting!

Laughing, I push the lamp away, startling Holly, who jumps up and darts out the door.

ME

Think I'll make a good actress?

YOU

The best!

I smile. We sit in silence for a few minutes and I tip my cup to let the dregs of my hot chocolate slide down the side. These are the best evenings. I catch sight of the play and feel a pang of excitement. The clock on the landing strikes nine as I'm caught up in a renewed desire to make sure I get this part.

ME

Then there's work to do.

YOU

I can take a hint!

You roll off the bed and pick up your sweater.

ME

Night, then.

You stop at the door and smile—

YOU

Night, Lily.

Auditions today, and there are a lot of people here! Crammed into the dressing room backstage, I'm more nervous than I expected, sitting on a makeup table, pulse racing. I've been onstage before. I can do this. There's nervous expectation in the air—maybe it's all mine. Mia comes in and everyone falls quiet.

MIA

Thanks, everyone, for coming. Just give it your best and commit to the moment.

She says that like it's her mantra, and then pins up the sheet of paper she's holding. She glances in my direction as she reaches the door. I meet her eyes and know I'm up first.

MIA

The first pair when you're ready.

Less time to get nervous I rationalize as I stand up. Everyone's vying for a look at the list. She's paired me with Zach, a senior. I recognize him from the play last year. I smile in his direction as we head together into the theater.

Standing onstage next to Zach, I look out at the theater, empty except for Mia in the third row. She asks for the first scene. I head upstage, evoking every emotion I've ever felt for a guy, coupled with this strange need I have to please Mia. The theater falls quiet …

… I hear the jazz on the record player, twirl a strand of hair around my finger and smooth it behind my ear. I run my finger over my lower lip, tilting my head to look at my reflection in the mirror. Nerves and excitement pulse through me, sending jitters to the tips of my toes as I smooth my hands down over my skirt. It's here—the night I have always dreamed of, imagined every time I've closed my eyes. It's really going to happen. I'm making finishing touches to my hair and—the bell—he's really here. Am I ready? Taking a last look at my dress, pleased with how it shapes my figure, I dance down the steps to the kitchen and Bobby—trust Bobby to be here! He stares up at me but, realizing that he's seeing me at my best, I don't mind so much. He asks where I'm going and, as I cross to the door, I hide my smile, liking that he wants to know and thinking that maybe I want to tell him. Because tonight I'm going to be the belle of the ball and everyone will be looking …

MIA

Thank you.

Mia smiles. And that's it!

We step down offstage as Kate pushes through the backstage curtain. Paired with Gabe, another senior, she doesn't even seem nervous. Behind the curtain, I let Zach go on ahead and take my time returning to the dressing room. I turn back in the wings and stand quietly for a moment in the dark. I can't see but I can hear Mia's voice and then Kate.
She sounds so real onstage, like herself. She's good—I'm newly intimidated. Before the scene ends I slip quietly away and for the first time entertain the real possibility that it won't be me spending time with Mia.

We're being funneled down the hall with everyone else. Mia said she would post the cast list at lunch. Seeing a cluster of students at the notice board ahead, we speed up and join the cluster like sheep. The list must finally be there. It's all I've thought about. We're on tiptoes at the edge of the pack.

ME

Can you see?

YOU

Not yet.

We shuffle to the front as people peel off to the sides. I can see the top of the board:

CAST LIST

Everyone is still chattering as they mingle into the crowd. Then there is space and when people stop jostling me, I can see names. At the top, it says “Lily.” And beside Lily: Me. Elated, I can't stop smiling. You put your arm around my shoulders and squeeze me to you.

YOU

Congratulations, hotshot.

Yes. I'm a hotshot.

You said we should celebrate, so here we are! If Peele's isn't a celebration, I don't know what is. I floated here on a cloud and you've sweetly kept up with my excitement for the last half hour. I swirl my spoon around in the cup again, and giddily set it back in the saucer.

ME

Can you believe it?

YOU

Yep.

ME

Can you? I can't. I can't believe it.

I knew I
could
get the part, I'm just so relieved it's happened. I take a sip of my tea.

YOU

Jasmine tea. Never seen you get that before.

ME

No?

Today, I'm not sure I even care if you remember when we last came across it. You eye me carefully.

YOU

Nice?

ME

Delish.

YOU

Really?

ME

Yep.

YOU

You don't like it, do you?

ME

Nope. Tastes like a flower bed.

You laugh, shaking your head despairingly.

YOU

Not your cup of tea.

I roll my eyes and give you a token ha-ha before laughing genuinely into my muffin, loving life, but not jasmine tea, and remembering my reason to be happy.