Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (34 page)

“We’re bad for each other,” she answered honestly.

He tipped her face up.
 
His dark eyes glowed.

“Then let me prove how good we can be too.”

TWENTY-NINE

Maddie woke up sprawled on her stomach, with her cheek pressed against something very hard and her legs pinned to the mattress by something heavy.
 
She blinked her eyes a few times and found that she’d been using Caleb’s chest as a pillow.
 
He was still sleeping soundly next to her, his dark eyelashes fanning out over the tops of his cheeks.
 
One arm, which had to be numb by now, was tucked underneath her and the other was looped over his head, knuckles brushing the headboard.

Maddie watched him for a moment, feeling more rested than she had all week.
 
The nausea, however, crept up on her.
 
The morning sickness had started a few days ago, the same time as her doctors appointment.
 
If throwing up in the bathroom, mid-appointment, wasn’t an indicator of pregnancy, she didn’t know what was.

Bile rose in her throat and Maddie shot off the bed, jostling Caleb in her scramble.
 
Thankfully, she made it to the toilet in time, but embarrassment mounted when she heard heavy footsteps behind her, Caleb’s presence filling the small bathroom.

Maddie moaned, cheeks red, into the toilet once her heaving slowed.
 
A tissue was thrust into her line of vision and she took it, wiping her mouth, before flushing.

“This situation seems familiar,” Caleb noted, his voice gruff with sleep.

Maddie realized he was referring to the time when he’d been drunk and she felt a little less embarrassed.

“I guess we’re even,” she murmured, avoiding his eyes as she brushed her teeth.
 
She was all too aware of his intent stare and the way he crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorway.
 
He was still dressed in his jeans from the previous night and his hair was deliciously ruffled.

She still wasn’t sure how he’d managed to weasel his way into her bed last night—not that anything happened between them—but after Caleb bought her enough food at a local restaurant to feed a small town, she’d been too sleepy to even argue with him when he informed her that he was staying the night.
 
He’d spewed something along the lines of, “I just want to make sure you sleep tonight.”

The moment Maddie’s head hit the pillow of her soft bed, the world melted away.
 
The next thing she knew, she was entwined with Caleb’s body and it was morning.
 
She almost resented how refreshed she felt.

“What time is it?” she murmured, splashing her face with water.
 
It felt unbelievably odd to have him in her tiny apartment, especially since she hadn’t seen him since November, this man who she thought about more than she wanted to.

“Almost nine,” was his response.

“Nine!” she exclaimed, finally turning to face him.
 
“I’ve been asleep for over twelve hours.”

“You obviously needed the rest,” he said, those obsidian eyes scanning her face.
 
His mouth was turned down into a disapproving frown, telling her that he was still displeased about the way she’d been taking care of herself.

She sighed, not even bothering to argue, and soaked in his sleepy face, wondering when—or if—she’d ever see it again this way.

If he has anything to do with it, then I’ll be seeing it almost every morning
, she thought, frowning.

“About last night,” she began.
 
“You can’t possibly still think that moving in together is a good idea.
 
Surely you can see now that there’s no need for it, Caleb.
 
And I told you that I’ll keep you in the loop with the pregnancy.
 
And when the baby is born, you—”

“Let me guess, I can see the baby
whenever
I want?
 
We’ll split custody?
 
I can have the baby every other Christmas?
 
Absolutely not,” he grated, his face going dark.
 
“I refuse to be half a parent.”

Her brows drew down.
 
“What are you talking about?”

“I know how this works, princess,” he said, his voice dropping low, body inching towards her until her back was pressed against the bathroom wall.
 
“And I won’t do it.”

Maddie swallowed, staring at him.
 
She wasn’t afraid of him.
 
Quite the opposite actually, even when he was trying to intimidate her.

He’d never spoken of his parents.
 
Maddie figured that even Thomas didn’t know.
 
But there had to be a reason why his uncle took him in and so she opened her mouth and asked, “Is that what your parents did?
 
Were they separated?
 
Divorced?”

He gave a bitter laugh.
 
“You don’t want to ask me about my parents.
 
Because if you do, you’ll never look at me the same.”

“I can’t understand you if you don’t tell me anything about you, Caleb,” she said.
 
“You expect this of me.
 
You expect me to move in with you, to give up my life here, my independence, and yet you offer nothing in return.
 
I
won’t do it.
 
We’ve already been down this road and look where that led us.”

The treacherous part of her mind whispered,
Right back to him, that’s where it led you.

Caleb was silent.
 
His eyes were calculating and it filled her with disappointment.
 
He still believed she would betray him.
 
He still refused to trust her.
 
In his eyes, the baby just upped the stakes of what he had to lose if she ever turned her back on him.

So, she was surprised when he said, “My parents were legally separated until my dad died when I was eight.
 
My dad was a good parent, even if he did drink too much.
 
My mother,” his face tightened, “was more concerned where she would get her next score than her son.
 
She would bring men home and it was only until I was older that I realized she would fuck them for money in the back bedroom, when I was sitting only a few feet away.”
 
Maddie flinched.
 
“I remember being hungry.
 
I remember being scared because her front door lock was broken and she lived in a shitty neighborhood.
 
I went back and forth between them, every Saturday, like clockwork.
 
Saturday was a day that I was either very relieved or full of dread.
 
I lived out of a bag.
 
My friends at school would go home to one house, to a mom who packed them lunches and a father who played catch with them on weekends, and I resented them.
 
Every single one of them.
 
I’ve known hate from an early age, princess, and I know what it’s like to be one part of a jagged,
fucking
broken family and I literally can’t stomach the idea of
my
child going through that too.”

“Caleb,” Maddie whispered, her throat tight and scratchy, her mind reeling from what he’d just told her.
 
Quietly, she said, “You know we wouldn’t treat our child the way your parents treated you.”

“When my dad died, I lived with my mother full-time.
 
For almost a year,” he murmured, staring down at her, yet not seeing her.
 
It was like she hadn’t even spoken.
 
It was like he couldn’t stop now that he started.
 
“And I try not to remember it.
 
I think a part of her must have hated me.
 
But now, I realize it was pure indifference and somehow that hurt even more.
 
She wasn’t present in my life even when I was right in front of her.”
 
His eyes narrowed and then he refocused on her.
 
There was something defiant in his gaze when he told her, “My uncle found her in her bedroom one afternoon.
 
She’d OD’ed sometime in the night and I hadn’t even realized it.”

Shock flooded her body and her hand flew to her mouth to cover a gasp.

“That morning, I got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and walked to school, in the same house where my mother was dead and I didn’t even realize it.
 
And you know what I felt when my uncle picked me up from school that day?
 
I felt
relief
.
 
I felt relief that my mother was gone.”
 
The pain in his eyes was excruciating.
 
“
That
is the ugliest part of me.
 
And now you know.
 
Are you satisfied?”

He seemed upset with himself.
 
Perhaps upset that he’d even told her.
 
Maybe he hadn’t meant to tell her everything, but he had.

Caleb pushed away from her and stalked out of the bathroom, back into her small bedroom and snatched up his keys off the dresser.
 
Maddie was frozen in place but once she realized what he was doing, she followed him quickly.

“Caleb, please don’t leave,” she pleaded, her voice cracking.
 
What he’d told her struck her to the core.
 
“You need to stop running away.
 
One of us is always running away and I don’t want to do it anymore!”

Caleb paused at her bedroom door and turned.
 
His expression was blank, but Maddie could sense his pain, his regret.
 
“You’re asking me to stay after what I just told you?
 
Don’t you have any self-respect?
 
Any sane person would be running.”

She refused to be stung and slowly approached him.
 
“Don’t do that, Caleb.
 
Not again.”

His jaw clenched and he looked away from her, at the carpet, at the walls.
 
Gently, she grasped his face, ignoring his flinch, and tilted it down so he was looking at her.
 
For the first time, she saw how frightened he was and she felt her heart expand in her chest.
 
A part of
her
had been frightened ever since she first encountered him all those months ago because she recognized that this man had the ability to destroy her.
 
Now, looking into his eyes, she saw that she could destroy him as well.

When he’d asked her to move in with him, she hadn’t comprehended what he truly wanted.
 
But after what he’d just revealed to her, now she understood.

“You’re asking me for everything, Caleb.
 
Aren’t you?” she whispered.

His eyelids fluttered shut as he allowed her to touch him.
 
He was as still as a statue, his breaths shallow and measured.
 
Unable to help herself, even knowing that she shouldn’t, she brushed her lips across his eyelids, his cheeks, the tip of his nose.

Right before she reached his full lips, she murmured, “Okay.”
 
She sighed, wondering if she was making yet another mistake.
 
“Okay, Caleb…we’ll do this.”

His arms came around her waist when she kissed him.
 
His hot tongue swept inside and she thought he sagged with relief.

“With conditions,” she murmured against him.

Caleb pulled back, wary.
 
“And what are they?”

“We take this slow,” she told him.
 
“I’ll move in with you, but I’ll have my own room.
 
And you won’t interfere with my school schedule.
 
I’ll do everything as I normally would until the doctor says otherwise.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding.
 
“Agreed.”

She broke out of his arms when his gaze dropped to her lips.
 
“Speaking of which, I need to get to the library.”

Caleb frowned, but didn’t stop her.
 
“Come by the garage when you’re done.”

“Maybe if you
ask
, I will.”

He paused.
 
“Will you come by once you’re done?”

“Maybe,” she said, not even bothering to hide the teasing note in her tone, trying to lighten the mood.
 
She thought the corner of his mouth quirked up.
 
“My car is still at the garage,” she reminded him, eyeing the keys in his hand.

“Damn, I forgot,” he murmured.

“You mean, something slipped by you?” she asked, smiling, picking out her clothes for the day.

“Where you’re concerned, princess, it seems like a lot does.”

THIRTY

Caleb’s stomach was knotted as he awaited Maddie’s reaction.
 
She entered the empty house quietly, her footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors, as she looked around the front entry way and at what Caleb planned on being the living room just beyond that.
 
It smelled of fresh paint and sawdust.
 
The house had been completed only a month before so Caleb considered himself lucky that his realtor had happened to show it to him.
 
He’d gone into a bidding war with another family, but he’d won out in the end.

The moment he’d stepped into this house, he’d known this was where he wanted to make a fresh start.
 
It was brand new.
 
A clean slate.
 
Something that didn’t connect to his past or his family, something that was just his, something to be molded and changed.
 
He hoped that Maddie would see that as well going into this new stage of their lives.
 
As he watched her take in her surroundings, a foreign feeling rose in him, something that felt like panic and need and affection all rolled into one.
 
And it scared the shit out of him, although he was used to that feeling where Maddie was concerned.
 
She’d swept into his life and it had never been the same since.