Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (9 page)

“You’re rambling, princess,” he snapped, hating how he also filed away that she was a student.

She bit her lip, as though she had to physically stop herself from talking.
 
“Sorry.”

Now, he felt like an asshole.
 
Great.
 
He rose to his feet, hoping that his erection wouldn’t be as visible through his black jeans.
 
“Fine.
 
I’ll set you up,” he said, but his tone sounded impatient.

A few minutes later, he managed to dig out his uncle’s laptop from the office closet.
 
And then he also brought out a spare chair and a foldout table and set up a work space for her near the far end of the office, the furthest away from his own desk.
 
If she noticed, she didn’t comment on it.
 
He was aware that she was watching him work and her gaze felt almost like a touch.
 
He barely refrained from shuddering.

He wasn’t sure if the laptop would even boot up.
 
It hadn’t been used since his uncle had passed away—hell, even before then—so he was surprised when the blue screen flashed on.

“There,” he murmured, wiping away dust from the table with his bare hands and wiping them on his jeans.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.
 
She brushed past him to take a seat.
 
Fists clenching, Caleb did everything possible not to drag her closer.
 
That same fresh, citrus smell permeated his senses, making his mouth water.
 
He wanted to kiss her skin, to bury his face in the crook of her neck, to drown in that scent.

He cleared his throat and stepped away, watching the laptop boot up.
 
An uncomfortable and charged silence stretched between them as she too stared at the screen.
 
When it finally loaded and Caleb saw what the desktop image was, he felt like he’d been kicked in the gut.

It was of him and his uncle on a fishing trip.
 
His uncle had loved to fish; Caleb liked it enough because it made his uncle happy.
 
They were both smiling, holding up their catches of the day, his uncle’s arm wrapped around his shoulders even though Caleb dwarfed him.

The picture was taken shortly after Stella, his aunt, had left.
 
A ball of fury rose up within him whenever he thought of her, a clawing, desperate sensation that made his chest feel like it was on fire.
 
Quickly, he cast his mind away from her, a trick that had served him well over the years.
 
He thought of that day to refocus his thoughts, how his uncle had been happier than Caleb had seen him in a long time.
 
It had been years before they ever received the diagnosis.
 
No trouble haunted them in this picture.
 
Or, at least, no troubles haunted his uncle.

It took Caleb a few moments to realize that Maddie too was staring at the picture.
 
His first reaction was to slam the screen shut because he didn’t want her knowing anything about his personal life.
 
It would feel like an intrusion.
 
Or an intimacy.
 
And when it came to women, Caleb knew better than to allow either.

“You both look happy,” she commented softly.
 
“Is that your uncle?”

Hot anger began to stir inside him.
 
He reached out and slammed the laptop closed, hard enough to make Maddie jump.
 
She rose from the chair.
 
But it wasn’t fear he saw in her eyes when she turned to face him, but sympathy.
 
Caleb hated that even more.

“Brian told me that he passed away recently,” she said.

Caleb’s lips pressed into a tight line and then he rasped, “You have no fucking right to bring that up.
 
It’s
none
of your business.”

Maddie flinched at the loathing in his voice and brought out a hand to touch his arm.
 
“Caleb, I—”

He tore himself away from her touch, giving her a glare.
 
“Save your fucking sympathy,
princess,
” spitting out the word as though it were poison.
 
His voice rose.
 
“I’ve heard it all.
 
Every combination of words that people think I want to hear.
 
What are you going to say?
 
That you’re ‘sorry for my loss?’
 
That I’ll be ‘in your thoughts and prayers?’
 
That my uncle was a great man and he didn’t deserve to die so soon?
 
Or maybe you’d just go with the classic ‘my condolences?’”

“No, I—,” she started, her eyes beginning to look suspiciously glassy.
 
Good
, Caleb thought bitterly.
 
Something he was finally good at…making women cry.

“You think I want to hear any of it?
 
Especially from someone like you?
 
I don’t even know you!
 
You have no fucking right to feel sorry for me.”

The office was quiet, as though all the air had gone out of the room.
 
Even Brian and Peter were quiet downstairs, no sign of the radio or the clanking of tools on concrete, which had once been something like music to him.

All Caleb could do was stare at the woman in front of him.
 
He told himself to turn away, to not give a fuck about what he’d just said, that it was all true.
 
But for some reason, he just couldn’t tear his gaze away from those big, brown, sad eyes.

Finally, Maddie spoke.
 
In a whisper, she said, “None of them.”

“What?”

“None of them,” she repeated, raising her voice.
 
“I wouldn’t have said any words of sympathy.
 
I know what it’s like to lose someone you love and how much it hurts.
 
People lie when they say time cures all, because it doesn’t cure anything.
 
It just makes it easier to deal with the reality that someone you love is gone and they’re never coming back.
 
It hurts and it always will.”

Caleb swallowed the lump in his throat, but he never broke their gaze.
 
His heart beat erratically and he felt like he couldn’t get enough air or that he was going to be sick, but he never, ever wanted to look away from her.

“I hate those words too, Caleb,” she continued quietly.
 
“And like you, I’ve heard them all.
 
I wasn’t going to say any of them because I know how meaningless they truly are, no matter how well-intentioned.
 
Sometimes all you need is someone to sit silently with you and not say anything at all.
 
Even if they’re a complete stranger.”

The last part came out as a whisper and his brow furrowed.
 
Something nagged at his mind but he couldn’t for the life of him think what it was.
 
So he stood there, like an idiot, which tended to happen to him a lot where Maddie was concerned. The worst sensation of remorse was building in his gut.

Caleb raked a hand through his hair, opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it.
 
Everything he thought to say sounded hollow.

Maddie nodded at him and then her gaze slipped to the door.
 
“I think I’ll head out, after all.
 
You’re right, I can start working on the laptop tomorrow.”

There was another clawing sensation in his chest, but this time, it had nothing to do with his aunt and everything to do with watching her leave.
 
As she collected her purse from the ground and pulled out her ridiculous collection of keychains, he caught her hand in his own.
 
Maddie looked up surprised, but didn’t pull away.
 
Caleb marveled at how soft and small her hand was compared to his, just one more reason why he had no business being with someone like her.
 
They were too different, night and day.
 
She was like paper and he was unrelenting steel.
 
But damn, her hand, her warmth, felt good.

Caleb felt like he should say something, so he went for honesty.
 
Later, he would probably curse this moment and wonder why he even bothered.
 
Right now, however, he felt that he owed her an explanation.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
 
“I have a temper.
 
I say things that I shouldn’t because it’s easier for me to keep people out.
 
I can be mean and I can say ugly things, but don’t for a second think it’s because of you.”

Maddie’s lips parted and he wanted nothing more than to taste those lips.
 
He held himself back and dropped her hand, telling himself that he wouldn’t miss the connection.

Then he had to go and ruin it.
 
“But this doesn’t change anything between us.
 
If you’re looking for something, it won’t be me, all right?
 
I can’t give you that.
 
I’d rather you just come in to work.
 
It makes for a cleaner break.”

Caleb watched as her face dropped and it did strange things to his heart.

“If that’s what you want,” she said quietly after a while, nodding.
 
Instead of relief, Caleb felt unsettled.
 
She gave him one last look.
 
“Goodnight, Caleb.”

Then she left.

NINE

Around 6:45 the next evening, Maddie finally pulled into the parking lot at the garage just as Peter stepped out, a worn backpack slung over his shoulder.

He paused when he saw her and she waved at him, smiling, when she climbed out.
 
“Hi Peter, how was your day?”

“Good,” he murmured shyly.
 
Maddie had never met a shyer teenager, but she thought he was sweet.
 
He had dark hair, dark green eyes, and a lanky build, but she would bet that the boy could eat more than an athlete.
 
Thomas had been much the same way in high school and Maddie had envied him for every dessert and burger he packed away, no added extra fat on him, whereas Maddie could eat a slab of cheese and feel it settle around her hips.

“Heading home?
 
You must’ve had a long day.”

He shrugged, glancing over his shoulder at the garage, and then looked down at his feet, the tips of his ears pink, even in the muted light.

Maddie smiled and then locked up her car.
 
“Well, I’ll let you get home.
 
See you tomorrow!”

He gave a brief wave and then he was off, turning right onto the main street and disappearing in the darkness.
 
When Maddie entered the garage, she asked Brian, “Is he always so shy?”

The older man huffed out a small laugh, digging through a toolbox at his feet.
 
The radio was playing a blues station, an empty Coke bottle sitting next to it on the workbench.

“Yeah, he barely talked when John took him on, but he knows his way ‘round an engine so I guess it didn’t matter much.
 
He’ll warm up to you eventually.
 
Much like our Caleb, he doesn’t trust anyone new.
 
I don’t think it’s very good at home for him either.”

“Really?” Maddie asked, furrowing her brow.
 
“How so?”

Brian shrugged.
 
“Dad’s a drunk from what I hear.
 
His mom doesn’t care much either.
 
So, I let him hang ‘round here after his work’s done.”

The thought of Peter, shy and distrustful, not wanting to go home at the end of the day made her chest ache.
 
Maddie was blessed because she’d loved both of her parents—
still
loved them, even though one wasn’t living—and she knew they’d always loved her.

“He copes.
 
He’s strong, even though he seems a little fragile.
 
Don’t worry your pretty little head about him, sweetie,” Brian said, catching the look of dismay on her features.
 
“He’s a good kid.”

She nodded and then turned to the stairs, thinking about his words as she climbed up towards Caleb’s office.
 
When she reached the top of the metal staircase, she peered inside the open blinds.
 
She could see Caleb and he was on the phone with someone.
 
The deep timber of his voice reached her ears, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying through the door.

Their eyes connected and she took a deep breath, pushing open the door.
 
She closed it quietly behind her, not wanting to disturb him.

“No, I’m not doing any restorations at the moment.
 
I know.
 
Yes.
 
Not for some time.
 
I’m still cleaning up here, but we can try to aim for after the New Year.
 
What model is it?”
 
He typed something into his computer, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder.
 
“The parts would be difficult to get.”

While he was busy, Maddie crossed to the laptop he’d set up for her last night.
 
She turned it on, the start-up noise drawing Caleb’s brief attention before he looked away.
 
Swallowing thickly, she sank into the chair, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen as the desktop loaded.
 
The same background picture was there.
 
Maddie had half expected him to change it after she’d left, given his reaction to it.
 
Now, she looked at it at her leisure.

Maddie guessed it was taken sometime after high school, since his hair was a little longer than the buzz cut he’d sported then.
 
His uncle was a robust man with crystal blue eyes and crow feet extending from the corners.
 
They both looked happy in the photo, fresh from a fishing trip.