Beyond the Breaking Point (21 page)

What Cassidy needed to know was her due date. From her due date she could calculate her conception date. Although she’d been actively trying to get pregnant, she hadn’t gotten to the point where she’d been keeping records. She and Phillip had already been having problems in the sexual arena. She hadn’t needed anything else adding to the pressure and sometimes paranoia she felt about sex with her husband.

Of course, had she been able to see into the future, she’d have kept a chart simply so she could answer that one all-important question: When had she conceived? Then again, if she could have seen what was coming, she wouldn’t be pregnant.

As she showered and dressed for her appointment, Cassidy’s thoughts drifted to Max. He was crazy. The two of them as a couple wouldn’t work, and besides, it was just plain wrong. Max was Phillip’s best friend. It would be like hooking up with Phillip’s brother, if he had one.

Still, the man had a way of making all common sense fly out her head the minute he touched her. If Max only knew how close she’d been to giving in…

She shuddered.

Stop it
!
You know how the game is played. Don’t do this to yourself! First you start thinking about him all the time. Then you want to be with him. Find excuses to see him, talk to him. You’ll start inviting him over, or going to his house. Next thing you know you’re in bed with him and saying, “I don’t know how this happened.” Sure you do. You did it to yourself
.
You keep your thoughts off Max and maybe your hands will follow suit!

After giving herself a strong mental lecture, Cassidy collected her purse and keys and headed for the door. On her way down to the garage, she called Erika.

Her friend answered on the third ring. “You’re early. I thought I’d at least have to wait until lunch to hear from you.”

“Can you talk?”

“I just dropped Macey off at school so I have a few minutes. How you feeling?”

“Better. I had a long talk with Max and—”

“Max? Why’d you talk to Max when you had me?” Erika asked sharply. “When you left last night you said you’d be fine after you got a little rest.”

Underneath the sharpness of Erika’s tone, Cassidy heard hurt. Damn. She dug deep and gave her friend the truth she deserved. “I’m sorry, Erika. The truth is, I didn’t think you’d understand what I—”

“
What
!”

Cassidy winced. “Before you jump on me, let me explain. You know I don’t believe in abortion, but last night I seriously considered it. I was angry, scared, and the last thing I wanted in the world at that moment was to be pregnant. Look at me. I’m in the middle of a divorce and because of my stupidity, I don’t even know who the father is. I just wanted it all to go away. I see you with Macey, how great a mom you are and remember how happy you were while you were pregnant and thought, ‘I can’t tell Erika how I really feel. She’d be horrified and never, ever in a million years understand. Even if she says she does.’ So I ran to Max and had a complete meltdown with the only person I thought who might relate to how I was feeling.”

“Cassidy, you goon. You should have
told
me.
I
wouldn’t understand? That’s got to be the joke of the century.” She laughed. “Honey, when I first found out I was pregnant, I freaked. I was unmarried, in medical school, barely getting by and worse, I had no idea how Dave would feel about my pregnancy. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I couldn’t think of it as a child, just a major inconvenience. I considered abortion. Dave and I even discussed it, but he said no and talked me out of it. He asked me to have the baby and marry him. While I knew I loved him, I wasn’t ready to get married and raise a family, but he kept at me until I agreed. Now that we have Macey I couldn’t imagine life without her. Yes, it was a sacrifice. I’d wanted to be a surgeon. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Well, that went out the window but being pregnant with Macey was such an experience, and then when she was born…I was fascinated by how rapidly she developed. That’s what sent me into pediatrics. So it all worked out and that’s what I’m saying to you. It will all work out. Just give it time.”

“I never knew that about you,” Cassidy admitted.

“We met after all this happened and it never came up. So, what did Max say?”

Cassidy groaned. “I didn’t mention abortion. After I left you I drove around for hours, not wanting to go home in case Phillip was there, but unable to think of anywhere else to be. By the time I reached Max’s, I’d already made up my mind to keep the baby. Still, I wasn’t any less freaked with my decision. Erika, Max is convinced the baby is his and he wants it. And he doesn’t just want his parental rights; he wants us to raise the baby together as a couple. What the hell am I going to do?”

Erika whistled. “Wow, Cassidy, when you screw up, you do it big.”

“I know,” Cassidy wailed.

“I’m just teasing you. This mess isn’t your fault.” She was quiet for a minute. Cassidy could hear her car radio playing something cheerful in the background. “What are you going to do about Max?”

“Put my head in the sand and act like he doesn’t exist.”

Erika laughed. “The man I met won’t let you get away with that. You’re going to have to deal with him.”

“I know. Maybe this is all a non-issue. I’m on my way to the doctor now for my initial checkup. Maybe my due date will prove Max isn’t the father,” Cassidy said hopefully.

“Given a choice, would you rather it be Phillip’s?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know.” She sighed heavily. “Honestly, what I want most is not to be a candidate for
The Maury Povich
show.”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. You aren’t the first woman to question the paternity of her child and you won’t be the last,” Erika consoled.

“Yes, but I’m married. I can only imagine what my family will say.” Cassidy grimaced at the unhappy thought.

“Just keep reminding them of the cause of all this. If Phillip hadn’t been such a cheating scuzzball, you’d have never hooked up with Max. Who’s an absolute dreamboat, might I add.”

“Erika, not helping.”

“Honey, you need to lighten up. Remember stress isn’t good for the baby.”

“Thank you for the reminder, Dr. Horne,” she said dryly.

“You’re welcome, Dr. Brannon. Seriously though, it’s not the end of the world. When are you telling Phillip?”

“Tonight. I’m going to tell him about the baby and that I filed for divorce.”

“You want a little advice?”

“Sure.”

“Tell him about the divorce first. Then tell him about the baby. You plan to tell him about Max?”

“Depends on what Dr. Manning says. Speaking of which, I’m here at her office. You should be to yours by now.” They’d been talking for a while and Macey’s school wasn’t that far from Erika’s office.

“Oh, I am. I have time. The first patients aren’t scheduled until nine. So what’s the plan? How you going to break the news to him?”

“I had to promise Max to do it somewhere public. He’s afraid Phillip will go crazy and I don’t know, try to kill me or something,” she said wryly.

“That’s not funny and he’s got a point. You have no idea how he’ll react to the news.”

“I know. Believe me, I’ve thought plenty about it. I’ll tell him we need to talk and invite him out to dinner. He’ll probably think I’m ready to agree to counseling, but that can’t be helped. Do you know Max wanted to be there? Can you imagine how horrible that would be? I told him no, of course.”

“I don’t know, Cassidy. Maybe you should reconsider. Yes, it would be uncomfortable for you, but it would also be safer.”

“I think Max being there would only cause Phillip to blow up, not prevent it.”

“It doesn’t matter who is or isn’t there. The man’s not going to be a happy camper either way. Just give it some thought.”

Cassidy sighed. “I will. I promise. I’ve got to go. They’re squeezing me in. I don’t want to be late.”

“Cassidy? Be careful. This is a volatile situation. Don’t become a statistic. If Phillip hurts you I’ll have to kill him, and then who would raise Macey? Do us all a favor and don’t take any foolish chances.”

“Okay.” Cassidy disconnected and shivered as a chill of foreboding ran down her spine. Was she taking a risk? She knew Phillip. He wouldn’t hurt her.

But
a small voice reminded her,
“You never thought he’d do anything to betray his friendship with Max, or have thousands of porn flicks on his computer, or most importantly, ruin his marriage after all he did to save it. How well do you really know Phillip?”

Cassidy pondered the question all during her appointment.

Chapter Twelve

Cassidy left the doctor’s office, still a bit awed. One of her favorite parts of being a doctor was seeing her patient’s expression when they saw their child for the first time. She thought she understood the impact, the sheer wonder they felt at the moment, but she’d been wrong.

It had finally hit her, lying there on the exam table. There was a life growing in her belly. A little being who shared her DNA. For the first time it didn’t matter to her who the father was. This was her child. She was going to be a mother. This child wasn’t an accident or a product of bad timing. He or she was a miracle.

She laid a protective hand over her stomach. “Don’t you worry. Momma’s going to take good care of you.”

An older lady waiting in front of the elevator heard her and smiled. “First child?”

“Yes,” Cassidy confirmed.

“I remember my first pregnancy. Too many young people don’t appreciate the gift of life they’ve been given. I have five children myself. It’s not easy being a mother, but it’s one of the most rewarding challenges we have in this life as women. You treasure that child. Do what’s right by it and when you get to my age, she or he will bring you much joy. I’m a witness.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cassidy said as the elevator arrived and they joined the two men already on it.

Cassidy went down to the first floor and stopped by the pharmacy to fill her prescription for prenatal vitamins and anti-nausea medicine. The last because she’d thrown up again in the doctor’s office. As a doctor she knew morning sickness was a good sign that the pregnancy had taken root. The sicker she was, the less chance for a miscarriage. However, the knowledge wasn’t much comfort when she was puking her guts out.

As she waited for her prescription to be filled, she wondered what kind of father would Phillip be. What values would he teach their children? Would he be a firm disciplinarian or would it be up to her to enforce all the rules? These, she realized suddenly, were things they should have already discussed. Unfortunately, all she’d been worried about at the time was making sure they could financially afford having a child and still maintain their current lifestyle.  

Cassidy glanced at her watch. It was after ten. She pulled out her phone and made a reservation at Maggio’s, a favorite Italian restaurant of hers. The place was small, with a serving capacity of no more than fifty guests at a time. The tables were well-spaced for privacy, the lighting was low and romantic, and the servers were discreet. They’d celebrated the majority of their special events there.

Next, she sent Phillip a text.
Meet me at Maggio’s tonight @ 7. We need to talk
.

Last, she called her attorney. Chris surprised her by answering.

“Chris, this is Cassidy Brannon. Do you have time for me to swing by the office? I took today off.”

“Sure, come on by. I have court, but that’s not until this afternoon. What time should I expect you?”

Right then, the cashier called her name. “Say in a half hour? I’m not too far from your side of town.”

“See you then.”

Thirty-five minutes later, after munching on a snack fruit and yogurt salad from McDonald’s to help with lingering nausea, Cassidy walked into Chris’s office.

Chris came to meet her, holding out her hand. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Hi.” She shook the offered hand. “I know I was just here yesterday but—”

“I’m here for you whenever you need me. Let’s go into the office and have a seat.” Again Chris led her to the seating area.

Once they were seated, Cassidy said, “I took a pregnancy test last night and had it confirmed by my doctor this morning. I’m pregnant, but there’s a…complication.”

“Oh?”

“There’s a possibility Phillip may not be the father.”

“I see.”

Cassidy felt the need to explain, to justify her actions. “That night in Orlando…I didn’t tell you everything that happened. Max and I left and checked into a hotel until we could catch a flight home. He came to my room with pizza and a bottle of bourbon. We hadn’t eaten, you see. Max intended to get drunk. I was angry enough to join him, even though I’m normally not a drinker. One thing led to another and…we ended up having unprotected sex,” she finished lamely.

“And now he could potentially be the biological father?”

“Yes,” Cassidy confirmed, relieved at the nonjudgmental way Chris was handling things.

“Is he aware of the pregnancy?”

“I told him last night. We discussed the possibility the morning after and he made it known then that if I were pregnant, he intended to claim his parental rights.”

“I see,” Chris said again. She was quiet, obviously thinking things through. “Cassidy, I want you to trust me.”

Warily, she said, “Okay.”

“I know you want this divorce to be as amicable as possible between you and Phillip and to that end, you tried to be as fair as you could with the division of property. I want that for you too, but I also want to be prepared to fight if things go south. I need you to tell me everything that happened, what was said, what you did, and how you found out the first time your husband was unfaithful. I need the names and contact numbers of all involved in this second incident.” Chris must have seen the protest in her expression. “I know you don’t want to involve them and I’ll only use the information if I need to, but it’s better to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.”

Since that was her motto as a doctor, Cassidy couldn’t fault Chris’s approach. She gave her everything she asked for, and even included the information about Phillip’s extensive pornography collection on the computer and how she’d discovered it.