Beyond the Breaking Point (52 page)

Nell wouldn’t hear of Cassidy checking into a hotel, so she spent the night in the guestroom. She rose when she heard Nell moving about the house as she prepared for work. After sharing a small breakfast at her mother-in-law’s insistence, Cassidy pointed her vehicle west on I-76 and drove the four and a half hours to Pittsburg to visit her parents.

She spent the early portion of the day visiting with her paternal grandmother who lived in an assisted living facility for the elderly. Nana suffered from senility, but fortunately, Cassidy had caught her on a good day and they’d spent a long time talking. By the time she and Nana finished sharing an early dinner Cassidy out on the facility’s patio overlooking the garden, her parents were home from work.

After spending the night with her parents, Cassidy left Pittsburg the next morning feeling as though nothing had been resolved with her mother. However, her late-night talk with her father after her mother had gone to bed kept her from feeling angry and wounded, and provided insight into her mother’s unreasonable position.

“Don’t be too upset with your mother,” he’d said as they sat in front of the television watching the late-night news. “You know how she is. She sees things as either black and white, with no in between. ”

“Seems to me that would be all the more reason Mom would support me in this divorce. Adultery is wrong any way you look at it,” Cassidy muttered.

Her father shook his head. “I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m simply saying your mother doesn’t want to see you end up raising a child alone. After all, she married me because she was pregnant with you.”

“But you and Mom loved each other, even then, and you’d never cheat on her,” she protested vehemently.

Her father’s lips quirked in a grin. “Yes, we do. But you have to remember, in our day, getting a divorce and being pregnant out of wedlock were taboo. The stigma may no longer be there but single parenthood is still a hard road to travel.” He sighed and gazed solemnly at her. “Cassidy, Sandra only wants what she thinks is best for you. She loves you.”

“Daddy, I can’t stay married to a man I don’t trust, not even for the sake of this child.”

 “I know, honey. Your mother believes marriage means taking the good with the bad, especially when there are children are involved,” he said as he settled his long, lanky frame deeper into his favorite recliner.  

She nibbled her lower lip as she considered his words. “And you, Daddy? Do you think I’m making a mistake in divorcing Phillip, especially with a baby on the way?” Her father had never chimed in with an opinion, one way or the other. Until now, she’d assumed he agreed with her mother.

“I think,” he began, holding her gaze with his intent one, “that’s a decision only you can make. If your mother wanted to be with other men, I wouldn’t have married her. If I still had a taste for other women, I’d never have asked her to do so. The marriage vows say, “Forsaking all others.” I took my vows seriously. I was taught by my father it’s what a man did. For better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer…the words mean something. Even God divorced his people for adultery. You’re a sensible woman, Cassidy. I don’t believe you made the decision to leave lightly. Whatever you do, you have my love and support.”

They’d talked more, well into the early morning hours. It had helped tremendously getting a mature man’s perspective on both her marriage and Max. Cassidy had always been much closer to her father than her mother. He’d always been her champion when her mother became too demanding, or when the mold her mother tried to force her into became too uncomfortable to bear.

Cassidy drove to Philly, knowing what she had to do.

Max had hours to reflect and regret his jealous outburst with Cassidy. She wouldn’t answer her phone. Every call went straight to voicemail. She was off from work and wasn’t at her apartment. Even Erika hadn’t heard from her. It was like she’d disappeared.

He knew she wasn’t with Phillip because he’d checked. Besides, if Cassidy had run to Phillip, the other man’s attitude would reflect it. Phillip wouldn’t be able to keep from rubbing it in Max’s face. However, Phillip remained as surly and solemn as ever.

Now that Max knew firsthand the pain of losing Cassidy, he could almost…
almost
sympathize with the other man.

Hindsight being twenty-twenty, Max realized he was guilty of the same crime of which he’d condemned Cassidy. Why hadn’t he simply talked to her, explained his fear that his love wouldn’t be enough to keep her and she’d return to her husband? Because doing so would have made him appear weak and needy. Made it seem as though he didn’t trust her. Well, his reticence had certainly blown up in his face, hadn’t it?

Tired, frustrated—and yes, damn it, scared—Max began throwing papers into his briefcase. He couldn’t concentrate worth a damn anyway. Might as well go home.

He was shutting down his computer when the ringtone he’d assigned Cassidy sounded on his cell phone. Max snatched it out of his pocket. “Cassidy! Where the hell have you been? I’ve been out of my mind with worry.” Max closed his eyes and mentally cursed himself.
Way to go, Desalvo. That’s sure to get on her good side.

“I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. I went to my parents,” Cassidy said. There was a tone in her voice he couldn’t identify.

Max sighed. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. About a lot of things. Where are you? Can we talk, face-to-face?”
Please say yes
, he silently ordered. If she didn’t, he wasn’t sure he could restrain himself from going to her anyway.

“That’s why I called. We need to talk. Can you come over?” It wasn’t her words, but their underlying somberness that sent a chill of foreboding down his spine.

“Want me to stop and pick up dinner,” he asked, trying to add an element of normalcy to the conversation.

“No, I’ll see you when you get here.” Before he could say anything else, she hung up.

“Shit,” he cursed with feeling. Time to eat crow.

Max grabbed his briefcase off the desk and his suit jacket from the hook and left. Again that unwanted empathy for Phillip rose. If he was this nervous, this frantic to fix things with Cassidy after being with her less than a month, he could only imagine how the other man had felt after spending years with her.

Phillip had cheated on Cassidy, twice, and had been forgiven. At least he had the first time. Surely she’d forgive Max, whose crime was much less severe. He consoled himself with the thought.

She isn’t married to you or carrying your child
, the sly voice which had gotten him in this mess to begin with whispered. Max ruthlessly told it to shut the hell up.

Though he pushed it, it still took longer than he’d liked to get to Cassidy’s. When he entered the apartment, she was curled up on the lone armchair, a mug of some type of hot liquid in her hand. She didn’t smile.

Feeling like a condemned man coming before the judge for sentencing, he said a quiet, “Hi” as he secured the door and set down his briefcase.

“Hi.” Still no smile of greeting. Her eyes, which usually warmed at the sight of him, remained cautious and guarded.

Max studied her as he crossed the room, looking for some hint of what Cassidy was feeling. She looked…not rested. Nor did she seem particularly peaceful. If he had to pick a word he’d say she appeared resolved. He wasn’t sure what that meant for him.

As he lowered himself to the couch, she spoke. “You asked me some questions the last time we were together. I’d like to answer them.”

“Cassidy, I was wrong,” Max interjected before she could begin. He leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. “I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.”

Her level gaze held his. “Did you mean what you said?”

He felt quicksand gathering under his feet and knew he had to step cautiously. However, he also knew honesty was the only way to go. “The questions, yes. The accusations, no. That was fear and jealousy speaking.”

She seemed to consider his words before nodding abruptly. “I had a long talk with my father last night. I didn’t realize you felt I was shutting you out. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.” Here she paused to frown. “He said instead of shielding you, I should have told you what your mother said and let you handle it as you saw fit. I didn’t want to be the source of more conflict. I’ve brought enough of it into your life.”

Max shut his eyes briefly in disbelief, before pinning Cassidy with a look. “Is that what you think? That you’ve brought problems into my life?”

She lifted one shoulder in a dainty shrug. “I tried to keep you out of Phillip’s and my drama, but you got dragged into it anyway.”

All he could do was stare. The way her mind worked was absolutely fascinating. Infuriating, frustrating, but still fascinating. Abruptly, he decided to hell with it. In a sudden movement he rose, ignoring the way her eyes widened, broadcasting her surprise. He scooped her out of the chair and returned to his seat on the couch with her held firmly in his lap.

“Max—” She gasped, clutching the cup with both hands to keep it from spilling.

He kissed his name off her lips, holding the embrace until she softened in his arms and kissed him back. Only then did the muscles tightening his neck and shoulders relax. She still wanted him. They could work out the rest.

When they parted for air, he took the cup from her and set it to the side. Then rested his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes. “First off, you haven’t brought any problems into my life. Secondly, being with you is a source of great joy. I should have told you that instead of acting like an ass.” Max hoped she could see, feel, and hear his sincerity.

Cassidy shook her head. “I should have considered your feelings in the matter instead of being so focused on my own.”

Annoyed, he placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a small shake. “Everything is not your damned responsibility.”

She closed her eyes and groaned. “Damn, I did it again. Nell said the same thing.”

“Nell?” he said sharply. “Phillip’s mom?” She’d talked to her mother-in-law. As far as he knew, she hadn’t spoken with Nell since before Orlando.

Cassidy nibbled her lower lip, a habit he knew signified either nervousness or guilt. “Yeah. That’s where I went after you stormed out of the house. I spent the night with her and the next morning, drove to Pittsburg to see my folks. I told her about us, and how it was my suggestion that started this whole thing. She reminded me there were two of us in that bed.”