Beyond the Edge (31 page)

He nodded, then sighed. “Well, I gave it my best.”

I didn't know what to say, so I gazed at him, trying to convey how much I cared for him, respected him.

“I still want to fuck you. Once more, before morning. Without the props.”

I nodded.

He came close, circling me in his arms, pulling me to him, and our mouths met again. We kissed with passion and apology and a questioning gentleness.

He fucked me then, like any man fucks another. I was moved by his kindness and care, and the emotion with which he covered me and took me. He showed me another side of him. One that, had I known existed before I'd met Sebastian, might have made me fall in love with him.

But my heart was already taken.

§ § §

I left his home in the darkness of early dawn, shutting the door on any kind of future with him. What had occurred here would have to last me the rest of my life, because I only saw one future before me now…

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

You

When I got home, I had another shower, washing and cleaning myself this time. I wanted to erase all traces of James’ handling of my body. Not because it disgusted me, but because I wanted to present myself to Sebastian, clean, fresh, and un-besmirched by another man's lust.

I cooked up a hearty breakfast of eggs, sausages, and home fries, something I rarely did on my own. My appetite was considerable, after the events of the weekend, and the fact that we had gone to bed without eating. I washed the dishes when I finished and went grocery shopping. I bought all the ingredients for chicken stew with dumplings since I had a hankering to feed my boy delicious comfort food tonight.

After I put the groceries away, I called Sebastian, who answered after the first ring. He must have been waiting for my call.

“Hi,” he said, a little guarded.

“Hello, beautiful.”

“So…how was it?” he asked in a soft voice, perhaps fearing my reply.

“It was intense. But…it's over. I made a clean break with him. I love you. I miss you. And I need you.”

“Oh, Tate…you don't have to do that…” He sounded both happy and sad.

“What do you mean?”

“You don't have to give up everything you love for me.”

I laughed. “I'm not giving up subbing if that's what you mean. But I
am
giving up subbing for James. It’s just too complicated. If I feel the need to sub again I’ll find someone else. I’m sure there are other good Doms in this city.”

“You really told him you weren’t coming back?”

“I really did.”

He laughed. “You’re amazing. I can’t believe you’d choose me over him.”

“Sebastian, my gorgeous, blue-eyed boy. Stop being so humble and get your sweet ass over here. I’m too tired to fuck you but I want you here. We can watch a movie and then I’ll make you dinner.”

“Okay. I can get Carter to drive me. He’s going out anyway.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

§ § §

When I opened the door to Sebastian at about twelve thirty he stood there with his overnight bag and a huge smile on his face.

“I’m sleeping over,” he said.

My eyes drank him in as I held my hand out for his bag. “Your luggage, sir?”

“Why thank you.” He gave me his bag and followed me inside. Once the door closed behind him and I'd put his stuff down on the hall table, he grabbed my wrist, pulling me into his arms. “I missed you…”

I inhaled the smell of him, nuzzling into the blond hair at his nape. “Me too. So much.” I mouthed a trail to his lips, then kissed him properly—tender, sweet, and lingering as he smiled against my mouth.

“I want to hear all about your weekend,” he said.

“Are you sure?” I asked, pulling away and gazing into his deep blue eyes.

“Yeah I'm sure. I'm sure it was super intense and I want to hear all about it. Since I didn't get to see it.”

I nodded. “Okay, okay. You'll blow your wad, though.”

“I'm sure you blew yours.”

I laughed. “You have no idea, Sebastian. You have no idea.”

§ § §

We lay on the couch together, just snuggling, while I told him what had happened to me in James’ home. I just gave him the descriptions, not going into detail on the emotional stuff. He didn’t need to know how much it affected me or how James had made love to me in the early morning hours.

“He dressed you up in women’s clothes?” he said, amazed. “I would have liked to have seen that.”

“I’m kinda glad you didn’t. I looked ridiculous.”

“Whatever. I bet you looked hot.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Sebastian?”

He laughed. “No. I just think you’d look hot in anything pretty much.”

We looked at each other because talking about this made us both hard. My poor dick was raring to go again. I couldn’t believe it.

“You still tired?” he murmured.

“Not really…”

“I want to try something, if you’re game?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

He stood up. “Well, I know you like to be dominated. Why can’t
I
do it?”

I stared at him, surprised. “Well now…”

“I’ve done it before. Remember?”

I did remember. I remembered him flogging me hard in front of James, and nodded.

“You game?” he said again, breathlessly.

I nodded. “But…”

“What?”

“Go easy on me, okay?”

He grinned. “I will this time.”

§ § §

He tied me to my own bed and had his way with me, this blue-eyed blond haired angel that I had only begun to know. He made me tremble and beg, as much as James ever had and worked me firmly but with a gentleness and concern I’d not felt at the other man’s hands. Perhaps not as clean in its execution, but the sincerity of its delivery was profound.

And the things that came from his mouth! I’d not known that Sebastian could speak that way. Instead of calling me “boy” like James would, he called me “baby” or “honey.” It endeared me at the same time that his words aroused me.

“Baby, I’m going to put your cock in my mouth in a minute…it’s gonna taste so good…I’m gonna suck you so hard…” This after teasing me for almost two goddamn lazy hours with his hands and kisses and those long, agile fingers.

I almost sobbed at his words. “Oh my God…please, baby…please…I want your mouth so bad I can’t stand it…let me come…please let me come in your mouth…”

He did and sucked me dry. Then he jerked himself over me, spurting his juice on my chest and face like a born Dom. When he finished he licked it off me, his sweet, warm tongue causing shivers of remnant passion.

We snuggled naked together between the sheets until suppertime.

§ § §

“This is delicious!” Sebastian praised, biting into a biscuit with the same hungry greed he’d demonstrated a few hours earlier. He laughed when the piece he bit off was too big and he had to grab it with his fingers. “Oops.”

“Do you always bite off more than you can chew?” I teased.

He waggled his eyebrows. “I can fit quite a bit in my mouth.”

“Uh huh. I know.”

We laughed and ate our supper, savoring the home cooked goodness and each other’s company like an old married couple. It felt fantastic.

After supper we decided that a lazy viewing of Moulin Rouge was in order. I lolled on the couch again and arranged my boy with his back against me so that I could play with the soft strands of his blond hair while we watched. I guess we were both suckers for over-the-top musicals.

Soon my favorite part came on, namely the scene where the luscious Ewan McGregor sings “Your Song,” to an astonished and bewitched Satine. Before I knew it Sebastian opened his sweet mouth and started singing along. I’d never heard him on his own before, and only a really wonderful voice could compare to Ewan’s. Sebastian had such a voice. Chills moved up and down my spine as he sat up and turned toward me, stroking my cheek with his fingers and staring into my adoring eyes. When the song ended he pressed those beautiful lips to mine and kissed me deeply. Happiness and contentment spread through, warming me from the inside.

§ § §

The next morning at work, I got a phone call from Joanne’s husband, Darrin who told me Joanne had had their baby and I could visit if I wanted. Apparently, Joanne was dying to see me and, quote, the “charming, astonishingly handsome young man you brought to the club.” I laughed, saying I’d be there as soon as I could.

I called Sebastian and gave him the news. He seemed more excited than even me. I made my excuses to my supervisor and headed out for an hour.

Sebastian was waiting for me outside of PetLuv. He grinned from ear to ear and hopped into the car excitedly.

“Which hospital is she at?”

“Civic. You got someone to cover for you?”

“Yep. Well, Amy said to just go, she’ll be fine on her own. It’s not that busy.”

I drove quickly, although there really was no rush, since she’d had the baby already. But for some reason I couldn’t wait to see this beautiful new life my friends had created.

I parked quickly and we made our way to her room. Joanne saw me peeking around the door from where she sat propped up in her hospital bed and beckoned us in.

“Tate! Sebastian! I’m so glad you could come! There’s someone I want to introduce to you…”

She gestured to the clear plastic bassinet beside her where, bundled up in a striped white hospital blanket, lay a gorgeous little creature. The newborn baby looked like a tiny doll, her cheeks pink, her eyelids bluishly translucent where they covered her sleeping eyes, her lips a perfect bow.

“She’s beautiful,” Sebastian murmured, his voice filled with awe.

I turned to Joanne. “She looks like you.”

Joanne laughed. “Thank God. Could you imagine a baby girl that looked like Darrin? Here, pass her to me.”

I stared at her. “What? I can’t pick up that thing…” But Joanne smiled and held her arms out. I watched, enthralled, as Sebastian put the baby into her arms. “Thanks.”

“She looks like porcelain,” Sebastian murmured, gazing down at the tiny creature with undisguised awe.

“Boys, meet Chloe Jane Bathurst,” Joanne said proudly, gazing at her new daughter.

“You used the name!” Sebastian said, pleased.

“It’s a great name. Darrin loves it too.”

“Where
is
the proud father?” I asked.

“He went home to get some stuff. We were here all night. It’s been crazy, but wonderful.” She held the baby out to me. “Here, Tate. I want you to hold her.”

I shook my head, nervous. “No that’s okay…”

Sebastian took the baby from her like a trained wet nurse and placed the delicate little bundle in my reluctant arms. I looked at him, loving him more in this moment than I’d thought possible. The baby felt warm and alive and good in my arms. I held her against me, honored to have the opportunity to be a part of her first day in the world.

“Hey, beautiful Chloe…” I murmured. “Uh, I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but, well, you’re pretty darn sweet. Your mom may seem strange at first but she’s really awesome once you get to know her. Your dad’s pretty cool too. And, uh, that guy over there…” I nodded toward Sebastian, “…who looks like an angel…well, he’s my very special friend and I love him very much. And when you get older, hopefully you’ll find someone as special as he is.” When I finished and looked up, Sebastian and Joanne watched me.

“What?”

“You’ll make a great father someday, Tate,” Joanne said, glancing at Sebastian.

“Um, I’d need a wife.” I joked.

“Or a husband,” Joanne said quietly, daring me to question it.

I blushed, glancing at Sebastian. He was smiling and blushing, staring at me with glistening eyes. He came over, kissed me sweetly on the cheek, and took the baby from me, giving her back to Joanne.

§ § §

On Sunday I went to church with Sebastian again. And as I sat there in the pew, listening to the choir, I thought of that gorgeous baby and how it might be possible someday, if we wanted to, for me and Sebastian to somehow have that. I felt surprised to be thinking this way and wondered as to the likelihood. It didn’t really matter. It just mattered to know it was possible, and that if we could take care of each other there was no reason we couldn’t take care of someone else.

I glanced up at the ceiling of the church, thanking God or whoever might be up there looking down on us for giving me Sebastian. And I let the music of the church lift my soul up high and float me on the wings of song.

I thought of the letter I had received from James in the mailbox accompanied by two discreetly packaged chastity devices and a tube of red lipstick.

“My dear Tate, it has been a pleasure knowing you and introducing you to the intricacies of Dom/sub play at my hands. You are an excellent student and on your way to making an exceptional Dom. I very much regret that circumstances have led to our separation, but I understand and I hope you find what you’re looking for. In the package you will find the devices I purchased specifically for you and Sebastian. They have been cleaned and sterilized. I hope you both enjoy them. The lipstick I have included as a reminder of some special fun we had together, and to let you know that I will not spoil those memories by engaging in a similar way with anyone else. Just know that if you ever wish to come for a session, or even just a cup of coffee and a chat, with me in the future, I would love to see you.

Yours always, James Lucas.”

I felt in my pocket for the lipstick, fondling its smooth case and remembering being dressed like a girl and fucked on the floor of James’ home.

§ § §

I met Sebastian at the stairs talking with his mom and Granny, just like the first time I’d come. He smiled big when he saw me. “Tate! Come here.”

I made my way over to him, saying hello to the ladies.

“Hello, Tate.” Mary beamed at me.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Jo winked.

I winked back at her. “How are you, Jo?”

“Wonderful, thanks.” She turned to Sebastian. “So when are you going to cut the bullshit, Sebastian?”

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “What?”