Big Apple Dreams (18 page)

Chapter Twenty One

I snuggled deeper under the covers, my eyes still closed as I remembered the events that had transpired the night before. It was if I could still feel Evan’s lips brushing over my skin, his fingers intertwining with my own. My skin prickled at the memory of his warm breath washing over me, his skin seeming to melt into my own as we laid together.

It had been more wonderful than anything I could ever imagine. The desire to stay in bed for the rest of forever just thinking about it sounded good to me. I wanted more than that, though—I wanted to have this feeling renewed every day for the rest of my life.

Opening slowly in the darkness, my eyes sought out the clock. It was only three in the morning, practically the middle of the night.

I sighed, rolling over to cuddle back into the arms of my one and only.

His side of the bed was
empty.

Panic seized my chest and I bolted up, holding the blankets around my naked body.

“Evan?”

Only the frantic pounding of my heart answered.

I slid to the edge of the bed, my toes curling into the fabric of my dress, still lying where it fell. Bending at the waist, I reached my hand out, feeling for his shirt he’d let fall to the floor. It was missing, as well.

“Evan?” I called again, standing up and walking towards the door to turn on the lights.

He couldn’t have left. Why would he do that to me, after all we shared?

My fingers felt around the massive amounts of roses that still sat on the desk next to the door, trying to find the switch on the wall behind them. Finally, the lights clicked on and I turned around to look at the scene in front of me.

Evan was definitely not here. As I’d guessed, his shirt was gone from the foot of the bed, as well as his pants that had been thrown on the couch. Only my underwear was still where I’d left it.

Angry and hurt tears formed in my eyes, falling silently as I stood there, looking at the image my broken heart would forever remember.
Eventually, it all became a big blurry mess.

I stumbled back towards the bed, knocking a few vases over along the way, and threw the blankets back onto the mattress.

Lizzy still wasn’t home, a fact I was supremely grateful for. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice told me I need to straighten a few things up and make it look like nothing had happened while she was gone.

Wiping my eyes, I walked around the room and picked up my clothes, hanging the dress up and throwing the bra and panties into the laundry basket. I picked up the vases I’d knocked over, cleaning up the glass from one that had broken.

Finally, I cleaned myself up, washing the invisible turmoil off me the best I could.

My life is becoming one big secret that I’m forced to keep from everyone I know,
I thought as I got dressed in pajamas.

My bed remained the only thing to be put back together, so I pulled the blankets from it again, moving to the head to fluff the pillows.

As I picked up the one I usually cuddled with, I felt something tucked in the backside, inside the cover. Reaching in to see what it was, I discovered a folded up piece of paper that had never been there before.

I tossed the pillow back into its spot and sat down on the edge of the bed, unfolding the curious note as I did so. My heart caught slightly as I realized it was a note from Evan.

Mara~

I am so sorry for what I did to you. It was wrong and I know it. You have to believe me when I say that I never meant for it to happen, I swear. I promise it will never, ever happen again either.

I’m sorry for leaving without waking you. Please, know that I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ll keep in touch with Liz, but I think it would be best if you and I didn’t talk for a while.

I am so sorry. Please forgive me, if you can.

Evan

I crumpled the note in my hand, the tears returning. Quickly, I smoothed it back out and read through it a few more times.

He doesn’t even want to talk to me.

I collapsed back onto the bed,
letting the note fall to the floor, and curled up into a ball, letting the emotions overtake me. The most wonderful night of my life had become the most terrible in a matter of minutes. While I was thankful he left me anything at all, I was still furious that he’d run off on me.

It felt like I’d become the characteristic story every parent tells their daughter. Boys only want one thing and when they get it, well . . .

The sound of a key sliding into the lock caught my attention and I quickly picked the covers up off the floor and flung them over myself, wiping my eyes with the corners.

“Oh, hey
, Mara,” Lizzy yawned as she came in. “I didn’t think you’d still be up.”

“I’m having trouble sleeping,” I said, trying to keep my voice even and get it together.

“How did the audition go?”

She dropped her stuff by the door like usual and stumbled over my bed, lying down next to me.

“It was really good,” I said, trying to discretely wipe my face once again.

Lizzy immediately caught on that something was wrong
, though.

“What’s wrong?” she rushed, sitting up and becoming absolutely awake.

“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just being over emotional about some stupid stuff.”

“Stupid stuff does
n’t make people cry like you were,” she said seriously. “I can see how puffy your eyes are. Something is really wrong. Why don’t you want to tell me?”

“It’s just stress,” I said, trying to get her to drop it.

“No, it’s not! Just tell me, so I can make you feel better.” She gave me a pouty face, reaching out and taking my hand.

“Chris and I . . . had a fight,” I said lamely.

“Oh sweetie! It’s going to be okay. You guys will figure it out, I’m sure.”

She launched into several different stories about couples who fought and got back together just fine after that. I was thankful she didn’t notice I’d only told a partial truth.

Why is it so hard to tell her that we broke up? It’s because then I’ll feel like I have to tell her I came home and slept with her brother. Some friend I am.

She laid down next to me again as she spoke, obviously ready to go to sleep again.

“You know what’s funny?” she said dreamily.

“What?”

“This pillow smells like Evan’s cologne.”

I froze, not knowing what to say or if she would connect the two.

“I always liked that smell. Aiden kind of smells like that, too.”

“How was your date?” I asked, trying to steer her away from the topic.

“Absolutely wonderful,” she yawned. “Perfect in every way.”

Her words drifted further and further apart as she spoke, carrying her into unconsciousness. I breathed a sigh of relief when she finally fell completely silent and her breathing slowed to a restful state.

I didn’t want to wake her, so I did the only thing I could to escape the harsh reality my life was becoming—I slept.

My ringing phone buzzed from its spot in my purse, the generic tone seemingly loud enough to wake the dead.

Groggily, I sat up on the edge of the bed, trying to remember what had me feeling so down. It was then that I saw the crumpled paper on the floor.

I bit my lip, fighting back tears, and kicked it under the couch as I stood and crossed the room to the bag holding my phone.

“Hello?”

“Yes, may I speak to Mara Adams, please?”

The voice on the other line sounded vaguely familiar. I checked the time on the kitchen clock before I answered. It was after nine.

“This is she.”

“Oh good! This is Raquel from
Wicked
. Did I catch you at a good time?”

“Yes!” I said, suddenly wide awake. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to call until tomorrow at the earliest.”

“We came to our decision much faster than anticipated,” she laughed. “Do you have some time to talk about your audition, right now? If not, I can call back later.”

“I have plenty of time,” I said, nodding even though she couldn’t see me.

“Great!”

My stomach instantly started twisting into knots as she started talking about some of the impressions they’d gotten from me the day before.

What if she’s just being nice because I didn’t get it? What if I did? I wish she would just tell me! No, I don’t!

“Basically, your reading and singing were both really great. We were all very impressed with how you handled yourself, especial for someone who’s never performed on Broadway, or even in the city for that matter.”

“Thank you,” I said, hoping she couldn’t hear the nervousness in my voice.

“You interview really was the kicker
, though,” she laughed. “You were very friendly and personable. We like to see that in our cast members.”

“Right. I mean, thank you!”

“Now, you’re probably wondering about the part,” she said, her serious business tone back. “We would like for you to have it.”

Everything in the world came to a crashing halt. I couldn’t even feel myself breathe, let alone my heart beating. I swear, even the birds outside froze in midair.

“I’m sorry?” I whispered, frozen completely.

“We would like for you to take on April’s part as an extra. Well, not just that
, though. I would also like to extend a few, small understudy roles to you. If you would like to have them, that is.”

“You would?” I asked in a shaky voice, some feeling returning to my face as I realized I was crying.

“The decision was unanimous,” she laughed. “You’re the one we want.”

“I am? I mean, yes! Yes
, to it all! I will do whatever you want me to do!”

“I thought you might say that,” she chuckled. “I had your contracts drawn up early this morning. As soon as you can, the hiring team here would like to meet with you at the theatre and get everything set up.”

“You mean like payments and stuff, right?” I asked nervously.

“Yes.”

“Sorry. I’ve never been paid to be in a show before,” I giggled giddily.

“It’s fine,” she said sweetly. “Once all of the technical, non-show stuff is taken care of, you and I will get together. I’ll be teaching you your blocking and such. We’ll have a few regular rehearsals with your immediate cast and then one put in the night before you go on. Once we get that out of the way, I’ll help you learn your understudy roles.”

“This is a dream come true,” I gushed. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s my pleasure, really. We love finding new talent here at
Wicked
. Everyone always dreams of finding that unknown talent and bringing them into the light. You are our undiscovered talent, Mara.”

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” I said, placing my other hand on my forehead. “I feel like I’m going to wake up any second now and discover this has all been a wonderful dream.”

“It’s not a dream,” she chuckled. “It’s really happening. You deserve this—these—parts. Your waiting has paid off.”

“I can’t say thank you enough,” I said, my face now thoroughly soaked through with happy tears.

“Welcome to the big leagues,” she laughed again. “Welcome to Broadway, Mara.”

Chapter Twenty Two

I can’t believe I’m signing a Broadway contract right at this instant!

My hand shook slightly as the pen scrawled over the paper, agreeing to each clause and stipulation. Thankfully, I’d understood it all when I’d read through it previously. It was what I’d always wanted—to sign my life away to complete servitude under the bright lights of the theatre.

Raquel sat next to me at the table, waiting for me to finish and her job to begin. She’d been there the whole time, listening to me set up my taxes, payment information, and necessary contacts for the last two hours.
There had been extra things to explain, because I was being set up for the understudy roles, as well. For the most part, I would be paid the same amount each week—just under two grand—unless I got moved up to permanently take over one of my understudy roles.

As I laid the pen on the table and watched the man in front of me collect my contract, I felt the sudden thrill of realizing I was officially a Broadway actress. Everything I’d worked for in my life had come to fruition. I fought the happy tears in my eyes as hard as I could, wanting to maintain the upmost semblance of professionalism.

“Well, Mara,” Raquel said, standing up. “I would like to be the first to officially welcome you to the cast of
Wicked
.”

She extended her hand and I took it gladly, laughing slightly as I shook it.

“Thank you very much,” I said for what felt like the nine millionth time.

“Congratulations
, Ms. Adams,” the man said as he stood up and moved to leave.

“Thank you!” I beamed at him, not able to pull the smile from my face.

“Now, we have a lot of work to do,” Raquel said, back to business as usual. “We’ll start with another costume fitting.”

She motioned for me to follow her, leading me out into the hall. We were in a part of the theatre I’d never visited before. Instead of costume rooms
, and props lying around, this was more the business side of things. After a short walk, though, I started to recognize the stairwell we were in.

“The measurements Kayla—that’s the head of wardrobe—got at your audition were pretty close to what we have the costume at already.
You’re going to have to try them on, so they can fit them to you exactly. We want you to look in tip top shape when you’re on stage,” Raquel said as we came to the ground floor. “Nicolle is going to pin them up for you, or mark where they need to be let out a bit.”

“Okay,” I said excitedly.

“After that you’re free for the day. I imagine you have some things to take care of, since you only just got the call, today,” she laughed.

“I can stay and do whatever,” I rushed to say, knowing that if I were sent home I would dwell on Evan.

“Mara,” she chuckled. “You get paid to be here, now. While it may be a set weekly pay, I don’t want you here any more than you have to be. Tomorrow you’ll be coming in to learn your ensemble music, assuming that you’re able to quit your previous job quickly. Once that is done, you’ll be learning blocking. By next week, you’re going to be here almost every night, performing for an audience. Take today for yourself. I know you want to be here now, every actor always does, but you need this time. Trust me.”

“All right,” I grumbled, somewhat downtrodden. “I understand. Thank you for looking out for me.”

“It’s what I do,” she said with a smile.

She stopped in front of one of the doors and held it open for me, revealing the same dressing room I’d waited in the day before.

“Let’s get to it!”

After my fitting, which only confirmed the fact that I had the best job in the world, I stopped by Olive Garden and quit my job. Valarie, the schedule maker, told me that she’d find someone to cover the rest of my shifts for the week and not to worry about the next, because she hadn’t gotten anything together yet.

The many well wishes from my ex
-coworkers made me blush. I’d never realized how many of them were actually listening when I’d talked about auditions before. A few fellow performers seemed a little sad it wasn’t them, but congratulated me all the same.

This is it,
I thought as I walked through the restaurant’s revolving door and crossed the street to sit on the red steps.
I’m officially a working, Broadway actress. It actually happened! If only Evan still worked here.

I stopped myself short, not ready to deal with the emotions I’d shut away in order to deal with what was newly required of me.
It had been easy, pushing it to the side as I watched everything I’d worked for come together. But now? I didn’t have anything to immediately distract me.

You will not cry in public,
I coached myself, taking several deep breaths.

It suddenly occurred to me that I’d never called my parents to tell them the good news. While I would have rather been actually working, it seemed like a good idea
to call now. At least I’d be distracted for a few minutes longer.

I called them and headed to the subway, our conversation lasting the entire trip home.

“Mom,” I laughed as I unlocked my door. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell everyone right now.”

I’d caught them when they were grocery shopping. She’d promptly shouted out to the whole store that I’d gotten one of the best parts in history and wouldn’t stop telling every person who walked by, no matter how much I asked.

“We have to come see you,” she suddenly said. “On your opening night!”

“That’s an expensive flight, Mom. You don’t have to, really.”

“Don’t be silly,” she scolded me. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“I start next week,” I chuckled. “That’s really short notice for airline tickets.”

“I’ve been saving money each week since you left,” she giggled. “I knew you would get cast. We don’t want to miss your opening night.”

“Mom,” I said, touched that she’d been so thoughtful. “If you really want to come, I think that would be wonderful. Thank you!”

“I’m so excited to see you!”

I finally opened the door and went inside, nodding to Lizzy who was still lying in her bed and looked like she’d just woken up.

“I’ll call you when I know more, Mom. Okay? I love you, too. Talk to you then.”

“Good morning,” Lizzy said groggily as I hung up and laid everything by the door.

“It really is,” I said happily, not letting my eyes fall on my bed and the memories it tried to release.

“Where did you go?” she yawned, sitting up and scratching her head.

“The Gershwin,” I said casually.

“What for?”

“To sign a contract.”

Silence greeted me as I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.

“What?” she suddenly screeched, jumping from the bed, running into the kitchen. “You got the part?”

“I got the part,” I laughed.

“Oh my gosh!” she squealed, throwing her arms around me and doing a little dance. “How do you feel? Wait no, what part are you playing? Mara, you’re a real Broadway actress, now!”

“I know!”

“We need to call Evan, right now, and tell him,” she said, breaking away and skipping back to her bed to get her phone.

“No!” I spat out, choking on the sip of water I’d just taken.

“Why not?” she asked in surprise.

“I don’t want to bother him while he’s working,” I said uncomfortably.

“But he’s not! I got a text from him this morning. He’s already upstate with our mom. I guess he had a week off and decided to come visit. Don’t worry, I already yelled at him for not coming to see us. That punk was going to stay up there the whole time, can you believe that?”

“Lizzy, please,” I said, feeling the panic bubbling up inside me. “It’s not anything he needs to know.”

“He’ll be so happy for you, though,” she said with a confused smile. “I mean, he used to work there. He knows all of those people. He could give you pointers!”

“I’ll be fine on my own,” I insisted. “We don’t need to bother him with anything about me.”

“That is just silly,” she said.

She typed a few words into her phone before I could stop her and then tossed the device back onto the bed.

“There. See? It’s no big deal.”

“What did you say?” I asked quietly.

“Just that you got a job at
Wicked
. What’s wrong? I thought that Evan would be one of the first people you wanted to talk to about it.”

“Nothing.”

I knew she could tell how uncomfortable I was. How could I tell her I didn’t want to talk to him because he’d run out on me? I would have to explain everything that happened with Chris. She would find out I’d gone behind her back and slept with her brother. Wasn’t I supposed to ask permission, or something, before doing that? All I knew was that I didn’t want to lose her as a friend and that the truth would certainly do that.

“You can talk to me, Mara,” she said nicely. “What happened that’s made you not want to talk to Evan?”

“It’s not that,” I said, trying to brush it off. “It’s . . . uh . . . that time of the month. I’m a little moody, that’s all.”

“Okay,” she said, obviously not believing me.

I sighed as she got up and went into the bathroom, scolding myself for not having thought of a better reason beforehand.

The truth was, even if he hadn’t basically told me to leave him alone, I didn’t want to talk to Evan. I’d given him something that I could never get back and got nothing in the end. My heart was broken to the point of not even wanting to try anymore. The only thing that was keeping me together was the show. I fully planned on using it as a distraction from what had happened. I couldn’t stand the thought that continually ran through my head when I didn’t have anything to do.

I still love Evan, even if he left me.