Big Girls Drama (4 page)

I was still thinking about my encounter with Julia today wondering how I ended up getting offered a job in her establishment. Not only did I walk out of her boutique with the dress and the jumpsuit, I also purchased two pair of distressed jeans, three shirts, and three pair of shoes. And she kept her word giving me the discount of 25 percent. So what turned out to be an unfortunate event with her employee ended up turning into something fantastic for me. I was still unsure if I was going to take the job. The money was nowhere near what I was used to making, but I would be doing something I loved, and that's working with clothing. I told her I would call her in forty-eight hours with my decision. Right now, I wasn't working at all so something was definitely better than nothing. I still wanted to talk to Sheldon before I made my decision. If I only had my sisters here to talk to about this . . .

“What are you thinking about?” Sheldon asked, sitting across from me in a quaint corner of the restaurant.

“I was thinking about my sisters,” I said smiling.

“You miss them, don't you?”

“I really do.”

“Do you regret moving here with me?”

From the expression on his face, he was hoping I would say no, and that's the answer I would give him, even though a part of me did regret moving away from my family.

“Of course not, Sheldon. You know I will follow you to the ends of the earth,” I told him, reaching across the table for his hand. He placed his hand into mine and smiled.

“I'm glad. Because all I want to do is make you happy.”

“Well, this evening is a great start.”

“Did I tell you, you look amazing?” he complimented.

I actually felt amazing. I was wearing the jumpsuit I purchased with a metallic strappy heel. Once in a while, I would put something on that would make me feel like the most beautiful woman ever.

“I know I've been working a lot lately, Viv. I feel like we haven't spent much time together.”

“That may be true, but I know you need to do what you got to do to prove this company chose the right man for this job.”

Sheldon smirked humbly as he brushed his thumb across the top of my hand.

“So do you still love the job?”

“I do, but like most jobs, you're going to have your haters.”

“Don't I know it?”

“Another downfall is not spending as much time with you as I would like. I feel like I'm neglecting you. Hopefully, that will change in the near future.”

I smiled encouragingly as a silence fell between us. Sheldon gazed at me. Each time his eyes stared into mine, I fell in love with this man all over again. I wondered how I got so lucky. He was the only man who could make me leave my sisters.

A cute brunette walked over to our table infringing on our moment together.

“Good evening. My name is Hailey, and I will be your waitress for the evening,” she greeted gleefully.

She had the most striking blue eyes I'd ever seen. She made it a point to greet both of us, but, of course, most of her attention was directed to my husband.

Here we go again,
I thought. I swear every time I went out with Sheldon there was some thirsty-ass chick raring to take him away from me. It was always the same thing. They always gave me this look like I didn't deserve to be with a man as handsome as Sheldon. I knew I was a plus-size sister, but come on. I deserved respect. It wasn't like I was going to lie down and let some trick come in and take him away from me. I wanted to say
Bitch, he chose me, so step the hell off
. But I never reacted that way for fear I would bring embarrassment not only to myself but to Sheldon. This was getting tiresome, however. If this kept on happening, I was going to lose it on one of these women.

“Can I start you out with something to drink?”

Sheldon was too busy looking at his menu to notice this chic's infatuation with chocolate. I knew she couldn't help herself because my husband was fine. He didn't have to try at all to be sexy, because he just exuded it.

With narrowed eyes, I watched this woman drooling over my husband. Instantly, my mind went to her eagerly wanting to please him by sucking on his very laudable chocolate bar. I mean, that's what white girls were known for, right? See, I shouldn't go there. Here I was stereotyping, when I knew damn well everybody, and I mean every race, sucked dick.

Regardless, any woman wanting to be with my husband was a problem. I was tired of them looking at me like I sat in bed all day eating Debbie Cakes and washing them down with a two-liter Pepsi. I needed to get my mind right. I was so paranoid that I was stooping to levels of stereotyping when I knew how that felt being the plus-size sister I was.

I don't know why I punished myself with thoughts like this. I knew it was my insecurity rearing its ugly head, but I couldn't help it. I was frequently ashamed of my size, and when skinny women like Hailey came along, I always wondered if she could do a better job at pleasing my husband than I could. I knew how ridiculous this was, but it was something I did quite often for fear someone just like this skinny heifer could possibly succeed in taking my one true love away from me.

“I would like to order a bottle of your Dom, please,” Sheldon told her.

“Nice choice,” she said like she was impressed. “I'll get that for you, and when I return, I'll take your order for appetizers.”

The trick bounced away just a little too much with her double Ds jiggling. I stared at Sheldon who looked at me with an inquisitive gaze.

“What?”

I shook my head saying, “You never notice these desperate women?”

“Babe, I don't care about any other woman but you. I've told you this.”

“I'm just tired of this happening all the time.”

“I can't help your man is handsome,” he said tugging on his collar like he knew he was cute.

Smiling flirtatiously, I admired him in his black suit with a white button-down shirt. He'd removed his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons for more comfort.

“Here's your bottle of Dom.” The waitress returned, placing a bucket of ice with the bottle of wine in it by our table.

She made sure to lean forward just a little too much so Sheldon would notice her now visible cleavage. This trick had unfastened three of her buttons trying to get the attention of my man. He noticed but quickly averted his eyes, looking at me like he saw what I was talking about now.

“Do you know what you would like to order for your appetizers, sir?”

She gave me a quick glimpse I guess to acknowledge my presence but turned her full attention back to Sheldon. I exhaled deeply to control my temper as Sheldon nervously spoke.

“Um, I'm sorry. I still haven't decided.”

Sheldon may be a bit rough around the edges and came from the streets, but he also knew I could get hood real quick. I knew that's why he stammered to answer this woman because he knew if she kept this up, I was going to check her quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Tumbling from my husband's mouth, he said, “I . . . I would like the seafood cocktail.”

This trick probably thought he was stuttering over her ass. Little did she know I was seconds away from jumping on hers.

“Sweetie, what are you having?”

He made it a point to reach across the table again and take my hand into his. I loved when Sheldon let these tricks know I was the only woman he had eyes for. This didn't sit well with Ms. Trying to Seduce My Husband. The trick actually looked like she got jealous. Sheldon wasn't even hers to get jealous over. She shifted from one foot to the other like she was bothered by his act of love for me.

Gripping his hand into mine I said, “I'll take the mixed salad.”

The patronizing sneer she gave me ticked me off even more. I didn't know if it was because I was holding my husband's hand or the fact I ordered a salad. Hell, skinny women weren't the only ones who enjoyed the green leafy appetizer. Either way, I didn't like the way she was looking at me.

With a forced smile I said, “We would like to place our entrée order as well.”

I was trying to eliminate as much contact with this woman as possible because I didn't want to use her face to wipe these floors with.

“Okay,” she said grinning sardonically but disrespectfully turning away from me to ask Sheldon what he wanted first.

No, this heifer didn't. I gripped Sheldon's hand unknowingly. He knew what was about to happen if this woman didn't get the hell away from our table.

I was so sick of being treated like a second-class citizen from these skinny women who thought they were better than me. I dealt with someone like her way too many times to count, and I was getting sick of it. What was getting ready to happen was I was going to jump on her and make an example of her for all the other women who thought it was appropriate to treat me like I was unworthy and who had the audacity to come at my husband all types of wrong. It was enough to make me want to snatch people up on a regular, but I knew I couldn't do that without catching a case.

“Please, take my wife's order first,” Sheldon gestured toward me.

Smiling sheepishly, Hailey turned her attention back to me and asked, “What would you like, ma'am?”

“Ma'am,” I murmured as I giggled to myself. I looked over at Sheldon whose eyes were pleading with me to keep my cool. I let go of his hand and picked up the menu to decide what I wanted.

“First, I would like you to button your blouse back up and stop throwing your breasts along with yourself at my husband because he doesn't want you. He wants me.”

“Um, excuse me?” she said as confusion blanketed her face. She gripped her blouse in befuddlement. Her breathing was uneven, and it was then when I came to the conclusion this woman had never been addressed about her sexual antics before. There was a first time for everything.

With an expression devoid of emotion I continued.

“Second, if you continue to disrespect me like you have been doing, I will have no other choice but to turn those pretty blue eyes black. Please feel free to use your imagination on how I will make that happen.”

“Honey . . .”

I heard Sheldon calling my name, but I wasn't done with this trick.

“And third, I would like filet mignon with lobster butter on the side and the tempura asparagus.”

I graciously closed the menu and handed it to Hailey for her to do her damn job. The woman appeared shaken by my words but knew better than to say anything sideways to me. I'm pretty sure the menacing glare I was giving her further let her know I was serious and had no qualms about backing my words.

I grinned ruefully as I turned to Sheldon and asked, “Honey, what are you going to have?”

I had been in a daze ever since Dr. Hoffman told me the devastating news. I had an STD which could have possibly ruined my chances of being able to conceive a child. I was only twenty-eight years old. I still had so much life ahead of me, and that journey going forward always had children in it. But that portion of my journey may have been derailed . . . all because my husband chose to cheat on me again.

I sat in the parking lot of the clinic not able to move. With my head leaned back on the headrest, I contemplated calling him. I knew something like this couldn't be discussed over the phone, but a part of me wanted to ruin his day like I'd had mine ruined. So I picked up the phone and dialed his work number.

“Jeffrey Woods's office. This is Bridget speaking. How can I help you?” his secretary greeted.

“Hi, Bridget. This is Kellie. Can I speak to Jeffrey, please?”

“I'm sorry, Kellie, but Jeffrey is at a lunch meeting. I can take a message if you like.”

A lunch meeting, huh?
I thought.

“Kellie?” Bridget called out.

“No, that's okay. I can wait and talk to him when he gets home.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes, I'm sure,” I hesitated.

“Kellie, are you okay?” she asked.

Tears formed at her simple act of caring. I tried to gather myself because I didn't want her to know how upset I really was.

“I'm okay, Bridget. Thank you for asking.”

“Okay. I'll tell Jeffrey you called.”

I hung up. A part of me wanted to drive over to his job and confront him, but I knew I was going to cause a big scene which could potentially cause him to be fired. Look at me. Here I was thinking about him and what was best for him. He didn't bother thinking about me when he was screwing some other whore and how his cheating could jeopardize my life.

I began to weep uncontrollably. Now the realization had set in as I thought about Bridget being nice enough to ask me how I was and the man who supposedly loved me didn't give a damn about my well-being. Not sure why that question from Bridget was the tool needed to break through this barrier of pain I was feeling, but now I couldn't stop. I needed to talk to somebody desperately, and the first person I thought of was my brother Victor.

I was supposed to call him with the results, but I couldn't tell him this. I couldn't even talk to him because I knew he would figure out something was wrong. As much as I wanted to speak to him, I knew now was not the time. Hell, I didn't know when there would be a good time. As soon as Vic heard this news, he was going to get in his car to come down here just to beat Jeffrey down. I wasn't about to risk my brother's well-being, knowing he would speed down the highway to get to me. So I decided to wait.

Then Mom came to mind. I wasn't sure if calling her was a good idea either, but I needed someone to talk to. I could call Monica or Sonya, but they had their own things going on, and I wasn't ready to unload yet another chapter in the life of how mine was so bad. So I decided Mom was who I was going to call.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Hearing her voice caused me to break down again, but I managed to keep my sobs under control.

“Hi, honey. How are you?”

Mom sounded happy, which made me even sadder because I knew what I had to tell her would change her mood. I knew I could pretend like everything was okay, but she would figure it out. So I might as well go with my original plan by talking to her about this. I just hoped I wasn't making a big mistake by doing this.

Most kids usually could talk with their mother about anything, but in my case, I couldn't. My father was that person for me, and he was no longer here. My mom always seemed distant in a way, and I never felt that mother-daughter connection I thought a daughter should have with her mother.

“Mom, I'm not doing so good.”

“Why, Kellie? What's going on?”

I couldn't say anything as I heard the concern dripping from her words. Even though Mom got on my nerve at times, she did have a tender side. To hear her worried about me caused me to hesitate for a moment.

“Kellie, are you there?”

“I'm here, Mom,” I struggled to answer.

“What's wrong?”

“I found out today that I have a sexually transmitted disease.”

“What?”

“And as if that's not bad enough, this disease could have caused damage to the point I may not be able to have children.”

“Lord, have mercy. The devil is sure doing his job, ain't he?”

I was waiting for her to say I told you so, and my mother didn't disappoint.

“So I take it you got this disease from that Jeffrey?” she asked.

“Yes, Mom.”

“I knew it. I knew nothing good was going to come from you marrying that man. I tried to tell you.”

“Mom, please. I don't need to hear this right now.”

“Well, somebody needs to tell you. You're a big girl wanting to live this life with a man way too old for you, if you ask me. That man has done nothing but bring drama to your life.”

I almost hung up on her. I'd done it before but quickly apologized knowing it was disrespectful. But sometimes Mom never said what I wanted to hear. Why couldn't she just say it's going to be okay, or she was here for me? That was what I wanted to hear.

“Mom, I'm married, so it's done. Can you just please be a mom for once and console me without telling me what I've done wrong?”

“If I don't tell you, then who will?”

“So is that what we're doing?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“My life may not be perfect, Mom, but the one thing I haven't done is turn my back on my family.”

Mom said nothing.

“When was the last time you talked to Vic?”

“I don't know who you are talking about,” she replied in a disdainful tone.

“He's your son, remember?”

“Victor is dead to me, Kellie.”

“How can you say that?”

“No son of mine is going to live his life being in love with another man, do you hear me!” Mom yelled.

“Oh, I hear you. I just can't understand how you can call yourself a Christian woman and turn your back on your fellow man, and this man happens to be one you gave birth to. Are you trying to say God made a mistake blessing you with him?” I asked.

“The Bible says—”

I interrupted responding with, “I know what the Bible says, Mom. You've shoved that scripture down our throats so much that it's burn into our memory.”

Mom quoted anyway,
“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

I rolled my eyes knowing I had to get off this phone before I disrespected her, but I had some scripture to quote to her as well.

“First Timothy 5:8 says,
‘but if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.'”

“Kellie,” she called, but I ignored her.

“First Corinthians 13:13 says,
‘So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.'”

“I love Victor, but I don't—”

I cut her off again saying, “Luke 6:37 says,
‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.'”

Mom was quiet now.

“So as much as you would like to claim Christianity, no matter what, you should still love your child. The only person who can judge is God, and the only one that can pay for the sins we commit is ourselves. So you have no excuses, Mother.”

“You will never understand until you become a mother yourself.”

Her words caused me to stiffen. I'd just told her I may not be able to have children, yet, she throws this in my face. She was so busy trying to be right that she completely ignored the reason why I even called her in the first place.

“Well, I may not get the chance to have children, Mother.”

The line went silent, and I used this as my opportunity to get off the phone with her.

“Mom, I have to go. You have a good evening.”

I didn't bother to hear her respond before I hung up the phone.