Billionaire Erotic Romance Boxed Set: 7 Steamy Full-Length Novels (154 page)

“What's going on here, Vance? I've known you for six years and I've never seen you behave like you have these past couple of weeks.”

He opened his eyes to see her kneeling in front of him. Her expression was serious, all traces of toughness replaced by concern.

“Talk to me.”

“I knew her,” he confessed. “We went to school together. I was a junior, she was a freshman and she was perfect.”

She shook her head. “Shit, you hired some girl you had a crush on in high school? You know that this looks like you intended to force her into a relationship by using your position as her boss.”

“Emma, you know me.” He was vaguely aware that he sounded almost pleading. “I would never do that.”

“Why else would she agree... She doesn't remember you, does she?”

“No. That's the problem. I thought she might recognize me, but when she didn't, I didn't tell her, so now it’s become this secret that I'm keeping from her.”

“Why don't you just tell her?” She sat back on her heels. “I don't see what the big deal is. Unless...” Her eyes narrowed and Vance felt a flush creeping up his cheeks. “You knew she worked here from the beginning.” She stood and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at him. “What aren't you telling me?”

“I had a crush on her.” His gaze dropped to his hands. “She was pretty and popular and never spoke to me.”

“Did she blow you off? Was she a bitch?”

Vance shook his head. “I didn't talk to her.”

“Wait a minute,” Emma held up a hand. “You're telling me that you've been blaming this girl for not talking to you when you never even tried approaching her?”

“Not blaming,” he began.

She didn't give him the chance to finish his excuse. “Did you want to fuck her now just because you couldn't fuck her then? Is that what all of this was about?”

He had to come clean. It was the only way Emma was going to be able to help him. “She's always been the unattainable, the one thing I could never have and the only thing I ever wanted.”

“But you don't make love, Vance, you fuck.”

He winced at her blunt statement but had to agree. The rest of his confession flooded out of him in a rush. “I didn't want to make love to her. I wanted to fuck her, make her mine and then tell her that I was the loser in school that she never would've looked at twice.”

“You wanted her to want you, to know what it felt like.” She leaned back on Vance's desk.

He swallowed hard, shame flooding through him. She was right. Whenever he'd fantasized about his time with Courtney, whether they were having sex or he was doing the big reveal of what he'd done, he always wanted to picture her response, make up what she might say. Humiliation at having fucked a loser. Apologies for how she'd treated him. Never once had he considered that he might want a different response.

Her voice softened. “Do you still want that? Is this about revenge for a perceived wrong or are you feeling something else for Courtney?” When he didn't respond, she straightened. “I think that's something you need to figure out. You need to be fair to her and fair to yourself.”

He barely noticed when she left, his mind already going over what Emma had said. Had he really been unfair to Courtney when they were in school? If he'd asked her out back then, would things have been different? All of the time that he'd spent thinking that she'd never give him the time of day. Had it all just been in his head?

And what if it had been? How did that change things now? Did he even want it to change things? Or did it mean that he just wanted to move forward with the way things were, but never tell her of their history together? He was enjoying himself and they seemed to be very compatible. Shouldn't he just enjoy what he had and not worry about trying to explore other things?

But what if he wanted to explore other things? And if he wanted to, would that even be a possibility? Could he start something real with Courtney and not tell her the truth? But if he told her the truth, would she still want to be with him?

Vance growled in frustration. This wasn't getting him anywhere. He needed to simplify things. He guessed what it really came down to was the truth. What was the truth about his feelings for Courtney Bell?

He couldn't get her out of his head, that much was true. Thick ash blond waves framing a heart-shaped face. Dark gray eyes the color of a summer storm cloud full to bursting with rain. Just the right amount of curves. Creamy skin. Full breasts a little more than a handful. Rose-colored nipples that hardened under his touch.

She'd gasped the first time he'd put clamps on her wrinkled little nubs, just a puff of air between kiss-swollen lips, and he'd had to wrestle with the urge to bury himself in her tight, wet heat. The other women that he'd fucked, while he'd enjoyed their encounters and their bodies, he'd never experienced the sensation he'd felt when he slid inside of Courtney for the first time. It was like they'd been made for each other. A perfect fit. Her pussy had gripped him as if it never wanted to let him go.

And after, he hadn't had the usual desire to bolt. Even in his own house, he'd normally left the bed if the woman fell asleep. He wasn't ungentlemanly enough to wake her up and kick her out, but he wasn't about to cuddle. Until Courtney.

When his arms were around her, it just felt right. He wanted her, but he also wanted to protect her. The feel of her body pressed against his had comforted him as much as it had excited him. He'd caught himself wondering what it would be like to wake up next to her, and not just because they'd both passed out after a night of incredible sex. What it would be like to watch her go through her evening routines. Brushed out her hair. Pull on a pair of comfy pajamas. Would she wear one of his shirts to bed? The thought that she would sleep wrapped in his scent tugged at something deep and primal inside him.

There was a possessiveness there, a desire to claim her. But even as he thought it, he realized that it wasn't the same as before. This wasn't an owning, a sense of property. This was something far different. This was Vance wanting Courtney to be his so that he never had to worry about losing her. He wanted to make sure everyone knew that they belonged together, that he belonged to her. They were lovers and there would be no sharing.

“Fuck,” Vance swore. “I'm in love with her. In actual selfless want her to be happy no matter what it means for me love.”

He stood and grabbed his keys. He had to tell her. She deserved the whole truth. The idea of losing her terrified him, but it was the only way. Now that he knew he was in love with her, he couldn't lie to her.

He didn't stop to tell Emma where he was going but she'd given him a knowing smile as he'd hurried past her desk on his way out and that was enough.

He spent the entire drive to Courtney’s apartment trying to think of the best way to do this. It wasn't like he could just say 'by the way, we used to go to school together, isn't that neat.” It was a bit more complex than that and he had no idea how to initiate the conversation.

The moment the door opened and Vance found himself face-to-face with a surprised redhead, he knew that all of his planned conversations were no good. In no version of this scenario had he expected Maggie Black to be waiting. Courtney had mentioned a friend flying in from Chicago and he'd assumed it was someone she'd met in college. He'd completely forgotten that Maggie's family lived in the Windy City. He also hadn't realized that the girls had remained friends. Courtney hadn't mentioned her. Then again, they didn't really spend much time talking about things other than sex. If Courtney had told Maggie his name, all bets were off. Maggie had ridden his bus for two years and, judging by the scowl on her face, she remembered him, and that meant Courtney most likely knew of their connection.

“Vance Forster.” Maggie crossed her arms. “It's been a while.”

“Hi, Maggie.” He quickly decided that acknowledging her was better than trying to pretend he didn't know her. “I'm here for Courtney.”

“I'm sure you are.” Maggie stepped out of the way. She glared up at him as he walked past her and into the apartment. “She's in the bathroom.” She picked up her purse and glowered at him. “I'm heading out for a while. Tell Courtney to text me if she needs me”

He nodded.

Maggie took a step towards him. “If you hurt her, they'll never find your body. I have connections.”

He stared, open-mouthed, as Maggie strode past him and out into the hallway.

“Mags, who was at the...” Courtney's voice trailed off when she saw Vance standing just inside the still open door. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Vance echoed. Now that he was standing in front of her, he wasn't sure what to say. The only thought his brain seemed to be able to produce was 'don't fuck this up.' Wise words. If only he could figure out a way to accomplish it.

Her expression hardened. “You knew.” She stomped past him and slammed the door shut. “I wasn't sure that you did until I saw you just now. Why didn't you ever mention it?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Unless there was a reason you didn't want me to know.”

“It wasn't like that.” He started to protest, then quickly amended. “I mean, it's more complicated than that.”

“Really? Seems pretty simple to me,” Courtney turned on her heel and stalked into her living room.

He followed, his heart sinking as she continued.

“Maggie said she remembered you, that you were some sort of quiet geeky kid who spent most of his time staring at me. Not that I knew you existed. We didn't have any of the same classes, have any of the same friends. I'm not entirely sure how I was supposed to know about you since you never said one word to me. But, I think, somehow in your twisted little mind, you thought that I was purposefully ignoring you. How am I doing so far?” She spun around, eyes flashing.

A bolt of fear and desire stabbed through him and he stammered, “pretty good, actually.”

“Then how about I continue.” Courtney’s arms crossed her chest. “You've waited and plotted for years, which is a little creepy and pathetic to be honest, just waiting for your chance to fuck with me. Or was it just waiting to fuck me?” Her eyes shone and he suddenly realized that she was close to tears. “I'll bet you even hired me at Asgard so you'd be in this position of authority...”

“I never used my position at the company,” he interrupted. “I made it very clear that what we were doing had nothing to do with work.”

“Oh you made a lot of things clear.” Her bottom lip trembled.

“Court—”

“Don't. Just don't.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Just tell me one thing. Was there anything about this that was real?”

A hand squeezed his heart. “It's the most real thing I've ever had.”

He took a step towards her and she flinched. He stopped.

“You were right. I had a huge crush on you in school and I thought that because you were popular and pretty, you'd never give someone like me the time of day. I let it haunt me, drive me. When I saw that you'd applied at Asgard, I didn't interfere, I waited to see if you'd get hired. That would be my sign, I decided. The sign that I was supposed to do what I'd been fantasizing about since I was seventeen.” He didn't want to continue, didn't want to tell her the extent of what he'd wanted, but he knew that he had to. “I wanted to make you mine.”

“You wanted to humiliate and degrade me for something I never did.” Her arms tightened around her waist as if she were holding together pieces of herself.

“I fucked up, I know it,” Vance found himself pleading. “I thought I wanted you to feel what I felt when I was in school, but now...”

“Now?” She repeated, her voice sharp. “Now, what? Now you just want to forgive and forget? Keep on fucking each other? Letting you tie me up, spank me, do things that I'd never let anyone else do to me just so you can get off?”

“No.” He felt his own eyes begin to burn. He was losing her. He'd only just realized what she meant to him and he was going to lose her because he was an ass. “Now, I finally let myself see what I've been hiding. That I'm in love with you.”

Her mouth twisted. “That's rich, coming from someone who's spent the last twenty years planning revenge on me.” Her voice broke. “Do you have any idea what these past two weeks have been like for me? How I've been trying to justify what I let you do to me? I believed all of your shit about trust and mutual respect, and all you wanted was a fuck toy.” She wiped an angry hand across her cheeks. “Get out.”

He froze. If she threw him out, he'd never have a chance to tell her that it was the truth. That he loved her in a way that he'd never loved anyone. That every time they'd been together, his plans had vanished and he'd just wanted to bring her pleasure. If she truly thought that their relationship had been so he could hurt her, there was only one way to show her.

He dropped to his knees. “Punish me, Mistress, but don't send me away.”

He clasped his hands behind his back and bowed his head, his stomach in knots as he waited for her response. Would she understand the significance of what he was doing? Not just the fact that he was asking for punishment or that he'd put himself in the Sub position, but the enormity of trust he was placing in her? They'd never discussed switching. She'd never been a Dom, didn't know the right techniques to do things, didn't understand the responsibility that came with it. She could actually hurt him, but that was a risk he was willing to take. If it meant a second chance with her, he'd take any punishment she could mete out.

“Vance.” Her voice was soft and her feet came into view. Pretty feet with seashell pink nails. Then her hand was under his chin, tipping his face up. “I don't want to punish you.”

His stomach sank and he wanted to look away from her but her hand kept its grip on his face.

“You thought you loved me before,” she continued. “What makes this different?”

He could smell the strawberry shampoo she'd used that morning, could almost feel the heat radiating off of her body, and his own body responded. He made himself concentrate. This was his one chance to convince her. “I was in love with the idea of you before. I thought I knew who you were but I actually didn't know anything about you. Now I know you. I know that when you come, you get this catch in your breath, like everything just stops in that moment. I know that when I brush my thumb over your nipple, it makes you wet.”