- Black Gold 2 - Double Black (24 page)

The relative quiet as that last note died off was haunting. Jett hammered the strings with his fingertips to coax out eerie, metallic wails that he accentuated with the tapping of his hand against the wood of his guitar. There was something desperate and tribal about it. It seemed torn from the depths of him, a confession via song.

The tempo drove breakneck toward something, and suddenly Jett sank to his knees in front of him, arms wrapped around the guitar like a talisman. There was no music, just Jett’s hoarse, pleading voice lilting in the raw, pared down style of the first verse. “It should be simple then, in our small world of us two men, if I were to ask you when. My heart was stolen, stolen, but my future’s bound in gold.”

The guitar gave a soft sigh of protest as Jett set it aside. He held Goldie’s gaze and reached into his pocket. His hand came away with a guitar string, and he threaded its end through the eyelet like he’d done to make the bracelet he’d given Goldie the night they met. As Goldie watched, ears still buzzing, Jett sized the loop down to a ring and held it up like some kind of offering.

Goldie still couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t want to run. He couldn’t do anything but stare at Jett. His gaze darted from the ring to Jett’s face and back again. It was hard to believe what he was seeing.

This was the moment he’d been hoping for, the commitment he needed. This was his family and his future, and as much as he’d wanted it, maybe the sheer unlikelihood that it would ever happen had made it safe to pine for.

Goldie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What if tomorrow Jett freaked out and fucked some random person? What would Goldie do?
Could he understand? He wouldn’t let it go, but could he see past that and still love Jett?

Goldie opened his eyes and looked down at Jett, both relieved and elated. “Yes.”
I would forgive you anything.
“Yes.”
I will marry you.

With wet eyes, Goldie dropped to his knees beside Jett. He kissed him so ferociously that it broke skin. Then he pulled away and held out his hand.
Jett swallowed hard and slid the ring over Goldie’s finger, then deftly twined the string in on itself. His focus centered on Goldie’s hand, giving Goldie a chance to study Jett’s face as he wove the ring into a beautiful, unique symbol. Jett’s dark brows almost met above his long, straight nose, and his kiss-stung lips pursed in thought. He seemed unconscious of anything but the task at hand, as if nothing in the world mattered more than getting this right.
Then Jett finished the ring and crimped it closed with a tool he’d left lying under the table. He’d planned this, at least to an extent, and he’d done it on his own. No one else had thought of these touches, had written that song.
Whatever Jett might do tomorrow, tonight he was going into this with clear intent and his eyes open.
Jett pressed a kiss to the ring as he once had to Billy’s bracelet. Then he smiled and looked into Goldie’s eyes. His were almost black with dilated pupils, but Jett didn’t seem high on anything but Goldie.
“You’ll marry me?” he asked, as if making sure Goldie hadn’t agreed to a trip to Napa.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” Goldie touched the side of his face. “I love you, Jett. I knew that before, but somehow you’ve managed to make me love you more than I ever thought possible. I want to grow old with you, have a family with you…one we can shape and love and spoil and teach bad habits.”

Jett’s expression looked pained for a moment, and then he wrapped his arms around Goldie. He buried his face in Goldie’s hair and shivered once against him. “I was half afraid Billy was gonna say yes and Goldie was gonna say no.”

“I was half afraid the other would happen.” Goldie squeezed him tight. “Billy got scared. Goldie knows he can handle you.”
“I was afraid Goldie wouldn’t put up with my shit.” Jett pulled back to look into Goldie’s eyes. “Thought I’d be a shoo-in with Billy. Guess maybe it wasn’t as sure a thing as Cole thought on either count.”
Goldie’s eyes widened. He frowned. “Did Cole put you up to this?”

Jett shook his head and studied Goldie’s face. “He and I had a heart-to-heart. Gave each other a good push. Did you hear the headboard symphony on your way upstairs?”
Goldie blushed. “Yeah. Young love. It’s cute, but then I remember I’ll be his father soon, and that makes me think I should go in and shout, ‘Not under my roof!’ or something.”
“Nah, he’s eighteen. Let him live.” Jett smiled and rose. “I told him Kyle liked him more than he thought, to take a risk. He told me the same about you.”
Goldie looked at his ring again and smiled. “You didn’t know I was in love with you? I’ve been waiting for you to ask since you brought it up in the car. Up until you asked, I was sure what my answer would be. Isn’t that weird?”
Jett tugged Goldie to his feet and kissed him. He seemed to be waiting for something. Then he asked, the words quiet but distinct, “But you’re certain now?”
“Yeah.” Goldie paused, wondering if he should say more. Jett appeared to need to hear it. As little as Goldie wanted to give him ideas, maybe it was something that needed to be said.
“I talked to Robbie before I came in. He pointed out that marriage didn’t solve problems in a relationship. Relationships have problems either way, and I needed to be ready and willing to make it through the rough spots. I hadn’t had much time to process that when I came in. So when you asked, I searched my heart. I only intend to get married once, Jett. I know we’ll both fuck up, but I know I love you enough to work through things.”
Jett laughed one of his wild, raucous laughs and kissed Goldie hard. His reserve fell away, and he seemed so present and real, like his heart was on his sleeve.
Jett whooped like a kid as he pulled away, then jumped onto the chair Goldie had been sitting in. Jett’s arms went into the air in declared victory. “Goldie fucking loves me, you assholes! He’s gonna marry me for real, and you can’t stop us, bourgeoisie!”
Then he jumped down and swept Goldie into a dramatic, back-bent kiss. As they straightened, Jett stole a series of quick, tiny kisses like he still hadn’t gotten enough. “If you meant that, we’re gonna make it.”
Goldie laughed and backed Jett into the bedroom and up against the bed. He gave him a little shove so that he landed on his back with an “oof” and a look of surprise. Goldie started undressing.
“I’m ready to consummate this. Then we’ll tell the fucking bourgeoisie that you’re going to be mine and they can keep their greasy paws and photo lenses off you.”
“Going to be?” Jett stripped out of his shirt while fixing Goldie with a wicked grin. “You mean I wasn’t already?”
“Now they’ll all have to admit that you’re not going fucking anywhere. You’ll be legally bound to me.” The rough edges of the new ring would take getting used to, but Goldie liked the constant reminder of Jett’s commitment. Seeing him so gleeful at the answer was yet another relief. He’d been worried his moment of self-examination would be interpreted as doubt.

“Take off your pants. I want to see your ass up for me, you sexy man. I want to see that ass I’m going to fuck.” God, Jett really was beautiful. He wasn’t as young as Cole, but the years had refined Jett. His cheekbones were sharper, his expression more knowing, his whole being more assured.

That was what attracted Goldie. Even in his moments of vulnerability, Jett was every inch himself.
It meant even more that Jett would give that self to Goldie. There was nothing held back. Jett was all in, utterly. It made Goldie appreciate that his own duality would be scary to Jett at the same time it fascinated him.
The look Jett gave him made it seem like he could read his mind. There was something shrewd in his gaze, but his lips curved into a teasing smirk. Jett’s hips arched off the bed, and his long fingers shoved his pants down his legs. As the fabric slid lower, Jett shimmied in a way that made his flat stomach flex and his muscles ripple beneath his scar-seamed skin.
When Jett rolled over and stretched out on the bed with his face in the pillows and his ass in the air, there was no mistaking what it meant. Years of hard living and hard working had carved Jett into the impulsive, impossible, irresistible man he was. Either he did as people hoped or he laughed in their faces.
Jett’s cheek pressed into the blanket, his whole body folded in a posture that invited Goldie to do whatever he wanted with it. Without being told, Jett spread his legs wider and swayed like the star bottom in a high-end gay porn video. His gaze sought Goldie’s from beneath the heavy locks of black hair that had fallen across his face. The hint of a smile crinkled his eyes, and he mouthed what looked a lot like,
Yes, master.

The word awakened something in Goldie that only came out during stage performances. He slid his hand up the crack of Jett’s ass, skimming his opening, then stroked along his spine. At the nape of Jett’s neck, Goldie tangled his fingers in the silky strands and pulled him to his knees. Closing in, Goldie kissed Jett deeply. With his other hand, he grabbed the lube bottle and flipped the cap.

Jett tipped his head back against Goldie’s shoulder and rubbed against him, seeming game for anything. He searched Goldie’s expression, and while his dark eyes looked overwhelmed, the set of his red, swollen mouth was determined.

They kissed again when Jett caught Goldie eyeing his lips and reached with both hands to caress Goldie’s hair and face.
“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” Jett nipped at Goldie’s chin and jawline. “Didn’t you fantasize about it? Bending my rebellious ass to your will? Finally being certain I belong to you, that I’ll do what you need me to? I asked you to marry me. I offered it all. That’s what it means to me, being married.”
Goldie slid his slick fingers between Jett’s cheeks. “I just want you to be mine. I don’t want to break you, but I won’t deny that I fantasize about having you all to myself. Maybe having you bound, begging for me.”
The way that Jett’s eyes fluttered and his face slackened turned Goldie on. “Do you ever think about that? Being completely vulnerable to me?”

Jett smiled and sucked his bottom lip, seeming for once to be choosing his words with care. He lolled against Goldie a few moments more, then opened his eyes and squeezed around Goldie’s fingers as they curled inside him.

“You won’t break me. Just fucking own me. Whatever it takes, do it, so we can both quit feeling so up in the air.” Jett paused, his brows knitting. Then he said in a soft, yearning undertone, “You wanna know where we stand? Put me to the test. Show me all you are. We’ll find out. And I’ll love every second, because you’re sexy as hell.”

Goldie frowned. Did Jett still feel up in the air? Before he knew what he was doing, Goldie had recoiled.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Jett didn’t move or make a sound. Despite his nudity and the gleam of lube catching the light at the undercurve of his ass, Jett wore an air of quiet dignity he’d never manifested before. He seemed to be waiting without judgment or impatience for…something.

Then he spoke, and there was nothing teasing or sarcastic to his tone, nothing defensive or angry in his posture. “I want to marry you, but I’m still not sure whether to call you Billy or Goldie. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life, but I never know whether I’m getting into bed with the shy, sweet boy or the self-possessed stud. I’m completely in love with all of you, but I can’t shake the feeling you don’t want me to see all of you.”

Jett turned his head to look at Goldie. “That’s it. Me being completely vulnerable to you. This is what that looks like. I’m not putting on a show. I’m not playing a part. I’m just a mildly terrified middle-aged guy trying to figure out how to avoid getting dumped the same day he got engaged.”

Goldie swallowed hard. “I’m not two people. Not really.”
Fuck. If Jett didn’t know who he was, then what the hell was either of them doing? “Who did you propose to? Was it just the fantasy that turned you on? I can tie you down. I can fuck you, and maybe you’ll think that’s somehow the real me. Because I’m rough. Or different. Or more like who everyone jerks off to. Is that what you want? Was I too much myself before and you didn’t want that?”
Jett seemed to age in front of Goldie’s eyes. That old weary look settled around his eyes like it had been the night they met. His shoulders sagged. His eyelids stayed closed a moment longer than normal with each blink, like it took an effort to open them. But he smiled.

It was nothing like his usual sultry, photogenic smiles or guarded smirks. It was a tender, beautiful thing that radiated absolute love.
Sounding as tired as he looked, Jett said, “I proposed to all of you. I proposed to the you I used to know, the you I know now, and the you I see growing into the future. I’ve been careful not to ask anything specific from you in bed because I didn’t want to stop you from exploring whatever fantasy world it is that exists in those places inside you I can’t get at. It’s all the real you, isn’t it? I was just trying to give consent to whatever you wanted from me. I wanted to lure it out, to know that part of you belongs to me too. If you can’t give me that…”
Jett flinched, and when he blinked, he didn’t bother opening his eyes. The glimmer at the base of his lashes hinted he was suppressing tears. Then he shrugged and blinked it away. His gaze fixed on Goldie’s, and it was obvious he held nothing back. “Well, I’m willing to work for it. You’re worth the effort.”

Goldie closed the distance and wrapped his arms tightly around Jett. There were a lot of things he could bear, but upsetting Jett wasn’t one of them. “It does belong to you. All of it does. I’m not trying to hold back from you. I’m trying to find it all. I’m scared, Jett. I want to be the fantasy. I have fantasies of my own. But I don’t know if I can be that person. Not without… I need you to be utterly you. I need to feel safe. Do you have any doubts about me, Jett?”