Black & Ugly as Ever (7 page)

It was a beautiful day for a concert. And as I sat outside of Miss Wayne’s apartment complex waiting on him to come out, I admired the peacefulness while I could. That would all change the moment Miss Wayne stepped foot in this car and found out who I had with me. He’s gonna kill me! But trust me, it was beyond my control. I brought Sweets to prevent an argument with Smokes and now I was gonna start one with Miss Wayne, instead. I was starting to wonder if it would be worth it.

“Where you at?” I called his house phone. I’d been sitting outside of the apartment he shared with his lover for over twenty minutes. And we had forty minutes to make it to the concert and it wasn’t lookin’ good! He told me he was coming downstairs a long time ago! “We gonna be late for the concert! Shit! I want to see the opening act too.”

“Calm down, Miss Parade! I tell you, I’ll be glad when this wedding thing is over because you’ve been a royal bitch lately.”

“That’s your opinion,” I told him frowning at his comment. “But I spent $90.00 for these tickets each
and
I’m picking you up. The least you could do is be on time. You told me you liked Corrine Bailey.”

“I can’t tell cause it seems like I spent this money for nothin’.”
“And I never done nothin’ for you? Hold on, Miss Parade.” He said cutting me off. “Miss Daffany, can you take the potato salad out of the fridge and put it in the picnic bag by the door please? Thank you, baby.”
I hated that she still lived with him. He was hardly available for me. Back in the day if I called him he was always there. Now I could be dead for all he knew and he could probably care less. And I was sure he was still having problems with Daffany using dope, even though he’d never admit it to me. There’s no way a dope head can all of a sudden stop based on sheer determination alone. I for one wasn’t buying it.
“And while you’re running your mouth, you could be up here helping me with these bags.”
“Bags?” I had purchased our seats on the lawn of the outdoor venue and you were allowed to bring outside food. But why was he bringing
bags
? To me one was enough.
“Yes bags! Now hurry up here before we’re
really
late.”
“I’m not tryin’ to be bothered with that zombie?” I adjusted the rearview mirror so that it faced me. “Where is
the dope head
anyway? I’m not trying to see her.”
“Where you think she at? Didn’t you just hear me talk to her?”
“Yeah whatever,” I sighed. “And what about your man? He can’t help you bring the bags downstairs?”
“He’s out of town and don’t flatter yourself about Miss Daffany! This chile ain’t hardly thinkin’ about you.”
“Shoot!” I yelled, turning the mirror back in its correct position so that it focused on the road behind me. Let me hurry up so I can get this over with cause going back and forth with him is a losing battle. “I’m on my way up!”
Miss Wayne’s place was always so cozy. Dark burgundy was dominant for his color scheme. It blended well with the green curtains he chose and the dark blue sofa. He knew how to make you feel at home when you stepped through his door. Everything was neat and the house smelled of the banana bread candles he purchased from
Bed Bath and Beyond
.
He opened up the door without saying anything when I knocked and continued about his apartment like I wasn’t even there. I saw three picnic bags already by the door and wondered how many people he thought he was feeding tonight. This was enough food to feed a small village.
“
All
this goin’ with us?” My statement caused him to break his busy body motion for one moment. I picked up one bag and noticed it was heavy.
“Yeah.” He placed saran wrap over a bowl of fried chicken. “I got one more bag and then we good to go.”
I loved this man all my life. And don’t get it twisted, I appreciate everything he does for me, but he’s getting on my last fuckin’ nerves! He was the reason I could hardly lose weight. He cooks for every occasion. Somebody’s birthday…he’s cooking. A holiday…he’s cooking. Somebody’s taking a shit…he’s cooking. It’s ridiculous!
“Hey, Parade.” Daffany spoke appearing from the back room. Her stomach was extra large and she was real skinny. She looked bad.
Real bad
. I felt my nose stinging. It was the sensation I got whenever I was on the verge of crying. How could she let herself fall like this and force me and Miss Wayne to watch her? I hated her for the pain she was causing me. And I hated her for the pain she was causing
us
.
“Daffany.” I said dryly not in the mood for a conversation with that bitch. My eyes roamed everywhere but on her. “Well I’m bout to take this stuff outside, Miss Wayne.” I grabbed two of the picnic bags and threw them over one arm and held the third in my hand. “I’ll be waitin’ for you in the car.”
“Hold up I’m comin’ now!” he said grabbing his oversized Marilyn Monroe meets Car Windshield shades. “Honey, you gonna be okay?” he asked Daffany swinging his white leather purse over his shoulder. He had on blue velour pants, and a matching blue velour top with blue strap sandals. His toes were damn near hanging over the edge.
“Yes! Go ahead!” she smiled. I could see she was uncomfortable because she looked at me then back at him. It must be hard being treated like a kid. But this is all her fault. “I have the food you made me in the microwave and I’m gonna sit here and watch
Stomp The Yard
for the fiftieth time today.” She continued laughing touching her belly.
“If you need me, call me on my cell phone. I have it with me.” He said touching his bag before bending down to kiss her swollen belly. “And if you have to run out anywhere, take your key.”
You mean this bitch has a key?
I thought.
Why’s he giving her so much attention? Its cause of her he has a big gash across his forehead from the day he found her wretched ass at the dope house. And if it wasn’t for the tracks he wore you’d be able to see he had stitches in the back of his head too.
“Miss Wayne, we gonna be late!” I reminded him opening the front door jingling my car keys for emphasis. “Daffany’s a grown ass woman!”
This was his cue to come on! I felt consumed with jealousy and I didn’t know why. I have to get out of here.
He shot me the evil eye and kissed Daffany one last time before walking out the door with me. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was still his favorite. I was the one he always rescued in our little group. I don’t want things to change. Too much has changed already in my life. Sky’s dead. Daffany’s on heroin and I might be losing Miss Wayne’s love. He was the only person consistent in my life, and I needed to know he would always be there for me…regardless.
When he saw Sweets sitting in my car I knew he was gonna unleash. And unleash is what he did. It wasn’t my fault. Smokes insisted that I bring her along, and she gladly obliged. She loved spying on me. She and I both knew it. It was almost as if she was trying to catch me in something. But what?
“Is there a problem?” she asked glaring at him, as she roamed through the hair magazine I picked up earlier from the grocery store.
I wanted to change my hair for my wedding so we were going over different styles. I had settled on letting my natural hair fall in a medium length bob. Miss Wayne stood outside the car shooting daggers at her.
“Yes there’s a problem.” He pulled down his shades so that they rested on the tip of his nose, allowing him to peer over them. “For one you’re here, and for two you’re in the front seat. So why don’t you wiggle your little narrow azz in the back where you belong.”
“What?!” she slammed the magazine shut, throwing it in her lap. “You didn’t
call
front seat!”
“I didn’t
call
front seat? Chile…you’re about to get what I call an old fashioned ass kicking if you don’t slither in the back! Ya heard?”
She looked at me and all I could say was, “Just slither in the back seat before he gets angry.”
She huffed and puffed the entire time but she moved where she belonged. The magazine dropped on the floor of my car and she didn’t bother picking it up. Messing with a faggy was out of the question and I did her a favor by making her go where it was harder for him to slap her. When she put her seat belt on, he threw the picnic bags over her tossing the magazine in her face.
“Ouch!” she exclaimed rubbing her cheek.
“Shut up, huzzy!” He got in the front placing his seat belt on next.
Boy am I gonna hear about this shit from Smokes later.
“Why is she here?” He turned up the music as if she was a child and couldn’t hear over the sounds blaring from the speakers.
“Cause he wanted her here.” I pulled out of the parking lot of his apartment complex in Bowie. It would take us 45 minutes to drive to Columbia Maryland’s Merriweather Post Pavilion, an outside concert hall.
“Well why would he want her here when he knows I can’t stand her yella ass?!”
“Miss Wayne, please!” I looked at him before focusing back on the road. “You’re yella too. Or have you forgotten?”
“Miss Parade, is that man beating you?” he continued drilling me like a sergeant.
“What?” I glared at him as I merged into traffic. “What are you talkin’ about now?”
“I said is he beating you?”
“No he’s not beating her!” Sweets said as she scooted between us, so she could be heard over the music. “He loves her! Trust me I know.”
“Do you want me to snatch the back of your scalp to the front of your face?” he asked turning around to look at her. I turned the music down because it was obvious it wasn’t working. Sweets ear hustling abilities were top notch.
“Well I suggest you sit back, be quiet and be cool. You don’t want it with me. Trust me, honey! It won’t be good!”
When she was in check he continued, “Then why would you allow him to tell you who to bring when you’re hanging out with
your
girls? You’re a grown ass woman.”
“Cause I don’t want to hear his mouth that’s why. He’s gonna be my future husband and I have to obey him.”
“Obey?” he waved me off and said, “Stop at the store right there.” He pointed his gold metallic finger nail at the 7 Eleven temporarily dropping the subject. “I have to pick up some ice but we will resume this conversation later.”
“They have ice at the concert.” I was growing increasingly irritated with him by the minute. “We really should stay on the road.”
“They ain’t got enough for my world famous potato salad! Now go ahead it’ll only take a minute.”
I pulled up into the parking lot and told a pissed off Sweets we’d be right back.
I decided to go in with him because this man could shop, even if it was just 7 Eleven. And I didn’t want him taking all day. I walked toward the ice chest and Miss Wayne went Gawd knows where. When I grabbed a bag I saw three dudes walk up to me.
“Dayum, ma! You sexy den a mofo!” one of them said as he licked his crusty bottom lip and gave his friend some dap. He must’ve thought he just said something inquisitive. They were eyeing me as if I was naked and I felt violated.
I knew I was sexy in my jeans by Deelishis designed for the girl with the tiny waste and fat ass. So what he was saying didn’t move me at all.
“Yeah she cute as hell to be dark.” One of them said.
I smiled because lately I’d heard that a lot. In fact, Smokes told me I was a sexy dark chick on a regular. Apparently Miss Wayne didn’t like it because he popped up and said, “And what exactly does that mean?”
“What exactly does
what
mean?” He looked at Miss Wayne as if he’d lost his mind.
“What does it mean to be sexy to be dark?”
“It means she’s a fine dark sister!” He eyed Miss Wayne as if he was a science project. All I could think of was Lord, please let us get outta here without any altercations. “And what you worried about it for fudge packer?”
Miss Wayne paid that comment no mind. He went right back to the comment he said about me being cute to be dark. I saw in his eyes that their comment pissed him off but I didn’t know why. He was being nice. He was paying me a compliment. So why the hostility?
“Well dark or not she’s hot so what you sayin’ is dumb. Hell you make it sound like most dark people are ugly but she was
The One
that got away. And since it’s obvious your mamma never taught you any manners…allow me. That shit you just said was rude and wrong.”
“This mothaphucka’s straps bout to bust on his sandals and he gettin’ in my business about some bullshit?” he laughed talking to his boys. “You can’t be for real.”
“Hold up!” I told him. “You disrespecting now!”
“It’s okay, Miss Parade,” he said interrupting me. “I’m tryin’ to find out why he’s lookin’ at my feet? Let me find out you into men.”
And what Miss Wayne did next made my mouth dropped. He cupped the dude’s balls and squeezed them afterwards licking his lips.
That set him off. He attempted to punch Miss Wayne and I dropped the ice and reverted back to my Quincy Manor days. I knew I had a right like Tyson.
Whop
!
He fell back against his boys and they tried to help him up. The ice bag ruptured on the floor and I saw drips of his blood fall on it like water paint. I waited for him to make a move, just one, so I could hit him again. But he remained in his friends arms like a new born baby. I guess he was seeing stars.
“Come on, baby.” Miss Wayne grabbed my forearm. “Let’s roll. We’ll get the ice at the place.”
“That’s what I thought,” I told him wishing we never came in to begin with.
When we got in the car it was silent for a minute. I don’t understand why I always feel the need to fight. I know it’s not ladylike and I try hard not to. But something in me clicks and sometimes it’s better for me to handle things the best way I know how. By whippin’ a bitch’s ass! Maybe I should’ve enlisted in the army or something where my talents could be put to better use.
“What’s wrong with you, Miss Parade?” He’s the kind of person who had to know
why
things were instead of leaving well enough alone. Besides, he knew full well why I dropped his ass on the floor.
“Because he was talkin’ about you that’s why.”
“I’m not talkin’ about what he said to me. My feet are big den a mothafucka in these shoes. I put a little too much salt on my pork chops last night and they swole up on me this morning. I wasn’t bout to look for some different shoes to wear with this outfit so I decided to roll with them anyway. Nawl what I’m talkin’ about is why would you accept him saying that you’re cute to be dark?”
“Because he was paying me a compliment. You act like he said I was a ugly bitch or somethin’.”
“He was.”
“I didn’t take it that way.”
“Do you know what cute to be dark means?” Miss Wayne persisted.
“Naw explain it to me” I merged onto Route 29 leading to the concert.
“It means that normally dark women aren’t cute and you were the
one
who made the exception. It’s disrespectful and wrong, Parade. And it’s far from a compliment!”
“I don’t think it is.” Sweets interjected. “If you look at TV nowadays, everyone is as light as me and you. Women, Parade’s complexion aren’t really cute at least the ones I’ve seen anyway.”
“So are you actually sitting in the backseat of my friend’s car saying she’s unattractive?” he asked turning around waiting for her response.
“No! She’s cute to be dark!” Sweets said seriously.
“You want the
Angelina Jolie’s
don’t you?” Miss Wayne asked as he peered at her.
“The
Angelina Jolie’s
?” she repeated to be sure she heard him correctly.
“Yes…cause I’m about to swell your lips up three sizes too big if you don’t sit back there and shut the fuck up.” Silence.
“Now, Parade that bitch in the back seat has lost her fuckin’ mind but I haven’t! There are plenty dark women who are gorgeous on TV.”