Blindsided (11 page)

Tanner had always seen Isaac, the oldest, as the protector, the guy who stood between them and their father’s abusive rage. Only that protector hadn’t really existed except in Tanner’s vivid imagination. It’d been every brother for himself. As the baby, Zeke had been left to endure without them.

Tanner was the only one who still stayed in touch with dear old Dad, and that in itself said a lot about Tanner, and his screwed up need to be loved, even by a man who didn’t deserve his love, especially considering it was common knowledge the man killed Tanner’s mother and got away with it. Yet, Tanner maintained a relationship with him, while refusing to have one with Isaac. Not rational, but it was what it was, and it’d been that way for three years.

“Hey, man, where’d you go?” Hunter snapped his fingers in front of Tanner’s face.

“Thinking about his wedding night,” Brick teased as he tugged off his tank top. Brick hated clothes because the guy overheated like a polar bear in the Mojave Desert. Everyone else wore sweatshirts while Brick wore a pair of swim trunks. And the guy was a goalie, for God’s sake. Tanner never understood why he’d picked the position that required the most clothes.

Grateful for the distraction, Tanner baited his hook and cast his line. Typical guys, they’d moved on to discussing the fishing, expectations for their teams, and a heated debate about the best microbrew in Seattle, capped off by Rush losing his pole in the water and falling in when he tried to retrieve it. Good thing Tanner made them wear life jackets because Rush swam like a concrete block. Of course, the dumb shit also caught the biggest fish—again—despite his bumbling.

Not that Tanner cared. He was too busy lost in a fantasy of getting Emma naked.

And the guys thought he was concentrating on his fishing.

Yeah, right.

* * * *

Emma hadn’t slept at all the night before. What woman could possibly sleep the evening after she was engaged, despite how abnormal said engagement? Emma couldn’t.

She’d just dragged herself out of bed when Bellani, the middle sister and wild child of the four sisters, surprised her by showing up on her doorstep and inviting her for coffee. First of all, Bella never got up before noon if she didn’t have to, and second Bella rarely drank anything milder than beer. Considering it was eight A.M., Emma wondered if Bella had even gone to bed yet.

Sensing a possible ally against her other sisters, Emma agreed.

She waited for Bella to broach the subject as they sipped their coffee and made small talk about very little of nothing. The two sisters had never had much in common being such opposites, though Emma had secretly idolized her nervy, devil-may-care older sister, living vicariously through her escapades and wishing she had Bella’s nerve.

“So enough bullshit,” Bella cut to the chase, setting down her coffee mug with a resounding thud and eyed Emma with a shrewdness which had Emma squirming. “You do realize I’ve had wild monkey sex with your fiancé several times, don’t you?”

Emma blanched, not expecting this at all. “I, uh, I suspected so.”

“You don’t think it’s weird that you’re having my leftovers?”

“Uh, I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Emma wanted to crawl under the table and pretend she was invisible.

“Emms, what is going on with you? First, the closet karaoke singing then this secret thing with Tanner?” Bella frowned with indignation, and she was just getting warmed up. One thing about Bella, she had her opinions and wasn’t shy about voicing them.

Emma was indignant, too. Bella was being a—a bitch. “You’re upset because suddenly you aren’t the center of attention. Both Avery and I have gone against Izzy’s wishes and now you’re not the only rebel in the family. You crave being a rebel. You embrace it. We’re moving in on your act.”

Bella stuttered several times before she got the words out. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You think you have everyone figured out. You aren’t even close, especially when it comes to Tanner. Just because Izzy and Avery tamed their bad boys, doesn’t mean you have the tools to do so.”

“Because I’m the good girl of the family? Sweet Emma, she never does anything wrong, always behaves, always tries to please everyone. Well, I’m tired of being that person.”

Bella laughed. “Then be a new person some other way. Tanner is out of your league. Way out. He is so not your type of guy.” Bella was working up steam, but so was Emma. She’d never stood up to her family before, especially not Bella, her personal idol. Yet, Bella had hurt her feelings, and like a wounded animal, Emma struck back.

“Tanner’s a nice guy.”

“Oh, Emms. That’s the problem. Of course, he’s a nice guy on the surface. That’s all part of his act. Inside he’s a selfish, egotistical asshole. You’re a means to an end. He doesn’t care about you.”

Emma refused to show how much Bella’s words stung and decided to deflect the subject back to Bella. “Are you jealous of us?”

Bella threw back her head and laughed. “Not at all. I hate seeing you making a big mistake, that’s all. You two won’t last more than six months.”

Emma was hurt, but she tried not to show it. She sat up straighter and forced herself not to cry. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Emms, I’m sorry to be so blunt, but—”

“No, you’re not. Not at all. You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him either.”

“How will you ever know who he’s really thinking of when you have sex with him?” Bella countered, her claws out and her hackles raised.

Emma had a few claws of her own. “You think you’re so memorable he’ll only think of you? Then why isn’t he with you right now?”

Bella touched her hand, and Emma jerked away. “There’s no easy way to say this. We were together as soon as a month ago, yet you claim this thing with Tanner started months ago?”

Emma’s eyes opened wide, not because Tanner had cheated on her, since he hadn’t, but because he’d been with her sister so recently. She’d thought they’d called it quits several months ago.

“Do you really want to be with a guy you can’t trust?”

“We never had an exclusive relationship until recently. I told him I didn’t want to know about the others,” Emma lied, a little shocked at how easily the fib rolled off her tongue.

Bella rolled her eyes. “I can see this conversation is going nowhere.”

“You’re right, it’s not. I expected you of all the sisters to understand.”

“Oh, I understand all right, I just don’t approve. He’s a player, Emms. You aren’t prepared for a guy like this.”

“I’m twenty-three years old. I didn’t ask for your approval or anyone else’s.” Emma sniffled, turning away from Bella.

“That,” Bella said pointing, “is exactly why you can’t handle a guy like Tanner. He’ll eat you up and spit you out. You want love, commitment, and forever. All he can give you is hot sex, a hollow promise, and tonight.”

“I’m going back to the barn now. You don’t need to give me a ride. It’s only a mile, and I could use the walk.”

“Fine,” Bella said stiffly, as she stood and stomped out of the coffee shop.

Emma stared after her and took a sip of her cold coffee and wondered how she’d ended up in this mess.

* * * *

Tanner came home after an early morning of fishing and catching nothing. He paced around his trendy waterfront condo on Lake Washington, too restless to concentrate on even something as second nature to him as working out. He decided to drop in on Emma. After all, it was ten A.M. on a Saturday morning. They’d never gone on an official date. He’d ask her out to dinner for tonight and get an update on the wedding plans, all while enjoying the delectable scenery. Thoughts of her face, her smile, her body drove him absolutely fricking nuts. He didn’t understand his reaction to her, but there it was.

This whole marriage thing should have him breaking out in hives; instead a part of him—most likely his dick—looked forward to living and sleeping with her—especially sleeping. Okay not exactly sleeping because neither of them would actually be sleeping.

Tanner had never lived a normal life, and this temporary marriage to Emma gave a semblance of normal to an otherwise abnormal background.

He pulled into the driveway and parked, glad to see her car had been returned as promised. Striding into the barn, he whistled a nineties boy-band tune, one of his guilty pleasures. Tanner took the stairs two at a time and knocked on Emma’s door, unable to stop his grin. She didn’t answer, but that old, battered Subaru was parked outside. She had to be around here somewhere.

He walked down the long barn aisle. Horses contentedly munched on their hay, a few pausing to check him out in case he came bearing treats. He gave them a thumbs-down.

The place seemed oddly quiet for a Saturday afternoon, but what the hell did he know? Maybe that was par for the course at a horse barn. Maybe horses took Saturdays off. Hearing an odd sound, like a wounded animal, Tanner walked to the back of the barn and paused to listen. Not an animal, but a female, and she was sobbing. Oh, God, how he avoided crying females. Any other place and time, he’d run, but fear threatened to overwhelm him. What if Emma had been injured by a horse? What if she was lying outside bleeding to death? What if—? He forced himself to stop behaving like a neurotic boyfriend and stepped into the morning sun.

Emma sat hunched over on a bench, hands covering her eyes, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Tanner’s heart reached out to her in sympathy, while his hands fisted, ready to kill the guy who’d made her cry. He’d never been so affected by a woman’s tears, except his sister. Thinking of Jenny sliced his heart open once again, exposing a wound which would never heal. He never wanted Emma to feel this kind of pain, and he swore in that moment that he’d do everything in his power to keep those tears out of her eyes, a tall order for a guy who didn’t plan on making this marriage permanent.

Tanner plopped his ass next to her on the bench and put his arm around her, pulling her close to his side. She glanced up at him through tear-filled eyes, her eyelids puffy and swollen. Her lower lip quivered, and she hiccupped.

“Ah, Emmie, what’s wrong?” he said, his heart breaking for her.

She shook her head and buried her face in his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, fisting the fabric in her hands. Tanner held her, completely out of his element and not sure what to do. He’d never been the guy who stuck around when a woman got upset like this. Instead he ran like hell.

He should’ve left when he’d realized she was crying. She hadn’t seen him, but he’d ventured into the gauntlet despite all his internal warnings to get out fast.

Now he was stuck with a blubbering woman in his arms, yet he didn’t want to be anywhere else but here comforting her. He couldn’t explain it, didn’t understand it, and decided to just go with it.

He didn’t know how long he held her or how long she cried in his arms. He did know his left arm was numb and his shirt was soaked completely through. Through all the blubbering, he felt a measure of satisfaction by being the man to comfort her. Finally she lifted her head, sniffed, and managed a feeble smile.

He used the bottom of his T-shirt to blot the last of her tears.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“No need to thank me; it goes with the territory.”

“Territory?”

“Yeah, I am your fiancé, remember?” He tried a crooked smile.

She nodded, her lower lip quivered, and she looked ready to start crying all over again. Well, shit, this was about him. He’d put those tears in her eyes. “What is it, Emmie?” he repeated using his new nickname for her.

“I—I had coffee with my sister earlier, and she’s not happy about us.”

“Izzy?”

Emma shook her head and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “No, Bella.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t think of anything to say. Bella and Tanner infrequently had booty calls, nothing more than that. “What’s her issue?”

“You said we’d been secretly dating for months. You’ve been with her within the month.”

“Shit,” he swore, knowing he’d been caught in one of his lies. He hadn’t counted on Izzy or Avery sharing the entire conversation from last night with Bella. What a dumb shit, he should’ve known better.

“She says you aren’t to be trusted.”

Tanner pulled her closer and held her. “Emmie, I promise I will never cheat on you as long as we’re together. Never. I’m not that guy.”

She didn’t look like she believed him, and he couldn’t blame her. Funny, but he’d been that guy. He hadn’t cheated on his former girlfriends, but he’d always been on the lookout for greener pastures. Once he got bored with a woman, he broke up with her and headed to the next one. Only Emma was different, and he wasn’t sure why.

If this relationship followed the course of the others, eventually the newness would wear off, and he’d go in search of someone else. Before he did that, he’d break it off—okay, divorce her. Just thinking about those words made his stomach ache. Theirs wouldn’t be a simple break up; it’d have all the angst and drama associated with divorce—when it happened.

If it happened.

Why the hell was he fretting about this now? They hadn’t even said
I do
. They hadn’t spent one night together, and he sure as hell couldn’t wait for their wedding night.

He had so much to teach her about sex, and he relished the idea of being her tutor. Maybe she’d rub off on him and teach him a thing or two about being a genuinely good person. That part of him had been broken for so long, and he’d faked it to the point where he didn’t know where his fabrications ended and real emotions began. He was all kinds of fucked up, and now he was dragging her into his darkness. Only he refused to think about that now.

“Do you think she’ll tell your sisters?” Or even worse, his brother.

“No, because she’ll look as guilty as you.” Emma tried a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“If you want out of this, it’s not too late.”

“Only if you want out.” Emma looked up at him with her tear-streaked face and luminous blue eyes, and those eyes wrote her name on a small piece of his heart, a place he’d reserved for his sister.