Authors: Clarissa Wild
Blissful Vol. 3
Copyright 2013 Clarissa Wild
Torn by a choice between love and passion
Jack’s heart has been lost ever since that terrible night. Now that I know what happened to him, I feel like I need to help him. I want to be there for him, but
I know he’ll never forget. Is love really going to be enough?
I miss my old life. I want to sing, I want to be somebody, and now that I’m with Jack everything has been put on hold. A curvy girl like me has no chance in the music business anyway, but when an opportunity presents itself to me, it feels like a dream
Can I take this chance and risk losing him?
I never believed I would fall so hard for Amy, and it’s turning me into a mess. She’s sweet, sexy, and gets me hot and bothered in no time. I get protective of her and all I can think about is holding her close. But telling her … that’s another thing.
I think I love her, but it’s terrifying, too. I know she’ll want to pursue her career again soon. It’s only a matter of time before I lose her again. I want her to be happy, but I think it’ll kill me as well. I don’t want her to leave.
Can I save our relationship before it’s too late?
volume 3 of Blissful and contains about 26000 words.
contains adult situations and foul language. Suitable for ages 17+.
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Kindle Edition, License Notes
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of my eyes are black as night. Dar
kness surrounds me. No matter whether I look around or shut my eyes, there is nothing to see. Only cold emptiness accompanies me into the depths.
My head is buzzing. Everything feels stiff and broken, as if I’
ve been snapped in two like a twig. I’m vaguely aware of the metal that encases me. Water seeps into my mouth, and I can taste the bitter dredge on my tongue.
Still, it doesn’t faze me.
I feel like I’m out of my body, out of this world, floating toward the next. I’m weightless, and all the burdens that were on my shoulders lift off me. I feel free and at peace.
Then a familiar voice whispers inside my head.
“Jack… Jack. Don’t give up.”
I recognize her voice from anywhere. The subtle high notes. Rose.
“Rose, you’re here! Where are you? I’m coming.”
I try to open my eyes so I can see her, but they’re glued tog
“Jack. You have
to fight it.”
r whispers are faint, but I focus on her as much as I can. I don’t know where she is or how I can hear her, but I need to get to her. I need to hear more. Need to see her. Need to hold her one last time.
“Jack, Open your eyes.”
I can’t. Something’s holding me back. I feel like I’m drowning, going deeper and deeper into an endless sleep.
It’s not good, but s
omehow I feel like I deserve this.
The calming water rocking me about is lu
lling me into a dreamless sleep. Maybe I can rest now. Maybe I can stop thinking about what happened to Rose and lay my head to rest.
“No, you can’t, Jack.”
“Stop it, Rose. I know you want me to believe you, but you know it’s true. I did this to you. I’m the reason you died. If I hadn’t started that fight with you, you wouldn’t have run off. If I hadn’t pushed you off into the storm that night, you would still be here. If I’d only gone after you sooner …”
I hate my stubborn self.
The string of events leading to Rose’s death drift across my mind like specks of rain on a windshield. I can see her bolting out of the house, clenching Maddy’s hand tight, as she dragged her to the car. She yelled at me, and swore she’d never come back. I can’t keep count of how many times I wished she’d never said those words, because they came true.
It was only a fight. It should’ve never happened, but it did.
Why did I have to be so hard on her? On Maddy? Why was I so intent on getting her to a school outside the village while you wanted to home school her? Why couldn’t I just believe in you and trust that you had the skills to teach her? Why couldn’t I just accept Maddy and let her be on our farm?
It was only one of the problems that involved me.
Fuck, I really loathe myself.
The many times we argued over
this small fact mounted up to Rose running away from me. Probably a last attempt at getting me to see who I was. A man who regretted being a father. A worthless asshole who got a girl pregnant and then hoped to ditch the kid at some boarding school.
I’m a pathetic son of a bitch.
I hear her, but her voice keeps pulling farther away from me.
Rose is dead, and she’s never coming back. It’s all because of me.
Driving off in her car, she crossed the bridge, trying to get as far away
from me as possible. It was the last trip she would make. I begged her not to go, but she went anyway. Through the storm and into the same water I’m lying in right now. All because that bridge gave away. No, all because of me.
If I only did something sooner,
followed her sooner, she would still be here.
I tried to make up for everything I did.
I’ve tried to redeem myself. Ever since she’s gone, I’ve been making up for all times I’ve not loved Maddy enough. I’ve showered her with affection, hoping it would do some good. Hoping it would make me feel better about myself.
But it wouldn’t bring her back. Of course it didn’t.
Then I see her in my mind. A bright white image of Rose with beautiful golden hair and a light robe.
“It’s not your fault, Jack. You were afraid.”
“No, Rose, I was a coward. Still am.”
“You were young. You didn’t know any better. You wanted to get your life back on track.”
“And I hurt you in the process. I killed you.”
“No, you didn’t. What happened was meant to be. It was fate.”
“How can you say that? I shouldn’t have shouted those things. I should’ve loved you and Maddy more, then maybe―”
“Don’t linger on the past.”
“I should’ve saved you! If only I swam faster in the water through that fucking storm …”
“No. You couldn’t have saved us from the storm. You tried your best. You saved Maddy.”
“But I didn’t save you …”
“It’s okay. I know you loved us. You loved us so much, you were scared not to do right. And I forgive you, Jack. I forgive you.”
“No, Jack. Stop thinking about what could’ve been and start thinking about what can be.”
“I wanted it to be you.”
“I know you do, but you can’t
go here. It’s not time yet. Maddy needs you. You can’t give up. You have to be there for her. And I want you to move on. It’s okay. I’m happy here. I’m not in pain, and I don’t want you to be in pain either.”
In my mind I can see her vivid smile and her glowing eyes. She grabs my hand, and I can almost feel the warmth of her fingers tingle my skin. She’s here. She’s really here. I can’t believe it.
When she presses her lips onto mine I can feel the heat flowing through them. I don’t know if I’m dreaming or if this is real, but sure looks like it. I’ve been dreaming about this day since forever.
It rips my heart out
, though, because I know it’s meant as a final goodbye.
“I love you, Jack. I’ll always love you. I want you to be happy. Please, be happy, for Maddy. Find your peace, for me.”
She drifts away into the corners of my mind. I reach out to grab her, but she’s gone before I get the chance.
It doesn’t matter. She’s gone to a higher place, and I know she’s safe and well there.
I’ve had the time to say goodbye and tell her that I’m sorry. I held her in my hands and felt her one last time. I feel better now, even if she’s gone. The guilt that had taken a hold of my heart and mind has evaporated. She’s set me free.
The flashlight I was holding drops to the ground.
In horror, I peer over the edge at the truck disappearing into the water.
“Maddy, call 911. You know how, right? Please tell me Jack told you,” I yell.
She nods, her body shivering.
“Call them. My phone’s inside my bag. And stay inside the car!”
I rush down the ditch and
don’t think twice before I dive into the water.
The muck and dirt almost make it impossible to see anything, but the lights of the truck show me the way. Holding my breath, I
swim to the botched truck and start pulling the door. I can see Jack, his eyes closed, his body lifelessly floating through the water inside.
I slam the window, but it won’t budge. My lungs need oxygen, though.
I go up for a quick breather and dive back down as soon as possible. The truck is sinking deeper and deeper, and the lights are giving away.
No, no, no! I have to get him out before it’s too late.
I jerk the door handle so hard that my wrist feels as though it’s being pulled from its socket. It doesn’t faze me. I won’t give up. I need to get to him.
Suddenly the door gives way
, and I push inside. Grabbing Jack’s listless limbs, I drag him out of the truck and make my way to the surface. It’s hard to hold onto him, because the water is pulling him down, but I won’t let go. This river won’t take him from me. I won’t let this be his end. Not like his wife died.
When I reach the edge of the water, I gasp for air. We made it.
I got him out. Thank God.
But it isn’t over yet. Jack’s still lifeless and doesn’t seem to breathe.
With long strokes, I swim to the shore and haul him up the bank. I put his body flat on the ground and rip his shirt open. Placing my ear near his mouth, I can hear he’s not breathing. His chest isn’t moving either.