Blissful volume 3 (New Adult Romance) (5 page)

“I’m sorry,” he whispers quietly, so quietly that it makes me think he didn’t want me to hear. As if he didn’t want to disappoint me. Again.

Jack slumps
back and sits down on a stool standing in the back. He’s leaning on his elbows, his face buried in his hands. He snorts and inhales quite loudly, as if he’s annoyed. Then he comes up and leans back against the wall, letting his arms fall down his side. His massive cock is exposed to me in ways I never imagined.

“I don’t want to be like this, Amy.”

I step under the shower and let the water warm me up again. For some reason it feels like I’ve been standing naked in the snow. “What do you mean?”

“
I don’t want to be like this. So … selfish. I’m forcing myself onto you.”

“What? Why are you saying that? You didn’t force me to do anything.”

He snorts. “Not yet.”

Somehow the idea of having him force me to do sexy stuff doesn’t sound so bad either.

“I’m fucking horny, Amy. So fucking horny, I could eat you and then some.”

His words make my cheeks flush and my folds slick. Jesus, I never thought Jack could be so upfront about it.

“But I don’t want it to be just sex. You deserve more than that. Fuck, you deserve more than me.”

“B
ut I want you. I don’t want anyone else,” I say.

He closes his eyes and a groan comes out that sounds so full of sexual frustration, it awakens needs inside me I didn’t even know existed. A need to settle him down, give him what he wants, what he craves. Give him pleasure.

And I want to do it. I want to take his cock into my hand and stroke it. I long to take into my mouth and enjoy the richness, the flavors, the hotness. I want him to feel better, to let go of the energy that’s built up inside him. He’s like this because of me. I do this to him. I see it in his eyes, the way he looks at me, and his tense muscles. He’s aching for my love, but refuses to give in to it. Probably because he still doubts whether this is love or lust.

It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I want to be that everything for him, too. And I want him to be mine completely, totally. To feel and experience him in every way possible.

So I step from under the shower and into his space. He glances up at me when he sees me standing there, and I sink to my knees. His hungry eyes follow me as I nudge his legs aside and dip between his legs.

“What are you doing?” Jack says, his voice increasingly strained from the torment.

“I want to kiss you. There.” When I wrap my fingers around his cock, his legs twitch. I can sense he hasn’t been touched by anyone else in a while, and it makes me feel special in a weird way.

“I don’t want to be a pity fuck,” Jack says with furrowed brows.

“You’re not. I
want
this. And
I
need this.”

As soon as my fingers start moving, his stomach flinches and his breath hitches. The muscles in his legs are rigid, and I know it’s because he’s not used to having someone stroke him. I love the idea of being the first in a while. Of being able to do this for him. To be the one that can give him this, and to have him want this so much. It feels so powerful, and I want more.

“You’re clean, right?” I ask.

He nods. “I asked them to check me up thoroughly in the hospital. Totally spotless.”

I grin. “Good. Me too.”

My head drifts closer to his shaft and I start to kiss it. Each peck makes him shiver with delight. My tongue comes out and swivels across the length. Jack lets his head rest against the wall an
d lets out an exasperated sigh. He’s giving up. Good.

I wrap my lips around the head
, and his eyes jerk open. Right as I let him slip inside, he watches me. His eyes hungry, aching for more. I try to go as slow as possible, but my excitement is getting the better of me. I’m not far away from frenzy. He tastes good, especially after this shower, and his hotness is mind-blowing. I want him, more and more. I can’t stop.

He does it for me.

His fingers dig into my skin as he pulls me by my shoulders. “Please,” he says.

I leave little licks on his cock, and it makes him hiss. But still, he keeps nudging me closer. He leans in and rests his head on my forehead. His lips find a way to mine, and I can feel the desperation seep from him.

In between the kissing, he takes quick breaths and forms a slur of words. “I want you.”

“Yes,” I mutter. “I want you, too. Let me do this.”

Jack pulls me closer and upwards. “No, I want to feel you. I want to be in you. Please, let me be inside you.”

He drags me up to my feet and tugs me
closer. I know what he means, what he wants. He needs to be with me, to feel my body, my heart, to be connected with me. Not just in a physical way. Just giving head could never provide that. Having him inside me could.

So I lift his cock and slowly dip down. As his tip pushes inside me, I gasp, and he lets out a moan. His muscles are hard and constrained, probably because it’s hard for him to hold back. To stop himself from completely ravaging me. I want him to do it, though.

I lower myself farther and feel the width of his cock inside me, filling me perfectly. The sizeable length still catches me off guard, because I’m used to so much less than this. It’s quite arousing.

When I settle down on his lap, he gazes into my eyes and licks his lips.
Being so close to him, so joined, makes me feel whole, but so unprotected at the same time. To me, this is the ultimate form of trust. To be in this position, so bare, both fragile, means that you give each all you are. That you show your weakness and your desires. Your nooks and dimples. The scars on your body. Each and every flaw exhibited. Your face the way it contorts as you come undone. The most precious things are hidden in the deepest crooks of your heart and mind, and they get spilled during this awe inducing intense connection.

And I want to give him my all.

With his hands on my butt, I let his slick cock slide in and out of me. He uses his lips to nip my breasts as I undulate on top of him. He treats them with care, and licks them feverishly as I moan in delight.

Jack does so many things to me. He makes me feel safe, wanted. Makes me think I’m sexy. With him I feel beautiful, and my insecurities vanish. With him I feel loved.

I twirl my fingers through his long brown hair and lick my lips. His fingers dig into my skin, and my head drops back to enjoy this rhythmic rocking we’re doing. My breasts go up and down, and when one of them grazes his lips I’m dying inside.

His cock is pulsing inside me, and I love the way he feels. As if I’m finally complete.

Jack lifts his head and settles his lips on mine. His hot mouth is making me feel delirious, and when he groans inside my mouth I explode.

The convulsions between my thighs set him off, too, and he releases inside me. His warmth fills me up with delicious cream as he
pushes me down on his cock once more. I love it how we both just let it go. How I could see the desperation, the need, the desire inside his dark eyes as he came inside me.

Pursing his lips, exhausted breaths come from his nose, and his eyes are closed. He buries his head in my chest and wraps his arms around me, securing me. I’m so close to him, I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, pounding feverishly as if he’s just run a marathon and I’m the finish line.

His fingers slip smoothly over my skin, every touch sending shivers through my body. One of them rests on the nape of my neck and the other on my spine. He’s holding me close, so tenderly, so full of love, and it makes me want to smother him with kisses and hugs.

He sighs. “
Fuck … I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” I interrupt him. “Don’t
ever
say you’re sorry. Ever.”

He exhales slowly and looks up at me. Those dark brown eyes of his still mesmerize me and make me fall apart.

“But I’m a wreck.”

“So am I
, but this is not a pity fuck, and I don’t want to hear you say it. I wanted this, too. It’s not just you who has needs. I want you, too.”

One eyebrow plucks upward. “You want me?”

The way he says it makes me blush. It’s as if he’s asking me to give in. To tell him that I want this to be more. That I want to be his. Not just in bed, but everywhere.

I get off his lap, but he grabs my wrist and stands up, too. He closes in on me, and now we’re both under the shower again, hot water pouring down on our heads.

“Tell me,” he says. “I wanna hear it.”

“Yes, I want you,” I say, swallowing away my pride. “But I want all of you, and I know that’s not possible right now, but I’m okay with that. For now. But don’t you say sorry. There is
nothing
to be sorry about. Our sex is nothing to be sorry about.”

Jack lets go of my wrist. “Oh, I don’t regret this. None of this.” He inches closer and leaves a small peck on the left corner of my lip, so soft, it almost tickles. “Nor this.” His kiss drags to the center of my lips and he leaves another quick peck. “
I only regret not being able to give you more.”

I gasp at his words and his sweet kisses that are setting me abla
ze again.

“I want you, Amy. I want to be with you, but I want to take it slow, too. I want
to know this is right, and not feel ashamed when I do this, when I make love to you. To know that it’s okay to move on and love someone else. To love you.” He gazes into my eyes with a fiery passion. “I don’t want you to have to deal with a fucked up guy like me, but I don’t want you to leave either.”

“
I don’t care about all that. I want it to be you, Jack. I don’t want anyone else anymore,” I whisper, and my breath is caught in my throat.

Water drops drip down his long hair and make him look so goddamn sexy. He inhales close to my mouth, as if he’s trying to suck out the words. Every inch of my love.

“Please tell me you won’t leave,” he lisps against my mouth. “Even if I’m such a fucking mess. I need you …”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer, setting my mouth on his. With a kiss I tell him that I’m not going anywhere. My career is on hold, but I don’t mind. Jack has given me so much more than I could wish for, and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose him. Besides, it’s not like there is anything else out there for me. Jack’s the only thing I got
going for me now, and I don’t intend to let him slip away.

Chapter 5

Jack

I hand her one of my white tees and watch her put it on. It’s way too big for her, but the oversized cotton looks good on her. Somehow the idea of having her wear my things makes me want to grab her, throw her onto my bed, and fuck her all night long.

Shit, things are getting serious now.

Every waking thought I spend thinking about her pretty face and her nice curves. Putting my lips on her mouth and lick her entire body. Hmm … and those nice big
titties.

Yep, I’m definitely fucked now.

I can’t believe she has this effect on me. She makes me tremble with need, and I don’t like it one bit. Well, I do like how she riles me up, but still, it’s not something I’m proud of.

Can I really do this?

Can I really move on and love her?

I want to. I want to so badly, it’s making me chew on the inside of my cheek, and I never do that. Ever.

Fuck, that was good. As my thoughts drift off to her and what she did to me under the shower, makes my lips curl into a vicious smile. She’s really skilled with her mouth and tongue. Hmm … And the way her tight pussy clenched around my cock still gets me stiff just from thinking about it.

And it’s
true; I don’t regret a goddamn thing. I am
not
sorry for having sex with her. I’m just sorry for not being able to forget about Rose. I’m not sure I want to, actually. But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe I can just love both of them. And make love with the one that
is
here. Amy … hmmm, I’d love to fuck her some more. I’m definitely planning on doing that.

I just hope she accepts me for the way I am, for all the misery that’s me. And that she’ll be a part of my life without making it more difficult than it already is.

Who am I kidding? Of course she’s going to make it tough.

Snorting, I put on my sweatpants.

I know I said I’d stop drinking, but I’m not sure if I can hold up that promise. Sure, I can replace the alcohol with sex, that might be a way to kill the pain, but I doubt that’s healthy. And seriously, I do
not
want to build a relationship based on that.

Amy gets into the bed and invites me in with her. I can’t help but smirk at her coy smile, and crawl in with her. Wrapping my arms around her, she buries her head in my chest and nuzzles me. It feels comforting to me, too, in a strange way.
As if I have to protect her, because she’s all I have. Of course, I have Madeline, but that’s not the same. This is a possessive kind of guarding, as if I want to make her stay here and not let her leave. That she’s mine and mine alone to keep.