Blonde With a Wand (21 page)

Lily’s shoulders sagged. “So there is a way to lift it. Whatever it is, we’ll do it. We’ll dance naked in the moonlight on Michigan Avenue if we have to.” She brightened. “Is nakedness involved? Because naked magic is becoming a lost art that should be revived, in my opinion. We could—”

“We don’t have to do anything.” For once Anica was glad her sister was a fruitcake who loved the idea of dancing naked on Michigan Avenue in the moonlight. Lily was a great distraction.

She was also clearly disappointed her naked magic wouldn’t be called for. “What do you mean, we don’t have to do anything?”

“Jasper has to do it all.”

“Jasper?”

“It makes perfect sense when you know why the spell was created.” Anica’s love of history kicked in, which also helped calm her down. “In order to revert from being a tomcat, the man has to perform acts of kindness. In that way, he buys back time, which is granted to him in chunks on each side of midnight.”

“Okay, so saving the mommy cat gave him an hour last night.”

“I think so. I’m not sure what he did to get the first ten minutes the night before, but I’ll bet it had something to do with playing with Orion.”

Lily tossed the towel on the floor and stood. “So it’s tricky, but doable. Let’s go tell him.” She started for the door.

Anica jumped up and grabbed Lily by the arm. “You can’t do that.”

“I didn’t mean
I
would tell him. I think you should do the honors.”

“We can’t tell him at all, or the reversal won’t happen.”

“So how is he supposed to . . .” Her eyes widened. “He has to figure it out for himself.”

“Yes.”

Lily groaned. “Apollo’s ass. That could take freaking forever. What about your magic? Do you get it back in the same increments?”

“Unfortunately, no. My magic won’t return to me until the spell lifts completely.”

“Bummer.” Lily regarded her sister with pity. “Can you, like, give him hints?”

“Nope.”

“How about setting up situations where he’s likely to do the right thing?”

“Nope. Once he correctly identifies the method by which he can change, we can help him search out good deeds, but not until then.”

Lily groaned again. “What a nightmare.”

“Dorcas has researched this problem. According to what she’s found, if he guesses what’s happening and asks me to confirm it, I can do that.”

“Whoopee. By the time that happens you’ll be climbing the walls in frustration.” Lily paused and glanced over at Anica. Slowly she started to grin. “Then again, maybe not.”

“Lily, this isn’t the time to be thinking of sex.”

“Why not? Seems to me he could do many acts of kindness in bed.”

Anica blushed. He already had, and she wondered if his gift of oral sex would count toward his minutes, and if it did, what he’d choose to do with all his extra time. . . .

 

Jasper wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting from Anica’s trip to see the witch and wizard, but he’d thought something would change around here, preferably him. Maybe he’d hoped she’d bring them back to the apartment for some kind of super session of magic with lightning bolts and stuff. At the very least he’d expected her to come back with a bag of evil-smelling but highly effective potions.

But so far this important face time with the witch and wizard had yielded a big fat goose egg. Anica hadn’t looked very happy when she’d come home, and then she and Lily had hidden in the bathroom for a long time. He’d hoped they’d come out with a plan, but if they had one, they weren’t telling.

Matter of fact, they both
left.
It was as if they’d given up on the whole program and abandoned him to his fate. At least he’d figured out one small part of the puzzle. So far whatever minutes he had as a man had been equally distributed on either side of midnight. That would likely continue, but unfortunately he couldn’t predict how much time that would be.

But worrying about his lousy situation didn’t help, so he slept a little. The rain continued to fall, and he spent a fair bit of his day on the windowsill, watching the drops hit and travel uphill. When he had no chance to be productive, he was amazed at the insignificant things that amused him.

Still, he had the urge to do
something
to improve his situation. Hopping onto the desk chair, he turned on the computer.

E-mail was out of the question. There was too much of it, and he couldn’t be his usual glib self one paw at a time. Besides, if he responded to one thing, people would expect him to respond to the rest.

Better to keep to the cover story that he had a flu bug that was hideously debilitating plus contagious, and he didn’t want to see or hear from anybody until he was himself again. Ha. If only his friends knew how unlike himself he was at the moment.

He could type a big-ass message to Anica, though. He had plenty to say to
her
, and he didn’t have to worry about hitting wrong keys or trying for that breezy tone his friends and work buddies were used to.

Once he’d typed the message, he cruised the Net and ended up going to sites involving animals. Inhabiting a cat’s body had made him far more interested in the animal world than he had been before. He discovered a site where clicking a button prompted a pet food company to donate a dollar to animal rescue. Back in his real life, friends were always suggesting he go on some site or other and do something like this.

He’d never taken the time, but today he didn’t have much else to do, so he clicked the donation button a few hundred times. Couldn’t hurt, and it felt good to do it, sort of like he’d felt when he’d led Anica to the mother cat.

Then he noticed a second button. This was for anyone who felt compelled to donate something themselves, in addition to what the pet food company was giving for the clicks. He thought about that for a while.

If he typed very slowly, he could probably enter his American Express number, which he still remembered. He’d never been much for giving to charity, except now he found himself thinking about the mother cat and her tiny, helpless babies whose eyes hadn’t even opened yet.

So he’d give twenty bucks. So what? Making sure he had the right numbers and expiration date filled in took some doing. He had to provide his address, which probably would mean more junk mail, but he was into the process now, so he painstakingly did that, too.

When he had the thing all ready to go, one more screen popped up and invited him to increase his donation and receive a free newsletter and a bumper sticker, neither of which he wanted. His twenty bucks looked a little puny sitting there in the donation space, though. He could certainly afford more.

Very carefully he added another zero, right at the moment he heard Anica’s key in the lock. She was home! He could finally get answers to the questions he’d typed. In his eagerness, he turned toward the door and his tail twitched, whacking the keyboard.

The distinctive click of a computer key made him glance back at the screen. What the hell? Had his damned tail accidentally added another zero to his donation? Fuckin’ A! He wasn’t giving away two grand to these people he’d never met!

Agitated beyond belief, he went back to the keyboard and tried to hit CANCEL, which was a small button. Instead he hit COMPLETE MY ORDER, which was a humongous button. He watched in horrified fascination as all that money disappeared into cyberspace.

Then a message flashed on, complete with a picture of a soulful-looking puppy. The cheerful message thanked him for his generous donation. It reminded him to expect his newsletter and his bumper sticker within the next two weeks.

Two thousand bucks. There went a flat-screen TV. Or a new sound system. Or season tickets for the Cubs. Or a trip to the Bahamas.

“Playing on the computer, I see.” Anica walked over to the desk.

Oh yeah, he’d been having big fun. He closed down the Internet connection, not wanting her to see what an idiot he’d been.

She set down a small bag before taking off her wet coat and draping it over the desk chair. Then she crouched down and stroked Orion, who had roused from his nap to come and greet her.

Jasper didn’t like Orion getting attention first. From his perch on the desk chair, he reached out a paw and batted at her hair.

“Hey!” She glanced up at him and laughed. “Jealous?” While continuing to pet Orion with her right hand, she scratched behind Jasper’s ears with her left.

He was truly embarrassed that he liked that so much, and even more embarrassed when he responded with a loud purr. Had he no pride? Apparently not, because he arched into her caress and purred louder.

“I went to your condo today and picked up your mail,” she said. “It’s in this bag, and I’ll open it for you if you want. I also took the messages off your answering machine and wrote them down.”

That was good news and bad news. He was glad she’d brought over his mail and snagged his messages, because even a guy down with the flu would do those things. But it was bad news because she must have abandoned the idea that he’d be able to do those things himself anytime soon.

She stopped petting both cats as she stood. “I also watered your plants.” She slipped off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the carpet. “Before I realized they were fake.”

Jasper knew he should be thinking about the mail, the messages and the questions he’d typed for her on the computer. Instead he was staring at her toes.

He hadn’t noticed before that her toenails were painted red. On their dates she’d always worn boots or closed-toe shoes, so he’d had no reason to notice. And last night he’d been too busy to pay attention to her toes.

But now he realized toes were the sort of thing that he could appreciate as both a cat and a man. If he were truly a cat he’d want to jump down and possibly play with them, especially if she wiggled them again. As a man, he wanted to suck them.

Then Orion suddenly leaped on him, but it was a friendly leap, a
Let’s wrestle
sort of leap. Jasper decided to oblige him. It was a satisfying outlet for his excess energy. As Jasper rolled around on the carpet with the orange tabby, he was vaguely aware of Anica humming in the kitchen. He could smell hamburger cooking.

This isn’t so bad, living here with Anica and Orion.
The second the thought floated through his head he wrenched free of Orion and leaped up to the desk, thoroughly appalled. Good God, was he starting to
like
this situation?

Before Anica had come home he’d had a plan, which was to get her to answer some hard questions. Those questions were sitting there on the computer, but he’d allowed himself to be distracted. He’d made no effort to get her to read them and respond.

That was going to be remedied immediately. He touched a key and brought them up on the screen. Then he began to yowl as loud as he could, which sent Orion scurrying into a far corner of the living room.

Anica came running out of the kitchen. “Jasper! What’s wrong? Did Orion do something to you? I thought you were only playing!”

Jasper stopped yowling and put a paw on the computer screen.

“Apparently it’s not about Orion.” Walking over to the desk, Anica glanced at the screen. “That’s it? You wanted me to come and read what you’ve written?”

Jasper meowed.

“Sheesh. You didn’t have to scare me half to death, cat.”

Cat.
Aiming with his paw, he slapped at the keys.

NT A CAT

“Yes, I know,” she said quietly. “Believe me, I know. Let me turn down the heat on the stove,” she said. “Then I’ll come back and read this.”

As if he had a choice. As if he had any power in this situation whatsoever. But he wasn’t going to let her forget about reading his questions. If she didn’t come back in two minutes . . .

But she did. Drying her hands on a towel, she came straight over to the desk and peered at the screen. “Uh-huh.”

His heart pounded faster as she hesitated. They weren’t hard questions, but she wasn’t leaping right out there with answers. He also noticed she was twisting the towel. She was nervous, which made him nervous.

She cleared her throat. “First question, Lily and I aren’t making any more of the potion we gave you before because Dorcas and Ambrose have told me it’s pointless for you to drink that. It won’t do anything.”

He’d been afraid of that, had anticipated it, in fact, which was why he’d typed the second question. IF NT POSHN, WHT

Anica sighed. “I can’t answer that.”

A fountain of swear words erupted in his brain, but he couldn’t say them out loud, so he had to be satisfied with growling, which he did. Repeatedly.

“I know, Jasper. It sucks. As for your third question, what caused you to change back the two times you did, Ambrose and Dorcas say it wasn’t the potion, but I can’t say what it was.”

Now he almost wished he hadn’t forced her to look at the screen. And he was really afraid of her answer to the last question.

She stared at the question for a long time, so long that he was afraid he knew the answer. Still, he had to hear it from her. Better to know the truth.

At last she met his gaze. “I don’t know, Jasper. I honestly don’t know. Listen, I have to go get dinner ready.” She went back into the kitchen.

He felt sick to his stomach as he gazed at the last question he’d typed.

WLL I EVR B A MAN AGN

Anica didn’t see much of Jasper for the rest of the evening, and she wasn’t surprised. In his position, she’d be off somewhere brooding, too. He was stuck in a mess with no clue how to get out. Even the people who were supposed to have a clue weren’t helping him.

She thought about opening his mail to see if anything was urgent, but decided she didn’t have the right to do that. She’d have to ask him first, and he’d retreated to the depths of her bedroom closet. It didn’t take a mind reader to know he didn’t want to be disturbed. Even Orion left him alone.