Blood and Reign (Cassandra Myles Witch Series) (12 page)

Oh! No. I didn’t know if I should die of embarrassment or laugh. “I’m so sorry
, Killian.” I couldn’t hold it back. I laughed and every time I tried to continue, I took another laughing fit. My stomach was aching and my cheeks were running with tears when the fit had finally run its course.

Killian looked a little hurt. “I’m glad you find a crippled man who can’t even raise h
is hands funny. It was horrible.” He tried to look mad, but a smile sprouted across his face.

I started again. “P
-p-p-please stop. I know it’s so mean and inappropriate, but I get this mental image of you trying to cover your ears and I lose it. Pheeew. Okay, I’m sorry. It was so unplanned. I didn’t expect it to happen. I’m so so sorry.”

“
I have very sensitive hearing. Oh, Lucius, yes yes. Oh oh oh. Over and over. Lucius, Lucius.” The look on his face was pure mischief.

It was my turn to pout. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, you were and I’m toning it down.” His face brightened even more. “I’m happy for you. Lucius is a good man and he will be there for you. I’m glad you came around and I’m really glad he isn’t going to kill me for sleeping with you.”

“I’m sorry I told him. I felt I had to.”

“No worries, it all worked out, but when you started to tell him, I was glad vampires don’t have bodily functions. I would have peed my pants.” His face darkened. “You know Dominick came back in the middle of your bliss. It’s why he isn’t here now.”

“Oh, I didn’t
know. I really don’t want to hurt him, Killian. He’s had enough hurt for a lifetime.” I couldn’t believe we had been so wrapped up with each other that we hadn’t heard him come in.

“He’ll be okay
, Cass. We’re all close because of what we went through and you guys have Declan as a bond too. He lost his pack and he is trying to grab onto anything to make him feel connected. He’ll be all right, once he knows you’ll still be there as his friend.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I’ll make sure of it. I owe him one or two.”

“Okay. Thank
you. I wish I could hug you.”

“I’ll be back to hugging shape in no time
, my friend, and then you can have as many as you want.”

“I think I’ll try to sleep again. You made me feel a lot better.”

“Anytime, my friend. I will always be in your corner and have your back.”

I kissed his forehead and went back to my room. Killian was such an amazing man. He was in so much pain and he still m
ade me feel better. I would do anything to make sure Quintus never laid another hand on him again.

Dominick was sitting on my bed when I came out of the room. He was dirty from his run in the
woods and he had streaks of tears running down his face. Taking him into my arms, I just held him. He was shaking and I didn’t know what to do. I started to stroke his hair and he laid his head in my lap. He had never looked more like his brother than he did right now. My heart felt like it was being crushed.

“We can still be your pack. You mean the worl
d to me, Dominick. We’re family.” He reached for my hand and kissed it.

“Cass, I’m sorry
; none of this is your fault. I’ve just been clinging to you since you came here. I had my anger to keep me sane before you got here and then when I found out you were family, it was like a lifeline. You were here. You loved my brother. You were the only person alive that had a tie to my pack. I know you’re human and you weren’t Declan’s mate for very long, but it was something. It was like I hadn’t lost everything.”

I was crying. His pain was in the air, on my skin, in my lungs. I was drowning in it
. How did he survive every day with this kind of burden?

“When I saw you with Lucius, I knew
I couldn’t pretend anymore. I’m alone, Cass. I’m a lone wolf. Do you know what happens to most of us? Those who lose their pack. They usually go feral. They run in their wolf form so long that they never come back.”

“You wouldn’t
do that. Please. I’m so sorry.”

“Sshh, don’t. It isn’t your fault. I used to wonder how they could do that.
We had a guy who tried to kill his mate. He was banished from the pack. That’s how lone wolves usually happen. I just always thought they were misfits to begin with. They weren’t normal wolves, so going lone was just part of that. Now I know. When you have a pack, you feel them with you. It’s like knowing you belong. When that is cut off…”

He was shaking and I continued to run my fingers through his hair. “The lone
liness, Cass. Imagine being held by everyone you love and then they just disappear. You feel cold, empty, and so alone. When you’re in your wolf, everything is so simple. Your instinct and hunger, but never is there this kind of pain. The relief seduces you until you never come back.”

“I still need you and so does Killian. Please don’t leave us. Please.”

“I won’t leave until I know Killian is okay. That Irish bastard has grown on me. I was raised to look out for those I love. I’ll wait until he’s healed, then I’ll have to decide.” He smiled, but it was a sad, knowing smile. “Sometimes, people go mad because of all the voices in their heads. I think I’m going mad because of the silence.”

He sat up and we hugged. I d
idn’t want to let him go. Would I ever see him again if I did? We parted reluctantly. He pressed his lips to mine, nothing more, but it was so gentle, so loving, it brought tears to my eyes. Then he was gone. I crawled into my bed and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, I had a hangover without the benefit of having a good time the night before. My eyes were puffy and I was exhausted. I had mixed feelings about the day. I wanted to see Lucius. Just the thought of him made me feel giddy, but Dominick was going through so much and I really didn’t know how to help him. I wanted him to be okay, but sometimes, we don’t always get what we want. I forced myself from bed and made my way to the sitting room.

The table
was covered with scones and jam. Then the sweetest morning smell hit me. Something I hadn’t had in so long, I couldn’t help but smile. A steaming pot of coffee sat waiting for me. Ruby was a gem. How did she know that of all mornings, today I needed that sweet elixir the most.

“Your
Majesty, I have a surprise.” She could barely contain her glee, shifting from foot to foot.

“I know
; I can smell it and I think you are amazing.”

“
I was talking to your Lucius and I asked him what he thought you might miss from home and he told me coffee. I had someone check the wolf compound and they had some.” The words flew out of her mouth faster and faster, the next so eager to get out, it pushed the one in front out of the way.

“You are a marvel. I’m very lucky to have you here
. Now please, sit and join me. I hate to eat alone.”

She sat opposite me, swallowed up by the
fae-sized chair. Even I barely touched the floor with my toes while sitting in them. It made me feel short.

“Ruby
, this is going to sound insane, but I’ve only met people with titles and the lesser fae, are there no…ummm … just regular fae? I mean villages with people who live and work?”

“None who would admit to being regular.” She laughed a hearty laugh for one so tiny. “There are
, of course, other areas of the fae realm. Other fae who aren’t Lords or Ladies live there, but they aren’t, say, farmers or builders; those duties are left to us. I haven’t been there in a long time, but they are rich houses. They usually have talents that give them power instead of titles. Mostly a magical talent or a knowledge of the legends. Some have power over nature and the elements. Some fae are so close to nature they live in the woods, lakes, and ocean. I’m afraid we lost a lot of those fae when our magic was cut off, but maybe they just faded and they will come back.”

“How am I
to rule here when I know so little?” The more I learned, the more questions I had.

“You will learn it all. It just takes a bit of time.”
Her small hand reached over and patted mine.

“Why aren’t any of those people here?”

“I think some are. They await your decision on the goblin pairings. Some of the dark fae are here, having nowhere to go after they were released from their prison. Homes they once had would be long gone, I would imagine.”

“This just keeps getting worse. How can these people get along and trust one another again?”

“It won’t be an easy road.” She slowly reached her hand across the table and laid it onto mine. She smiled and that made her beautiful. “I know you can do it. You can because you want to and you have no hidden agenda, but you will have to make some very hard decisions. The seelie and unseelie hate change. Even when it benefits them. You have to drag them forward, but I know you can do it.”

Someone was at
the door and Ruby let them in. Eli strode across the floor and gave me a slight bow.

“Thank
you so much for coming, Eli.”

“It’s my
job, Your Majesty, and you have given me back the power of healing. It’s weak and not as reliable as it once was, but every day, I feel a little stronger. It has been so long since I could heal anyone. I felt very useless for a long time.”

“What you are about to do will save the life of someone I hold very dear. I can’t think of anything more useful than that.”

We went straight to Killian’s room. He was awake, waiting for us. I didn’t know how he slept at all. Dominick slipped in quietly behind us. He must have been waiting outside for Eli to get here.

Eli
sat on a chair beside the bed. He opened his bag and took out a couple bottles and a short metal rod. “Killian, I’ve been thinking of the best way to do this. Ideally, I’d like to do every bone in one go, but I don’t think you have the strength. I do think you can survive doing your whole torso and your arms and hands. You won’t be able to walk, but you’ll have the use of your hands and you should be able to sit up.”

“Whatever you think
, doc. Anything will be better than the way I am now. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.”

Dominick sat at the end of the bed and gently placed his hand on Killian’s leg. They smiled at each other. I felt faint. I didn’t know if I could watch him go through this. I was being a coward and I knew it.

“I’m going to explain everything first so there are no surprises. I have a salve that will numb you somewhat, if it even works on vampires, but I don’t have to tell you how painful this procedure is going to be. I will go as quickly as possible. Once I am satisfied I can reset all the bones on your upper half, I will do so. This may be even more painful. You will feel your bones moving around inside you. Finally, I have decided to give you my blood; fae blood is more powerful than human or werewolf and should heal you much quicker. Are you ready, Killian?”

“Yes, please
, let’s just do this. I only ask if I start screaming like a little girl, you don’t tell anyone.”

He took one of Killian’s hands and held it in his.
He opened a large bottle of salve and started to spread it over Killian’s upper half. “Have you ever had fae blood?”

“No
, Eli, I haven’t had the pleasure.”

“
Vampires find us very tasty. When I pull back, all I ask is that you let go. In your weakened state, I don’t see it being a problem. I just wanted to warn you that you may feel a strong compulsion to keep drinking.”

Killian nodded and waited for Eli to begin. The healer took
Killian’s hand in his. The first snap made me jump. The next round came in rapid succession. Vampire bubble wrap. Pop pop pop, each one punctuated with a blood-curdling scream. I squeezed my eyes shut, but that made the noise even more horrifying. I felt sick and weak. The room was starting to spin and I felt the food in my stomach trying to escape. I couldn’t stay here. I was panicking and I had to leave.

Stopping my own screams from joining the chorus
, I slipped out of the room. I leaned over a chair, trying to catch my breath, my burning lungs gulping in as much air as they could. I didn’t feel far enough away. His screams still echoed in my ears. Without thinking, I ran into the hallway. The nausea subsided, but terror gripped me by the throat as soon as I shut the door behind me. It washed over me, fear sinking into every pore. I could feel a danger I couldn’t see.

My head whipped back and forth, looking for some imagined monster.
A cold sweat peppered my skin. My legs wobbled beneath me and my breathing came in labored whines. Tears streamed down my cheeks, clouding my vision. My body started to shake violently.

A shadow crept around the corner.
No form or shape, just a lump of black spreading across the floor. I watched, helpless, as the shadow got longer and longer until the caster came into sight. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but I couldn’t bring the figure into focus. I opened my mouth, but instead of the scream I wanted, a low squeak fell from my lips. Like a trapped animal, I knew only escape, no matter the cost. I needed back inside my room. My fingernails scratched against the door. All logical thought was gone.