Blood & Thunder (33 page)

“Better stitches than dead,” Sloane replied, “Calvin, the files are in Isaac’s pocket. Get them to Lieutenant Sparks.” He looked up to find Dr. Shultzon standing before him, smiling warmly.

Sloane swallowed hard and gave him a nod. “Abraham.” Words and emotions bubbled up from somewhere deep inside, but Sloane forced them back down. This was neither the time nor the place. He’d been sixteen the last time he’d seen the man who’d changed his life in so many ways.

There was a commotion down the hall as backup arrived, including Maddock who ran over to Sloane’s side and dropped to his knees beside Dex. “What happened? Is he okay?”

Dex shook his head groggily, his lids growing heavy. “I need to kill the doctor….” He groaned, his head lolling to one side before he was out. Sloane debriefed quickly, though he would be filing a full report of the incident as soon as he got back to headquarters. The medics arrived, and Sloane stood, reluctant to leave Dex’s side as they readied him for transport. Hudson and Nina gave Sloane grave nods as they walked past him to Isaac. Sloane couldn’t help but note the way Isaac had fallen, the position he was in as he lay in a pool of his own blood, as Dex had in Sloane’s nightmare. At least the real nightmare was over. Isaac Pearce was dead. Unable to help himself, he crouched down beside him, staring into his eyes, and speaking quietly.

“I hope you rot in hell, you son of a bitch.” Maybe that made him a bad person, maybe he should be more forgiving, but fuck that. The bastard had killed Gabe, had kidnapped Sloane, and tortured him. He’d set off a bomb in a youth center, and then taken Dex with the intention of having Sloane kill his lover. No, there was no forgiveness in Sloane’s heart for Isaac Pearce. Men like Isaac deserved what they got in the end, and if that meant Sloane was as fucked up as the rest of them, so be it. That wouldn’t stop him from going after guys like Isaac. It was up to them whether they ended up walking out, or wheeled out.

Sloane stood, his sight down the hall where the EMTs were wheeling Dex away.

“Go ahead,” Maddock said. “We’ll clean up. Lieutenant Sparks is on her way. She wants to see for herself what’s going on here. Someone’s not been completely honest with her, and you know how pissed she gets when they keep her in the dark about these things.”

Thanking Maddock, Sloane rushed off, hoping to make it to the ambulance before it drove off with his partner. The worst was over, but it wasn’t completely over. He doubted the Order was going to simply disappear because Isaac Pearce was dead.

As Sloane rushed down the stairs, he thought about how close he had come to losing Dex. He had a lot to think about, and although he knew it would end up changing what was between them, Sloane knew what he had to do.

S
LOANE
PLACED
a frothy cappuccino dusted with chocolate powder on the coffee table beside the couch, hoping it might help get Dex out of his funk. His partner had been given some time off for his leg, though the stitches would fall off soon. The wound hadn’t been deep, and although Dex had sulked for a few days after Sloane had told him what happened, he understood why Sloane had done what he did. Dex was more pissed off over not being able to remember anything since he’d been injected. He’d started to feel guilty, but Sloane put a quick stop to that. He couldn’t let his partner drive himself crazy with what-ifs. Isaac was dead, Shultzon was safe, and Dex was alive. That’s all that mattered.

Isaac’s men had been rounded up, but the Therians who’d attacked the Order’s followers had all escaped, retreating when THIRDS backup arrived. Calvin had handed the files over to Lieutenant Sparks, who’d been mighty pissed when she was shown the lab Dex had been drugged in. They’d been informed the facility was closed for good, and an investigation was underway for who was using the lab, and why, though Sloane wasn’t buying any of it. It was undoubtedly more cloak-and-dagger shit from their organization. Dr. Shultzon asked Sloane if he’d like to meet up for coffee, and Sloane said he would consider it. He’d taken Shultzon’s number. Once Dex had been released from the hospital, Sloane had stayed with his partner to take care of him, growing more worried by the day at Dex’s stillness.

“I can’t keep doing this.”

Sloane stopped on the way to the kitchen and turned around. “What?”

“Pretending it doesn’t hurt every time you push me away. Pretending I’m okay with the way things are. I said I would wait for you, and I would, that I would take things as they came, okay. I understand you needing time. I do, but this getting close only to run in the other direction kills me. We’ve been through a lot of shit together, and every time, you act like it’s no big deal. After what happened in the facility, I realized… I want more.”

“You’re right.” Sloane couldn’t put it off any longer. “I don’t know how you can look at me the way you do, now that you know.”

Dex looked down at his fingers with a frown. “I didn’t read the file.”

“What?” Sloane came around the couch to look at Dex. “But… you had it in your hands. Everything about me was in there.”

Closing his eyes, Dex drew in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he met Sloane’s gaze head on, and Sloane was taken aback by the intensity he saw there. “I want to get to know you, Sloane, the real you, not through clinical accounts from some shrink. I want to hear it from you. I want you to trust me. When you’re ready to do that, I’ll be here to listen.”

Sloane could see Dex’s heartache, and he hated being the cause of it. Dex was right. They couldn’t keep going the way they were. “I was fourteen when I tried to kill myself.” Sloane took a seat on the coffee table across from Dex, his hands clasped between his knees. “Dr. Shultzon found me and put me back together, physically and mentally. By then I was with the THIRDS. He was convinced I was a viable asset, that I wasn’t the soulless animal I’d been convinced I was. But I was so messed up, I couldn’t do it. I was so scared.

“The first time I almost died, I was eleven years old and living in a padded cell, waiting for the day I’d either go as crazy as they said I was, or find a way to end it all. I was never supposed to have gotten out of there. Somehow, Shultzon found me, fought to get custody. Well technically I was property of the U.S. government.” Sloane frowned at the memory. “He was nice to me. That’s all it took for me to agree to anything he told me.”

“That night you, you mentioned a ‘her.’ Who was she?”

“My mother.” Sloane took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the ache in his heart a familiar deep throbbing he knew would remain there for the rest of his life. “I killed her, Dex. I killed my mother.” He braced himself for a gasp, for the horror—or worse, pity, in Dex’s eyes, but it never came, only a gentle touch to Sloane’s hand as Dex leaned forward, his voice gentle.

“What happened?”

“You’ve met me and Ash. Any other First Gens you meet will be as fucked up or more, depending how well they’ve learned to cope. When our first shift happened, there were no classes, no First Shift Response Kits, or Therian Youth Centers. I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me. No one knew what was happening. When we were born, all our parents had been told was that we were different, our DNA was different. They wanted to study us, find out what was wrong with us. My father blamed himself. He’d fought in Vietnam, came back infected like so many of the others with the Melanoe Virus. He was one of the lucky ones to survive, even after the Eppione.8 vaccine was administered.

“He was just another Human unaware of how it was changing his blood, how it would change my mother’s, how the mutation would solidify itself in their unborn son. I was born healthy, looking like any other Human baby, except for my eyes.” Sloane let out a humorless laugh. “They thought the mutation was in my eyes. They had no idea. The first time I shifted, I was terrified. The pain was excruciating, and I thought I was going to die. It was like I was trapped inside this animal, looking out at my parents, with no control over my own body. I wanted what any frightened child wanted, his mother.” Sloane swiped at a tear rolling down his cheek, his bottom lip quivering as he attempted to continue, his voice breaking. “I grabbed hold of her, and my claws….” He looked down at his hands and shook his head. He could still see the blood. “I didn’t know. I couldn’t understand what was happening until my father threw me into the wall. I saw her, lying there so still, blood everywhere. When I tried to go to her, my father kicked me. He lost it. If the police hadn’t arrived, he would have killed me. The names he called me….”

Dex rubbed his hand soothingly over Sloane’s head, brushing his hair tenderly away from his face. Sloane leaned into the touch, his eyes closed as he continued.

“The police arrested him. And me? You know who came for me? Animal Control. The most fucked up part? I’d shifted back by then. Here I was, this scrawny little kid, naked, covered in blood, and I was dragged away by Animal Control. I was institutionalized. My father killed himself shortly after. It was all in that file. What happened with my parents, the institution I was in, the hell that came after, all the way up until I was recruited, how Dr. Shultzon was the one who decided to give us a second chance at life, who understood, but it came with a price. They would turn us into agents for their new organization, but they had to study us first, understand us. Every day there were tests and more tests, poking, prodding, shifting under predefined conditions.” He straightened and wiped his eyes. “You should know those meetings you think I go to every month aren’t meetings, at least not work related. They’re psych evals.”

“Aren’t those quarterly?” Dex asked, puzzled.

“These aren’t the standard ones. They’re to make sure I don’t have a relapse. When Gabe died, I was sent to a rehabilitation center just in case. Although they didn’t know about our relationship, they knew we were really close. They were afraid I might go off the rails. It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened to a First Gen agent. The THIRDS is good with keeping that sort of thing quiet. Ash is the only one who knows all this, because he was there with me. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have made it this far.” He let out a heavy sigh, his chest feeling somewhat less constricted now that he’d confessed everything. He was afraid to look up, afraid at what he might see. Dex was a sweet, compassionate man, but that was it. He was a man, a Human. He couldn’t ever truly understand what it meant to be… different.

“Hey.”

Dex’s soft voice forced Sloane to look up, and he drew in a sharp breath, speechless by the loving smile on Dex’s face, his eyes filled with warmth and concern.

“What happened wasn’t your fault. Thank you for your honesty, but I have to tell you that now that I know….”

Sloane braced himself, his heart in his throat.

“I think you’re even more amazing. Everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve suffered, and look at you. You go out there, and you risk your life for this city and the citizens in it. No matter how much shit they throw your way, what they call you, how they see you, you get up every morning, and you do what you gotta do. I know I gave you shit about you being
the
Sloane Brodie, but the truth is, you are, and everyone respects you for it. I respect you.”

Sloane opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say to that. Dex smiled at him, and Sloane dropped to his knees in front of Dex. He threw his arms around him and drew him close, his face pressed to Dex’s chest. “Thank you,” Sloane managed to whisper, squeezing Dex tight. He closed his eyes as Dex ran his fingers through Sloane’s hair. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but after a while, Sloane stood and took a seat beside Dex, summoning up the courage Dex so adamantly believed he possessed.

“Dex?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to ask you something. Feel free to say no. Are you…. Are you busy Friday night?”

Dex blinked at him. “Not for you. Why?”

Deep breath.
“I thought maybe we could go to Jersey, and uh, go on a date. Something other than the usual burgers and beers. There’s this restaurant, and—”

“You want to take me to a restaurant?” Dex’s jaw hung open.

“Yeah.” Sloane shrugged, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering madly. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling. “That’s what boyfriends do. Take each other out. Date.”

Dex’s grin was the most beautiful thing Sloane had ever seen. “You said ‘boyfriend’ without losing consciousness.”

Sloane chuckled. “I did.” Dex bit his bottom lip, and Sloane could tell he was bursting with excitement. He’d done that. He’d put that smile on his lover’s face, that sparkle of mischief and affection in his eyes. As much as his head told him to run, his heart fought him to stay.

“I’d love to go out on a date.”

Sloane drew Dex into his arms, mindful of his leg and kissed him. The thought of being in a relationship again scared the hell out of him, but it wasn’t nearly as frightening as the thought of having almost lost Dex. He knew their job was dangerous, and they never knew which day might be their last, but shouldn’t he then try to make the most of his time with those he cared about? He cared about Dex, wanted to be with him. Loved holding him, kissing him, touching him. Loved his jokes, and his strange taste in music. His obsession with cheese snacks, and love of gummy bears. Sloane was still uncertain about so much, about their future, but he wanted to try.

Dex kissed him passionately, his arms around Sloane’s neck. They took things slow, exploring, tasting, breathing in each other. Sloane leaned into Dex when his cell phone went off.

“Fuck’s sake.” He snatched it up off the coffee table and groaned.

“What is it?”

“Your dad. I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he knew, because he has one hell of a way of ruining the mood.” Sloane answered the call and held the phone to his ear. “Sarge, what can I do for you?”

“You with Dex?”

“Yeah.”

“Put me on speaker.”

Sloane put his phone on speaker and placed it back on the coffee table.

“Please, don’t say it,” Dex groaned at his dad.