Blossoms of Love (54 page)

Neither one slept much that night. He just held her in his arms and they talked about when they first met. Then their life together now. Barbara finally went to sleep about dawn.

Lamont slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her. He made coffee and was sitting at the table drinking a cup of the coffee when Sara came in the kitchen. Sara said, “Monty you’re up early.” Lamont said, “I couldn’t sleep.” Sara asked, “Anything wrong?” He answered, ‘Yea, plenty.” Sara looked at him, “You look worried.” Lamont poured another cup of coffee, “Barbara’s got to go to the hospital today. She has to be operated on.” Sara said in a surprised voice, “Barbara?” Lamont said, “She’s got a lump on her breast. She’s had it three months. I wish to hell I’d known it sooner.” Sara tried to comfort him, “Monty it may not be cancer. Sometimes it’s only a tumor.” Lamont said, “Dr. Morris is pretty sure it is malignant.” Sara had never seen Lamont so worried. She said, “We must have faith in God. Trust in him. He has blessed you many times. He will again.”

It was after eight o’clock before Barbara woke. Lamont told Jesse why he wouldn’t be on the range. By noon the whole Ellman family knew about Barbara. Just before leaving for the hospital, Lamont got the boys and told them to sit down that he wanted to talk to them. Even Robbie as young as he was sensed his father’s seriousness. Lamont said, “Boys, your mother has to go to the hospital today. Perhaps tomorrow she will have to be operated on.” Robbie said, “I don’t want Mommy to go.” Jimmy asked, “Will she be gone long?” Lamont said, “I don’t know.” Lamont looked at his sons, “Now I want you both to mind Sara. I will be spending most of my time at the hospital until Barbara gets over the operation. Will you promise me you won’t give Sara a lot of trouble?” They both promised him. Lamont smiled, “Good, I’m going to depend on your word.” Jimmy asked, “Will she die like Momma did?” Children were so out spoken. Lamont said, “Look Jimmy, everyone has to go to the hospital sometime in their life. Just because you go to the hospital doesn’t mean you will die. Dr. Morris is going to help Mom get well.”

Barbara came out of her bedroom with an overnight case. She kissed Robbie, “You be a good boy.” Robbie promised, “I will Mommy.” She hugged Robbie close to her and held him for a second. Then she said to Jimmy, “I’m counting on you to help Sara watch after Robbie because you’re a big boy.” Jimmy said, “I will Mom.” Barbara looked at Jimmy. He’d never called her Mom before. She held him in her arms, “I love you Jimmy.”

The boys followed Barbara and Lamont to the car. Sara said, “Now don’t you worry Barbara, I’ll take good care of everything here. You just hurry and get well.” Jesse said, “That’s right, you just get well.” Barbara smiled, “I’ll be back soon.”

On their way to the hospital, Barbara told Lamont not to do this and not to do that. He knew she was just talking to keep from crying. He parked the car in front of the hospital. Lamont winked at her and said, “Okay I’ve got my orders now let’s go get this damn thing over with so we can continue our life together.”

When she was settled in her room, they let Lamont go in to see her for only a few minutes. He looked down at her lying in bed, “Now ain’t you the cream of the crop?” She joked, “I feel like a sifter they’ve stuck me with so many needles. I bet I don’t have much blood left in me either. They’ve taken my blood twice already.” Lamont asked, “Feeling okay?” She said, “Yes, in fact I feel sort of silly lying here in bed and I feel just fine.” He leaned over and kissed her, “I’m leaving now. I want to catch Dr. Morris at his office. I’ll be back tonight.” She smiled, “You better or I won’t stay.” He grinned, “You get some rest.” She laughed, “What else could I do?”

That night Barbara had plenty of visitors. All the Ellmans, Carolyn and David, and some friends. When it was time for visiting hours to be over, they all left so Lamont would have a few minutes alone with her. She took Lamont’s hand, “Well darling, tomorrow is d-day.” Lamont kissed her hand, “We’ll come through it with flying colors.” She sat up in bed, “Hold me Monty. Just hold me for a minute.” He motioned for her to get off the bed and sit on his lap. When she did, he held her close to him. For a long time they just held each other, not saying a word. Then Barbara said, “Monty.” He answered, “Humm?” She said, “If it is cancer and they take my breast off--.” Lamont said, “Babe will you stop worrying about how I’ll feel about that? I’ll love you if they took them both off. All that worries me is the cancer, if they can get all of it. I need you Barb. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you. I’m use to sleeping with you.” She smiled, “Oh you crazy man.” He put her back in bed, “Now you keep that beautiful butt of yours in bed and get a good nights rest.” She said, “Yes sir Mr. Ellman.” He said, “I’ll see you early in the morning. I’ll be here before they take you to surgery.” She said, “You better or I’ll just refuse to go.” He looked down at her, “I’ll be here.” He kissed her very tenderly, “I love you babe.”

When he was gone, she cried. She thought her and Lamont had been so happy. Was this the turning point in their life? Was two years all they were allowed? She was only thirty five and Lamont thirty eight. She cried until the nurse came in and saw how upset she was. Then she gave her a shot and she was soon asleep.

Morning came and Barbara didn’t have time to think. They began preparing her for surgery. Just before Lamont came in the room, they gave her a tiny pill and it was making her relax. It was raining. Far in the distance was thunder. She said to the nurse, “The weather suits my disposition this morning. I don’t dread the operation but I’m scared. Oh God how I’m afraid.” The nurse said, “Try not to be Mrs. Ellman. I’ll be back in just a minute.” Barbara thought, “Where is Monty? I need his courage. Maybe the rain has slowed him down.” The rain was hitting the window. It was raining very hard. She thought of Robbie and Jimmy. She loved them both so much. She looked at her watch lying on the night stand by the bed. Her eyes were blurry. It was the pill they’d given her. It was twenty minutes until eight. She pulled at the hospital gown. She hated them. They were so uncomfortable. Her hair was covered in a white cap. She thought of how awful she must look, “I bet I look like a freak.” She heard someone come in the room. She thought it was the nurse with another pill. She opened her eyes and saw it was Lamont. She teased, “I thought you’d never get here.” Lamont said, “Babe I’ve been here. I’ve been waiting to see you for about thirty minutes.” Barbara sighed, “I bet I look like a freak with all this garb on.” Lamont said, “No more than usual in the morning.” She said, “Monty!” He laughed. How wonderful it was to see his beautiful smile. He was trying so hard to keep her in good spirits but she saw the worry in his eyes. His eyes always gave away his feelings. She reached up and touched his face, “I love you Monty.” Lamont kissed, “I love you too babe. You just keep remembering that. No matter how the operation comes out, you’re my girl. You’ll always be my girl. It took us a long time to find out we were for each other.” She said, “Correction, it took you. I knew a long time ago.” Lamont said, “Okay so you’re smarter than me.” Barbara smiled, “Oh so you finally admit it. I’m gonna hold you to that statement.” He took her hand and pressed it to his lips, “You do that kitten.” Barbara asked, “How are the boys?” Lamont said, “Robbie sends his love and Jimmy said to tell you he was glad you’re his mother.” Barbara said, “I finally won him over?” Lamont said, “Yea, in a big way.”

A nurse came in and gave Barbara a shot. Barbara asked, “Is it time?” The nurse said, “Yes dear. They will be after you in just a minute.” Barbara’s fingers tightened around Lamont’s hand. He leaned over and kissed her again. Another nurse came in the room, “Sorry sir—you’ll have to leave, we’re taking her to surgery.” Barbara looked up at him, “See you later.” He kissed her hand, “Sure, I’ll be waiting.”

He went out of the room and down the corridor to the waiting room. His whole family was there except Mrs. Ellman who stayed with Sara to help her care for all the Ellman children. As Barbara was wheeled to the operating room, even though she felt sleepy, she saw Lamont’s face—his beautiful smile that made his face light up and show his even, white teeth.

Just before falling asleep, she could hear doctors and nurses talking. She opened her eyes but she couldn’t focus them. All she could make out was green clothes and those awful bright lights. Then Barbara faded into nothingness.

Lamont couldn’t be still. Leon went over to the window where Lamont was looking out, “Everything will be alright Monty.” He looked at Leon, “I hope you’re right.” Then Allen talked to him. More spiritually than otherwise. That seemed to help him for a while. After three hours passed, Lamont began to get tied up in knots. Berry said, “Monty these kinds of operations last a long time.” Lamont just stood looking out the window. Johnny said, “I’m going to get us some coffee.” Ellen and Ann went with him to help him bring it all back. Alice was sitting by Carolyn, “Poor Monty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so worried.” Carolyn said, “The operation is very serious and could be fatal if it’s spread very much.” Cindy said, “I feel sorry for Barbara. Why do things happen to good people like Barbara?” Allen said, “We aren’t suppose to know these things.”

David got up from his chair and went over to Lamont. He put his arm on Lamont’s shoulder, “Look bud, I’m not gonna tell you everything will be alright because I’m just as scared as you are, but you’ve got to get yourself together. Barbara’s gonna need you later.” Lamont ran his fingers through his hair, “Dave, if anything happens to her, I’m done for. She’s my whole life. I love Robbie and Jimmy very much but I just realized, I’ve built my life around her.” He hit his fist against his hand, “Why did this have to happen to her?” He turned and looked at David, “Do you know what she is to me? She’s my anchor, my angel of mercy. Dave, she’s my love.”

They came back with the coffee. After another hour passed, Lamont said, “I’ve got to find out something.” He started towards the door. Johnny stopped him, “They can’t tell you anything at the nurses station.” Lamont looked at his oldest brother, “Why is it taking so long?” Carolyn said, “Monty these kinds of operations take a long time.” Berry said to Leon, “He needs something to calm him down.” Lamont heard him, “All I need is for that damn doctor to tell me something. This waiting is hell.”

He had drank most of his coffee when suddenly, he put the cup down, “I’m going to find out something or I’ll tear this damn hospital apart.” They knew he meant every word of it. He started for the door again. Leon and David got between him and the door, “Get out of my way.” Leon said, “Monty there’s other patients here and those nurses don’t know any more than you do.” Just then Dr. Morris, still wearing his green clothes and his head tied up with a mask around his neck, came in. They all looked at him. It was very quiet—too quiet. Dr. Morris looked very serious and sad. Lamont just stood looking at him. Dr. Morris said, “Monty it was cancer. I had to remove her breast but I’m sure we got all the damaged tissue. She came in a good time. A few more months and it would have been fatal. I think she will be alright. I’ll talk with you later about the treatments she must have.” Lamont asked, “When can I see her?” Dr. Morris said, “In about ten minutes but only for five minutes.” She will be in intensive care for several days. She’ll be heavily sedated for some time. I’ll make arrangements for you to see her only for a few minutes every day for a while. Monty, it’s always hard on a woman to loose her breast. She will be moody and depressed but with your help, that will pass in time.”

As he waited for the nurse to come to tell him he could see Barbara, he thought, “I still have her to love and cherish. Thank you God. How wonderful it is for a man to love a woman so much.”

A nurse came to the door, “Mr. Ellman, you can see your wife now.” He went with her on the elevator to the next floor. Then they walked down the long corridor to the intensive care. It was very quiet. The smell of antiseptics and medicine was strong. The nurse said, “You can only stay five minutes.” He walked over to Barbara’s bed and looked down at her. She was bandaged around her chest. There were tubes in her nose. He leaned over and kissed her. He said softly, even thought he knew she wouldn’t hear him, “I’ve already thanked God for letting me keep you. We’ve made it again babe. I thought I’d go crazy down there waiting. Hurry and get well my love.”

When he went back to the waiting room, everyone was still there anxiously waiting for him to get back. He smiled, “She really looks pretty good considering what she’s been through. She never knew I was there but I do think she will be alright.” Their faces all looked relieved. Lamont said, “I want to thank all of you for coming and putting up with me. I’m sorry I sounded off the way I did.” Berry said, “Forget it. We would have been the same way.” Johnny grinned, “I thought we were gonna have to knock you out once if you’d started out the door.” Leon said, “Yea, you would have turned this hospital upside down.” David laughed, “He wasn’t going any where. I was ready to clobber him.” Lamont sighed, “Was I really that bad?” Allen said, “You were just worried.” Lamont said, “I hope I never have to go through anything like that again. I thought nothing could be worse than when I was POW. This was. In there, I was being hurt but today I stood a chance of loosing everything and believe me, it sure gives you a knot in the bottom of your stomach and an empty heart.” David said, “Well it’s all over with. Let’s all go home.”

Lamont didn’t go home. He wanted to be there when Barbara began to wake up. He went to the cafe and ate lunch. As he sat there drinking coffee, his mind went back to the last Christmas when they were all at home. The last Christmas Paul was with them. How wonderful Barbara was. He didn’t even know he loved her then. He felt sorry for her because her father was killed at Pearl Harbor. She had no one. Then he thought of the courage she gave to his mother when Paul was killed. Even then he didn’t know he loved her. When Natalie showed up on Christmas throwing a bomb shell in the middle of their joyous day, it was Barbara who kept everyone from being sad. She never once pushed him or tried to make him fall in love with her. He remembered how so many of the family wrote and told him of how Barbara was their anchor. Even his mother, as strong willed and determined as she was, Barbara was her anchor. She was always there, ready and willing to help or to love.”