Blue (18 page)

“You're not Joan of Arc, for God's sake! And going after the church we grew up in is sacrilegious and immoral. I can't believe you'd do a thing like that. Thank God Dad will never know.” Their father had gone to church every Sunday of his life, and their mother had, too, when she was alive. And they had gone to church as children. Becky and Alan went only occasionally on Sundays, and took their children when they did. They were hardly devout Catholics. But Becky felt she had to protect Father Teddy Graham, even though it was he who had violated the sanctity of the church, not Ginny for defending Blue and fighting back. “You can't be serious about this. You really have to rethink it,” Becky said insistently. Her tone was one of furious disbelief and stern disapproval.

“What? And tell him it was okay that he was molested, that it doesn't matter, and that the priest who did it is a good guy? He belongs in prison. And I'm sure he's done it to lots of other boys. I saw him with one of them myself last week.”

“What were you doing? Following him?” Becky was off on a tangent again. It made Ginny realize once again that all her life her sister had criticized her for something she was doing. But nothing she could say would sway Ginny from supporting Blue with the case.

“No, I went to Chicago to check him out. He's a real piece of work.”

“So are you,” Becky said angrily. “I never thought I'd see the day when my own sister would attack the church.”

“They need to be attacked on this issue, and these men have to be exposed. They're child abusers in the most perverted possible way. They're pedophiles, and they belong in prison.”

“Blue's not suffering. He looks like a happy, healthy kid. It's happened to others—he'll get over it. You don't need to turn it into a sacred mission and make an ass of yourself.”

“I can't talk to you about this,” Ginny said through clenched teeth. “What you're saying is too outrageous. What do you think people should do? Uphold the bad priests? Hide them? Forget about it? Because that's what the church has been doing, and it makes the situation even worse.”

“They're sacred men, Ginny,” Becky said in an icy tone. “God will punish you if you mess with that.”

“He'll punish me a lot more, and so will my own conscience, if I don't help this boy get justice in this world.”

“Why don't you stop worrying about him, and get your own life together, instead of picking up every stray dog you run across, and chasing around the world trying to solve problems that can't be fixed? Stay home, get a decent job, get your hair done once in a while, go on a date, and turn into a normal human being again. And for God's sake, have some respect for the Catholic Church.”

“Thank you for your advice,” Ginny said, and hung up on her, and she was shaking when she did. She couldn't believe the things her sister had said, not just about her but about the priests who had violated every law with total disregard for morality and decency and were raping children. Her sister clearly would have preferred to keep it hidden.

Blue came looking for her in his pajamas a few minutes later with a puzzled look. “Who was that? I thought I heard you shouting when I got out of the shower.” She was grateful he hadn't heard what she had said.

“It was Becky. We had a stupid argument. Sisters do that. She told me I should get my hair done more often.”

He looked at her long blond hair, and shrugged at the mysteries of women. “Looks fine to me.”

“Thank you,” she said, and smiled at him. She did not for one instant regret supporting him in this battle. It was actually about respecting the Catholic Church, and defending it, more than the priests who had violated it. And it was about defending the rights of children to be safe and unharmed in what should be a chaste and safe environment for them. She'd had such a good time with Becky when they went to L.A., almost like the old days when they were kids. And now she was on a tirade again, defending what was indefensible in the church. Ginny was furious over it, but it also made her realize that there would be others who would be angry at her and Blue, if they heard about it. They, too, would prefer to keep the sins of a few priests hidden and pretend that the Catholic clergy was infallible. Ginny wasn't willing to do that. She believed in pursuing the truth, exposing evil, seeking justice for innocent victims, and defending the rights of little boys not to be raped or molested by their parish priests. It seemed totally clear to her that these were principles worth defending, no matter what her sister thought. And if Becky didn't approve of her, too bad. Ginny believed a hundred percent in what she was doing, and when Blue hugged her before he went to bed that night, with his faith in her shining in his eyes, she knew that she was right.

Ginny didn't speak to her sister again after their argument on Monday night. Becky had sent her a text reiterating the same views and opinions, and Ginny didn't answer her. It wasn't even an argument to her. She thought Becky's position was a disgrace.

And on Tuesday she met with Ellen Warberg and after much careful consideration, and consultation with other international human rights agencies, they were assigning Ginny and a handful of others to Syria. The Red Cross was a strong presence there, and SOS/HR had always taken a completely apolitical stance, which protected them, and their workers to some extent. Unquestionably it was a hot spot and there were safer places to go, but Ellen assured her that at the first sign of a change in climate there, or increased tension, Ginny could decide to leave of her own volition, or they would pull her out, if they knew something she didn't, or even heard a whisper about escalating risk. Ginny felt comfortable with what Ellen said to her, and they had never let her down. The problem for her now was Blue. She had undertaken a responsibility to him, taking on their toughest assignments no longer seemed smart to her. She agreed to go to Syria, but wanted to rethink the kind of assignments she would take in future. Her life had changed.

Ellen had no doubt that Ginny could handle it, and the situation was unpleasant, but their presence was direly needed. Boys over the age of fourteen were being imprisoned for no apparent reason, tortured, in some cases, and even raped, and those who survived it often emerged broken and crippled, physically and psychologically, almost beyond repair. And even younger children were being detained in custody; some were being put in prison as well. The Red Cross had two camps set up to minister to them, internationally staffed and run. SOS/HR was supplying two workers for each camp, and Ginny was one of them. It showed their faith in her that she'd been chosen, but it was going to be heartbreaking work. Because it was a hardship post, they had made it a short assignment, and Ellen said they were going to bring her back in eight weeks, at the beginning of August. She was relieved not to be away from Blue for too long, and she told him about it that night.

“I'm leaving in a week,” she told him over dinner, “which means I'll miss your graduation, which I'm very upset about, but you have to be grown up about this. The good news is I'll be back a month early.” They had expected her to miss the graduation, and she was pleased to be coming back before summer was over. “I'll get you a cell phone before I leave.” She hadn't done that yet, which was inconvenient at times, when she wanted to track him down, and she wanted him to have a phone before she left. “You have to be available if Detective Sanders calls you, or Andrew O'Connor, if they need something from you on the case.” For the moment the investigation was getting started, but they might need to confirm something with Blue, or contact him. “I'll call you when I can, but I don't think I'll have much communication in the camp.” She didn't stress the risks where she was going, and played it down. “I want you to stay at Houston Street. I know you don't like it, but it's only for eight weeks.” She was matter-of-fact about it, and hoped he would be, too. He had known he was going to have to stay there when she went away.

“Why can't I just stay here?” He looked bitterly disappointed that she was leaving again, even if he'd known she would. The reality of it was hard for both of them, now that the time had come.

“You can't stay alone in an apartment. You're thirteen years old. What if you get sick?” Or if some social worker discovered that he was thirteen years old and living alone.

“No one took care of me when I got sick on the streets,” he reminded her.

“I feel better knowing that you're in a reasonable environment with other kids, with any kind of help you need available.”

“I hate it there.” He crossed his arms and sank into his chair in a slump.

“It's only for eight weeks. I'm coming home early this time, and I'll be here for almost all of August. And they won't reassign me till September,” she said, feeling stressed about it, and sad to leave him. But he had survived without her before they met, and she was leaving him taken care of and provided for. Julio Fernandez had promised to keep a closer eye on him this time, and he could play their piano. But that only compensated a little. “If you run away, I swear I'm going to have a fit when I get home—tie you to your bed, hide your favorite pair of Converse—something terrible I'll have to think of.” He smiled at her empty threat. She didn't know how to be bad to him, but he still didn't want to stay at Houston Street while she was gone. But he would do it for her, albeit grudgingly and complaining all the way.

Andrew O'Connor called Ginny the day after she got her assignment from SOS/HR. He had thought of something and wanted to talk to her about it, when Blue wasn't around, so he called during school hours, and she was home getting organized for the trip.

“Has Blue ever been to a therapist?” he asked her.

“I don't think so. He would have told me.”

“I think it would be a good idea to have him evaluated by someone. It will strengthen our case if there is some remaining psychological impact from the abuse. And who knows? He may remember something about it he hasn't told us, or even recall himself. It's just a thought. He seems like a surprisingly well-balanced kid given what he's been through, but I'm sure you're an important part of that,” he said, impressed that she had taken all this on. It seemed like a saintly thing to do, to him. And Blue and she obviously cared for each other. She was kind and respectful to him, and very loving.

“I'm only a recent addition,” she said modestly, “and he did fine without me before. He has a place to stay now, but his mental stability is his own.”

“He's a very lucky young man,” Andrew said, and meant it. But Ginny knew that the ex-Vatican lawyer was part of that good fortune, taking on his civil case for free.

“I'm leaving in less than a week, but I'll try to get him to someone before I go. Any idea who?” He gave her the name of a psychologist he had worked with before, very successfully, particularly with boys in cases like this one, and Ginny jotted her name down.

“Where are you going?” he asked, curious about her. Even though she was no longer a TV reporter, she seemed like an interesting person. He thought she had a fascinating job as an international human rights worker, but he didn't know much more.

“Syria, actually,” she said, as though it were a normal place to go.

“Syria? Why there?”

“I work for SOS/HR, as a field-worker. I usually go on three- or four-month missions three times a year, mostly to refugee camps. I just got back from Afghanistan.”

“How long have you been doing that?” He was even more intrigued by what she said. She obviously went to dangerous places, was a gutsy woman, and had suffered in her own life.

“I've been doing it since…” She caught herself. “For three and a half years, since I gave up TV news.” She didn't want to sound pathetic by talking about Mark and Chris.

“Where will Blue be while you're gone?”

“I'm only going for eight weeks this time. I made a deal with him, and he's not happy about it. He stays at the Houston Street Shelter, which is a very decent place. He ran away when I was in Afghanistan. He promised he wouldn't do that again. I'm giving him your number, too.” Andrew was smiling as he listened to her. She was a real person, and a pretty terrific one in his opinion, given what she was doing for Blue.

“By the way, I think you'll probably need a release from his aunt for the psychologist. She might not see him without it. Therapists can be sticklers about that.”

“I'll call his aunt and get her to sign one,” Ginny said easily.

“It must be frustrating having her be the guardian when you have physical custody of him.”

“Not really. She's been very nice about signing whatever I've needed so far. I'll give her a call.” They chatted for a few more minutes about her trip to Syria before they hung up. And knowing that Charlene was home in the daytime, since she worked at night, Ginny called her. She was very pleasant when Ginny told her how Blue was doing and that he'd be graduating in a few weeks, although sadly, she wouldn't be there to see it. Charlene didn't offer to go, and then Ginny explained that she needed her to sign another release.

“What's it for this time?” his aunt chuckled. “You taking him to Europe for his summer vacation?” She had been impressed when Ginny took him to L.A. He was a lucky kid in her opinion.

“No,” Ginny said seriously, “I'd like to take him to a therapist.”

“What kind of therapist?” Charlene asked. “Did he get hurt? That boy is always jumping on or off something. I'm not surprised.”

“No, he's fine,” Ginny said calmly. “I mean like a psychologist, that kind of therapist.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Charlene sounded shocked, and Ginny wondered if she was nervous because her boyfriend had taken a swing at Blue, and didn't want it known. Ginny hadn't intended to explain it to her on the phone, but she felt like she had no choice, since Charlene had asked, and she didn't want to lie to her and say it was for something else.

“I think Blue tried to tell you about it a long time ago. He was very young, and he probably didn't express himself convincingly at the time.” She was trying to give Charlene a gracious out for having failed to listen to him about something so important. “It seems that Blue was the victim of sexual abuse by a priest in your parish church when he was nine or ten. And we're doing something about it now. We filed a police report last week against the perpetrator, and we're going to file a civil suit against the archdiocese once he's been charged with the crime.” There was dead silence at the other end.

“What perpetrator?” Charlene said in a shocked voice.

“Father Teddy Graham,” Ginny answered, as Blue's aunt let out a piercing scream.

“You can't do that! Blue is lying to you! That priest is the finest man on Earth. Blue will burn in hell forever if he tells lies about that man!” She was frantic in the priest's defense, much to Ginny's dismay.

“I've seen him, and I understand why you feel that way. He's a very personable man. But the fact is, he sexually molested your nephew, and possibly other boys in the parish. He's out there ruining young lives, and he has to be stopped. The police are investigating him now. And Blue isn't going to hell for that or anything else. He was the victim of a sexual crime.” Ginny tried to stay as reasonable as possible and not lose her temper at Charlene.

“He's a liar and always was! He tried telling me that. I can tell you there's no truth in it. You're the one committing a crime if you try to put that man in jail. Father Teddy is a saint!” Listening to her made Ginny want to scream. But she forced herself to stay calm and rational, and she needed the release for him to see the shrink.

“I know this is very upsetting. And I'm sure it's hard to believe, since you like the man. But I think he duped everyone, and the truth is going to come out. Other boys will speak up. But in the meantime, I need that release for Blue.”

“I'm not giving you a release or anything to help you persecute that man. And I don't mean prosecute, I mean persecute! I'm not signing anything to help you do this ungodly thing, and you can tell Blue to forget I'm related to him if he doesn't drop the charges against Father Teddy right now.” She made herself very clear, and a minute later Charlene said goodbye and put down the phone.

Ginny called Andrew O'Connor back immediately and told him what had happened. He wasn't surprised.

“It happens all the time. It's very threatening to people when you force them to face something like that, and she probably feels guilty for not listening to Blue earlier.”

“It doesn't sound like it. The man is so convincing and seductive, I saw it myself. In any case, she won't give me a release, so I can't take him to the shrink.” Ginny sounded discouraged. It had been a terrible conversation with Blue's aunt.

“Don't worry,” he reassured her, “we don't need the release now. It's not pressing. You can try again when you get back.”

She said that she would, but it didn't sound likely that Charlene would sign it. And her own sister had taken the same extreme position to preserve the silence around the church, no matter what this very sick priest had done. Andrew wished Ginny good luck on her trip again, and they hung up.

She didn't tell Blue about her conversation with Charlene—there was no point.

She got Blue the promised cell phone that week as a graduation present; it comforted her to know that she could reach him if she could get to a phone herself.

She also called her attorney and added an amendment to her will, and had it notarized. She still had money from Mark's life insurance, the house sale, and her own savings, and she added a sizable bequest to Blue. Becky and her family didn't need it, and if something happened to her, she wanted Blue to have it. It felt like the right thing to do. And on Saturday she helped him move to Houston Street. He looked bereft when she helped him unpack. She had promised to take him out to lunch the next day, and she was leaving on Monday.

She checked the mail when she got home, and there was a letter for Blue from LaGuardia Arts high school. Ginny's heart pounded as she carried it upstairs. She was itching to open it herself, but she didn't. She would save it for lunch the next day, so he could open it himself. She hoped it was good news.

When she picked him up at Houston Street on Sunday morning, Blue was waiting for her at the door. They had lunch at an outdoor café in the Village, and then she remembered the envelope in her purse. They both knew what it was. She was as nervous as he was while he opened it, and she was worried about what would happen if they'd turned him down. She knew he'd be bitterly disappointed, and she didn't want to leave him for two months on a sour note. She watched his face intently as he read the letter, and for an instant nothing showed. And then, halfway through it, his big almost-electric blue eyes opened wide and stared at her.