Blurred Lines by KD Williamson (13 page)

She only
thought
it couldn’t hurt more, but she was wrong. It was one thing for Tony to be strung out. He was an addict. But to know Sean kept it from her? On top of keeping Travis’s condition a secret? That was far worse. She needed to talk to Sean now. Kelli grabbed a crutch from the other side of the bed and used it to pull the phone toward her. When the phone was close enough, she bent over and grabbed it, ignoring her discomfort. Her hand shook as she dialed Sean’s number.

“McCabe.” He sounded tired.

“Tony was here. No more secrets, Sean. We need to talk.” It took all she had not to yell, but she didn’t try to mask the anger in her voice.

Sean was so quiet that Kelli could hear broken voices coming from the police radio.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Sean whispered. “Kel, I—”

“No, just no.” Kelli stopped him. She couldn’t hear anymore until she had a chance to breathe. She had to pull herself together. Tearing Sean another asshole wasn’t going to make the situation better.

Sean got there in ten. His face was sweaty just like Tony’s had been, but it had nothing to do with meth. He stood a few feet from her bed. Despite the river of crap he was swimming in, Sean looked her in the eye. He was scared. She saw it. She saw regret too.

“He was in fucking outer space. What the fuck is wrong with me? I knew something was up.” Kelli shook her head and stared. “How long?”

“I hated keeping it from you, but I wanted to give him a chance to clean himself up on his own. I know I should have told you.”

“How long?” Kelli growled. She had no patience left.

Sean looked away. “About a month.”

“Fuck,” she whispered. “Fuck!” This time it was much louder. “You should have told me. At least you’re not in denial like Mom. That’s the only good thing to come out of this shit.”

Sean hung his head. Seeing him like this took her back to when they were kids. He never could take it when she yelled at him even when there was good reason.

“I thought I was doing the right thing. Nothing else has worked. He has to buy in. He has to want to get better. I thought…I could help him see that. I’m sorry, Kelli.” Sean moved closer to the bed. He reached out for her.

“Don’t.” Kelli murmured. What he said made sense, but he was pushing it.

Sean jerked his hand away.

“This can’t be about us, no matter what I feel right now.” Kelli could barely look at him.

Sean agreed weakly. “Yeah, we need a plan.”

Unable to help herself, Kelli glanced up only to see that they were not alone. Nora stood in the doorway. The shocked expression on her face was all the evidence Kelli needed to know that she’d heard plenty.

“I was trying to wait until you finished. I can return later if—” Nora said.

“No.” Sean interrupted her. “I should probably go anyway. We can’t fix it all today.” He looked at Kelli. His eyes were sad, pleading, but he stood tall. “We’ll figure this out.”

“Yeah,” Kelli agreed. She hoped to God he was right. “I think I can understand why you did it but it was still the wrong call.”

Sean nodded slightly. “Later,” he mumbled as he left.

Kelli watched her brother leave. She knew her response hurt him, but his secrets hurt her too. What the fuck was up with people keeping shit from her? There had to be a bigger word than overwhelmed, because whatever the fuck it was, that was her right now. It felt as though somebody had punched her in the face, and she was watching everything float in the air above her while she lay there like dead weight. The messed up part was that she had no idea how she was going to get up.

Nora walked toward her slowly. Her expression was gentle but unsure.

Tears burned Kelli’s eyes. She closed them. It didn’t help. They fell anyway. When she opened her eyes again, Nora was closer. There was so much Kelli wanted to say, but the words refused to come out.

“Kelli, I’m here.”

Kelli felt alone, isolated, and she didn’t want to be. She reached out. She didn’t know if Nora understood what she needed, but she took the chance. When Nora’s hand slid into hers, it rocked her to the core. Kelli’s stomach flipped, and Nora looked just as startled.

A loud chirp filled the air.

“I’m sorry,” Nora whispered. She dug into the pocket of her lab coat and brought out her pager. “It’s 9-1-1.” She sounded disappointed.

“Not Travis?” It wasn’t farfetched for Kelli to ask. After all shitty things happened in twenties.

“No, not him, but I have to go.”

Kelli swallowed and nodded.

Nora looked at their linked hands, and Kelli realized she hadn’t let go. She really didn’t want to.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Nora’s words were enough to get her muscles working again. Kelli pulled her hand free, but Nora didn’t move for another moment. Then, a few seconds later, she was gone. Kelli was helpless, and to make matters worse, she was useless as well. Things were falling apart around her, and there wasn’t a fucking thing she could do about it. Nora was outside of all the bullshit. When Kelli was around her, she was able to breathe a little easier. No one had ever had that effect on her before, and it was worth trying to keep. She had to have something to look forward to.

* * *

Kelli could finally use the crutches with only a tiny bit of pain. It was simpler getting to and from the toilet and gave her a lot more dignity. She flicked the bathroom light switch off, but the TV gave her just enough illumination to see her way back to bed. Someone was already standing there. It was obviously a woman. Her first thought was a nurse, but Kelli’s heart went into overdrive when she realized who it was. “Nora, hey.”

“I didn’t intend to take so long. I had to perform emergency surgery.”

“It’s okay. Not your fault,” Kelli told her. She made her way to the opposite side of the bed. The closer she got the more she could see. This was definitely not the Nora she was used to. The purple scrubs were gone. Instead, she wore a dark skirt that molded to her body, highlighting curves that had barely been visible before. The skirt stopped at the knee and showed legs that were long enough to wrap around some lucky bitch twice. The pinkish blouse showed off her delicate collarbone and hinted at cleavage that Kelli really wanted to see more of.

Kelli’s damn throat was dry again, but she couldn’t ignore the way her stomach dropped. She expected to look down and see it on the floor at her feet. With everything that was going on, it didn’t make sense to feel this attraction now. Kelli wanted to laugh at the timing. This was fucking crazy. There was too much on her plate as it was. The connection forming between them could be a positive thing, but with all the shit in her life, even the good stuff could end up fucked. She couldn’t think about Nora that way right now. There was no room. Instead, Kelli slid under the covers and took a minute to center herself.

“You’re done for the day?” Kelli asked.

“Yes, I didn’t want to leave without seeing you.” Nora’s voice was soft, concerned.

Kelli sighed. “I’m here, Nora, for the most part.”

“I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your situation.”

“Sometimes, I can’t either. I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Antony’s been to rehab twice. He just lost it after Dad died. And he can’t seem to pull it back together.” Without thought, Kelli found herself yet again spilling her guts, and it felt as natural as breathing.

“I’m not sure what to say.” Nora sounded uncertain. There was no hand-holding this time, and for now, Kelli was grateful for that. Tonight, she didn’t need the extra zing that Nora’s touch brought with it. Kelli wanted a minute when she wasn’t so goddamned swamped by everything.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

Nora didn’t. She just stood there, and Kelli found a moment of peace.

* * *

Kelli was groggy, but she wasn’t deaf. Even if she wasn’t a light sleeper, she’d be able to hear the ruckus going on at the foot of her bed. Did they really think they were whispering? Why would someone come in her room to argue? She wasn’t up for this shit. Kelli was a step away from handing them their asses when she realized who
they
were. She opened her eyes slightly. The flickering light from the muted TV helped her to see Dr. Rader and the president of his fan club standing there. Kelli didn’t have to strain to hear.

“You’d better be right about this,” Dr. Fuller said with a hiss.

“I am. What are you worried about? Trust me. This will work, and you’ll enjoy every minute of it.”

Kelli hoped she wasn’t hearing Rader as he tried to convince her to do some sort of nasty sex thing. She cringed. For some reason, her thoughts went to medical tools and equipment. Was it possible to wash her brain? It felt dirty.

“We can talk about it more later. Now isn’t the time,” Rader begged. “Let me check the nurse’s final notation on her chart, and we can get out of here.”

A few seconds later, he muttered, “Done. Let’s go. Just remember nobody likes her anyway. Who’s going to care?”

Kelli stayed still until they were gone. “What the actual fuck?” she whispered.

CHAPTER 9

Kelli exhaled noisily but could barely hear it over sound of the machines hooked to Travis. She closed her eyes, and hoped when she opened them, things would be different. Travis looked like he was trapped in some sort of torture device. It covered his chest and his neck and ended in a circle of metal around his head. The nurse called it a halo. It was a weird fucking name for a contraption that was drilled into his skull. He certainly didn’t look like an angel. The equipment was supposed to keep him immobile and stop him from hurting himself.

Kelli imagined the pain was epic, and the medication kept him as numb as possible to the whole thing. Gerry wasn’t a big guy. Still, she’d never seen him look so small. There was a thirty percent chance he would walk again. Thirty percent should have been good news, but the whole thing was a gamble as far as she was concerned. Travis could come out of it with nothing but a wheelchair strapped to his back.

Kelli didn’t like the odds. She wanted to have faith, but it’d been too long since she’d faith in anything except herself. Unfortunately, this whole thing was beyond her control. She leaned on her crutches and moved closer. No one told her she couldn’t touch him. Maybe it would give her a little hope. Something had to. She squeezed his arm at the elbow and tried to transmit a little of herself to him. He needed it, and she probably needed a little bit of him too.

There was a place in her chest that throbbed. Kelli rubbed at her breastbone. It didn’t help because the pain was too deep. She took sedatives when she needed to calm the nightmares, but nothing could help reality. Her eyes wandered. His room was no different from hers. He had a lot more flowers and balloons than she did, but she always suspected that the assholes at SPD Homicide liked him better. A few of the guys came to visit her, but she was sure the whole damn squad had been to see Gerry. Kelli almost smiled. She stared at a bouquet that still had the card sticking out. Kelli plucked it and read it out loud. She needed to hear something besides the machines.

“We know you’ll be back soon giving us shit, and we can’t wait.”

Kelli didn’t hold back her smile this time. The card made her think about what she had to look forward to. Two things came to mind—working with Travis again and Nora. It was funny. Here she was, wading through knee-high piles of shit, and the sight of that woman made her forget—at least for a while. Nora was getting under her skin.

She looked up when someone else entered the room, but it was just Sean.

“Hey,” he whispered and lowered his head .

“Hey back.” Kelli was glad to see him despite the tension between them.

“How is he?” Sean moved farther inside the room but away from her.

“The same. It helps though…to be here and know that he’s in one piece.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling. His father will be here tonight. Maybe that’ll help…somehow.” He paused. “Kelli, it’s been two days, and you’re leaving here on Wednesday.”

“I know that.” Kelli tried not to spit the words, but she didn’t know if she succeeded.

“I know you’re disappointed and mad at—”

“I’m not…I’m not mad. I get it. I just needed a minute to think.”

“Mom knows something’s not right between us.”

“I know that, but we need to be able to sit her down and really get her to listen. Doesn’t make sense to do it here. I wasn’t kidding. She stood there while Tony went all Willy Wonka and blamed it on coffee. She’s in big time denial.”

Sean looked down at his shoes. “Maybe. I kinda was too. I mean, I thought I could fix it on my own and look where it got him. I just wanted to take some of the load off you. You know?” He sighed. “But I can’t be you. I don’t even know how you do it. Take on everybody’s shit.”

Hell, sometimes she didn’t either. His words made it easier to understand his reasoning. “I get it. I do.” Kelli needed him to move on to the real issue. “But…Tony.” She shook her head. “It’s hard not to be pissed at him, but what it all comes down to is he needs to know we’re here fighting for him. I guess we need to plan another intervention…or something.”

“Yeah, right.”

Their eyes met.

“You sure we’re okay?” Sean asked hesitantly.

Kelli walked toward him until they were close enough to touch. “The two of us, we have to hold things together. When I can’t help, you have a lot to take on. You did the best you could with what you had.”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I just—”

“It’s done, Sean.” Kelli reached out and squeezed his arm just like she did with Travis. “We’ve got other shit to deal with.”

* * *

When Nora arrived at the nurses’ station, she heard snatches of conversation. The two nurses behind the desk had their backs to her.

“I heard she was coming out of Gagne’s office. You think she was filing a complaint on Whitmore?”

“Where did you get that from? There are a million reasons she could have been there.”

“Oh come on, look who we’re talking about. Of course she went to go complain about something, and from what I heard, she whines about Whitmore on a daily basis.”