Blurred Truth (The Blurred Series Book 2) (6 page)

When I wake up to the sound of the shower running, I groan a little. It’s early as shit and I need a minute to come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer dreaming of Natalie’s mouth all over me.

When I hear the sound of doors clicking open and closed, in the otherwise silent apartment, I quickly pull on some shorts and take my turn in the bathroom, before making my way to the kitchen.

Whilst Natty’s getting ready for her first day at work, I brew a pot of coffee so that she doesn’t have to. I’m not going to analyze the fact that a small part of my brain is saying
“Hey, Nat, look what a good boyfriend I’d make.”

I don’t know if she’ll want - or have time to eat - breakfast, so I hold off on preparing any food. It’s too early to eat solids, anyways.

I feel her presence before I hear or see her. That’s the way it always is. It’s like the atmosphere changes when she enters a room. The particles in the air become charged with energy. It makes my skin tingle like static electricity.

Taking a deep breath to dispel the buzz running through my veins, I turn and give her the best smile I can manage at this time of day.

“Mornin’, Natty. Here,” I say, handing her the cup of coffee I just prepared, the way she likes.

“Thanks. What are you doing up so early?” she asks before taking a sip.

“Well, I need to intercept Nate if he has plans to go down to the café this morning, per our agreement, but I also wanted to make sure you got your caffeine fix. I didn’t know if you’d have time before work.”

In my sleep-induced brain-fog, I forgot I agreed to keep Nate from the café until just now.

That ought to be interesting.

“Well, thank you. That’s really sweet. I guess if I didn’t have time it wouldn’t be too much of a disaster, you know, because I’m going to be working in a café...lots of coffee there.”

My dove has jokes.

I smile, but then see her eyes fixed on the fridge, like she’s wanting something out of it.

“You hungry? You’ve got another twenty minutes until you need to leave. I can whip something up real quick?” I ask, heading over to the refrigerator to retrieve ingredients for pancakes, but Natalie’s next words cut me off.

“Oh, no thanks. I don’t think I could eat a thing right now. Thank you for the kind offer, though.”

“Is it because you’re nervous?” I ask, concerned.

“Pretty much. I’ve got a pretty sizable knot in my stomach right now. No room for anything else,” she explains with a half-hearted shrug.

“Well, like I said last night - you have nothing to worry about. I know that probably doesn’t help much, but you’ll be fine. I know it.” I try to reassure her as best I can, but I’m not sure it’s working.

“We’ll see,” is all she says in response.

We sit in, somewhat, comfortable silence; just sipping on our coffees and glancing at each other with small smiles until it’s time for her to leave for the café.

“I’ll walk you down,” I offer, taking our cups to the sink.

“No!” she whisper-shouts, “I mean, what if Nate comes down there before you get back. It’ll be really hard to explain why I’m in a Calli’s Café apron at six-thirty a.m.”

“Good point. You sure you’re okay going alone?” I ask. I could just drop her at the door and run straight back up. But then Calli will probably see me and want to get all...
meddlesome,
again. It could turn problematic.

“Yeah. I mean, I need to learn to do these things alone sometime, right? Might as well start as I mean to go on,” she says with false bravado.

I love how brave she’s pretending to be.

Fake it till you make it, Little Dove.

“Okay. Well, good luck. Not that you need it. I know you’ll do great.” I give her a wink and she smiles big at me before heading out the door, without another word.

I miss her already.

* * *

Showtime.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Nate asks as he enters the kitchen.

“Not much. Just making some pancakes,” I say, as I plate-up the last of them.

“I can smell that. How many people you feeding?” he asks, noticing the four stacks next to me on the counter.

Four stacks. Four flavors. This is my genius plan to stop Nate going to the café this morning. I admit, it’s not the best plan I’ve ever come up with. My brain just isn’t working to full-capacity at this early hour. It's too full of Natalie Connor.

“Just us, and Natalie whenever she wakes up,” I explain, trying to mask the lie as best I can. I like lying to Nate about as much as I’d like lying to his sister. But this is for Natalie. I’ll do it with a smile, for her.

“Sorry, bro. I planned on stopping by Calli’s on my way to work,” Nate says flippantly.

“Well, that’s just perfect. I make four different flavors of pancakes - one of which is Nutella, by the way; you’re favorite - and you’re just like ‘Sorry, I’m going to the café, like I do every other damn day of my life, because I’m obsessed with the owner and wanna kiss her and marry her and give her my babies.’ Real fucking nice.”

“Are you on your period?” he asks, obviously joking, but with the most serious expression on his face as he just looks at me.

It almost makes me laugh. Almost.

I might have laid that on a little thick. Yeah; I definitely just sounded like a hormonal woman. Well, too late to back down now.

“Fuck you, asshole. I’ll eat the damn things myself. I’m sure Natalie will appreciate them. Unless ungratefulness runs in the family or something, of course,” I say with the attitude of an underappreciated housewife, as I place the stacks of sweet-smelling pancakes on the breakfast bar.

I’m finding it pretty hard to keep a straight face. If I crack, the whole plan will be shot to hell and I’ll have let Natty down.

That thought is sobering enough to keep me on-track.

“All right, dude. Shit. I’ll eat your pancakes. Stop getting your panties in a bunch. Now, tell me which ones are Nutella?”

Mission: Accomplished.

* * *

Don’t go out there.

Don’t go out there.

Don’t go out there.

I was going to go out there, when I heard Nate get home. I was going to go say ‘hey’, right after I got finished with this website re-design. Then I heard the front door again. Then I heard the crying.

They obviously need to be alone, but it’s killing me. It’s slowly strangling me to be in here, while she’s out there, suffering.

She has her brother.

She’s not alone.

She doesn’t need you.

But the feeling that she does need me doesn’t wane. It only intensifies. So, I do the only thing I can do in this situation; I log on to the chat room.

And I wait.

* * *

BabyDove94 is online.

I can't let her know that I'm aware she's upset. I have to pretend that I know nothing and everything is fine.

OffLand18 says: Hey, baby! How was your first day?

BabyDove94 says: It was good.

OffLand18 says: You don’t seem too sure?

BabyDove94 says: No, it really was. My new boss is great, she was pleased with me. I picked up everything really quickly and didn’t have a panic attack, so it went way better than expected.

OffLand18 says: That’s great! I’m so happy for you :) I still feel like there’s something bothering you though?

I don’t want her to tell me what’s wrong if she really doesn’t want to, but I can’t not push. It’s just in my nature when it comes to her.

I have to know everything.

BabyDove94 says: We just found out my parents’ house sale has gone through and all their belongings have been moved to storage. I was in a really good mood after my unexpectedly good first day at work, and the news just...it’s a lot to deal with.

Jesus. That explains it. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now. That house; the one where she had all the love she could ever need...just gone.

Like the parents who raised her in it.

OffLand18 says: Oh, babe, I’m sorry. That’s really rough. I wish I could just hold you right now and make you feel better.

And isn’t that the truth? I want to go to her right now. I know exactly where she is, but she doesn’t know it.

Fucking torture.

BabyDove94 says: I wish you could, too. I wish everything was different.

OffLand18 says: How do you mean?

BabyDove94 says: I just wish we’d met under different circumstances. I wish we’d met in real life, I wish you lived here, I wish we knew each other’s names, could see each other’s faces, could hold each other. I just wish everything was different to how it is.

My heart cracks under the weight of her words, and I almost cry for the first time in over fourteen years.

But I stop the tears from starting, the way I always have.

How did I let this happen? This incredibly fucked up situation.

OffLand18 says: One day, things will be different. I promise, Little Dove. One day you’ll know every detail of my life, and I’ll hold you as often and for as long as you’ll let me.

BabyDove94 says: Why can’t that be now?

OffLand18 says: I want it to be now, really, I do. There’s just things I need to do before it can happen. Nothing you need to be concerned with. Just know that I want everything you want, and I’ll do everything it takes to make it happen. Please believe me. I just want everything to be perfect when we’re finally together. Nothing holding us back.

BabyDove94 says: I believe you. I trust you. I just...I need you.

OffLand18 says: You have me. I need you, too. More than you’ll ever know. The five years I’ve known you have been the best I’ve ever had.

This girl has been the one thing that brought me back to life. The one thing that made this life worth living. She’s my reason for living.

BabyDove94 says: You say the sweetest things.

OffLand18 says: Because you’re the sweetest girl.

BabyDove94 says: Tell me about your day. Make me forget.

I know how to make her forget. I know what will work better than inane babble about our day-to-day lives, but I’m not going to make that decision. Not again. I took advantage last time. I led the way. I won’t make that mistake a second time.

OffLand18 says: So which do you want?

BabyDove94 says: What do you mean?

OffLand18 says: Do you want me to tell you about my day or make you forget?

BabyDove94 says: Make me forget.

OffLand18 says: Do you want me to kiss you?

BabyDove94 says: Yes.

OffLand18 says: Do you want me to make love to you, Little Dove?

BabyDove94 says: Yes.

OffLand18 says: I will. One day, I will. But I’ll also fuck you. Sometimes, it’ll be making love. But other times, I won’t be able to be gentle. It’ll be rough. But I’d never hurt you. You’d like it, however I chose to give it to you.

BabyDove94 says: I would.

OffLand18 says: Right now, I wanna take it slow. I want to trail my hands up your legs until you part your thighs, absentmindedly. Automatically. Like it’s just the most natural thing in the world for you to do at my touch.

BabyDove94 says: Oh, my God. Keep going.

OffLand18 says: Is that turning you on, baby?

BabyDove94 says: YES.

OffLand18 says: All caps? That’s shouting, right? I’d like it if you screamed. I don’t care how loud or who could hear you. Where do we go after using all caps, though? What happens when my hand goes from your inner thighs to your pussy that’s already wet for me?

BabyDove94 says: ITALICIZED CAPS!

OffLand18 says: Italics? Already? You’re going to need an entirely new font by the time my dick gets involved. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What happens when I slide a finger inside your tight pussy, babe?