Bold (The Dark Billionaire, #8) (4 page)

She and Bruce walked around, grabbed a few books and thumbed through the pages but nothing really caught their attention. The young woman was still there. Jennifer wanted to tell her that they weren’t going to buy anything and that it wasn’t necessary to follow them everywhere.

Bruce also noticed the woman and decided to engage a conversation.

“Do you have any good cooking books?” He said.

“Of course. This way,” the woman said as she led them to another section. “Books in English I assume?”

“Yes, please,” Bruce said.

She picked up three books and handed them to Jennifer and Bruce.

“These are bestsellers in France.”

Jennifer looked at the names but didn’t recognize any of them.

“I don’t know any of these chefs,” Jennifer said.

The woman nodded. “They are not famous outside of France but they are very good. I’ve tried a few of their recipes and it’s very avant-garde. If you love to try new things, you’ll fall in love with these recipes, guaranteed.”

Jennifer paid closer attention to the lady. She didn’t talk like a regular cashier and definitely looked like she was into cooking as well.

“Do you cook often?” Jennifer said.

“Oh yeah, all the time. That’s my passion...”

Bruce and Jennifer looked at each other and smiled. They had found someone just like Jennifer.

“She’s exactly the same,” Bruce said, flashing his thumb at Jennifer.

She smiled and extended her hand.

“I’m Natalie, nice to meet you.”

Bruce and Jennifer shook her hand and introduced themselves as well.

“Okay, Natalie,” Jennifer said. “I’m going to give it a try. I’ll take the three of them.”

“You won’t regret it,” Natalie said with a large smile on her face.

They walked back to the cashier. Bruce offered to pay but Jennifer refused. Natalie put all the books in a bag and gave them a name card.

“Give me a call and tell me what you think,” she said.

“Aw, thank you,” Jennifer said. She patted her pockets but she already knew she didn’t have any business card to give in exchange.

Natalie was very friendly and she had picked three very original books immediately. It was good to keep in touch with her, just in case. Jennifer would try a few of these new recipes and decide later if it was worth her time. She could always come back and get more books before going back to New York.

Bruce saw Jennifer struggling to find a non-existent card and gave his to Natalie. She took a look at it and just said thank you. Of course, she hadn’t recognized Bruce’s name and didn’t know who he was. It was actually better that way. Jennifer wanted to spend some quality time, under the radar.

On their way back to the yacht, Jennifer felt the need to confess one more time. She and Bruce were in a decisive period of their relationship and the opportunity might not present itself before a very long time. No more secret and total honesty; that was their commitment and Jennifer still had something she was struggling with.

“Bruce? I need to tell you something else,” she said.

He became livid and swallowed hard.

“Please... don’t tell me that there was someone else again.”

“My God, no, I’m so clumsy. No, there’s nobody else, Bruce. That’s not what I meant. I just need to talk about something important.”

Bruce exhaled a sigh of relief. “Be gentle. I’m still sensitive.”

“I know. I just don’t want to hide anything from you. I feel that you need to know so that you can understand me, in case I say something awkward...”

Bruce frowned. He clearly didn’t understand.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s about what happened in the sex club...”

Bruce seemed to be relieved and relaxed.

“Okay. What about it?”

“I think I have a fantasy that I need to share with you. You’re my husband and it’s very important for me to have a fulfilling relationship with you.”

She paused but Bruce said nothing. He was waiting for her to finish.

“Do you remember Jeanne?”

“Yeah, Marc and Jeanne.”

“Yes. Well, she talked to me that night and it made me think. I think I really want to try that lifestyle but I’m concerned about your feelings; especially now with our trust issue.”

“You already told me that...”

“I didn’t tell you everything. There’s one particular scenario that really... turn me on.”

She paused and blushed. She wanted to look at Bruce but she couldn’t. She felt incredibly shy and embarrassed to even admit it in front of him.

“Say it,” Bruce said. “What is it?”

“Bruce, don’t be mad please. We’re just talking. It doesn’t mean that I absolutely want to do it but I want you to know. No more secrets, right?”

“Right. Just tell me, I’ll handle it. If it’s just in your head, I can deal with it.”

“I’m obsessed with threesomes... I’ve been fantasizing about that particular situation for a long time now, but I couldn’t tell you.”

“What kind of threesomes?”

“Well... I think you know. I’d like to be taken care of, just like Jeanne the other night.”

“By two men?”

Jennifer cleared her throat and with a little voice, she said, “Yes... two men. You and another person.”

Bruce kept silent but he was breathing heavily. She immediately regretted. It was so stupid, she thought. Bruce would never accept and it would create another problem.

“It’s just a fantasy, Bruce. And it’s meant to stay a fantasy. I don’t want you to think that my goal is to take action...”

Bruce said nothing.

“Are you mad at me? Are you shocked? Are you disgusted or disappointed? Say something, please.”

“I’m a bit surprised, to be honest. But I’m not really upset. I guess it’s not as bad as knowing that you had an affair with another man.”

“Aw Bruce... You’re the only one in my life and in my heart. I belong to you. We can forget about it now that I’ve told you. I’m not hiding anything from you. My intention was to let you know that I have this kind of thoughts...”

“Thank you, Jen. I didn’t expect you to be
that
honest with me, though. You can have secrets, as long as it doesn’t hurt me.”

“I know but I don’t want to live that way. I had to tell you. My sexual life is also your sexual life...”

“Okay, Jen. I’ll think about it.”

Jennifer was speechless. What was he talking about?

“What? No, you don’t have to!”

“Jen, if we don’t confront it now, it’s going to be a bigger problem down the road.”

“No, it won’t.”

“You already felt the need to satisfy your desires with Enzo and you could barely resist him. Who knows what you can do in the future, if you feel that desire again? It would be even worse. You’d betray me with not just one, but two men and I don’t want it to happen.”

“Bruce, I won’t do that...”

“Jen, this is my decision and I’ll think about it. We’ll see what we can do about this fantasy of yours.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am. Now, let’s go back to the yacht.”

L
ater that night, Bruce moved in again with Jennifer. It felt good to know that he would be next to her at night. The yacht was really big and felt empty when he wasn’t around. They could finally enjoy the rest of their honeymoon together and hopefully, there wouldn’t be any more drama.

Jennifer now felt peaceful and relaxed. The last few days had been tough and had challenged her. First of all, she felt relieved about her business. This trip abroad had allowed her to gain new perspectives and reconsider her previous dreams.

Jennifer was now much more mature and experienced. She wasn’t the innocent secretary she used to be and New York didn’t seem so overwhelming anymore. Her lifestyle and her ambitions were not what they were at the beginning, and Jennifer had forgotten to adjust her goals.

Her cooking school dream wasn’t based on reality. It had always been something unclear and distant in the future, something that she had romanticized after reading books and watching too many movies.

She didn’t really feel good about that particular project and realized that she was actually more comfortable as a private chef. Her clients were influential and powerful people; most of them were very friendly and interesting. They always had something to teach her, whether it was about business, politics or life in general.

Jennifer realized that it would be stupid to give up such a great opportunity to be around these people. What could she really gain from being a cooking teacher? What kind of people would she meet?

The hiring process was already a big problem in and of itself, and had given her a taste of what she could expect if she decided to go further.

Things were clear now. It wasn’t for her. It wasn’t her path. Destiny had put her on another path; a path that she had neglected at first, thinking that it was an obstacle when it fact, it was the greatest opportunity of her life.

Jennifer decided to call New York and canceled everything: no more cooking school for her. She didn’t feel anything about it. She didn’t feel sad or hurt or worried to make a mistake. She had gained clarity of purpose and was impressed by her own determination.

Bruce asked her if she was absolutely sure about her decision. She didn’t change her mind, even though he tried to trick her into thinking she was making a big mistake. It didn’t matter at all. She completely owned her decision and would embrace all the consequences.

What was the worst that could happen anyway? Nothing. She actually had more to lose by giving up a growing business. There was more risk involved with trying something new from scratch and it wasn’t really worth it.

The other topic that had given her headaches, heartaches and sleepless nights was her confession. She was finally free from the guilt of keeping a secret from her husband. She didn’t live in darkness and shame anymore. Bruce knew everything about Jennifer’s affair with Enzo and it would definitely take time for him to recover. Their relationship, their marriage would probably suffer from it at first, but Jennifer knew that she had made the right decision anyway.

It was just the right thing to do. Over the long run, it would pay off and Jennifer hoped that it would even reinforce their mutual trust and love for each other. With time, Bruce would finally see that Jennifer really cared about him. He would realize that she was willing to do anything to win his heart again.

What happened next was something that Jennifer would have never expected. For the next three days, Bruce didn’t touch her at all. Of course, she was aware of his difficulty to trust her but she was hoping for more proximity, more tenderness and signs of affection. Bruce wasn’t cold, though. He wasn’t distant either. They still talked and laughed together, but at night, he didn’t try anything.

They were in the middle of the sea, on a beautiful yacht, but Bruce didn’t seem to enjoy it. He didn’t want to take advantage of the environment to create playful and steamy situations with Jennifer. It was understandable but also, very painful to see him like that. It was like he was unable to feel any attraction for her, or refused to let go.

Jennifer figured that Bruce was holding back. On the surface, he didn’t want to create more problems and acted normal. He hadn’t created more drama and had tried his best to be friendly and funny as usual. But deep inside, there was something wrong.

Jennifer had thought that everything was good, but she had been too optimistic - or too naive. She had broken something in their marriage. She had broken something very fragile in Bruce’s heart. She knew that there was still love in there, but something was missing.

When she tried to raise the subject, Bruce changed the conversation or acted like everything was fine. Jennifer knew that it wasn’t true. Almost a week without sex was not fine; it didn’t look right. Bruce had no meetings, no business deals to close and nothing related to work at all. It couldn’t be about his company anymore; he wasn’t involved in it and had no reason to be stressed or concerned.

The only explanation for his behavior was something personal. It took Jennifer a while to figure out what was wrong with Bruce. Of course, trust was the big issue but it wasn’t something they could force or rush. Jennifer would have to be loyal and prove to him that he had nothing to be worried about, and it was going to be a long process - definitely not an overnight fix.

So what did Bruce expect then? He knew that it would take time, so why be so indifferent? After long hours of reflection, she came up with only one good explanation: resentment.

Bruce held a grudge against Jennifer, even though he didn’t want to admit it. Maybe, he didn’t even know it himself. It wasn’t something he was aware of; it was mostly unconscious, but it definitely showed in his attitude and it dictated his whole behavior. In a way, he was trying to punish her; not in a harsh and violent way, but in a more subtle, passive-aggressive type of reaction.

He would make sarcastic comments out of nowhere, tease her constantly without being sweet, complain about little things - he wasn’t happy. There was something in his mind that made him irritable, even though he was trying to be nice.

Jennifer realized that the impact of her confession had been extremely powerful and had hurt him very deeply. He had forgiven too easily and too fast. It definitely came from a good intention but it was too early to be genuine. It couldn’t have been that easy. No relationship would remain strong after such a low blow, Jennifer knew it. She couldn’t blame Bruce and decided it was her responsibility to help him.

Bruce was the kind of man to hold back a lot of things in his personal life. He had built this habit over time and he wouldn’t change by himself. His ex-girlfriend had initiated this process by cheating on him at the worst moment in his life. Then, Bruce became super successful and started to attract a lot of people, very often for the wrong reasons. He had built a shell around him and maybe, there wasn’t much left inside.

Jennifer wondered what she could do to reverse the process, or at least, allow Bruce to let go more often. Now that he had sold his company, things would slowly get better but the personal issues would remain unless someone helped him.