BOMAW 1-3 (50 page)

Shawn sighed. Actually, he'd wanted to be alone with Sylvia, but giving her a quick glance, hoping she'd look his way proved in vain, she kept her face averted. After everyone was in and ready to pull off for taking Sylvia's car back, she sat longing for Shawn. As angry as she was, determined still to break it off, she felt his absence. Her body was actually physically moved by the fact that he was in a separate vehicle. Such strong internal turmoil over him just being in another vehicle stunned her, she was afraid that she was in deeper than she ever imagined. They started pulling out of the hotel, Meribel followed Shawn, and Derrick followed his wife.

"Okay...spill it. What's going on? I ain't gonna be beating around no bullshit bush. What's happening with you two?" Meribel asked bluntly.

"Nothings happening...we're just…" Sylvia trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Just what?" Meribel pressed.

"I-I don't know if we're going to make it, that's all."

"Make it, as in…together?"

Sylvia looked at her. "Yes."

"Why not? Aren't you in love with him? He sure as hell in love with you!"

"How would you know that?"

"Because you're all he's been talking about for the last…I don't know how many months! He's been calling Derrick for like…every week, talking about you. His mom and dad know about you. His other brother and sisters know about you. That tells us, he's head over heels! Shawn—does not go on and on about any woman! There wasn't even a big to-do over his first wife, Angela's mother. He just showed up out of the blue with her and said, 'Hey everybody I'm married. This is my wife, we're having a baby.' But you…he can't stop talking about you. I'm telling you, he and Derrick were on the phone until two in the morning about something that happened with you a while back. I think…someone broke into your house and attacked you, and Shawn got there just in time to stop it."

"You all know about that?" Sylvia asked, surprised.

"Yes, we do! You left, took off, and he was a mess. He didn't know where you were, if you were even okay. Derrick had to help him think straight and gave him ideas on how to find you, because he couldn't sleep at night and was keeping us up! Over you! So don't you sit here telling me, 'you don't know if you're going to make it'!"

Sylvia sat back, more confused than she'd ever been in her life. This picture just painted of Shawn didn't fit what Georgiana Wherrington painted of him. She was quiet a moment, then said, "I'm so scared of him, Meribel. I'm so afraid of what he makes me feel. There are things that have happened, things brought to my attention that he didn't share with me. Today I stood at the courthouse feeling an absolute fool. After Armundo, I'm not gonna be stressing and fighting and arguing and being humiliated. I did that enough with Armundo. I learned an important lesson while being married to him; don't be so quick to defend, until you have all the facts."

"Hang on, hang on, hang on…somebody said something to you? Who?"

"I can't share what she said because it's private, but it's something I'm going to bring before Shawn."

"Who is she? His ex-wife said something to you?"

"No, her mother."

"I see, and I take it that it wasn't good?"

"No, not at all."

"Could she have been lying?"

"No…she knew things that she would have known only if what she said was true."

"Look! I don't know what she said. I don't know what this is all about…but what I do know, and what I am positively sure of is this: he is in love with you! Like we've never seen him before…not ever! Shawn has been through a lot of shit in his life. Stuff that only Derrick and I know about—"

"Stuff like what?" Sylvia asked with curiosity etched on her face.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, girlfriend, you need to get this from him! I'm not telling you shit! I've told you all I'm gonna tell you."

"That's the problem! He's not telling me anything! I have to hear bullshit from people like his ex-wife's mother! That woman should not have had anything to use against me that I wasn't prepared for! It was up to Shawn to tell me all the important things that might jeopardize our relationship! He claims to love me—then he needs to be straight up with me! After Armundo, I need to be one hundred percent certain. He's good at sweeping me off my feet, being the dazzling gentlemen and all that, but it's all bullshit that don't mean a hill of beans if I can't trust what we have. Only way I can trust, is by knowing, being equipped up front—then I'll fight. But I'm not gonna be anybody's fool. That includes Shawn McPherson."

"Well…I can't blame you there. You're right, he should have come clean and told you everything. But…in his defence, he's come back from a long way down. His parents mean the world to him. His brothers and sisters are his heart and soul. He always regrets not being here for them because he took off. All I can tell you is this, Sylvia: he's made up of all the right stuff. He really is. But that don't mean he's perfect. All I know for certain is this: there is no way he would be telling his whole family about you, if this wasn't deep and real for him. So…hey, if you have to…give him hell…but don't give him up. You'll be regretting it just like his ex-wife does, if you do."

"How do you know that? That she still loves him?"

"Because she sends us Christmas cards still, and calls and tries to talk to me. It's all to try and keep tabs on him. You can always tell. She was always fishing for what is going on with him. The fact is…now…it's all about you. It's all about you two."

Sylvia sighed thinking,
no...it's about us three.
Then she smiled and corrected herself thinking of Angela.
Us four…

"Give me a kiss. Now you know how to act, don't you? Listen to your uncle and aunt, your grandma and grandpa—"

"I know, daddy, I'll be good. Thank you for letting me go," Angela returned, pulling away from her father after a kiss, more excited than she'd been in a long time to be around other kids, and now, her father's family. She'd been doing nothing but laughing and having fun ever since his brother and wife came with their kids. She turned to Sylvia. "Bye, Sylvia." Sylvia knelt before her to give her a hug. "Bye-bye, sweetie; can you do me a favor while you're gone?" she asked. With surprised eyes, Angela nodded. "Sure, Sylvia, what?" Sylvia's eyes held hers as she began, "First, have lots and lots of fun." That made Angela nod with a smile. "Second, and this is really, really important, okay?" Angela nodded waiting. "I want you to be very mindful of picking up after yourself. Volunteer to help with the dishes. Don't leave a mess anywhere you play. Keep your things neat and tidy in one spot, not all over the place, and be quick to pitch in and respond to the adults your father has left you in care of. Will you do that for me?"

"Okay, Sylvie, I will. I've never done dishes before, though, but I'll try."

"Good enough, that's all I ask. Now go have fun." She hugged her and Angela turned and leapt into the running van to take her place next to her cousin Sasha.

"She'll be fine, see you guys later!" Meribel called as Shawn pulled the van door closed.

"Alright, thanks a lot you two! See ya later," Shawn finished, backing away from the van so his brother could get going. He stood waving, thinking of the motherly advice Sylvia just gave his daughter, making him even more certain they were meant to be, as he watched the van cruise down the road until it made the curve and was out of sight. With dread he turned to see Sylvia staring off at it as well. Taking a deep breath, he was the first one to speak.

"Okay, she's gone…time for us to talk. So, what's going on?" he asked as they stood in his driveway.

"I don't know what's going on, how about you tell me?"

"I'm not the one with the mood swing, no hostility coming from me," he assured her.

"First of all, this is not a
'mood swing'!
"

"Alright, alright ,alright, sorry. Wrong words. Whatever the problem is, can we go inside and deal with it?" he asked with his hands raised in surrender.

Rolling her eyes angrily, she turned and made her way to his porch steps, pulling her keys from her purse to unlock the front door. Entering his home, she put her purse and keys on the table there and made her way straight towards the kitchen. At the sink, she turned on the tap to run water, getting a glass, she tested the temperature and filled it. Shawn entered behind her, looking around; in the kitchen on the table lay papers from the police who'd inspected his home. His keys were there as well, as they'd promised—they'd left them for him. He picked up the paperwork and noted it was a list of what they'd taken from the house. His computer, his laptop, and various home movies. It said they would call him when he could come and pick up his equipment. There were four sheets, he stood in the wide doorway, taking deep breaths, looking them over and preparing himself. He glanced up from the papers to watch Sylvia drain two full glasses of water. She turned from the window to look at him, then at the papers in his hands. "What's that?"

"List of what was taken from here."

"Maybe you should check around and see how they left the place. I'll be across the road."

"I'll see what they did later, right now—we need to talk, this is more important."

Sylvia leaned back against the counter, her hands braced backward with the heels of her palms and fingers gripping the countertop, staring across the room at him a few moments and decided to get right to it. "Today…while you were in the judge's chamber with Deidre, her mother had a few words for me. Words that froze me to the core, and shocked the hell out of me. And I'm going to tell you right now, I felt such a complete ass, because there was nothing I could say back to her. Right then, right there, I knew…that I don't know you. I only know what you've given me, and I can assure you, it was nothing I could use to rebuff her. All the old bullshit feelings of what I had to face with Armundo slammed right back in on me, full force. Feelings of being in the dark and looking the fool as everyone whispers around me, because they know things that I don't. I'm telling you right here, right now—I'm not going through it again. This is not what I'd planned for me for the rest of my life. To be honest with you, I'm not so sure anymore if being in your life…is a good thing."

Shawn felt on fire inside. He was rigid with anger, as if another person was sharing his body at that moment, while he gave way to the fantasy of smashing in Georgiana's face. He'd never struck a woman in his life, but that was one, that he was afraid he'd have no problem slamming. He turned sideways in the doorway, his right hand braced up high as he fought back aggressions he couldn't use right then. "That bitch," he muttered low, then looked over at Sylvia.

"So, it's true? Not that I need you to confirm it, because I already know what she told me is. What I need to know is
you
. The real you. No more games, okay? Drop the cute grin, drop the charm, drop the bullshit. I need some truths here, if there is any chance of you and I ever marrying. To be honest, I don't see it happening. There were things you should have told me before you put this freakin' ring on my finger!" With that, she yanked it off and slammed it on his kitchen counter, taking her hand away as she felt her anger building. "Nothing to say?" she asked.

"Yes, I have plenty to say. I'm just trying to figure the best way to sort it out and lay it on the table for you. But, can you please put the ring back on."

"No! Hell no! Mention it again, and I'll launch it out the freakin' window!"

Shawn's stomach was aching as he fought for control. "First of all, calm down."

"No…don't tell me to calm down. I'll calm down when I know what the hell I've gotten myself into!"

"Well, then, at least come and sit down; I need to go get something."

"I'm fine right where I am."

He stood staring at her with her stubborn stance. Exhaling deep, he turned, disappearing down the hall. She heard him rummaging through something in one of the back rooms. A few minutes later, he returned with golden, thin tissue carbon-copy papers of some kind and laid them on the table.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Proof."

"Proof of what?" she pressed.

"Proof that I've been tested for HIV four times, each one came back negative…proof that I'm clean."

"Well, that's sure nice to hear! Why do you feel that is relevant to what's going on right now?"

"Because I'm gonna come clean. Everything…and…in a few minutes…" he stopped and exhaled nervously as he rubbed his stomach. "Umm, you umm…you'll just need to know that health-wise, disease-wise…I'm clean."

Sylvia felt more dread building, her mind in a whirl as to why he would need to show that proof to her, which suggested a certain lifestyle that he felt a need to test that many times. With her heart hammering, she blurted, "Oh, my god…are you gay? Or been gay? Have you slept with men?" she asked with her heart pounding. Shawn looked up incredulously. "Hell no! No, no, no, no, no," he fired out rapidly.

"Then why the paperwork!"

"Because in my past, when I was very young and very dumb, in my early twenties, I lead a highsex lifestyle. I mean, at that time, back then…I had intercourse with quite a few women. I always used a condom, but they're not always one hundred percent."