Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1) (8 page)

              Nicky took both her hands in his own and squeezed tightly. “This may feel strange but I promise it won’t harm you. Just hold tight to my hands and you’ll be okay, I promise.”

              The feel of his hands helped steady her a bit and she nodded her head. Nicky closed his eyes and his brow knit in concentration.

              The shadowy details of the library disappeared as the room went black around them. The sound of gusting winds filled her ears but the air around her did not move. As soon as the sound started, it stopped and the blackness around them lightened to reveal another room.

              The achingly familiar walls that were around her started her body shaking all over again. They were in the living room of her apartment. There was her coffee table with the stacks of magazines she had been meaning to throw out. There was Xander, her grey tabby cat, jumping down from her old couch to come rub up against her legs in greeting.

              Despite the fact that she had no idea how they had gotten here, being in her own home beat back the panic that had been slowly strangling her. She was able to take several deep cleansing breaths and her heart calmed down to a reasonable tempo.

              She looked out the window to see people standing on the balcony of one of the apartments in the building across the street. The sound of the cars driving by floated up from the street below and footsteps echoed through the ceiling from the apartment above her.

              Her world still existed. Somehow knowing that comforted her and she was able to stand without her knees shaking. As she stared out the window at the building across the way, its illuminated windows showing the shadows of its occupants moving around, a buzzing began in her ears.

              …I can’t believe he’s drunk again…Should I be good and make a salad or be bad and order pizza…God why am I so lonely…she’s with him again tonight, I know it…how am I going to make rent this month…

              The voices began to get louder as more joined the chorus, talking over each other until they were nothing more than a constant wailing. She clamped her hands over her ears to try to drown the sound out but it didn’t help. They just grew louder and louder until she felt as if her head was going to split open and her brain would fall out of her skull. She pressed her hands tighter against her skull as the pain reached its zenith. She wanted to die just to make it stop.

              …Cordelia, I want you to think of a brick wall…

              Nicky’s voice was a faint beacon in the hurricane of voices in her mind. She fumbled in the swirl and latched on to it, letting it anchor her in the abyss. She did as he told her, picturing the red brick of the apartment building she had just seen. As the stone and mortar constructed itself in her mind, the howling voices lowered as if someone was punching the volume button on a remote.

              …Good girl. Now I want you to think of a steel door sliding over it and locking…

              That was going to be a snap.
Ocean’s Eleven
had been on television the other night and she had caught the last hour. She pictured the casino vault door that Danny and the boys had been able to thwart and she heard the electronic beep of its magnetic locks sealing.

              Silence washed over her instantly and she took a deep breath through her nose, calming herself with the cleansing breath. She slowly lowered her hands from her ears, her head aching from the pressure she had put on her skull in her distress. Her jaw ached from having clenched it tight as she was washed away by the voices. Her entire body was trembling and she eased herself forward, bracing her hands on the floor to steady herself.

              Nicky was down on one knee before her, a hand on her shoulder as he looked up at her with concern.

              “What was that?” she asked, her voice quivering and Nicky squeezed her shoulder in reassurance.

              “There is more to the change than just fangs and immortality. We possess an array of abilities beyond greater physical strength and rapid healing. Telepathy, telekinesis, shape shifting, time manipulation, elemental control…our race has been known to possess all of them at one time or another.”

              She had stopped listening at the mention of telepathy. She remembered the sentence fragments she had heard clearly before the voices had combined into a mass of white noise. They were the worries that the average person always had buzzing through their subconscious.

              Jesus, it wasn’t possible. There was no way she could read people’s thoughts.

              “Yes you can and it is quite impressive.”

              The happiness that spread through her body at the sound of pride in his voice was unexpected. It reminded her of when she was younger and would come running home from school to show her father the A she had gotten on the latest quiz. He had always made a big show of putting it on the fridge. His unwavering pride in her had been one of his best qualities. And just as she had with her father, she craved the sight of pride reflected in Nicky’s eyes.

              “Most fledglings only have a psychic connection with their clan members so that they can call their clan if they are in danger. The ability to read human thoughts usually doesn’t come until later and sometimes it takes years. You must have a strong mind to be able to read them already. Unfortunately, this means you will act like a giant satellite for thoughts and emotions. You will have to shield yourself so you are not constantly bombarded by other’s thoughts.”

              “The brick wall and the steel door,” she said, understanding dawning on her.

              “It is a very simple shield that will keep you from picking up the thoughts others are broadcasting without knowing it. Unfortunately, that group is made up of most humans. Our kind learns to keep shields in place to prevent us from sending thoughts out and to keep other Shadow Walkers from digging through them. I can teach you how to build stronger shields so that you will not be vulnerable to another Shadow Walker.”

              “Good. The idea of someone rooting through my private thoughts skeeves me out. Hell, the idea of me rooting through others’ private thoughts skeeves me out.”

              Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as Nicky lowered his head in shame. “I offer my sincerest apologies for doing this to you.”

              Her heart broke at the pain in his voice and she pushed herself off the floor and into his arms, hugging him tightly.

              “Please don’t apologize. It’s okay, I swear it, and I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’ll take someone reading my mind over being dead any day. You saved my life. Please don’t ever apologize for that.”

              He hugged her back fiercely and she felt a peacefulness sweep over her. She had not realized that even after all these years she still missed her father terribly. In Nicky’s arms, she felt the security she had always felt in her father’s arms. How funny that she would find an exceptional father figure in the body of a teenage boy. Her father would find the humour in that and she hoped he was laughing at all of this wherever he was now.

              Nicky loosened his embrace and looked up at her. “I can’t promise you I won’t apologize again. As time passes you will gain more abilities and you might not like all of them.”

              “Well if one of those abilities is that little teleporting thing you did earlier, I won’t complain. That trick would save me a lot of time and the hassle of commuting.”

              Her words did as she intended, coaxing a smile from him. “Yes, you will eventually be able to do that. Once the change is complete in your body, you will be strong enough to walk through the shadows.”

              “So I just snap my fingers and end up anywhere I want in the world?”

              He chuckled at her. “It’s not quite that simple. You can only move through darkness, hence the name Shadow Walkers. The shadows are where we are most comfortable and so we can use them as a pathway. You need only to picture the place where you wish to go and you will appear in the shadows there.”

              “That’s pretty neat. You said that there are other things that our kind can do, telekinesis and time manipulation, when can I do that stuff?”

              “It will depend. There will be some talents that will come more naturally than others and there may be some that you won’t be able to master,” he told her and at her frown, he reached out to pat her on the shoulder reassuringly. “Just like humans, it is very difficult for a Shadow Walker to be good at everything.”

              Well, at least she wouldn’t be a complete and total failure at this. Even if she sucked at the other talents, she had the psychic gift to fall back on. Though maybe she shouldn’t be that grateful for that particular gift. If it hadn’t been for Nicky, she could have gotten sucked under that psychic tidal wave. Who knew if that would happen again and what if there wasn’t anyone around to rescue her next time.  

              “Do not worry, child,” he told her, whether sensing her mood change or reading her thoughts, she didn’t know. “I promise to make sure that you are completely prepared for your new life.”

              Your new life.

              It was true; she did have a new life. She looked around her apartment and saw it through different eyes. She had needed the familiar surroundings to anchor her when so much around her was in upheaval but things were different now. Though it had only been a day since she had changed, her mind was creating a large divide between today and yesterday.

              She looked out the window, her new eyes able to see the people in the night with absolute clarity. In the building across the way, an elderly man was smoking his pipe out on his balcony, which he did every night after his dinner. The woman who worked at the market on the corner was rolling up the canvas eaves as she closed up for the night.

              Everything was much the same as it had been yesterday, everything except for her. She could see them but she knew that she wasn’t like them. There was no more internal debate about the reality of what she was experiencing. This wasn’t a coma or a dream. She was a Shadow Walker and that meant she wasn’t part of this world anymore.

              She looked back to Nicky. “What happens when you are done teaching me?”

              His brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

              “What will I do? Do I start haunting dark alleys and cemeteries? Or is there some supernatural duty that I have to take up now?”

              Nicky laughed. “Being a Shadow Walker means the same thing as being a human: acting on your free will. It is your choice to do whatever it is that you want. You can continue the life you have here, with a few changes. You won’t be able to be out in the daylight but other than that, you can pass yourself off as a human.  Or you can start a new life in another place.”

              His hand squeezed her shoulder in comfort. “It is your choice to make. Just ask yourself what it is that you want.”

              She took a moment to think about it. It seemed like such a simple question but for her it was something so much more. What did she want? She didn’t want the life that she had been living as a human. She was a ball of insecurities, still haunted by the spectre of her mother, and feeling like she never belonged. With Nicky, in his world, she didn’t feel that way anymore. In the brief time she had spent in his home and with his family, she felt like, for once, she finally belonged.

              “I don’t want the life I had. I don’t want to be that person anymore,” she whispered, her voice filled with pain and regret. “When my dad died, my mother changed. She’d never been the warmest woman but I never felt like she didn’t love me. Then he died and any love she had felt for me before was gone. I lost my family and my place in the world and I didn’t realize how alone I’ve been. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

              Nicky took her hands in his own, squeezing gently.

              “You aren’t alone anymore, Cordelia.”

              She could feel the strength and love in Nicky fill her from where their hands were joined. Warmth moved up her arm and settled directly around her heart.

              “I know what I want. I want to be where I belong, with you and the rest of your family.”

              His smile was absolutely radiant. “
Our
family, Cordelia, they are our family.”

              She smiled at that. It had been too long since she had a family. She was happy to leave her old life behind, knowing that she would be gaining so much more. There was only one aspect of her old life that she would miss. Gabe. He had been a good friend; a bright spot in an otherwise dreary life. But now she was determined to fill her new life with many bright spots. She would not let this second chance at a family go to waste.

Chapter 5

On Friday night, Cordelia found herself seated at the large table in the dining room, surrounded by the people that were now her family. It had been two weeks since Nicky had brought her back from her apartment with Xander and some of her things in tow. Xander had made himself quickly at home, charming all the occupants of the manor. He was currently curled up in Anne’s lap as she snuck him bites of chicken from her plate. Cordelia had been fortunate enough to find the same welcome, though she got to eat straight from the spread of food on the table.

And the spread was
amazing
. All of it had been whipped up by Giovanni, the human cook that the clan employed. When Nicky had introduced them during a tour of the manor, Giovanni had asked after her favourite foods to add to the nightly menu. She had been surprised to be asked, her knowledge of vampires was that they only fed on blood, but Nicky had explained that Shadow Walkers could still eat human food. Though blood was necessary for nourishment of their bodies, most Shadow Walkers also consumed human food for the simple enjoyment of the taste.

She definitely understood the enjoyment of food. Her sense of taste seemed to be heightened, or Giovanni was a magician with food. Either way she had eaten more than her fill of Giovanni’s delicious food over the weeks and she regretted nothing about her indulgence.  Tonight’s first meal had been delicious; eggs Benedict and fresh from the oven turnovers that Cordelia had been content to stuff herself with, especially since the calories would be efficiently processed by her body with no annoying side effects like weight gain.

The meal had been finished for a while, everyone lounging back in the chairs, sipping coffee and conversing. They all had an excellent rapport which each other.

Demetri and Marcus were constantly teasing everyone and Mary was always zinging them with deadpan one-liners. That left Anne to act as the mediator between the three of them. Olivia was the matriarch of the family, watching over all of them with a loving eye and a tongue poised to scold if needed. Nicky sat at the head of the table, presiding over all of them as the ancient patriarch with the face of a boy.

There was an empty seat to the right of Nicky that she presumed was normally filled by Remy. Nicky had explained that his oldest child was overseas on a business matter but would be back soon. She wondered what he would think of her arrival into the family. She hoped he would like her and she would like him. She loved it here with these people.

“I just want everyone to know that while I understand that I am no longer the youngest in the family, I still expect to get  as much attention as I did before. You don’t want to start up some bad sibling rivalry just because you brought a new baby home.”

Mary turned to Anne. “It’s been centuries and I still can’t forgive you for siring him.”

“He was so adorable, like a puppy,” Anne said with a loving look in Demetri’s direction. “I just had to bring him home.”

“I’ve been wondering something,” Cordelia said, looking at Demetri and Anne. “Do you consider yourselves married or is it just eternal dating?”

              Anne laughed loudly while Demetri had a look of disgust on his face. “That is gross and you are gross for even thinking it, Cordelia.”

“Oh ignore him,” Anne said, waving Demetri away as he continued to make disgusted noises. “You aren’t the first one to think we’re in love. People have been doing it for centuries. He just likes being dramatic. For us, we are soul mates but not the romantic kind. He is my other half and I am his. The best way to describe it is that we are twins.”

“Yeah, twins that weren’t just separated at birth by conniving parents but by time itself. Anne was cursed to spend centuries searching before she finally found me being my awesome self. And thank God it didn’t take longer because she was a real bore until I came into her life and showed her how to lighten up. You know, our story would make a really great Lifetime movie of the week,” Demetri said and Cordelia had to laugh at his earnestness.

He was a complete goofball and didn’t seem to take anything seriously yet when he looked at Anne, she could see the dedication there. Despite his flippant comments and sarcasm, he would lay down his life for her. She understood that feeling; it was the same feeling that had ignited inside her when she first laid eyes on Nicky.

She looked up and saw that he was watching her with a small smile. It was as if he somehow knew what she was thinking. Check that, he did know what she was thinking.

…I mean it; I would do anything to protect you…

…And I would do the same…

The emotion behind his voice in her head filled her and she became overwhelmed by the love that she felt. Tears sprang to her eyes and she had to duck her head, afraid that the others would see them and ask what was wrong.

There was no way she could put into words exactly why she was crying. She didn’t even really know herself but she did know they were happy tears. She finally felt the relief that came from knowing she had found where she belonged.

As she tried to wipe away the tears discreetly, Nicky cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention on him and give her some privacy.

“What are everyone’s plans for tonight?”

“I’ll be in the lab,” Anne said. “The tests I ran last night will have produced results and I’ll be combing through them.”

Anne had invited Cordelia into her laboratory in the basement a few days after she had moved in. Anne had said it was part of the complete tour of the manor but Cordelia soon learned that she’d brought her down for her blood. Anne was currently researching the effects of Shadow Walker blood on cancer and she was always looking for donors.

“Do you think you’ll have something to go on?” Cordelia asked.

“I’m hopeful,” Anne said, “But you can never be sure. The hypothesis is solid but it’s no guarantee. I remember when I was working on the polio vaccine with Salk…”

Mary groaned loudly. “You just had to get her started, didn’t you Cordelia?”

“Oh be quiet,” Anne said, glaring at Mary. “What are your big plans for the night then?”

“Me and Demetri are taking Cordelia out to Roxy,” Mary said.

“Well that is news to me,” Cordelia replied. “What’s Roxy?”

“It’s a nightclub owned by our friend Cassian. Good music, good drinks,” Demetri explained.

“I’m not really the clubbing type,” Cordelia said. “I’m more of a bar with pool and darts type.”

“Time to expand your horizons,” Mary said with a grin. “Roxy is a lot of fun and it’s time for you to meet other Shadow Walkers outside of this house.”

Cordelia looked to Nicky, not seeking his permission exactly, more his thoughts on the matter.

“I think it is a good idea,” he replied. “You need to go out and have some fun. Tonight is my monthly chess game at the Damianus clan home. I don’t expect to be back until dawn and I hate for you to just sit around here. Go out and have some fun.”

With no one else to provide any valid objections, Cordelia knew she was backed into the corner. Not that she hated the idea of going out, it was more the destination. She’d never really liked the club atmosphere; too loud, too crowded, too uncomfortable. And then there was the dress code that forced her out of her comfy jeans and into some too short dress. That’s when it dawned on her that there was a valid objection she had missed. 

“I don’t have anything appropriate to wear to a club,” Cordelia said. It was true, her wardrobe was nothing but jeans, t-shirts, a pinstripe pantsuit that she reserved for job interviews and a black dress for funerals. They’d be hard pressed to find anything remotely decent.

“Don’t worry,” Mary replied. “I anticipated this and took the liberty of ordering you some clothes online. They’re upstairs. You can try them on then I’ll take a crack at your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Cordelia asked, self-conscious hands going to her ponytail.

“Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s gorgeous, in fact,” Mary replied. “It’s why I want to get my hands on it. Thick and long with lots of body, there are so many styles we can do.”

“Mary likes to play dress up,” Anne said. “You’re a new doll to her.”

“I’m artistic and people are just another type of canvas,” Mary said. “Just be grateful I haven’t gotten into tattooing yet.”

“You’re always welcome to come help me in the lab instead, Cordelia,” Anne offered and Mary laughed.

“Please, she’s not going to run the risk of discovering Shadow Walkers can be bored to death.” Mary rose from her chair and smiled at Cordelia. “Come on, let’s go see how your new clothes fit.”

“I’ll meet you guys at the garage in an hour,” Demetri told them. “I’ve got a few files I have to work on to finish up the Keyser Soze we pulled on you, Cordy.”

It had been Nicky’s suggestion that the best way to put her human life behind her would be to have her die. Apparently in spite of Demetri’s dopey appearance and attitude, he was talented with computers and had been using that knowledge to have her officially declared dead. A phone call to her landlady and to Mitch posing as her next of kin had tied up those loose ends and once Demetri had completed whatever hack jobs he had to do online the world would think her dead.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help with that?” she asked, looking for an out on the dress-up party. “I feel guilty leaving that all in your hands when it’s for my benefit.”

“Nice try but you can’t get out of this,” Mary said, throwing an arm around her shoulders and guiding her out of the library towards the grand staircase. “It’s going to be fun so stop fighting it.”

Cordelia kept any witty comebacks to that one to herself as they went to Mary’s bedroom. It was the same suite style as Cordelia’s own room but whereas hers was decorated in shades of red, Mary’s was done in rich greens and golds. 

“Okay, here’s the first outfit,” Mary said, handing her a pile of clothing and pushing her in the direction of her walk-in closet. “The boots that go with the skirt are in the closet.”

Cordelia stripped down to her underwear and pulled on the simple black A-line skirt, worried that the thing would be short enough to leave her ass hanging out but luckily it came to just above her knees. It was then she saw that the rest of the outfit consisted of a black satin corset with silver embroidery work along the boning. 

“Mary, I can’t wear this!”

“Why not?”

“It’s so not me.”

“And who are you?”

“I’m someone who doesn’t wear this. I’ll look stupid.”

“You won’t look stupid. You think you’ll look stupid because you’ll look different. Different isn’t stupid. Just give it a chance.”

“Fine,” she sighed and pulled on the knee-high leather boots Mary had left out before strapping herself into the corset. “I’m going to need you to tighten the laces on this thing.”

Mary came into the closet, her smile wide as she gave her the once over. “See, you don’t look stupid, you look good.”

Cordelia took the chance to study herself in the mirror while Mary stood behind her and adjusted the laces of the corset. The skirt came to just above her knees and with the knee high boots, she really wasn’t showing that much bare leg. The corset wasn’t as uncomfortable as she expected and she had to admit it did give her a flattering hourglass shape. Yes, the ensemble was outside her comfort zone but that didn’t necessarily mean it looked bad.

“There we go,” Mary said with a pat against her back. “Now, go sit at the vanity and I’ll do your hair. When I’m done, you’re going to have beat the men off with a stick.”

“I don’t know about that,” Cordelia said with a laugh as she sat down and Mary began to brush out her hair. “I’ve never had the best of luck with men.”

“There wasn’t anyone special back in your old life?”

“Not really. I was always that girl who was ‘one of the guys’ or ‘like a sister’ to them. I mean, I dated and had a couple of semi-serious relationships but the last one ended over a couple years ago. There hasn’t been anyone since him.”

…then who is the blond hottie you sometimes think about?…

“Hey!” Cordelia cried out, jerking her head around to glare at Mary and getting the comb stuck in her hair in the process. “Nicky said it was rude to read other people’s thoughts without their permission.”

Mary put her hands on her head, forcing her to turn back around and she began to untangle the comb from her hair.

“Look, I didn’t go rooting around in your head. Sometimes when you aren’t paying attention, you let your guard down and I can’t help but pick up your thoughts. It’s just quick flashes, nothing detailed.”

Well that was good at least. Last thing she wanted was to have her idle fantasies broadcasting out to the whole house.

“He’s hot, you know,” Mary said, grinning at her in the mirror. “Who is he?”

“Gabe, a friend. We worked together.”

“So you two weren’t…” Mary waggled her eyebrows with a saucy grin. 

“No, we are just friends,” Cordelia replied, unable to keep out the note of disappointment in her voice. 

“But you wished you were more than friends, huh?” Mary said around the bobby pins she had clamped between her lips as she pinned her hair. “And let me guess, you didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to ruin the friendship.”