Bound (Bound Hearts #1) (15 page)

I
really wanted to go to college. I loved writing in high school, I learned how to just make believe a lot since my home life was nothing but crap in my eyes so I started writing down my hopes and dreams. In which, turned into short stories. My senior English teacher had noticed this and asked if she could look at it and since I had nothing to hide, I gave it to her. I had been writing off and on for a month and I had about fifty pages written. The next class, she said I had a real knack for writing and that I should really pursue that as my major in college. So that had become my dream. After that summer, and I knew I would find a way to leave, I really wanted to do that. Become an author. I saved up what I could those first six months in Hankerton and I was able to start taking classes.

It was my second week, walking in the line to order my lunch before my class when the girl behind me was talking on the phone. She sounded so bubbly and energetic. I wished that was me. I had just started therapy at my grandparent’s suggestion and my moods would swing from dark to normal. I was thinking that day was a dark one
, because I really wanted to turn and tell her to take her positivity and move on. I knew there was a dark fury above my head and I had no idea what I was supposed to do to get this girl to stop being so happy.

She finally got off the phone, and when it came my turn to order, I was thankful for the small silence so I could concentrate.

When I ordered the bacon, egg and cheese sandwich, (yeah, it was totally midday but I loved me a BEC sammitch any time of day) and just when the counter lady was ringing me up, the happy-go-lucky girl behind me chimed in, “I’ll take the same!”

I cringed at her squeaky voice. I turned, full head on glare and said, “Excuse me, but I was ordering.”

“Hi, I’m Susan, but everyone calls me Susie. Don’t worry,” she turned to the clerk and spoke, “go ahead and add another, I’m buying.” Then she turned back to me and said, “I saw you huddle up closer so you wouldn’t have to hear my conversation with my snarky older brother. Sorry about that. He’s a real pain, so I try to annoy him with all my cheerfulness. Let’s sit down together for lunch. I’ve only lived here in the states for a few years, and I don’t have many friends. We totally have the same tastes in food. We should be friends.”

Whoa. I had no clue a girl could talk so much in one breath. She did seem really nice and I didn’t have anything else better to do before my classes
, so I agreed and sat down with her. She then just started talking about her life in Germany and how growing up there was so very different than anything she imagined anything here would be like. Her dad being in the Army, and falling in love with a woman there. Then she said the weirdest thing as we got up and throwing our empty containers in the waste bin.

“I have a really good feeling about you Adelaide. We’re gonna be awesome friends. I can see it in your eyes chicka. Let’s swap numbers, I’ll text you later and maybe we can meet up!”

I never thought I’d befriend a girl that was my total opposite, but somehow her saying we would be awesome friends made me hope we would be.

∞

And we still are.

Getting comfortable in the bed, I set my head down on the pillow and put the alarm on my phone. Before hitting the hay, I prayed for only good dreams, or none at all.

I did dream though. It was all of Courtland and how every time he kissed me, I swooned. Every touch I melted for him. I didn’t want it to end. I woke up with a smile on my face and couldn’t wait to see him.

Courtland

After I had dropped her off, I headed down to the nearest SEARS before they closed. Within thirty minutes to spare, I got two lounge beach chairs, a huge ass umbrella and then to pick out something for Adelaide to wear. I only looked briefly, and I skimmed through all the one pieces.

I scoffed thinking about her in a one piece bathing suit. I really didn’t want anyone else to go sniffing around her. I knew I was being a total caveman about shit but thinking about another man looking and leering at Addy was making my hackles raise and want to mark her as mine yet again.

I’ve always had a one track mind. When I had it stuck in my brain, I stuck with it and never let go. Like a dog with a bone. I gave up thinking I should c
onfront her about the letter. It really wasn’t anything to me anymore.

Scanning the bikinis, I didn’t like anything they had. Ugh. The one pieces looked too innocent. I didn’t like the tank top thingies with the shorts either. A sales woman came up to me and asked me what I was looking for.

“Is there anything specific you want for your wife?”

My wife? Why else would a man be shopping for swimsuits in the women’s section? I didn’t correct her and just went with it.

“She’s curvy, but I know she wouldn’t like a bikini, I don’t like those tank things, and a one piece is too juvenile. I want her to be covered, but not covered. I know it’s confusing. Sorry. She doesn’t have a bathing suit and I sprung a trip to the beach on her.”

“That’s so romantic. Wish my husband would do things spur of the moment like that sometimes.”

I didn’t really know how to respond, so I just gave her what women had told me was my ‘smolder’ look. The look that no woman could resist.

“Alright handsome, I think I have just the thing.” She walked through a few rows and held up a one piece but the sides were cut out. The print was a rainbow of colors. “This animal print is cute but sexy
. It covers but lets her tan if she wants by unzipping this right here.” She was pointing out all the different ways she could wear the suit and I had already made the decision to get it. “Like you want, it’ll cover all the good parts well and still let her feel feminine and sexy with the back missing.”

“It’s perfect.”

I got her size and I paid for all my purchases before I headed home. When I got there, I set the back cap on top of the bed, and locked it. I waited for her to call or message me and when she didn’t I went ahead and texted her. After our conversation, I rang up JR.

“What’s up bro?”

“Hey JR, wanna go to the beach tomorrow? Is it your day off?”

“Yes, it’s my day off before I work the next few weeks. I got today and tomorrow off before a long stretch. I have a vacation coming up too. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, now that I’m single. Galveston sounds like a winner. What time?”

“I’m picking up Addy and Gram about ten. Spend the day out there.”

“Sounds good. But Courtland?”

I got inside, set the alarms and went to the kitchen for a bottled water.

“Yeah, JR?” He sounded wary and I didn’t know what he was thinking.

“Dude, you think this is a smart move? Hanging out with her so much?”

I was not getting into this with him. “Chet. Don’t.”

“Courtland. I’m serious. You know she’s not gonna be here, but just this week? I knew you fell hard for her when she lived here.”

“What? She was just a kid. I was a man. I did
not
-”

“My ass. After a year of her hanging out with us you got her name inked on your chest while mine was on your back.
I know you only put my name because you said I was your family. And hell if I’m not. You’re like a brother to me. Always will be. After you both were arrested, you were different, and don’t fucking bullshit me. Shit changed. She was seventeen and a young woman. You always treated her with kid gloves, but never like a sister as I did. I don’t think you slept with her, I know you would never do that with her without thinking shit through, but you came out of jail different. It was like your eyes opened up and you were seeing shit different. Then you left.”

I guess we were getting into it after all.

“Listen man-

“When did you realize you were in love with her as more than a best friend Courtland?”

That stopped me cold. I knew he wouldn’t let up either. We were both stubborn ass mules. No wonder where Addy got her stubborn ways.

“That night. Something was just different about her. Whatever happened between Geoff and her, it was bad and when I went to go pick her up, she threw herself into my arms like I was her lifeline. It started creeping up from behind that I knew she was different than any other woman I’ve ever known. I knew I could
look deep inside of her. I don’t know if she ever told you, Chet or Maggie, but if you looked deep into her eyes, there was a hidden agony and a pain so deep inside that maybe someone who was equally feeling that pain or felt it before, could see. I saw it. I don’t know what happened that night, she never told me and she sure as hell never told me since I’ve seen her. She’s different than she was before, but then the same. She’s all edgy, but innocent. I can still see that same girl who hid behind a mask as a teenager and I can tell she’s still hiding behind it. But damn if I don’t see her as a flesh and blood woman now, Chet. She became my world ten years ago.”

“Then what the hell happened? You left that summer,
and man, she was like barely a human being. Like she was just a shell. She came over only a few times. She got a job and worked at much as she could, then right before she would start classes at San Jac Community College, she took off. Just like that. No bye. No note. Nothing. A week later, dad gets a call from her saying she moved to Georgia with Aunt Peggy’s parents and that’s where she wanted to stay. Nothing anyone could do about it, she’d just turned eighteen. She was an adult and could do as she pleased. You were supposed to come home on leave but you made up an excuse not to come visit. So tell me Courtland, what the
fuck
happened?”

“She mailed me a letter that changed the course of my life. The love I felt for her became bitter and I hated everything she wrote. It broke me, knowing she thought so fucking little of me. I never would have thought she’d say I was nothing to her.”

“Bullshit, Courtland. Some letter made you never want to hear about her? Never think about talking to her? Dude, she thought you hung the fucking moon. There’s no way she could have written that you were nothing to her. When she realized you left, she just closed up. There was a wall that no one could get over. Her eyes seemed to dull out as if she didn’t want to be there. Man, most if the time, whenever I tried to get her to do something remotely fun, she shut me down. Said she had to work and boy she fucking worked after knowing you left. I never told her where you went because you asked me not to, but dammit if there wasn’t times that I wanted to. I was almost to my breaking point of getting tired of seeing her so down and out. Then she upped and left. Like a damn ghost. I never had an issue with you leaving. I’m a dude and I knew you would always be a brother to me, but Adelaide was my best friend too. She always came to me with her problems. She’d get into arguments with Uncle Geoff and I guess I never thought anything by it. I mean he’s a pastor, she was in a totally different circle of living. I knew she rebelled against him and maybe that’s where those problems lied. Hell. She left and it damaged not only me, but mama felt it too. Uncle Geoff acted devastated. Aunt Peggy, well, she was always a quiet one.”

Hell. I didn’t know what to think.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. Honestly, Chet. I just know I wanna spend as much time with her as I possibly can. My feelings are only intensifying, man. I can’t stay away from her. I wanna be where she is. That first time I saw her in the bar, I wanted her.”

“Alright. I’m not gonna say anything else.”

“Ugh. Just be ready at nine.”

“Later
, Courtland.”

I took a quick hot shower, dried off and went to sit on my bed to set the alarm. Hopping into bed naked, I wrestled with the thoughts of the conversation I had with JR.

Did Adelaide only write that note ten years ago because she felt abandoned when I left? I didn’t know how to feel about that. She had been such a big part of my life at that time. Maybe I shouldn’t have waited to tell her how I felt. I should’ve kissed her. When I tried calling her, Geoff always had an excuse. Nothing now could change the past.

JR was right about one thing. (Well about a lot of things, but he was always an insightful fucker.) I wouldn’t have slept with her. Especially when she was seventeen. I honestly hadn’t even thought about sex with her. I knew I’d never treat her like one of the fly-bye’s I usually screwed. I definitely would’ve waited for the right time. Waited until she was ready or waited until I put a ring on her finger and changed her name from Hunter to Phillips. Seeing her always brought me a peace I couldn’t describe. She had become my best
friend, just as JR had. It was different because she was female and I never shot the shit with her. Our conversations were quiet and most of the time we sat in a comfortable silence. The few times she came by the house by herself, had been for my birthdays. Usually, JR was always present.

Even when she hid stuff. Hell. I hid a ton of shit about my youth. Growing up under the thumb of one of Houston’s big time pimps and a mother too weak to save me
, made me keep to myself. I didn’t want to let anyone in. I didn’t think I needed to let anyone in. I hadn’t told her about my mother being a hooker until the night we were arrested. She didn’t think that was so bad. She always saw the good in me. Anytime I had ever thought negatively about myself and actually said it out loud, she usually popped my head, telling me never to talk about her best friend like that, or else she’d have to beat me up. She was such a beautiful girl. An angel among us humans.

I knew I was being eaten alive with bitterness and when my mother died, I got the chance to get over my anger. After a while from working with Joe, getting to know him and his wife Mildred, becoming friends with JR, I started letting go of all
what my mother had represented. She explained in the letter her roommate, Foxy, one of the Jane’s she knew when she was younger, gave me. Somehow my mother, Chloe, found out where I was living and told her to give it to me upon her death. She must have known she wasn’t going to be living much longer. She was really young when she had me.

Needless to say, I forgave any-and everything about how she was towards me. Life was way too damn short to be so angry about shit we couldn’t change.

She would be forty-eight right now to my thirty-two. I can’t really say I missed her, because I never knew her. When I was real young and Roth wasn’t around, she had been affectionate towards me. Always holding me and singing to me. Her voice sounded real pretty. That had always stuck with me. But as soon as I started going to school, all that changed. From the letter Foxy gave me, Chloe stopped hooking when she was about my age. Roth was in and out of prison and somehow at one point in his serving, the other prisoners found out about him molesting and selling children, and he ended up being murdered in his prison cell.

Can’t say I wasn’t glad to know he was out of the picture for good. He was a nasty sonuvabitch and never would get sympathy from me. Not after everything he did.

I really hoped Adelaide would give me a chance. I only had a few more days to get her to fall in love with me. I wanted her bound to me in every way possible. We’ve been having unprotected sex, but she has an implant in her arm. I actually felt that shit. Weird. Getting her preggars was out of the question. Unless I got like
extremely
lucky. I knew I’d be a good dad. I had Chet Senior and Joe to look up to. They were awesome parents. When Joe and Mildred’s boy passed away, and I came into the picture, they pseudo-adopted me and he taught me what a good man I could be. What a good man I needed to be.

I wasn’t gonna think about it now. Next thing I knew, it was morning.