Bound (Bound Hearts #1) (17 page)

That seemed to catch her off guard.

“Oh. Uh. No, I didn’t even think about it. I usually don’t wear hats. I’ll be okay.”

I whipped mine off and took her ponytail in my hand as I put it through the baseball cap. It was a little big on her and I adjusted the strap
to fit her. “There. The sun will stay out of your eyes. Besides, I like seeing you in my hat.”

“Shouldn’t it be I like seeing you in my shirt? Not that I’m wearing your shirt.”

“Ha. No. I like this better. But when we leave, I’ll make sure you’re wearing my shirt, since you’re determined.”

“I’m not determined
, Courtland. You have that all backwards.”

Turning her to
send her to the restroom and changing stalls, I smacked her ass playfully and told her to go on. With one last searing gaze, she turned, shook her head and walked away. Damn, she really looked so fine. I couldn’t wait to see her in her suit.

Adelaide

When he pulled up to pick us up, I felt my heart race with excitement. The windows were tinted in his big black pickup truck. I swear he looked like a dark knight in shining armor. Instead of a white horse though, it was black. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to try a little action in the back seat of his truck. That’s another thing I’ve never done. Maybe if I tell him, he’ll find a way for me to find out. I bet he’s had tons of chicks in the back of his pick-up. That suddenly brought a disgusting scowl to my face. Ugh. I didn’t want to think about him screwing some tall, blonde, Barbie slore in this beautiful black chrome and steel monster.

I was so excited to see JR. It’s been ten years. The tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn’t help
, but run and jump in his arms. He sure grew up. When I was a teenager, he was tall and lanky. He was like a tall glass of water. But now, he filled out really good, like a pilsner shape. Uncle Chet was like this, unlike Geoff who was just tall and lanky. JR must have worked out and ate some kind of stuff to bulk him up.

When I asked if he was a ladies man, he seeme
d to shy away and almost got a hard glint in his eyes as if he was thinking of something really unpleasant. But then it had melted away, and the excited smile he had when he saw me returned. Besides Courtland, JR was such a great guy. Cousin of sorts. Well technically he wasn’t even blood related, but I had always thought of him as my cousin and I didn’t want to stop that. We grew up together. The only real friends he had before Courtland moved to town, was his fellow FFA classmates and me.

Even when Courtland moved here and JR had become friends with him, he wasn’t ever a popular guy. He was always friendly and someone who could keep secrets. I knew if I had ever told him the extent of what happened to me at the hands of his Uncle, JR would have probably went apeshit. There wasn’t many times I
’ve ever seen him mad. He was so slow to anger. He had a gentleness when he spoke to people. Also quick to listen, he always thought things through before he spoke.

When he had that phone call from his ex, I’ve never seen him so mad before. He had always been a laid back guy. When Gram told him her first name, I thought it was funny that the girl on the other line caused a stink about it.

Then, when he called her a bitch, it drew me up short. He’s never called anyone a bad name before. He really didn’t curse much. A ‘hell’ or ‘damn’ every now and then. He was a cowboy after all, but he never would call a girl a bitch. This I knew. Ten years barely speaking, did not change that.

I felt bad for him because what girl could do him wrong? He was like one of the most perfect guys. If I didn’t consider him family, I’d probably crush on him. As it was though, the only man I had in my brain was the one sitting in front of me. He set everything inside of me ablaze. Fire and lust coursed through my veins. That’s why I started tickling the fine hairs on the back of his neck.

Damn, he was so sexy. He was wearing stark white swim shorts, flip flops were on his feet and he was sporting a navy blue Texans shirt. On that sexy ass head of his, he was wearing a camouflage Texan’s ball cap. Turned backwards. Either way he wore it, backwards or covering what I knew to be a magnetic green set of eyes. He always wore ball caps. Even while he worked in Joe’s Garage.

∞

When I was back in high school, our neighborhood was close enough that when it was cool enough, I walked home. Geoff never
went home from the church until fifteen after six (where dinner was miraculously always ready) and riding the bus always passed the garage on the way home. Since we had become friends, he would come out of the bays and wait until my bus would pass. When he first asked me what bus number I rode on, I was almost too shy and kinda embarrassed, because I had to ride the bus. I didn’t have my license, so I didn’t have a car. Just another way Geoff kept me under his thumb. But when it told him, he didn’t laugh at me. I felt pleased and excited I had someone always willing to say hi to me. So, whenever I rode the bus, he made it a priority to come out and see me. He’d flick his ball cap back and wink as I wove to him. Then sometimes, when he wore it backwards, he’d lift his head to acknowledge me. It made me feel so special and worthy.

I especially treasured the moments when I did walk home. Since it was only a thirty minute walk home, I was able to spend at least an hour or more with him at the garage. Joe never seemed to mind. Thought it was nice having a girl around. Sometimes it made the guys work harder. Sometimes it made Courtland mad that they paid attention to me, but most were older and sweet, hardwor
king guys. It was only on occasion that he actually spoke to me and when he did, it was always about cars. Said that if I ever had car trouble I would know what to look for.

Thinking back now, it’s probably why I had such a wide fan base for my racing
series. I knew so much about cars, it came in handy. Most of the time though, I just watched him work while I did homework. Being at home just seemed to suck my life away. The last few years in that house had become suffocating and unbearable.

Lucky for me, when it started to get warmer, Courtland just told me to walk to the garage and he’d leave early to take me home. I only did that a few times a week. I knew my mother would never speak to me anyway if she ever noticed I wasn’t there during the normal time I got home
, to how late he brought me home. Courtland always got me home about a quarter till so I had thirty minutes to spare with either help cleaning or helping out with dinner. I figured she didn’t really care either way so I walked home a lot that last semester. I never thought I had a crush on him either. I really didn’t like to think about boys and what they wanted.

∞

He hadn’t shown me what the bathing suit looked like, and I really hope it wasn’t some skimpy ass barely there bikini. I might just have to smack him something fierce.

We finally got to the beach and he had passed me my belongings, and in a sweet gesture to keep my face from sun burning, plopped his hat on my head. Pulling my ponytail through the back. He adjusted the strap and told me to go change. Gram had taken out her wide brimmed straw hat and we walked over to the bathroom stalls and went inside.

“He sure has good taste.” Gram said as I pulled out the suit. It was rather perfect.

We met the guys at the bridge overlooking the beach. JR was setting out the chairs, and Courtland was pushing the umbrella into the sand. He had already removed his shirt. Damn, he looked so good shirtless. I still couldn’t believe he had my name tattooed on him. Right there for everyone to see. When he turned, JR’s first name was on one shoulder blade and covering his back was an elaborate Yai-tzu dragon tattoo. That dragon is the protector and guardian against any physical harm. Which for me is ironic; I wonder where my protection was when I needed it the most in the house I grew up in. But I knew he had got it for his own reasons. He didn’t have an easy time growing up. Also, the tattoo helped cover the cigarette burns Roth gave to him. One arm had his Marine insignia and descended into Celtic knots. Just like his Irish heritage. The other arm had a fallen angel, with his mother’s name, Chloe, written on his wrist. I never thought he cared much for her. He never really spoke of her much.

“Magnificent, are they not, Addy-love?” Gram sighed with appreciation.

“Ha! Yeah, they are.”

That’s when Courtland looked up. For some reason, his stare burned me through and through. I wanted to run into his arms and make everything that was my past disappear and never leave his arms. He always had that look when he stared at me. Always seeing through my darkness. I felt my eyes start to glisten with tears I longed to shed. I burned for him. I closed my eyes briefly, steeling myself against my repressed heartaches and smiled to myself. He always made me want more. I realize that now. Even as friends, every opportunity of time I spent with him, I just wanted more.

I opened my eyes and his look turned soft and gentle. Then he winked. Shaking my head, I hooked Gram’s arm around mine and we made our way to our make shift paradise.

After getting settled, the guys went into the water
. I got settled into the lounge chair, getting out my Surface and keyboard, and dived into my new paranormal romance, while Gram went sea shell hunting.

About an hour in, I was ready for a break. Nice sunny day like this deserved to be used wisely. I saved my work onto my Google Drive and put the surface away. I got up and spread my animal print beach towel out in the sand. I sat down, and was ready to oil my body
, when a figure cast its shadow over me. I brought my hand up to shade my eyes from the hot burning sun as Courtland looked down on me.

“Ready to tan
, babe?”

“Yeah, you got the oil?”

“Is that an innuendo?”

“Honestly? Oh, Courtland, I would hope I’d be turned on enough not to need any extra lubricant.”

“Ha. You totally crack me up. Turn and lay down on your belly and I’ll put it on.” He reached down and picked up his hat and firmly put it back on my head to keep the sun out of my face. “Leave it on when you’re out in this heat. It’s a scorcher today.”

“Yeah, who knew being away from all this would make me
not
really miss it. Gram loves it though.”

Courtland searched his bag for the sun tanning oil and got down on his knees next to me and meticulously massaged the oil into my skin.

“I really like your phoenix tattoo. What made you decide to get that particular one?”

I was glad he couldn’t see my eyes. I didn’t want to lie
, but I didn’t want to tell him the complete truth. I mean, how could I tell him that growing up, I felt ugly and sometimes wished I was never born? No way. I could never say that out loud. He would want explanations. Explanations I wasn’t ready to give. The sick twisted disease of my past left a heavy burden upon me and I didn’t want to drag anyone down with me. Especially someone as beautiful as Courtland.

“When I moved to Georgia and I had started working as a waitress, I had started going to classes for creative writing, and I started
taking my writing seriously. I barely sold any books the first few times. When I finally made the
USA
and
NY Times
bestsellers list, I wanted to celebrate a new chapter in my life. A kind of rebirth to myself. Something to be proud of.”

There. That was
true, at least in part. I really did feel myself being reborn into this person I could make life worthwhile. The old Adelaide was weak, pathetic and unworthy of a Phoenix. At least, that’s what I had wanted to think in my head. Doctor Gillian did tell me I was never weak or pathetic. Just vulnerable. Same damn thing in my book. If I had been stronger, I would have went to the police. Or JR. I knew he would have believed me. Why didn’t I? Shame. Unchangeable shame. Shame I still had to this day. I just hid it a lot better.

“I can understand that. But remember this. You were and still are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He bent and kissed the shell of my ear and finished spreading the oil on
my back and legs. He never copped a feel, like I had thought he might. Perfect gentleman.

My heartstrings were tightening. Thank God his hat covered the few tears that slid down my face. His firm belief that I could never be anything less than beautiful
, made me want to sob. If only he knew the ugliness I concealed inside.

Courtland

She was hiding again. If she didn’t think I heard that sniffle, she was crazy. Did I want to ask questions? Yes, but I knew when her walls were firmly in place. If it had anything to do with the fact I told her she’s always been and always will be beautiful? Well, let me find the sick son of a bitch that put the thought she was ugly in her head. I’ll pummel him into a pulp, until he can’t see a damn thing.

I grabbed my Chevy ball cap and oiled my body up, then laid down next to her.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

I had to get her talking to me. I wasn’t ready to spend a comfortable silence with her just yet. I needed to make her smile.

“Divergent.”

“What?”

“Divergent. It came out a few months ago. It’s a movie made from a novel. I really love when they make movies like that. Especially, if they’re basically true to the book. It was awesome. And Four? Sigh and swoon.”

Shaking my head
, I muttered, “Women.” In return, I got a laugh. Just as I had planned.

“It’s good. We’ll have to watch it. And Frozen.”

“It’s a date. Frozen? Isn’t that a cartoon?” She nodded enthusiastically and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright. Both then. What’s your favorite book?”

I knew this topic would get her talking. She lifted her head onto her chin and looked at me with wonder. I saw a little redness around her eyes
, but didn’t say anything about it. Yet.

“I don’t really have a favorite book per se. But I have been known to have a favorite book from each series an author has. That’s a lot of books. I’ve been writing so much
, I don’t have much time to read, but the last book I read was Convincing Constance from Tabatha Vargo. AH-MAZING! I actually met her once, a while back when I was more reader than writer, and she’s totally laid back and awesome. Then, there’s Touching Fire by Airicka Phoenix. That women killed me with that cliffhanger at the end. She likes putting it to a sister like a pop tart.”

“I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. But I love seeing your eyes shine when you talk about them. Sound like good books. Favorite food?”

She opened her mouth but I cut her off, “Can’t say mac and cheese. Please?”

“Ha-ha. Why not? It’s simple, cheesy and noodly.”

“You’re cheesy.”

“Whatever.”

“That’s mature.”

“I’ll
give you mature.” Then she reached back for something and the next thing I know, I’m being splashed from a water bottle. Damn stuff went right up my nose. Then, Addy jumped up and started running.

“YOU’RE IN FOR IT NOW!” I shove
d myself up and started after her.

She s
creamed with excitement and saw JR walking with Gram and she thought she could hide behind him.

“What’s going on?”

“Save me JR! Courtland got himself in trouble and thinks to pay me back from splashing him with a little water. Isn’t that silly?”

She peeked over JR’s shoulder and I shook my head at her.

Gram just laughed.

“Alright Addy. You win. No retribution.”

I turned and began walking back to the umbrella when Addy ran around them and headed my way said, “What are you? Chicken? BWAK! BWAK!”

Did she not think I wouldn’t catch her this time? She was wrong. I turned and her eyes were full of mischief. “Oh Addy. What am I gonna do with you?”

“Oh,” she looked at JR and Gram settling by our things, then said, “I could think up some things you could do with me. Only question is-are you ready to play a little game?”

I got close so I could look down into her smiling eyes, saying “What little game?”

“Hmmm,” she curled her mouth into an impish smile, then yelled, “TAG, YOU’RE IT!” Then, she ran. She was easy to catch this time, my longer legs had her beat and I lifted her into a fireman’s hold and ran with her into the salty sea water. I got in just deep enough so she’d be able to stand, then I lifted her above my head and tossed her up high and into the water. I stood waiting with my hands on my hips and when I didn’t see her come up, I started to worry.

“Adelaide!” Just as I was about to start diving in, the little minx pulled my board shorts down. Then came up sputtering water and laughing a full bodied laugh. Never have I heard her let go like that. Her laugh was mesmerizing. It seeped into my soul and brightened every dark nook and cranny. Damn
, I could listen to her laugh for the rest of my life and never be unhappy.

I held onto my shorts and made the few steps until I was in front of her. Her eyes were sparkling with mirth
. “Well, I got you. What’s my reward?”

Her laughter died
, but her smile turned shy and a blush stole her cheeks.

“A kiss?”

“Just a kiss?”

“Do you want more than a kiss?”

“Do
you
want more than a kiss?”

“Maybe.”

“A kiss it is.” She lifted her lips to mine, but I only gave her a sweet and gentle one. I wanted her to learn to start trusting me. I couldn’t do that if all we did was have sex. I didn’t even want to call it that, because each time it’s been more than that. “Adelaide?”

“Hmm?”

Her eyes were heavy lidded and I knew she wouldn’t have any problem with me taking it to the next level. My dick was hard and she was willing, but I wanted more. I pulled my shorts up and fixed the strings so they wouldn’t fall.

“Why did you cry when I said you were and always will be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen?”

Quick as a cold shower, the sexual haze she was in sobered. The smile in her eyes turned into what I’ve always seen in them. Pain and despair. Hurt and sadness. Why won’t she tell me what’s bothering her?

“Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you? What’s been bothering you for so long?”

It was barely audible but I heard her say, “What?” Then with more strength she said, “What are you talking about?” Her voice became hard and unyielding.

Sighing, I knew I shouldn’t push her
, but I couldn’t let it go. Someone put that pain in her eyes and it made me want to kill the one who put it there.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Did some guy say you were ugly in some way? Tell me, so I could find him and kill him.” That fact that I was dead serious should have had me pausing
, but not for a second did I think I wouldn’t hurt the one that made her feel ugly.

“Some guy? Ha. Courtland. I’m fine. You see nothing. There’s nothing wrong.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“What? You-

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Excuse me? You wouldn’t know it if I lied to you.”

“Ha. Yeah fucking right. It might have been ten years, but you’re still that innocent little girl you were. You could never lie to me. It’s right there in your eyes.”

“I am not that girl.”

“Yes, you are. You are still that beautiful sweet girl I met twelve years ago. Yeah, you grew up to be a beautiful sexy woman-

“Just stop it!” The vehemence in her voice made me falter.

“Adelaide.
Tell me
. This silence will get us nowhere. You’re locked inside your head and I’ve seen whenever someone says you’re beautiful, you shut off. The walls are firmly raised. A fake smile appears and it’s like you’re waiting to get away.”

“Stop pushing this. Please. Back up
, and let me breathe.”

It took everything inside me to step back and give her enough space to breathe. “Is that en
ough? Or would you rather I back
way
the fuck up? All the way to the sand? Or would you just like me to take you back to the hotel? I mean, don’t let me stop you from leaving. Again.”

“Again? Are you serious?
You
left
me
.”

“I didn’t have a choice!
It was either enlist in the Marines and head straight to boot camp, or go to fucking jail for trespassing! You know that!”

She shook her head with anger. “No. You never told me you were being shipped off to God knows where. You
abandoned
me. I needed you. I needed you and you just left.”

“I
never
abandoned you.” Fuck. I could feel my eyes start to burn. How could she think I’d ever abandon her willingly? Just as I was about to start talking, she held her hand up to stop me.

“Let’s just enjoy this. I don’t want to argue. You
are one of my best friends. I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Have? Like what we’re doing now? Fucking each other until what? You leave?”

“Don’t ever talk to me like that.” She walked around me and started back to shore. Without a tear and with her walls firmly in place.

Fuck. Asshole of the year award goes to none other than me.

I turned and swam to catch up with her.

“Please. I’m sorry. That was a dick move. God
, I keep saying the wrong shit to you. Please, Adelaide, forgive me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship either. I’m sorry I jumped all over you. You know how I am when I get a stupid thought in my head.”

She scoffed
, but wrapped her hand on the inside of my elbow as we walked back to shore. “Yes, I do know. But I also know when I need to stop you from pushing. I can’t-

“It’s okay. Forget I said anything. Let me make it up to you. How about that movie date?”

“Ha. Well, Divergent isn’t out quite yet. But Frozen? Are you ready to get your musical on?”

“Anything for you
, Adelaide Claudette.”

I knew the crisis had been diverted when her lips curved at one side in an easy smile.

“I hate it when people say my middle name. I hate it that you know it.”

“Can’t help it you showed me your school ID when you showed me the quote-unquote
, ‘horrendous’ photo they snapped of you. It really was your own fault.”

“That really was a bad picture. They wouldn’t even let me retake
it. That’s in my senior yearbook!”

“Maybe I should’ve found them and punched them? Maybe then they would have done you justice.”

“You should’ve.” She laughed and sighed. “I’m just not ready to burden you with my crap.”

It took everything I had inside of me
, to not press her further. We got back to the umbrella where JR had his earphones in as he laid out in the heavy sun and Gram was half in and out of the umbrella tanning her legs as she read a book.

I got us comfortable on the sheet under the shade. We could still feel the heat and we ate a few snacks and drank some cold water before settling down on our backs, with her head tucked into my chest.

“I understand, Adelaide. I only want to tell you that you can. I’ll never judge you. Never hurt you. If you ever want to lay your burdens down on my shoulders, trust me enough to tell you they are strong enough to weather any storm or hell you’re carrying.”

Sighing, she cuddled up a little more to me. I wasn’t complaining. Not one bit. I knew it would take time for her to open up to me and I needed to give her the time she needed. Hopefully I could get her to talk to me before she heads back to Georgia. I really wanted to take that sorrow and sadness away from her. I wanted to carry all the weight she
was carrying. I notice how it brings her down.

“The concept you need to know, Courtland. Never say never.” In my periphery, she closed her eyes, shutting out the world. But she still cuddled up to me. And for now, that was enough.