Bound by Honor Bound by Love (5 page)

“
He can when he wants to.”
Onawa thought he was very passionate in bed, and he certainly had
no trouble expressing his feelings. She almost told her friend
this, but Amata was three years younger than her. If Amata was her
age, it would be easier to tell her things of a more intimate
nature. Perhaps when Amata was ready to marry, she might tell her
there was more to Citlali than met the eye.

“
I’m glad he loves you,”
Amata said. “Thankfully, he’s not holding his feelings back from
you.”

“
I’ve loved him ever since
I can remember,” Onawa confessed. “He’d been promised to Woape,
though.”

“
Yes, but he could have
married you, too.”

“
I know.” The notion hadn’t
pleased Onawa at the time, and she was relieved when Woape ended up
marrying someone else so she wouldn’t have to share Citlali with
her. She returned to cutting the squash in front of her and then
added some brown sugar to sweeten it. Sure, he might love her, but
that didn’t mean he might not take a second wife in order to have
more children. Traditionally, it was the sisters the man married,
but that didn’t mean they couldn’t take another wife. Clearing her
throat, she asked, “You don’t think he’ll seek a second wife since
I have no other sisters, do you?”

Her friend’s eyes widened. “You’re the
one who told me he loves you. You know the answer to that better
than I do.”

“
But he might have said
something to your mother.”

“
He hasn’t said anything
about it. At least he hasn’t requested more than one place to
sleep.”

Onawa relaxed.

A few seconds later, Amata nudged her
in the arm. “He’s here.”

She turned her gaze to the entrance of
the lodge and saw Citlali. Her face flushed, and despite the fact
that they’d been intimate the night before, she couldn’t bring
herself to make eye contact with him.

He stopped in front of her. “I need to
speak with you.”

Surprised by the formal tone in his
voice, she looked up at him. The serious expression on his face and
the way he crossed his arms weren’t unusual. She’d come to expect
those things from him, but his tone had been more on the pleasant
side in the past. Last night, his tone had been incredibly tender.
Did she do something to upset him? Hiding her uncertainty the best
she could, she nodded and washed her hands. Standing up, she waited
for him to tell her where he wanted them to talk.

He glanced around the lodge at his
sister, mother and two aunts who’d just woken up, their eyebrows
raised in interest. Returning his gaze to Onawa, he said, “We’ll go
outside.”

Nodding, she went to grab her buffalo
robe and wrapped herself in it before slipping on her moccasins.
Ignoring the way the others stared at them, she followed him out of
the lodge. She shivered in the bitter cold and pulled the robe more
tightly around her.

“
We can go this way,” he
said, indicating to a path that had been cleared of snow and
afforded them some privacy.

Not knowing what to say, she nodded
again and walked with him. She wished she felt comfortable enough
to talk to him. She didn’t know why she assumed that she would feel
at ease with him as soon as they were married. Perhaps if they’d
spent the whole night together, she would have, but she was too
aware that she still had a long way to go in understanding her
husband.

Citlali cleared his throat, so she
looked in his direction. “I spent all night with the chief. He
wished to speak to me on matters pertaining to the
tribe.”

“
Can I ask what kind of
matters?” She knew it wasn’t her place to get too intrusive into
his role as the second chief, but she wasn’t sure what her
boundaries were, especially since he was coming to her with this
information.

He let out a heavy sigh. “It has to do
with making sure our ways survive in future
generations.”

Noting the sorrow in his tone, she
nodded. “I worry about that, too.”

“
You do?”

“
Yes.”

“
It is good that we are of
one mind.”

Relaxing at the compliment, she
smiled. “I think so, too.”

“
The chief wants me to go
on a fast.”

Since he hesitated to say more, she
asked, “When does he want you to go?”

“
Today.”

“
Today?” But they’d only
gotten married yesterday, and he spent most of the night away from
her. Even if she wasn’t sure what to say around him, she wanted to
be with him.

“
Yes. He is determined I
leave today.” He paused. “I will return in a week.”

Her countenance fell. An entire week?
How was she supposed to be away from him that long?

“
I asked him if I could do
this at another time, but he said no. He wants me to seek a vision.
He thinks the spirits might reveal their will for our people. The
chief has proposed something that will likely upset some.” She
waited for him to explain what that something was and who it would
impact, but he didn’t. “I hope the spirits tell me what he wants
isn’t necessary. I’d like there to be another way to benefit our
people, if possible.”

“
Then what the chief wants
is serious,” she softly said, wondering what it could be and then
wondering if she even wanted to know.

“
Yes, it is.”

She took a deep breath and looked at
her husband. She wasn’t sure, but she sensed that he was afraid of
what the chief wanted and that worried her. It was better to be
away from him for a week if he could receive a vision where he got
a better answer. “You have to go.”

“
You aren’t
upset?”

“
No. You need to do what
you can for the benefit of our people.”

It seemed like he wanted to say
something, but then he closed his mouth and nodded. He continued
strolling down the path, so she went with him, content to remain in
silence. He’d be gone for a week. It wasn’t something she relished,
but she married him knowing his position required him to spend a
lot of time doing the chief’s bidding. And the chief wasn’t a man
to be denied.

Besides, she had the rest of her life
to be with Citlali. She could give him up for one week, especially
since he loved her. Content, she turned her attention back
him.

Chapter Four

Citlali sat outside his teepee. The
fire he built kept him warm despite the snow surrounding him. Out
here on the prairie, he was completely isolated from other people,
something he often sought…but not today. He didn’t mind the cold or
the fact that he hadn’t eaten in two days. The hunger pains had
long ago stopped bothering him. Fasting was a good way to obtain a
vision, but he didn’t think it would come right away.

Closing his eyes, he listened to the
sound of the breeze rustling the tree branches. An animal’s
footsteps crunched the snow from several feet away. Clouds blocked
the sun, and he could smell the impending snow that would soon
fall. The temperature would drop, but he’d stay warm in the buffalo
blankets he had in his teepee.

He sighed. He wished he’d be staying
warm with Onawa. He missed her, and he didn’t want to miss her as
much as he was. She was a part of him. She might have even been a
part of him before they got married, but she was much more so now
that they’d shared a bed together. Why getting married should
change things so much, he didn’t understand. It didn’t seem that
things should be that different since he’d only been with her one
night.

He opened his eyes and stared into the
fire. He wanted more than one night with her. He wanted to take her
from the tribe and bring her here with him, but he’d never get a
vision that way. A vision required fasting and solitude. Besides,
if he thought about it, putting some distance between them was good
for their marriage. He didn’t want to be weak. Next time he was
with her intimately, he’d be able to restrain himself so he didn’t
appear so needy. He hadn’t been prepared for lovemaking their first
time together, but he would be in the future.

She always smiled at him in a way that
made him feel as if he was the most important man in the world.
There was a certain amount of respect and pride in the way she
looked at him, and she seemed to care for him, which was even
better. While most people granted him the respect associated with
his standing, only his mother, aunts, and the chief genuinely liked
him. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin his relationship with
Onawa.

The day would come soon enough when he
could go home and be with her. He just needed to remember to watch
what he said around her. Then everything would be
alright.

***

“
I still can’t believe the
chief made Citlali leave to seek a vision,” Woape said as she
combed her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter’s hair. “You’d think
the chief would give a newly married man more time to get
acquainted with his bride.”

Onawa looked up from Woape’s youngest
daughter who was sleeping in her arms. The baby was content, and
she couldn’t help but think she might be holding her own child
before the year was up. All the women in her lodge were fruitful.
It was one of the things Citlali’s clan and the chief found
desirable when they looked to pair him up with a wife. She wanted
to please him and the chief with a baby. Then they would know they
didn’t make a mistake in choosing her.

“
The chief has a serious
matter to consider,” Onawa told her sister. “Citlali is concerned
for the tribe. I wish to support him.”

Woape sighed as she braided Penelope’s
hair. “I hope he’ll make you happy.”

“
He already does.” She bit
her lower lip, considered her words, and then decided she might as
well tell her sister the good news. Leaning forward, she added, “He
said he loves me.”

Dropping the beaded ribbon she was
ready to put in her daughter’s hair, Woape stared at Onawa. “He
actually said the words?”

“
He did. Isn’t that
wonderful?”

“
I didn’t think he could
feel love.”

“
Of course, he can feel
love,” Onawa replied with a giggle. “He’s human, isn’t
he?”

“
I don’t know. Sometimes he
doesn’t seem like it.”

“
Well, of course, he’s
human. He experiences emotions like we do.”

Woape picked the ribbon back up and
wove it through her daughter’s braid. “If you say so.”

She refused to let her sister’s
disbelief ruin her good mood. In four days, Citlali would return to
her—hopefully with good news from his vision—and he could hold her
in his arms and tell her he loved her again. She couldn’t wait for
him to be back. Being married to him was so much better than she
thought it would be.

Someone entered the lodge and she
looked up to find Julia and Erin entering the place, each carrying
one of Julia’s two-month-old boys. After they exchanged greetings,
Erin sat by Woape and Julia sat by Onawa.

She motioned to the baby in Julia’s
arms. “Tate?” she asked, wondering which of the twins this one
was.

Julia shook her head.
“Dakota.”

Onawa glanced at Tate who rested in
Erin’s arms. How she loved babies. She really couldn’t wait to
present Citlali with his son or daughter.

“
Cold outside,” Erin said,
her Mandan stilted.

“
Yes, it is,” Woape
replied. “I’m glad to be inside on days like this.”

“
How is Chogan?” Onawa
asked Julia.

Julia smiled at the mention of her
husband’s name. “Good.” After a moment, she asked, “How is
Citlali?”

“
Good. He says he loves
me,” she replied, careful to use words Julia knew.

Julia smiled. “Yes. Good!”

Glad that Julia was happier for her
than Woape seemed to be, Onawa’s grin widened and her initial
enthusiasm returned. “We speak English, if you want?” She knew it
was easier for Julia to speak in her native tongue, and since Woape
taught her English words, she felt she was getting sufficient at
speaking them.

“
I need Mandan,” Julia
replied in Onawa’s language. “Good to learn.”

Onawa nodded. She glanced up as her
father entered the lodge. His gaze went to Erin before he went over
to Onawa and knelt between her and Julia.

“
I haven’t seen you since
the wedding,” he told Onawa. “Are you happy?”

“
Yes. Citlali is a good
husband.”

“
I’m glad.” He glanced at
Gary who led a stallion into the stall by the entrance. “Both of my
daughters have married well.”

“
Gary is a good son-in-law
for you,” Onawa replied.Woape stood up to take Penelope over to
Gary who took their daughter in his arms before giving Woape a
kiss. As they softly talked to one another, Onawa realized she was
no longer envious of their love.

Her father patted her hand and smiled.
“And Citlali is a good son-in-law. I have been blessed.” He looked
back at Erin and then Julia before he spoke in English. “I cannot
tell who is Tate or Dakota.”