Bound by Trust (8 page)

Even
though she’d stopped talking, Rafe remained quiet, unsure if she was finished.
After a few minutes she went on.

“My
father refused to come and his family didn’t show up either. Mama, CeCe, and
Meredith were the only ones. The four of us buried her alone.” Tucking her hair
behind her ear, she looked up at him. “Gage had a vasectomy so it would never
happen again, without even asking me what I thought. Even though the doctor
said it was okay to try again, and knowing I wanted to, he did it anyway.
That’s why I don’t have any children.”

Rafe
wasn’t sure what to say. Overwhelmed with the fact that she trusted him enough
to talk to him like this, he formulated the best answer he could.

“I’m
sorry, Madi. I can’t imagine you having gone through that alone.” He paused and
his throat caught at the thought of her suffering with no one there to be with
her. “It must be very painful for you. But you’re still young, and there is still
time to have all the children you want, and with someone who wants them as much
as you do.”

She
wiped her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked up at him again. “Thank you, it
isn’t often I tell anyone about her. Most people don’t know I ever had a baby.”

“I’m
glad you trusted me enough to talk to me.”

“So,
you’ve noticed my tendency not to trust.” She squirmed in his lap as he wrapped
his arms bit tighter around her.

“Yes,
Betty Boop,” he said, trying to lighten the moment. “I’ve noticed, but it seems
to me we might be on to a remedy for that.” Tucking his forefinger under her
jaw, he tilted her head up.

“A
lot of things need remedying.” She bit her lower lip while gazing at his,
remembering how they felt against hers, against her throat, against her breasts.

“How
much of the remedy are you ready for?” He leaned in toward her.

“I’m
not sure.” Her heart palpitated and her stomach fluttered as he tenderly kissed
her, sending a shiver down her spine.

He
pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I need you to be sure, Madi. I don’t
want you to have any regrets or think I was just taking advantage of a
convenient moment.”

She
found she could barely speak. “I’m afraid.”

“Of
what?” He nibbled her earlobe.

“Of
how you make me feel.” She shivered again.

“I’m
not looking for another one-night stand, Madi. I need more than that, and I
think you do to.”

She
nodded her head absently. He traced her lips with his tongue parting them,
teasing, and she thought she would melt. Needing more of his intoxicating
taste, she deepened the kiss and ran her hands around his neck, giving in and
letting herself feel completely. Her whole body prickled with electric tingles
and the same feeling that had run over her at the club began to build between
her legs. When he pulled back, she was breathless and her pulse raced when he
kissed the hollow of her throat.

“Rafe,
I, what I did that night, I’m not…” Flustered, she looked him straight in the
eyes. “I don’t want you to think I just go around doing it in the shadows with
strange men without discretion.”

“Madi,
I know you’re not like that.”

That
was all she needed to hear. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and raised
her lips giving herself over to him. At that moment, she didn’t care what
tomorrow would bring. She only knew she wanted him, in fact needed him, and
nothing else mattered.

When
he finally left her lips, they were both panting. Running his tongue down her
throat, he tasted her, nothing artificial, just her the way he remembered,
sweet and salty. Her low moans sent heat rippling through him and he knew she
must be able to feel what she was doing to him. His erection tightened, pushing
against her rear. Holding her head with one hand and descending on her lips
again, he found his way under her tight black shirt with the other, skirting
her stomach and grasping her breast. He ran his fingers under the lace covering
her nipple and gently squeezed, causing her to take a sharp breath.
Strategically, he placed each kiss down her chest, branding her flesh, ending
at her breastbone with his tongue.

“Rafe,
take me home with you.”

“Are
you sure, Madi?” His voice was hoarse.

“Yes,
I’m sure. Take me to your bed.”

He
got up from the couch with her in his arms and continued to kiss her all the
way across the road and up the steps of his porch, the fire between them
building with every stride. Somehow he managed to open the door and carry her
in, down the darkened hall, and into his bedroom where one lamp burned in a
corner, casting a shadowy light across the bed. He set her on her feet and ran
his tongue down her throat, licking and sucking, stopping at the base, razing
her collarbone with his teeth. Hearing her hiss set his blood to running like
fire through his veins.

“Please,
don’t tease. I’ve wanted you since I ran away from you that night,” she begged.

He
pulled her sweater down her arms, confining them behind her back, then took her
head in his hands and took her mouth so fully and deeply, he thought for a
moment they had both quit breathing. Pulling back, he looked at her and knew he
had to take his time with her, unlike the first time when he’d had her up
against a wall in a dark corner. Slowly, he slid the sweater the rest of the
way down her arms and let it fall to the floor. He then tugged her shirt up and
over her head, revealing the black lace bra she wore beneath it. Patiently, he
ran his tongue down her throat and sucked at the juncture of her neck and collarbone,
eliciting a whimper from her that sent electricity running through him. Continuing
his attention to her throat, he ran his hands around her and unfastened her
bra. He pulled the straps down and let it fall to join the growing pile of
clothes around them.

Her
alabaster breasts were beautiful and her rosy nipples beckoned him. Taking one
in his mouth, he laved it into a tight, puckered peak as her hands ran up the
back of his t-shirt. He raised his arms up to help her pull the shirt over his
head, and allowed her to explore his rippled stomach and sides with her
fingertips. Behind the buttons on his jeans, his cock strained against them as
she nipped at his chest with her teeth. She ripped his fly open, touching him
and releasing him from the confines of the denim. She ran her hand inside,
stroking him.

She
loved the feel of his velvety skin against her palm. The empty ache she’d tried
to ignore for days throbbed within her and she became slick in anticipation of
having him inside her. So taken in by the feel of him under her fingers, she
didn’t realize he’d unzipped her jeans and run one hand down the front of them
between her skin and panties. His fingers found their way between her wet folds
and he fluttered them along the sides of her swollen, pulsing clit. Warmth
spread from where his fingers worked down her legs which were like rubber
bands. She wiggled impatiently, needing more, all of him, wanting him to fill
her the way he had before. She tried to finish removing her clothes so they
could get on the bed but he stopped her.

“No,
not yet,” he rasped, grabbing her ass with his free hand to give her the
support she needed. “Let me finish this.”

Not
knowing what to think, she looked up at him and found him staring at her
intently. Her needs had never been a priority. As if sensing her thoughts, he
smiled at her and spoke again, reassuringly.

“You’re
worthy of being first, Madi,” he murmured. “Get used to it.”

Without
protest, she ran her arms around him and clung to him, letting him take her
higher and higher, coaxing her to the edge of ecstasy. Her breathing was
reduced to short gasps as she felt a blaze tearing through her and she began to
clench, finally erupting into spasms. Unable to stand any longer, she gave
herself over completely to him for support, trusting him not to let her fall.
The cries she’d had to suppress the first time they’d been together rang out
and bounced off the walls of his room. Too weak to object, she let him ease her
back on the bed. He tugged her jeans down, followed by her panties. Desperate
for him, clenching with the need to be filled, she watched him finish
undressing himself.

He
looked at her lying across his bed, flushed and breathless. Refraining from
covering her body with his, he lay beside her and slowly ran his hand across
her breasts, down her stomach, and between her legs teasing her plump lips
apart and again running his fingers over her. Grabbing his forearm, she gasped
at his touch and tried to push him away.

“Please,
Madi, you have to let me do this for you.” He continued to rub her and stroked
the edge of her ear with his tongue. “Trust me.”

“But
I want you inside me.” A tight heat began to build under her belly button
again. “Please, Rafe.”

“I
know, honey, but I want you so much, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

She
let go of him and let him slide his fingers in her and back out to circle her
engorged clit. With her hands full of his blanket, she arched her back and
cried out as waves of electric pleasure washed over her. Instead of abating her
desires, however, her need for him to join her in completion only grew as he
fumbled in the nightstand drawer locating a box of condoms.

Before
she’d fully come back from where he’d taken her, he settled between her legs
and she pushed up to meet him as he plunged inside her. He groaned in ecstasy.
Like a warm soft leather glove, she clung to him, coaxing him to the edge of an
ethereal abyss. Together they moved in the ages-old coalescent dance, losing
themselves to one another. He held himself off her and looked into her eyes as
their bodies met over and over. Her now forest green eyes were hooded and
glazed with heat. Faster he moved and she increased her pace to match her
breathing as it became labored again. With her bottom lip clamped between her
teeth, and her eyes shut, a primal groan erupted from deep within her as she
fell over the edge again, her nails grating his back as she fought to remain
grounded.

Unable
to hold back any longer, Rafe drove himself into her one final time as far as
he could go. He shuddered and moaned, feeling her pulsing around him, squeezing
him and heightening his pleasure, draining him. Completely spent, he lowered himself
beside her. Watching her on her back with her chest heaving as she tried to
take in enough oxygen, his eyes wandered lower and it was then that he finally
saw the jagged white scar running across her lower belly. Unable to help
himself, he ran his fingers over it.

“It
looks pretty awful, doesn’t it?” She peered out from beneath her sleepy lids.

“No,
it’s as much a battle scar as any I’ve seen on any Marine and nothing to be
ashamed of.”

She
put her hand over his and squeezed. “I want to go see her over Memorial Day.”
She paused and opened her eyes all the way. “Will you go with me, Rafe?”

“Yes,
I will.”

He
pulled her to him, the thin veil of moisture that coated her silky skin
mingling with his own. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, and then fell
into a regular rhythm as she drifted off. Marveling at her peacefulness, there
was only one thing he knew in that moment. He wanted to wake up with her in his
arms well past tomorrow morning.

Chapter 7

A
warm, slobbery tongue ran over Madi’s cheek, bringing her back from the
darkness that had enveloped her, holding her hostage throughout the night.
Swiping her face with the back of her hand, she turned over only to have her
shoulder assaulted by the same gooey licking. She turned again to be greeted by
Gretchen’s cold black nose. When she peered out of the slits of her eyes, she
saw that she had spent the night in Rafe’s bed. That wasn’t her intent. She’d
planned on leaving in the night and going home, but she didn’t remember falling
asleep or Rafe getting up.

“Hello,
Gretchen.” She pushed up on one elbow and scratched the dog’s head. Gretchen
replied with one sharp bark. “So, where’s your daddy?”

Her
clothes were neatly folded and placed on a chair beside a tall mahogany dresser
along one wall. She pushed the navy blue cotton sheets back, stretched, and got
up. Mostly dressed, with her bra tucked in her back pocket, she set off in
search of the front door. The inviting aroma of coffee drifted down the hall
distracting her, beckoning her to the kitchen before she managed to locate it.
A fresh pot was ready with a mug sitting nearby, a note propped against the
crimson ceramic.

Good morning,

Take
your time, I’m taking care of the horses. There’s creamer in the refrigerator.
See you soon.

Rafe

Feeling
spoiled, she filled the red mug with coffee, found the creamer, and topped off
the nutty goodness, giving it a quick stir. She walked through another doorway
that led to the living room and discovered his space was as masculine as she’d
imagined it would be. The oversized furniture was draped in chocolate leather,
the end and coffee tables were solid oak, and the lamps boasted sturdy wooden
bases topped with ecru linen shades. A couple of paintings hung on the plain
off-white walls, both of which were of hunters in the snow. A bookshelf stood
on one wall filled with hardbound editions of best sellers by Clive Cussler,
Dean Koontz, and Louis L’Amour. On the other wall was an entertainment center
holding a rather large flat-screen television, a rather substantial sound system
and a six disc DVD player. It was evident that he was from the rugged country
of Montana from the collection of antlers and bones in a glass case. It was
also apparent that no female had swayed his living conditions.

On
her way past the couch, she fingered his uniform blouse that was draped over
the back of it, then picked it up and smelled it. His pheromones clung to it.
Her center coiled at the masculine odor that filled her senses, reminding her
of last night and bringing a smile to her face.

Stepping
outside, she found the skies were bright blue, dotted with a few cottony
clouds. The slight breeze was laced with the sweet smell of lilac and irises
drifting from the flowerbeds lining the front of the house. Instantly heated by
the sun’s rays, she could almost feel summer being born. This was the best part
of the season, the almost summer, the deliciously warm time before the Missouri
humidity set in and made everything and everyone miserable.

She
left the porch, humming a tune, with Gretchen trotting happily along beside
her, and made her way around the house to the barn where Rafe was filling a
water tub in one of the stalls. He softly conversed with Daisy, the sorrel mare
she’d ridden a few days ago, as he worked. He wore a pair of faded jeans with a
hole above one knee, a dark green t-shirt with a short-sleeved button-down
shirt over it, and his beat-up boots. Dark stubble covered his jaw and a worn
blue ball cap graced his head.

Quietly,
she leaned against the gate of another stall and watched him. His arm muscles
corded, nearly bursting with each movement. The memory of those arms holding
him hovering over her last night swept over her as heat rose over her
midsection and singed her breasts. She didn’t think she would ever get her fill
of him. They hadn’t even begun to scratch the surface of this thing that had
caught like a forest fire between them and last night had only served to
increase her need to be with him. Seeing him in his element this morning made
her want to do things she’d never really conceived she was capable of before.

She
and Gage had enjoyed a decent enough sex life, or so she’d believed until now.
As with everything else, as she was beginning to realize, he was the one in
control of that as well, deciding when and where and how. And the past few
years there hadn’t been much of any of it even when he wasn’t deployed. Rafe
had let her decide she was ready, and he had neither orchestrated the whole
thing, nor asked her for anything. In fact, he’d put her first, something Gage
had never done. Until last night, she didn’t know there were men like that. If
this was the way it could be, she knew now why Meredith and her mother were so
keen to experiment. But she didn’t see herself drifting around from man to man,
she just wanted Rafe.

Barefoot,
eyes gleaming, she stayed propped against the gate, watching him until he
turned and discovered her presence.

“Good
morning,” he managed to say as he walked toward her, pushing his cap back on
his head. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Better
than I have in months,” she answered, straightening up, setting the mug down,
and moving toward him. “It would seem that cure of yours works wonders.”

When
they met, he ran his arms around her waist as she put her arms around his neck
and he picked her up. With her legs around his waist, he backed her into a
stall post and took her mouth, forcing her lips open and driving his tongue
inside, finding hers.

His
hard-on rode up between her legs and a thick wetness began to build, heating
her from the inside out. With her pinned to the wood, he moved his hands to the
back of her thighs and held her prisoner, running his tongue down her throat
and biting her shoulder.

“Madi,
how did you manage to get under my skin? I’ve never wanted anyone this much.”

Reaching
down, she tugged her shirt up and jerked it over her head. She tossed it away,
giving him access to her breasts, letting him feed on her, driving her into a
frenzy. He sucked one nipple until it was hard beneath his lips, then blew his
warm breath over it, causing it to coil further, then moved to the other breast
giving it the same treatment. Somehow she managed to reach between them and
unbutton his jeans, releasing his engorged cock so that she could feel its
rippled surface gliding through her fingers. She was so heavy with wetness, it
was oozing through the thin fabric of her panties and her clit became a
puckered nub, demanding his touch.

“Touch
me, Rafe, please. Make me feel like you did last night.”

He
backed away from the post, still carrying her, and moved away from the stalls
to the opposite wall where several hay bales were lined up. Gently, he laid her
across them, then sank to his knees between her legs. Agonizingly calculated,
he unzipped her jeans and pulled them off, followed by her black lace panties,
leaving her completely exposed and vulnerable. She lay before him like a
sacrificial offering. Raising her legs, he parted her folds with his thumbs,
and took her clit under his lips, sucking at first then licking, feting her
essence, her musky femininity wafting between them.

So
intent on what he was doing to her with his lips and tongue, she barely noticed
he’d slipped two of his fingers inside her until he began to move them in and
out of her, coaxing her to twitch under his mouth. She drew in a sharp breath
and moaned, grasping his head with both her hands and pushing herself into him
wanting more. Taking her hands away from him, she put her arms at her sides and
leaned up to watch him continue to assault her throbbing pink flesh.

His
eyes wandered up and caught hers, so intimate was it that she wanted him to
quit what he was doing and drive himself into her. But he continued licking her
with his hardened tongue, holding eye contact with her until she clenched
around his fingers. A euphoric inferno raced through her, shot out her middle,
and ran down her legs. She began to contract slowly at first, then so hard and
fast she nearly sat straight up, with Rafe still between her legs. He took his
mouth off her then and kissed the insides of her thighs, his stubble razing her
flesh, awakening every hypersensitive nerve, causing her to tremble. Still
running his fingers in and out of her, he allowed her to ride the wave of
pleasure until she collapsed back on the hay, panting and sweating, trying to
catch her breath.

With
his eyes locked on hers, he tossed his cap off, jerked both shirts off in one
fluid motion while toeing off his boots, then managed to shimmy out of the rest
of his clothes like they were interconnected. He pulled a condom from his
pocket and sheathed himself. Kneeling on the hay in front of her, he placed her
legs on his shoulders before slipping inside her. He thrust into her, and with
her face flushed with desire, she repeated his name like a prayer. In answer to
it, he reached between them, found her clit with his thumb, and ran tight
circles around it. She ran her hands behind her thighs and pulled opening
herself up wider for him, thrusting up to meet his repeated strokes begging for
release.

His
constant attention to her clit soon had her pulsing again and a kaleidoscope of
colors ran across the backs of her eyelids. Another shock wave moved out in
concentric waves from under her belly button and shot out of her to meet with
the friction between her body and his. Just as she went over the edge, she
cried out. She brushed his hand away from her, pulled him down on her, and
thrust up, demanding he drive deeper.

Rafe
followed her with a primal growl, driving into her, his energy meshing with
hers as he trembled inside her. He fell across her, burying his head in the
crook of her neck, gasping for air. For several minutes they lay there, a
tangled mass of limbs. Sweat rolled off them, ran down their bodies and
disappeared into the hay, sending up an incense of hormones and musk. The only
sound was their labored breathing and the birds chirping outside.

When
he could take a deep breath, he pushed up off of her and pulled his pants on
leaving them undone, then draped her with his shirt before picking her up.

“Where
are we going now?” she asked weakly, with her head on his shoulder.

“I
think we need a shower.” He stopped, leaned in and kissed her, then kept
walking, a smile on his face. “Then I think maybe we should go back to bed.”

*
* * *

Seemingly
inseparable, they spent every minute of the day and night together after that,
except when Rafe had to go to work. He hated getting out of her bed in the
mornings, leaving the comfort of her warm body curled up next to him. They were
as good as living together he spent so much time at her house, and Gretchen had
moved in refusing to leave Madi’s side. It seemed the dog loved her more than
she did her master.

No
matter how much time they spent together though, it was never enough for him.
The only thing that interrupted his joy in finding her was the fact that the
decision on whether to re-enlist or retire was still looming on the horizon. He
didn’t know what he was going to do yet, but he did know that his decision
would affect them both. Knowing someone for so short a time shouldn’t have warranted
considering what they wanted, but for him it did. He just didn’t know how much
he was willing to give up in order to have her in his life. The Marine Corps
was everything to him. Without it, he wasn’t sure what he’d do, but he didn’t
know what he’d do without Madi either, and he wasn’t sure she was ready to
start following him around for another ten years. All he did know for sure was
that he was going to have to bring it up soon and make a decision, and that was
going to be one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

*
* * *

“That
was very good, Nev,” Madi complimented.

Her
niece’s lessons were going well. The child had inherited the musical gene and
picked up on everything very quickly, and always exceeded what Madi expected
from her. She came every Tuesday and Thursday after school, even if Madi had to
go to school to pick her up herself. After discovering how inclined she was,
Meredith and Madi had decided they would stop at nothing to get the girl
whatever she needed and would get her into the best school possible for her
musical training when the time came. She would have an easier life than they
had if it killed them. No lousy boyfriends or husbands, and she would achieve
her dreams without guilt or bending to someone else’s.

And
at the rate things were going, it was beginning to seem feasible that it would
kill them. Meredith was talking about taking a second job to afford the harp,
and Madi had been tempted to jump off a bridge that morning when yet another
one of Gage’s credit companies came knocking on the door with another mountain
of expenses he had incurred without her knowledge. How she would pay those off
was a mystery and she wondered how many more times it would happen before it
finally stopped. The only bright spot in either of their lives were the men who
had stepped in, unexpectedly filling the voids neither of them had fully
grasped to begin with.