Bracing the Blue Line (2 page)

Just then, a guy walks up and says, “Here you are.” Maddie beams a smile at him, one I used to get all the time, but before she can even say hello, he kisses her in greeting. And not just a simple peck on the lips. I'm talking about a full blown, tongue-filled kiss. That definitely isn't something I've ever seen Maddie do in public.

A streak of jealously runs through me. It shouldn't, but it does anyway. She pulls away from him and with a nervous laugh glances at me. I want to tell her that I don't care if she kisses some guy, that I'm happy she's moved on and has seemingly forgiven me, but I don't say a word. She slips my phone into my pocket once more as she stands. “It was great seeing you, Winston. I should get back to my friends.”

She walks away with her boyfriend in tow.

My gaze follows her all the way across the bar where they take a seat with her friends. What just happened? I watch Maddie for a moment as she laughs and leans into the guy.

“She a friend of yours?” Neil asks, bringing my attention back to my own table.

“Sort of.” He raises an eyebrow, so I add the half truth, “We grew up together. She's my best friend's little sister.”

“She's not little anymore,” he laughs.

Ain't that the truth. Dave and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. It helped that we've lived next door to each other since I was five. Maddie was always around us because their mother used to make us let her tag along. She was like a silent follower, though. Honestly, she was kind of boring. As we grew older, she broke out of her shell almost. Maddie was different around me than with her family. I liked her, thought I loved her. She was fun and a serious flirter, but eventually, Maddie got her own friends and stopped hanging out with us. Dave never saw that side of her. The fun, normal girl.

All Dave has ever said about his sister is that she's basically an angel. She never got into trouble, and she was the sweetest, purest girl who was probably a bit on the naïve side. According to him, the girl could do no wrong and never did either. Dave was the troublemaker while Maddie was the golden child. I glance over my shoulder one more time.

That girl is more like the one I knew, but so much more grown. Her clothes are flaunting her body, she kissed that guy like they were alone in the bedroom, and she cussed earlier! Dave probably wouldn't recognize his own sister or believe it was her.

If it wasn't for my stupidity, Maddie could still be mine. She looks happy, which makes me glad because it means I didn't ruin her trust in other guys. My mind flashes back to the night that changed everything for us.

I don't know how we started really. She was hanging out with us less, starting to break away from us to be with her own friends. There were times when I found myself alone with her, either waiting on Dave or taking her home from school for him. She would laugh so much and turn into this girl whom no one in her family saw. She called me once after a date had gone badly, asking me to pick her up, but not to tell Dave. Maybe that was when things started happening between us.

She didn't want to go home yet because she was still upset, so she asked me to take her to a piece of land her parents' owned. There was an old barn there and that night, she confessed to sneaking away to that barn sometimes when she wanted to get away from everyone. I felt bad for her, like I shouldn't leave her, so I asked if she wanted company.

The barn became our secret place. Maddie had transformed the inside to make it more comfortable when she did go there. You could almost forget what type of building you were in. I knew, as Dave's best friend, his sister was off limits. That was completely fine until Maddie started turning into someone who was more than a friend to me.

We were nearly inseparable, as much as we possibly could be while keeping our relationship a secret. I knew all too well how Dave saw his baby sister, and I didn't want to lose my longest friendship. So we didn't tell anyone. I thought I loved her. God, I had to have. She was everything to me. I wanted to call her with good news or to recount a good or bad day before anyone else. I kissed her first. I touched her first. I made all the big moves first. I wanted to give her everything.

Except the one thing she ended up wanting the most.

Maddie wanted to go out on dates with me in public instead of sneaking an hour away. She wanted to be able to hold my hand and kiss me without caring who saw. I wanted that too, but not enough to tell her brother. Dave and I are close. We know nearly everything about each other and we always have the other's back. I couldn't risk losing him. Losing his friendship would make my relationship with Maddie even harder. I just knew that I would lose them both and in turn, lose the family I had come so close to after all these years.

Dave was dating some chick and was out with her one night. My parents were out of the house, attending some fundraiser. Maddie snuck over and one thing led to another, and we slept together. I was her first. I was happy that she trusted me, loved me, and believed in us enough to give me that part of her.

It only made things worse in the end.

The next night, Dave and I were at a party. It was a big one, because summer was only three weeks away and this was our last high school party before we left for college. Maddie and I had been arguing about her wanting to tell people we were together. She, for the first time, showed up at the same party as us. Things would have been fine if she hadn't walked over to us, standing next to me.

“What are you doing here, Fatty Maddie?” Dave had asked her, using his own personal nickname for her. She wasn't overweight, but she was a little chunky and he liked to tease her about it. His stupid nickname caused some of the guys to laugh. It wasn't funny and hasn't ever been funny, especially not when I found out how much it bothered Maddie.

“Same thing you are.” She took the cup of beer from my hand and took a swallow before handing it back to me. When we were alone, she was always doing that. Taking a sip of my drinks, eating from my plate, taking my phone from my pocket if hers was dead.

“This is for seniors. You don't need to be here. And it's a beach party. People wear bathing suits to these things,” he told her as a girl walked by in a skimpy bikini. He was right. Everyone was in a bathing suit except Maddie. She wore shorts and a tank top instead. There wasn't even a bathing suit beneath her clothes. She was probably too self-conscious because of Dave's fucking comments. “Maybe if you lose some weight, you can go to your own senior party. Go home, Fatty Maddie.”

My free hand balled into a fist by my side. Since Dave picked on his sister, one of the other guys made fun of her too.

“Yeah, no one wants a fat girl here.”

Dave didn't say anything. Not even an 'I'm the only one who can pick on my sister'. Maddie glanced up at me with glassy eyes. She waited for me to defend her, to stand up to them, to put her and her feelings first.

I hated myself before I shrugged like I didn't even care and added, “They're right. You should go.”

That's when things ended between us. Until tonight, Maddie hasn't spoken to me since. I tried to apologize to her later, tried to call her, text her, talk to her through every method except the one that mattered the most. I wouldn't go to her house and make her talk to me. I couldn't risk letting Dave know about something that no longer existed. Now, Maddie's going to the same college as me and she's skinny. I can't help but wonder if there's a reason why she lost weight.

“I'm heading out. I have an early start tomorrow,” Grant says, bringing my attention back to the table.

“Yeah, I think I'm going to go too,” I add, wondering if Dave knows about Maddie's boyfriend. She's on my mind the entire way back to where I live off-campus with Grant, Neil, and Bo, another teammate of ours and a senior as well. After I've changed, I power up my laptop and start a FaceTime call with Dave.

His face pops up almost immediately. “How'd the game go?” he asks.

“Good. They were a tough team, and I'll probably be sore tomorrow, but good.” After a pause, I blurt out, “I saw Maddie.”

“Really? Where? I forgot to tell you that that's where she decided to go.”

“Yeah, I was surprised when she came up to me...in a bar.”

Dave's eyes widen. “Seriously?” I nod. “She probably saw you go in and wanted to come say hi. Hey, you need to send your schedule to me again, so I can pick a weekend to come up. I accidentally deleted the first one, and I don't feel like searching for the schedule online.”

I laugh. “Lazy much?”

“Lil bit.” Dave's eyes flick to something behind his computer as I hear a door open and close. He grins, looks down at me, and says, “Gotta go.” I would bet five bucks that his girlfriend just walked in. The call ends, and I close my laptop.

A glance at the clock shows that it's almost one. The game wore me out, so I start to change into pajama pants and get ready for bed. As I pull back the covers, there's a knock on my bedroom door.

“Winston! I have a present for you,” Neil yells from the other side. What the hell is he up to? With a sigh, I walk over, open the door, and look down to find Maddie standing next to Neil. What is she doing here? Neil gives me a grin before walking away.

“Hey, Winston.” Her eyes survey my bare torso before coming back to my face. “This is sort of a long story. Can I come in?” She gives me a hopeful smile as she rocks on her heels.

“Of course,” I answer, moving aside for her. It's not like I can say no to Dave's sister, especially if she needs something. Hell, it's not like I can say no to
Maddie
. Period.

“You still wear something on your head all the time?” she asks, glancing around my room before taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

I reach up and feel the fabric of a beanie on my head. I'd forgotten I was even wearing it. “Why? Does it bother you?” Sitting down next to her and feeling slightly awkward having her in my bedroom, I take off my beanie and drop it in her lap.

Maddie reaches over and ruffles my hair, laughing softly. “No, it doesn't. It was only an observation. I'd almost forgotten that you have perfect, dark brown hair underneath it.” Her hand falls back into her lap. “Ready for my long story?”

I scoot back on my bed to lean my back against the headboard and spread my legs out behind her. Once I clasp my hands behind my head, I say, “Okay, I'm ready.”

She takes a deep breath, but ends up mumbling, “Boys are stupid.”

Laughing, I tell her, “That's the best you got? Stupid? Wouldn't idiotic jerks sound better? Or what about insensitive jackasses? Or should we go with something like, boys are mindless morons who don't know how to keep a girl happy? I thought you were more imaginative than that, Maddie.”

That makes her smile. “Are there any guys who actually know how to keep a girl happy?” She cuts her eyes over at me, probably remembering that I failed her too.

“Only a few.” I pause, wondering if I should ask, but then decide I should. “Are you okay? I mean, you're not going to burst into tears, are you?”

Maddie laughs, shaking her head. “No, I'm not. He didn't do anything worthy of tears. I ended up here because my boyfriend broke up with me over something stupid, and my roommate decided to lock me out for a couple hours. I went back to the bar, saw your teammates, and thought we could go ahead and catch up. Neil showed me the way, so here I am.” She slips off her shoes, turns to face me, and sits with her legs crossed in front of her.

“I was about to go to bed,” I point out.

She seems to think about that before she says, “Well, isn't there some sort of rule that you should be extra nice to me because of Dave?” There's no bitterness with his name, no mention of what we once were. Like we didn't ever happen.

I force a chuckle. “Maybe when we were younger, but not anymore.”

“Oh, c'mon, Winston. I thought we were friends too. Humor me. Please,” she pleads. Maddie decides to not wait for a response. “How's hockey? Looks like you're doing well, considering you're on the team and all. I didn't know you wanted to play after high school. Do you want to try for the NHL?”

“Don't we all? That's the ultimate dream, to play professionally. I'd love to be good enough for the Olympics one day too. Hockey is good, though. The game tonight is one reason why I was about to go to bed.”

Maddie rolls her eyes at my feeble attempt to get her to leave. “I don't know how you do it. I've been ice skating before, and I'm more likely to fall flat on my ass, much less try to play a game.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, reaching over to steal my beanie back from her hands and put it back on my head. “Since when do you have such a vulgar mouth?” This is what I really want to know. “And since when do you go to bars and make out in public? I told Dave I saw you in a bar, and he thought you saw me and only went in to say hi.”

“He would,” she laughs. “A cuss word here and there doesn't mean I have a vulgar mouth either. Are you really that surprised?” Why does she pick and choose when to acknowledge what happened? It's driving me crazy and confusing me on how I should respond.

“I guess not. It's just that all Dave has ever said about you is that you're like an angel, and that was all I could think about. How he would be stunned to see you tonight. I mean, Dave is the bad apple, so to speak. He's the one who needed rules, and you were the responsible one. Don't know if I'd go as far as to say you were an angel, though.”

Maddie smiles. “I feel like I have everyone fooled without even meaning to. Not sure how they all came to that conclusion about me.”

“Then how come they never saw this side of you? You weren't as...proper, I guess, around me.”

“I don't know. Maybe because I know how they expect me to behave, so when I'm around them, that's how I behave.”

I nod, satisfied with her answer. “Why did you decide to come here for school?”

She shrugs. “It's a great school with great programs. I think my parents were hoping I'd go to the same university as Dave, but I didn't want to. They think I'm naïve, don't they? That's what it feels like sometimes when they talk to me.”

Dave thinks she is. I've heard him say it plenty of times before. “I don't know,” I lie.