Break Me Open (27 page)

"Family only."

"I'm family," I said.

Maybe cause Trig backed away as contrast. Maybe cause I looked fiercely in love. Maybe cause it was midnight and he couldn't be asked to give a damn, but he let me go in.

"Name?"

I hesitated, but gave it to them. No reason for the FBI to come after me right now. If they did and they asked what Ghost had done that night weeks ago, I would tell them.

He had saved my life. He had protected me. He always had and he always would. I could wrap myself in that truth and make sure they didn't go any deeper.

The doctors couldn't do much for Ghost. He was stable, just unresponsive. They set him up in their cheapest room, wired up his vitals and left us there.

Seeing him in that hospital gown made the truth come alive for me. This might be all that was left of him. A wave of grief washed over me, but I knew he would want me to be strong. I would figure this out for him. Tomorrow. When I could get back to the veterinary clinic. I would figure it out.

I took his hand and sat on a chair by his head. I watched his majestic form until I could no longer stay upright, then slumped onto him.

If he wouldn’t wake up, then at least I could join him in the darkness.

I was flying down a desert highway. The land outside was flat, but teeming with life, minute and large, plant and animal. Cliffs framed the road ahead. Above them, the sky sat cracked open between eggshells of clouds - a deep and shimmering blue. I had been driving for hours, days. I didn't know. Time didn't matter here.

This wasn't reality, but I didn’t think it was death.

At my side flew another rider, her chopper a lighter and brighter version of mine, chrome maybe - almost golden. I couldn't see her face. Every time I tried to look, the air around would seem to grow dark, but once in a while she would come close and we would clasp our hands on the gap between our bikes. It was Katie, I was sure.

I was glad knowing those canyons and that optimistic sky lay forever away. This was all I wanted. The freedom to go anywhere, as long as I could ride side by side with the one person I wanted to keep by me.

Sometimes, I would look up at the sky directly overhead. That darkness would fall on me, as if the light were never there. If I peered through it, I could see an angry sky above. Red and scorched, cracked by the ruptures I had caused.

There was a way up through there. A way back. But why did I want to go? This was perfection, and Katie sat at my side. What more could I want?

I flew for a million years. Then I started to wonder about Katie, right next to me. Did she want to be here? Maybe I was being selfish.

I turned to Katie, and asked her what she wanted me to do. Her face sat in that fog, but her voice rang clear in my ears.

"Stay with me."

Into the darkness or into the light, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that if I kept going this way, I wouldn't see her face again. And with sudden fierceness, that was all I wanted. Even if it meant giving up this wild unending freedom, I would lay still and drink in the sight of her forever.

I couldn’t stop the bike, but I looked up at the cracked red sky. It looked closer than ever. All I needed was a little boost…

I had the needle right up to the IV line but my hand froze.

In theory, the cocktail of suppressants here would bring Ghost out of his waking dream. His brain scans had shown a ton of activity in all regions. The doctors were absolutely unsure what exactly he was doing in a coma.

Of course they didn't know about the modifications. When they asked me for a medical background all I'd given was that he'd been in the army and that he liked to drink a good amount. After forcing me to repeat that he hadn't ODed they had declared him to have some traumatic relapse from an army injury - which they were unable to access records on of course. It was an easy way to say they had no idea what was going on.

Not to say I knew better. I had spent the entire day studying back at school. A dozen people had pestered me with questions, but seeing as none was law enforcement, I didn't dodge those so much as completely ignore them. Even Sandy had only gotten a "Sorry, just some me time."

All that work had landed on this - basically an upped dosage of the sort of stuff I knew had worked before.

Theoretically, it was all he needed. Theoretically, it was well below a lethal dose.

In reality, this was not only illegal, but I had no way of knowing how this would react with his system. He wasn't exactly human anymore.

The door opened and Nico came back in. Trig and Spoke and a bunch of others had come through and paid their dues to the sleeping Ghost, but Nico had stayed the whole day. Even when I had left.

"Done?" he asked, before my trembling arm caught his eye. "Something wrong?"

"I don't know," I said. I turned to him to show that I wasn't just stalling. "I don't know.” I pleaded into the club leader's dull brown eyes.

He shrugged. "I don't either, but it's worth a shot." He chuckled at his little pun.

I wanted to bite that look off his face. I must have looked it, cause he stopped, and sighed.

"Ghost hated risks," he said. "Did you know that about him?"

I didn't. In fact, that didn't sound like him at all.

"Yeah. He used to be fucking infuriating. Just sitting on my left, shooting down one idea after another. The most annoying part was you couldn't knock a couple of his teeth out either, cause he'd knock out your entire jaw. I honestly wondered sometimes why he stuck around with a bunch of people who he must have seen were idiots."

Nico and I had been talking quite a bit since I came back. He'd updated me about the FBI heat lifting off Gilsner, the arrest down by Los Cruces, the raid on the Sand Scorpions hangout. The hammer had come down fast as lightning. I'd told him about my own part in all this and his brows had actually lifted in surprise, which I'd heard was a rare treat.

But this, this was a new level of honesty. I listened and waited.

"Eventually I figured out that was the role he liked. To be part of something bigger than him and make sure they didn't do nothing stupid. He saved our asses yesterday, but he's been keeping ourselves from needing to be saved for a long ass time."

Old man Ghost. That character I could see, especially with him swaddled in all the hospital garb now.

"This man you met, that ain't the Ghost I know." Nico shook his head at the bed. "Defying orders. Dueling people on the roads. Pissing in the FBI's face and smashing into Cartel safe houses. Does that sound like a man who plays it safe?"

"No."

"It makes me wonder which one’s the real Ghost. The quiet tough one or the one that burned through with purpose? I know which one seems happier and I know that you’re the reason that part came out. He did all this stuff for you."

"That's not helping."

"Ay, I thought you were good with thinking." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm telling you, he took risks because you made him want to. Because he sees something in you he doesn't see anywhere else. And he will fucking nearly kill himself to make sure that you stay ok. He was willing to kill all of us even."

I glanced up and he shrugged. "Yeah I know that was his other plan. It's ok."

"So what?" I said. "Just stab him and see what happens."

"I'm saying if you think there's a chance to save him, then that's enough. He’d take any risk to be with you again."

A bead of liquid had formed at the tip of the syringe - a fraction of what would be needed to affect him.

Nico's hand lifted off me. I had to do whatever I did alone.

I didn't like being alone very much. Not anymore.

The needle slid into the IV like it belonged, and the liquid surged out, flew down the tube and ran into Ghost.

My eyes opened on Katie's waiting face. Was I alive or was this just another level?

Her eyes glossed up like dew condensing on a cool desert morning. "Oh god," she whispered.

That sounded pretty real.

"Aw shit," Nico's voice boomed out above, and I lifted my eyes and saw his tan face, glowing even brighter, a mythical grin crossing it. The air glowed, but I could smell the stench of sanitizer and blood. We were at a hospital.

"Everything good?" I asked.

"All's good with us, man, how bout you?"

"I'm-" I tipped my head over and froze as I caught full sight of Katie. She had on a loose cream blouse, which I could see cause the club jacket she had on hung open. Her legs were covered by a long black skirt which was tucked neat under her. Her lips hung open in worry, but they looked beautiful, entrancing, waiting for me."

"Are you ok?" they asked. "Easy."

"I'm fine. It's just... I missed you. The real you."

Her lips parted. Her teeth glittered at me, like all the wealth of the world. Nico stretched conspicuously above her.

"Are you ok?" I asked her. "What's going on, are we ok?"

"It's good, brother," Nico said. "Everything is good. The FBI are off our backs. They’re out of town. No one's looking for you or for us."

"Katie." My eyes dropped back to her.

"I did say us, didn't I?" Nico said. "She's safe, don't worry."

Katie's hand fell on mine, like a delicate flower. I squeezed it back and found surprising strength in me.

"Just rest," she said. "You need your rest."

"The cartel," I said, with a sudden realization. "The FBI is after them?"

"Don't worry," Nico said. My eyes found his and saw a different message. I wasn't the only thing being wakened today. Handing over the Cartel asshat had been necessary to link Gyro to them, but his bosses might not let it go at that. Especially if they needed Gilsner as a transport hub. This was bigger than the Sand Scorpions.

"She's right, man," Nico said, warding off my thoughts. "Get your rest. We have time."

He turned and made for the door. "I'll see you two later." He walked out and I heard the door lock shut.

The room was actually pretty nice. A hot breeze blew in from outside. Katie and I lay examining each other in it for some time.