Break My Heart (The Heart Series Book 2) (11 page)

“Hey, sweetheart, I gotta go. I”ll see you—” 

She dives for me but this time I’m ready. I turn my face and her lips land on my cheek. I take her hand and kiss the back of it like a true gentleman, never breaking eye contact.

She actually trembles.

“Good night.” I use my best Alpha-male tone, and she quivers. She’s young, and younger guys don’t appreciate the power of seduction. I sure didn’t.

“You’re going to call me right?”

I smile and she melts.
Too easy.

I drive straight to my place, jump in the shower, and scrub from top to bottom as hard as I can.

I wish I was in Lil’s bed, feeling her skin against mine, her comforting scent letting me know I’m all right. That I’m home. Embracing her, I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow. But, tonight, it’ll beer after beer, until I can’t think anymore and end up passed out on the couch.

قلب

Raindrops hit me everywhere, my boots pounding in puddle after muddy puddle and splashing my face in the process. I follow PFC Sanchez silently; she’s double-timing it to wherever she’s leading me, glancing over her shoulder once in a while to make sure I’m following.

She passes the mess hall, the female temp quarters, until all the outbuildings are behind us.

The puddles get lighter. I glance back behind as we trek into dead territory—the ground between our base and the fence. It’s a buffer we keep from the main structures. No one goes out to the dead zone unless they’re asking for trouble.

Sanchez stops in front of me and waits. I look at her in question and she points farther out into the dark.

“There, Sarge.” A flashlight signal marks the spot. Sanchez’s big eyes are full of worry and alarm.

I’m soaking wet, in the dark, so this had better be good. I move toward the flash of light until I finally make out the silhouette of Martinez.

“What’s up, man?”

The hood of his poncho is low, keeping the rain off his face. He pushes it back, revealing his frown.

“It’s LT,” he says over the pummeling of raindrops.

My stomach drops. He points into the pitch black nothingness, farther away from safety.

Shit. Lt. Harper? I’m wide-awake and wired. “What’s wrong, she’s gone?”

“You can say that again. She’s out there. Been standing out there for a while. Sanchez found her. She didn’t know what to do so she came and got me.” He shakes his head. “I tried talking to her, but nothing, man. It’s like the lights are on but no one’s home.”

“You talked to her? What did she say?” She’s all I’ve been thinking of since this shit went down today. I jumped the gun, ignoring her direct order, a first one for me. That local goes poof and LT gets pierced with a fucking bone. She shielded me, even after I disobeyed a direct order. She didn’t call me on it or report me. Otherwise, I’d be getting an earful by now.

“Not much. After the briefing, Sanchez saw her walk out past the female quarters. They were looking for her and caught some talk on the radio of someone out by the perimeter. They checked it out and sure enough, it was her. That’s when Sanchez came for me. I knew you’d want a crack at it before I follow the chain of command.” We exchange a knowing look; we need to watch out for each other.

I don’t say anything. I just stare into the dark, wondering what’s going through her mind.

“So, do you wanna see if she’ll talk to you?”

I blink at Martinez. “Yeah, you guys go.”

He gives me a short nod and signals for Sanchez to follow him. Martinez calls back as an afterthought, “About forty paces at your twelve o’clock. You can’t miss her.” He stops. “Hey, Colton? She’s still bleeding from the leg, man. She refused medical evac, she just got stitched up.”

Shit. I give him a tight nod. My heart is thumping, every muscle in my body wound tight. Ever since the incident, I’ve had this urge to cause some serious damage. When I saw her on the ground—fuck, I lost it. Had she not yelled at me and brought me back, who knows what kind of mess I’d be in right now.

I march forward until I reach her.

“Everything all right, LT?” The cracked, static-filled question comes from the dark. Seems Martinez forgot to mention Lt. Harper has a radio on her.

“Roger,” Lt. Harper replies flatly.

“Copy that,” the scratchy voice responds back, then radio silence.

The watchtowers surrounding the perimeter are on alert; after this morning’s incident, the lights-out order tonight came as no surprise. Everything is blacked out, save for the perimeter fence. Floodlights with a range of about fifty meters are all that illuminate the night.

Standing next to her, I give her the once-over from the corner of my eye: she’s not wearing her helmet or jacket. She’s soaked to the bone, yet her expression is unforgiving, her stare punishing the nothingness out there in the pitch-black night.

“Hey, LT,” I say cautiously, so as not to startle her.

Water drips from her small nose, mouth, and eyelashes. Her lower lip trembles; either she’s cold or she’s crying. I fight the urge to reach out to her, console her, warm her up, tell her that no one will harm a hair on her head as long as I’m around.

Today was a fluke; it won’t happen again. I won’t let anyone touch her. My chest rumbles at the thought alone. I want to cause pain, destroy, maim. But I rein myself back.

I stare up at the dark sky. “Looks like it’s not letting up, LT. How about we go indoors?” I glance down at her as she blinks away the droplets of water with her long lashes. The tip of her tongue peeks out, licking that lower lip. A huge breath escapes me. She’s breaking my heart. I just want to scoop her up in my arms and take her away from all this. “LT?”

“I’m fine,” her small, fragile voice cuts through the air.

“I know.” It’s all I can say, even though she’s far from it. “Last thing you wanna do is catch a cold or something.”

Her eyes haven’t moved, still trained far ahead out into the night. “They’re out there, you know? Watching us, waiting.”

My focus swings toward her line of vision, even though I can’t see shit. “Where?”

“Out there. I can feel them. By the mountains, at two o’clock. I just want to walk out there, take them out. End it all.”

My gaze returns to her form, and I can’t keep my eyes off her. She’s a statue, an eerie calm before the storm. “We all feel that way, LT. Today was a bad day—”

“Today is my birthday.”

I move to stand in front of her, blocking her view. I think I misheard her. I must have. “Say again?”

Those beautiful, haunted eyes meet mine in the dark, stormy night. “My birthday. I turned twenty-two today, Sarge.”

My jaw drops open, but she remains impassive, hands hanging motionless at her sides. Her form slumped over, weapon slung across her shoulder. My chest aches at her defeated posture, and the trembling of her lower lip is like a punch to the gut.

My heart hurts, and I don’t think it has anything to do with what happened today, but everything to do with her.

Ever since she came into my life, things haven’t been the same.

I never gave a shit.

Didn’t sweat the small or big stuff.

I figured when your time is up, it’s up.

But I’ll be damned if she didn’t fucking show up and every Intel run we do, I’m checking over my shoulder, paying a little closer attention, making sure she’s okay.

The downpour doesn’t let up; if anything, once the statement left her wet lips, the rain started pounding harder on us, beating us into the ground with the rumbling of the sky, and booming of thunder and lightning.

Something stirs inside me I can’t identify. Something brews, and my eyes stay glued to her stoic, anguished gaze. All I want to fucking do is hug her against me, kiss her forehead, and assure her that no one—and I mean no one—will ever hurt her as long as I’m alive.

She blinks and her expression changes from grief and pain, to anger and outrage.

“Don’t,” she snarls, thunder booming behind me, closer and louder than before.

“LT?”

“Don’t look at me like
that,
Sergeant.”

“Like what?” I’m confused. One second, I’m ready to carry her away and hold her all night, now she’s ready to put a cap in my ass.

“That look. Fucking pity.” She points at me, contempt and indignity kicking me in the proverbial balls. “Erase it from your fucking face right now.”

Last thing in my head was pity. I’d never pity this woman. She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I’ve watched her put guys twice her size in their place, then turn around and show the softest tact to the locals and little kids.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t pity you, if that helps.”

We’re getting soaked, the towers are watching us, and for some reason, her temper is feeding into the fucking weather, ‘cause the more pissed off she gets, the harder it rains and the closer the storm gets to us—hell, it’s heading right for us.

She flinches and her brows pinch while she stares at me, surprised. “You don’t?”

“No, ma’am. I just think it blows we didn’t know about your birthday.”

“Huh?”

I have her attention. Good. “You know, we could’ve celebrated, I mean, may I speak freely?” I’ve known her long enough to realize she needs structure and boundaries.

“You may.” Her eyes fill with confusion as she wipes drenched strands of hair off her face.

Our boots sinking in the mud, we’re both shivering at this point. The radio is silent. I’m sure as hell the guys are watching from the central room via video since this whole base is wired up. Nothing goes on they don’t know about.

“Well, for one, I’m surprised as fuck you’re twenty-two,” I say, doing my best to keep eye contact ‘cause, damn, she looks so fucking sexy all wet in that khaki t-shirt and my dick is twitching to life. That night at the TLQ seems like a lifetime ago. “Which means I’m not that much older than you.”

She blinks ever so slightly in surprise, focused solely on me. The rain eases up, now a light shower, the sky still grumbling in the distance. Like her mood, the desert is calming down around us.

“How old are you?” There’s a tinge of apprehension in her voice.

“I’ll be twenty-three this summer.”

“No shit.” She’s shocked.

Her expression brings a grin to my lips. “No shit.”

Her lips spread into a poignant smile, and that’s when the base sirens start blaring.

In a second, she’s on the radio barking orders. “Talk to me.”

Any hesitation in her tone is long gone. Back is Badass Lieutenant Harper. Her weapon is up and so is mine.

“Let’s get you out of the rain LT—”

A mortar round explodes about two-hundred feet from us.

I spring up off my couch so fast I fall on my ass. Scrambling through old takeout boxes, I hunt for my cell and quickly call Lil.

“Lil, are you okay?” I don’t wait for her greeting. Apprehension pumps through my system as I try to shake those memories away.

“I’m fine,” she clears her throat. “What’s wrong?”

I’m a shithead. I scared her. “Nothing’s wrong. Just checking in.”

“Good. I was wondering when I would hear from you, or see you again.”

I’ve been trying to keep what I’m doing as far away from
us
as possible. And going without Lil for this long is like slowly being choked to death. I can’t breathe, my chest is tight all the time, and my heart aches. 

“Well, this weekend I have to work, so I’ll try my best to come over next week sometime, okay?”

She hesitates but does her best to sound chipper. “No problem. I’m just happy to hear your voice. How are you? Are you okay?”

“No,” I groan. Before she can ask, I tell her what’s in my heart. “I fucking miss you so much.” I run my free hand through my hair as longing crushes my chest, deflating it. 

There’s nothing but silence on the other end.

Faint traffic noises tell me she’s most likely sitting out on the small balcony off her bedroom.

“Lil? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Her voice hitches. “Nothing, I’m glad you called. Are you okay otherwise?”

Shit
. She sounds rattled. “I’m fine. Just tired. I’m coming over—”

“Don’t, really. I’m so happy to hear your voice. I’m fine, seriously,” she mutters softly.

I know her. She sounds better, but if she misses me half as much as I miss her, she’s not fine.

“I want to hold you. God, I fucking miss you. Am I pathetic or what?” I want to be with her this fucking minute. I want to take her to bed and chase away those fucking demons that sneak up on us while we sleep.

She giggles into the phone. “You are. You are one sorry soldier, Colton.”

“Goes both ways, Harper. Look at you, missing your
boyfriend
and shit,” I tease and she laughs.

“Shut up.”

“So, what have you been up to?” I haven’t actually talked to her in forever.

“Not much. Went shopping with Chris.” She sighs like it was an inconvenience, but I know better. She loves her girl time with Chris.

I grin like a lovesick teenager as the morning sun bathes my balcony. “How did it go?”

“Good. I found this vintage shop up north, bought some outfits.”

Mmm
. “Old skirts and dresses?” I ask, aiming for seductive.

She laughs then corrects me. “Not old. Vintage.”