Breaking Through (The Breaking Series Book 3) (9 page)

Finally, I peeled away from the curb and merged with traffic, leaving Gui and my panic behind.

***

Having to stop my car by the side of the road or a gas station was becoming routine. Once again, I had to do that before driving to the club to meet Hannah, my mother, and some of her friends.

Lunch here always had the same rhythm. First, we all—around thirty women ranging from teens to high sixties—met at the balcony overseeing the tennis courts to have appetizers and drinks while engaging in small talk. About an hour later, we were ushered to the main dining room, to three long tables along the far back, where four floor-to-ceiling windows were always open, rain or shine, with a distant view of the main polo field. Here we were served several courses, slowly, then dessert and coffee. If there were a tournament underway, we would then make our way to the polo field. If there weren’t, we would walk out together. Some women stuck around to talk to other members or watch tennis matches, but most left.

This time, my mother wanted a seat at the balcony again to chat with another member. Hannah excused herself, saying she had to get back to the ranch before Jimmy made a mess of everything. When I tried coming up with an excuse, my mother cut me such a hard look, I shut my mouth, afraid she would disinherit me. So, I stayed seated beside them around one of the tables, inserting one ah or oh here and there, just so they thought I was paying attention to whatever they were saying.

Eloisa, one of my mother’s closest friends, looked past my mother and me, and smiled. “Oh, here comes my son.”

Reese, the newest and youngest player of the Knight House, stepped onto the balcony. Instantly, the memory of him watching me at the engagement party invaded my mind, along with the memory that I had tried flirting with him and failed miserably. My cheeks flamed.

“Hi, Mother,” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Hi, dear. You remember Mrs. Taylor and her youngest daughter, Hilary, don’t you?”

He turned to my mother and me with a courteous grin. “Of course. Hello, Mrs. Taylor, hello, Hilary, how are you?”

“I’m doing quite all right, Reese,” my mother said with a wide smile. “Thank you. How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” Reese answered. Then his eyes turned to me. “I heard you got a summer internship here in Santa Barbara. I hope that means you will come to the club more often.”

I smiled, though internally I was cringing, wondering how the hell he already knew about my internship. Had my mother blabbed to the whole club? To the entire town and region perhaps? I didn’t doubt that.

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Eloisa said.

“We’ll see what my schedule will look like once I start.”

“Don’t worry,” my mother said. “I’ll make sure she comes more often.”

He flashed his smile at her. “I’ll count on that.”

I stared as my mother winked at him, and he gave her a thumbs up. What the hell?

Eloisa checked the time on her wristwatch. “Don’t you have practice soon, Reese?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He bowed to my mother and me. “It was good to see you, ladies.”

“You too, Reese,” my mother said.

“Excuse me,” he said, retreating a few steps with his eyes on mine, before turning around and walking from the balcony in the field’s direction.

“Isn’t he gorgeous, Hilary?” My mother patted my hand. “He’s wonderful, Eloisa. I can see you raised a fine boy.”

“Oh, thank you, Joyce.” Eloisa shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I can say the same about your girls.”

I tuned them out as they exchanged silly pleasantries, and watched as Reese walked away, trying to decide what to think of this encounter. I took a deep breath, shutting down the tingling fear that always assaulted me whenever a guy showed interest in me or was close enough to do harm, and thought for a second. Reese was cute, and as a professional polo player, his physique was in top shape too. He seemed kind, polite, and into me. But was that enough? Enough to help me push back my fears so I could feel more for a guy? For him?

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think I would ever be sure. I even had this nagging feeling that if Liam Hemsworth dropped in front of me from the sky, professing his undying love, I still wouldn’t be sure.

My mother started talking about Hannah’s upcoming wedding, of course, and Eloisa seemed interested in it. Bored and trying to find an excuse to leave, I looked over the club, not really searching for anything. Until my eyes crossed one of the paths going to the main parking lot and found Gui stepping out of his Jeep.

For some reason, the Fernandes boys didn’t like to dress up to come to the club, even though it was a rule imposed at every corner—except to them. Gui was wearing jeans, a polo shirt, and cowboy boots, and he carried a white and dark blue bag with the Montenegro logo on it. He walked with an easy gait, and still looked confident, masculine, and handsome.

I inhaled sharply as his eyes found mine, and one corner of his lips tugged up. My heart sped up, and I stifled a gasp when I realized it wasn’t from panic.

Despite my best efforts to remain impassive, I smiled at him. Until a shadow caught my sight, and I looked past him.

Lucas had just arrived too and was walking up the path a few feet behind Gui.

The smile faded from my lips. A knot appeared between Gui’s brows, and he looked over his shoulders. He halted upon seeing Lucas and waited until Lucas was right beside him to keep walking. They started chatting and Gui didn’t look at me again.

I focused on my mother and Eloisa. They were now discussing honeymoon options. My mother thought Hannah and Leo should do a classic trip through Europe, while Eloisa thought they should do something more exotic, like going to the Maldives or some other stunning beach.

Okay, I was done. After coming up with an acceptable excuse, I bid my mother and Eloisa good-bye and walked to the parking lot, eager to get away from here.

I was nearing my car, keys already in my hand, when someone called me.

“Hilary, wait.”

I turned around and saw Lucas jogging toward me. Images of the engagement party flashed in my mind and panic rushed through me. Clutching the keys, I stepped back, bumping into my car.

“H-hi, Lucas.”

My expression was probably of a scared woman, because he halted a good distance from me, his hand turned up as if in surrender.

“I just want to say I’m sorry.” He shook his head once. “I don’t remember anything about that night, but Gui and Malcolm told me what I did. I’m so, so sorry.”

My palm was wet around the car keys. “I-it’s okay now. Thanks for apologizing.”

“I know there’s no excuse for it, but I want you to know that I usually don’t drink that much. It’s just … my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, had just broken up with me the day before, and I was … I wasn’t in the right state of mind. That mixed with too much alcohol …” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not good. I’m really sorry.”

I nodded. He was right. It was no excuse, but it made me feel a little better to know that he usually didn’t drink that much. Hopefully, he didn’t try to kiss every girl who crossed his path at parties and clubs.

“Okay,” I muttered, not sure what else to say.

“All right. Yeah. I just wanted to apologize.” He started turning around. “I need to go …” I nodded again and he waved me. “Bye.”

Lucas jogged back to the club. Stunned and still a little shaky, I kept watching him and, in the distance, I saw Gui standing near the main polo field, watching me.

Gui

Usually, we showed up at the club an hour before a game, but today I decided to go even earlier. I arrived at the club almost two hours before the scheduled afternoon game. And I kept telling myself it wasn’t because Hilary was probably still here with Hannah and her mother for their bimonthly lunch. Because that would be freaking stupid and girl-like.

Não
. I had arrived early because I wanted to go for a run around the club before the game. Yes, that. I wanted to work out a little before the game, but I still wanted to have some time between the workout and the game. Right.

I parked my Jeep in its usual spot at the back of the parking lot, under a large tree and its sweet shadow, and walked to the main building. And there she was, seated beside her mother, and some other woman on the balconies overseeing the tennis court.

As if Hilary knew I was looking at her, she turned her head and her eyes met mine. I should have looked away, but she held my stare, and I just couldn’t look away.

Then, her eyes shifted, falling on something behind. I glanced back and saw Lucas walking from the parking lot, a few yards behind me. When I looked back at her, Hilary was still staring at the floor, her hands pressed together on her lap. She was probably remembering the engagement night, when this fucked up drunken dude hit on her. I had almost hit him then, and for some reason, I almost turned around and hit him now.

Instead, I paused long enough for him to catch up with me.

“Hey man,” I said.

He looked up at me, his brows furrowed. “Hey. What’s up?”

I shrugged. “Nothing. Going to the field to get ready for the game. You?”

He launched in a tale of watching the Knight House practice as I shifted most of my focus on Hilary. I saw as she stood and started walking toward her car. Lucas noticed too.

“Wait.” He halted. “I have to go talk to her.”

I didn’t like that. “I think that might not be the best idea.”

“I know but, I need to apologize for the other day. I feel too bad, and, shit, she probably hates me right now. With good reason.”

All right, I could understand that, so I didn’t stop him when he jogged back to the parking lot and called her.

I took one step, willing my body to go to the field, or the lockers. Anywhere. But my mind had another idea. I whirled around, on the side of the polo field’s main path, and watched Hil and Lucas, just in case.

The conversation was quick and when Lucas turned around and started back this way, Hilary’s eyes found mine. I held her brief stare, and something like longing, like want bloomed in my chest. I wanted … I wanted to go to her, hold her hands, and tell her she was okay.

Then she broke the stare, slipped into her car, and drove away.

I let out a long breath as I resumed walking. Soon, I was on the side of the building, going through the side entrance, to the locker rooms. My brain tried to come up with excuses to why I should have gone back to the front and talked to her before she left, but nothing made sense, and finally, I told my brain to shut the hell up. It wasn’t happening. It was better if I kept my distance.

I changed into shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt and went running. Hopefully, the exercise would clear my head.

Chapter Six

I ran across campus, doing my best not to bump into anyone. My first exam on Monday was at ten in the morning, so I usually slept in a little. However, today I had last Friday’s test scheduled at 8:30 a.m., and I had totally forgotten about it!

Because of that, I ran like a crazy woman, my tote firmly under my left arm, my coffee mug in my right hand.

I stepped into the classroom at 8:33 a.m. and the professor was handing the tests to the students. My eyes scanned around, searching for a place to sit, but I froze. The classroom wasn’t full, but there were only boys here. Only men. About a dozen or more.

I barely registered as the professor said, “Miss Taylor, you’re late.” I opened my mouth to explain to him what happened, but no words came out. He sighed. “Take a seat.”

I glanced around. Would I take a seat? If I didn’t take this test, I would fail this class. Wasn’t I strong enough to push through my fear, my panic, to pass a class? I wasn’t so sure.

Shaking so hard I was sure I was going to fall on my face, I finally moved, taking the nearest empty seat I could find to the door. Just in case. Just so I could tell myself nothing was going to happen and that I was safe. This was a healthy environment, a respectful college. Besides, the professor was here, and he would never allow anything to happen to one of his students, would he? Well, he was also a man.

I closed my eyes and tried my therapist’s technique. The tap tap of a pen, the chuckle of someone behind me, the whispers at my side, the footsteps of the professor … It was useless here.

I can do this. I will do this.

I took a deep breath and willed my heart and my breathing to slow down. Not so easy.

I can do this.

Just as I grabbed a pen from my tote, the professor handed me the test, then walked back to his table in front of the class. “You may begin,” he said.

I turned to my paper and started reading the words. I read the same sentence five times and still couldn’t absorb what it said, not when I was surrounded by men. Men who were stealing glances at me every few seconds. Men who smiled at me as if I were their prey.

Okay, okay. I was imagining things. Wasn’t I?

Calm down, Hilary.

I dared to peek to my sides, and sure enough, most of the guys in the classroom were watching me. Some scribbled a little, then looked at me for a few seconds, then returned their attention to their test, and the cycle went on. But a couple were blatantly staring at me, as if they could see the answers to the test in my face? I wasn’t sure.