Breathless (106 page)

When I got home, I learned from a note that my dad went to pick up my mom from the hospital and they were going straight to the airport from there. And then I got another surprise. They would be gone for over two weeks. Apparently, my mother needed a vacation; it was a long awaited one for the both of them and they would see me when they returned. A last note told me not to get in trouble. I flicked the note away after I read that. Trouble? What trouble would they even care about now?

Then I remembered Angie’s hug and her words. ‘I just feel that you’re hurting a lot more than you let on and it kills me.’ When the same tears came to the surface, I brushed them away and headed to my room. It wasn’t near evening, but I changed into my pajamas and curled underneath my covers. At this point, I didn’t know what was worse. Having my mom in the house when I knew she was suffering like the rest of us, or not having anyone in the home? Or, I gulped, being alone in the house when I felt Ethan’s presence? Sometimes it was so overwhelming I could only gasp for breathe and hold onto where I was at the moment. Sometimes I was in bed. Sometimes I was at the kitchen table, gripping the table in front of me. When I was on the couch, I hugged the cushion sewn into the couch. By the time it would leave me, I was so shaken and pale that I would look like a ghost if anyone saw me.

I always wanted to call Jesse, but I never did. I did now, though. I gave in, but hung up immediately. No good would come from hearing his voice. Only pain.

I sighed.

Then I stuffed it down again. I’d been doing it for over a year.

And with that last thought, I took a deep breath and then put a movie in. It was after my fourth one when the doorbell rang, my cell phone buzzed an alert, and my parents’ landline rang. I jumped and hoped I hadn’t crapped my pants. I threw back the covers and hurried downstairs. The phone kept ringing, so I grabbed that one first.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.” Angie sounded out of breath.

The doorbell went again.

“Someone’s at the door. I’ll call you back in a second.”

“It’s me. I’m freezing my ass off.”

“Oh—” I hung up and went to the door. As I swung it open, a burst of cold air blasted me. Angie and Justin were both shivering and dashed inside. I was pushed against the wall, but when I followed them into the living room, I couldn’t hold back a smile. Angie dove for the blankets and wrapped one around her before she hurled herself on the couch. Justin gave me a slight wave as he was stomping his feet up and down and shaking his hands.

“What are you guys doing here?”

Angie rolled to her back on the couch and grinned up at me. She was cocooned like a butterfly. “Marissa called. She found another good deal. Pack your bags. Our plane leaves for Vegas in three hours.”

“What? No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

I opened my mouth, a lame excuse on the tip of my tongue, when Angie rolled her eyes and struggled to sit up. Then she made a show of looking around. I closed my mouth. I already knew where this was going. I beat her to it. “It’s date night.”

She snorted. “Yeah, right. No one’s here.”

“I told you. Date night. They’re allowed.”

Her eyes narrowed. “When are they coming back?”

“Tonight.”

“Fine.” There was movement under her blanket and I guessed it was her arms crossing over her chest. “Then we’ll stay and wish them Happy Thanksgiving.”

Now my eyes narrowed. I said through gritted teeth, “They’re coming back tomorrow, but I’m not supposed to tell anybody that.”

“Why not?”

“They don’t want overnight guests.” I cringed at that lie. It wasn’t even a believable one.

“And what overnight guests wouldn’t they like? Me? They don’t like me now.”

I glanced around for Justin, but he was gone. Not a surprise. He had a habit of wandering anywhere we would go. “What’s the point of this? I don’t want to go to Vegas. I can’t afford it.”

“I told you. It’s a good deal.”

I sighed, “I still can’t. I have no money.”

“What about the coffee hut?”

“Minimum wage?”

She flinched. “You’re right, but that’s okay. It’s my treat. I owe you for all the years of great friendship.”

And then Justin came back in with a note in his hand. He held it up with a weird expression on his face. “Since when does date night consist of two weeks?”

My stomach hurled to the ground.

Angie’s mouth dropped open.

I hissed at him, “What are you? A ninja? Stop poking through my house.”

He shrugged as Angie threw the blanket off and snatched the note from his hand. Then she cried out, “Are you serious? Your parents left you alone for two weeks? That’s insane.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal? It’s a huge deal. That decides it. Shoo. Go pack a bag for the weekend. We’re all going to Vegas.”

I folded my arms over my chest and dug my heels in. “I’m fine being alone.”

She snorted again.

“I am. I have a whole day planned tomorrow.”

“What? Eating? Maybe sleeping? Whoop de doo, Miss-Party-Girl-That-You-Used-To-Be.”

She wasn’t far off, but I puffed my chest out and ignored the painful reminder of my old self. “No, I was going to watch Jesse’s game tomorrow. It’s being televised.”

“Well, guess what?” Her eyes gleamed at me with purpose.

I was suddenly nervous.

“You can actually go to his game. They play in Vegas, and Marissa’s already got tickets for us. She said Cord owed her and he’s on the team, so what’s your next argument with that?”

She’d beaten me. Or the idea of seeing Jesse again had done the trick. I swallowed over a knot from anticipation and tried to tell myself that I was going to pack a bag because Angie had won this argument. Then I shook my head and my heart picked up its pace. I couldn’t lie to myself. I was going to see Jesse. The idea had my hands sweating already.

“Fine.” But I said it slowly and oh-so-reluctantly.

She smirked. “And don’t even try to pretend that you’re not excited about seeing your guy again. We all know differently.”

I froze. What did she know?

Then she admitted, “I’m a little excited to see him play. He’s our hometown celebrity. Maybe we should ask for his autograph.”

Justin frowned. “I don’t like that idea.”

Angie laughed before she draped herself over him and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Then she pressed a kiss to his cheek and hugged tight. “Oh, come on. I love you, but Jesse Hunt is gorgeous.”

A small grin escaped his frown. “I have a little bit of a man crush on him. I’m man enough to admit that.”

As I went up to my room, I couldn’t hold back my smile. I was excited. I wasn’t even going to try and stuff it down. It was the first time in a long time I’d felt that emotion. When I checked my cell phone, I got even more excited. It was a text message from Jesse, but then I read it.

‘U in Vegas? Your folks are here, said they stopped in for a few days before some trip? U here? Call me.’

I plopped down on my bed.

Everything went numb. The phone fell from my hand and I couldn’t do anything. I sat there. And I didn’t know how long I was there until Angie poked her head around the door. She had a wide smile on her face, but it vanished in a heartbeat. She pushed through the door and sat beside me. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t speak.

Then she bent and lifted the phone from the floor. After she read the text message, she studied me for a moment. Her voice was so small when she asked, “You didn’t know they were going there?”

I shook my head. I still couldn’t speak.

“How long has this been going on?”

Everything in me throbbed. My heart ached. My head hurt. I couldn’t get my fingers to work, but I rasped out, “What?”

She lifted my phone. “Your parents. They upped and left you. Now they went to see Jesse and you didn’t even know. Or did you?”

I shook my head. Why did everything hurt? It always hurt.

She sighed. It was a soft sigh, one that spoke of so much emotion. “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am.”

I jerked a shoulder up. What did it matter?

Then she asked the question I’d been dreading. “How long have you and Jesse been texting?”

My eyes closed.

She watched me. I felt her gaze. And I shook my head. Now wasn’t the time to push that button. And she expelled a ragged breath. “Okay. I’ll leave that one alone, but I’m going to ask you later. You know I will.”

I nodded as I bit my lip. Even that slight bit of pain was welcomed. It distracted from the other pain inside of me. I was helpless against that form.

One of Angie’s hands caught the side of my head and she pulled me against hers in a side-ways hug. We stayed there, with her arm around my shoulder and then she said, “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am for what I can’t even imagine has happened.”

My eyes clasped shut. The tears were there, they wanted to cascade out, but I couldn’t let them. It’d be over if I did. I’d been holding everything in so well until then. I couldn’t let it happen now. Not now.

But my hand grasped her arm and I held on tight. I didn’t want to move away, not in this lifetime.

Twelve

My stomach was in knots the entire time in the plane, so when we landed in Vegas, I was barely able to stomach the idea of food. Angie and Justin suggested food, but I shook my head and they grabbed something on the way from a food cart. It didn’t take long to get our bags and then we were in the taxi and headed towards Marissa’s hotel. As we got closer to the Tropicana, my heart was pumping louder and louder. I couldn’t believe Angie or Justin hadn’t heard it.

When the taxi got to the hotel and we walked into the lobby, Marissa and Eric were waiting for us. She jumped up and down, waving her hand. As she lifted her arm each time, her white dress inched down a centimeter with each wave. As we started in their direction, she grabbed Eric’s hand and dragged him towards us. We were met halfway. Marissa kept bouncing up and down, hugging each of us. When all of us had been greeted, she repeated the process and repeated it again.

“You’re here! You’re here.” Marissa clapped. “Yay, yay!”

Eric looked green around his mouth. He held a hand to his stomach, but tried for a smile. “Hey, guys.”

Angie’s eyebrows went high. “And she’s drunk.”

Justin chuckled and clapped a hand on Eric’s shoulder. “Been drinking since you got here?”

He nodded, and gulped for breath. His cheeks swelled suddenly.

Justin’s laugh grew in volume. He swatted him once again. “Yep, sounds like Marissa’s influence has done its job. Good job.”

Eric jerked forward, clapped a hand over his mouth, paled, and then fled down a hallway.

“Honey!” Marissa followed after him, with clumsier movements.

“Hey! What about us?”

“Oh.” She put the brakes on and skidded back. A key card was flung at us from her purse before she turned back around. “You’re all in room 5214, right next to us. You’re checked in and everything. I’ll come over in a bit.”

“All of us?”

A distracted wave was her response.

Angie sighed in disgust. “I can’t believe she did that. We should’ve gotten a suite with three separate rooms. That would be less awkward then.”

“Uh…” Justin glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Um, honey. We’ll be fine. It’s no problem.”

“No problem?” she seethed. “This is all Marissa’s fault. She called us at the last minute and demanded we all do this, and then she doesn’t think things through. Honey, we’re in Vegas and we can’t—”

Then she stopped and turned to me. Horrified.

The knots in my stomach had dropped like stones, but I swallowed my pride and shrugged. “It’s fine. I can get my own room somewhere.”

“Oh, my God. I am so sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean—” She balled up her fists and pressed them to her forehead. “None of this is going the right way. I can’t believe I said it like that. I’m really sorry, Alex. I really am. I’m mad at Marissa, not you, never you.”

But, I was the problem. And she knew that I knew that. A deep guilt started to settle in when Justin threw his arms around us both and pulled us tight. He squeezed us together and said in a cheerful tone, “No worries, Alex. Me and Ang can have daytime sex if you’re not around.”

“Justin!”

He grinned at me as he was swatted in the back of his head. “I prefer sex during the day anyway, so you’re kind of helping me out here.”

“Shut up, Justin.”

But he hugged us tighter and turned both of us towards the hallway. “Come on, ladies. Let’s go find our room.”

Angie glared at him. “I’m going to make you pay for this, you know.”

“Yeah, but that’s another reason why having Alex around is a good idea for me. You can’t fillet my ass.”

She opened her mouth, ready for another seething retort, but then she jerked in the air and gasped. She whirled around, red in the face and eyes, as a hand reached around to her butt. Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish’s for a second and then the scathing look intensified. “You pinched my ass!”

Justin hooted before he burst ahead of us down the hallway.

“Justin!”

He waved the card in the air. “Good luck getting into the room. I’ve got the key.”

“AH!” And she took off after him.

I stayed back and watched as the two chased each other down the hallway. Justin was giggling, Angie was growling, but right before she turned the corner, I saw the smile on her face as well. I sighed on the inside. They were in love. They had been for such a long time.

I wanted that. I did, but then an old feeling inside of me triggered again.

People didn’t find the love they had. Not really. And if they did, they were lucky, incredibly so.

With that thought, I knew I had to get my own room. I was the fifth wheel on this trip. When I went back to the front desk, a worker told me that there were no empty rooms. I needed to have a reservation at least a few weeks in advance. After she told me all this, with a blank expression on her face, I wondered if Marissa had booked two rooms from the beginning.

“Street girl?”

And then I stopped wondering about it.

Cord Tatum stood behind me with his arm around a girl’s waist. He was dressed in Grant West University gear, with athletic pants and a sweatshirt that looked like it might’ve cost over $200. Two other guys were with him, dressed the same. The girl wore a skimpy red top and jeans that were like a second skin.