Broken and Screwed 2 (The BS Series) (18 page)

He bent low and nuzzled underneath my ear as his hand pressed flat against my stomach. His thumb began rubbing again. Each stroke made me forget where we were. As his ministrations grew bolder and slipped inside my pants, I was panting, holding his head against me as his lips nibbled the underside of my jaw. He whispered, “I want to go public.”

My eyes popped out. I stopped breathing. No, no, no. That couldn’t happen, especially after hearing Tiffany’s reaction. I couldn’t handle that.

“What?” He pulled back, his mouth in a flat line now. “Why do you freak out like that? You did it the last time too.”

“Come on.”

“Yeah. Come on,” he snapped. “I’m sick of hiding. I’m sick of the sneaking around and picking you up late at night, making sure my roommates are sleeping. I want you to come over so I can study with you during the day and not have to deal with Tiffany always asking. What’s your problem? Are you embarrassed?”

“Yeah, right,” I bit out. “Me, a nobody, being embarrassed at being the campus basketball star’s fuck buddy.”

His hand went to my shoulder and he pushed me against the wall. He bent so he was eye-level. “You are not my fuck buddy. Shit, Alex. You’ve never been. You know that.”

“That first year—”

“That first year nothing. I felt guilty. Ethan hadn’t wanted me to be with you and you were the first thing I did after he died.”

I flushed at the literal meaning behind his statement.

He continued, vehemently, “I’m serious. I’m sorry about that first year, but I was trying to stay away. I was trying to respect your brother’s wishes, but screw Ethan. If he were alive now, he’d know he was wrong. I mean, hell, he knew first hand that being perfect wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. He tried to do everything your parents wanted and when he messed that up—” His eyes widened and he stopped himself, but his chest rose from the effort. He backed away from me, watching me guardedly now.

I was slammed from what he’d said. My parents. Perfection. Ethan messed up. I lunged for Jesse and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” He tried to dislodge himself.

I reversed our positions. He was the one against the wall now, metaphorically and literally. I knew enough. Something had happened. Something my brother had done and somehow it included my parents. “Explain yourself. Now.”

“I can’t.” All fight left him. His tone was soft, defeated. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head. That was all he did.

Agony and long-forgotten grief broke free again. It was sweltering, overwhelming. I couldn’t push it away. The old Ethan was there again. His ghost was next to me, pressing against me, pushing at me. I was being suffocated. I couldn’t get away from him.

“Alex,” Jesse grabbed me. “This isn’t the right time, but to hell with it—” He kissed me.

He continued to kiss me and he transferred us so that I was against the building once again. His hand slipped under my shirt and he cupped my breast. His fingers wrapped around one and he began to caress me. His lips commanded his entrance. Helpless, I opened for him. His tongue swept in and he melted against me. Every inch of him was plastered against me.

Desire battled away the panic. Then my body came awake and I gasped, wrapping my arms around him. One of my legs lifted on its own accord. He caught it and held it up, using the angle to press even more against me.

I felt him between my legs. I knew he wanted me and I began to kiss him back. My fingers unzipped his pants. They went inside and I found him. Gasping, he hissed against my lips, rubbing against my tongue as I began to stroke him. He was already hard. He grew even harder.

“Your room,” he whispered.

I nodded.

Before we left the hideaway, he tried to adjust himself. His shirt was pulled out to cover him and then we slipped from the bushes. As we did, a large group had congregated outside the library’s doors. They spread over the yard and it wasn’t long before the whispers started. Jesse Hunt, seen coming out of the bushes. I knew this would be all over. A few cell phones were raised, but he ignored them. Taking my hand, he led the way towards my dorm. As we went up the back stairs and into my room, the damage was done.

Jesse wanted to go public and we just had, whether I wanted it or not.

But then he locked the door, took me in his arms, and I stopped worrying. For the moment.

It was
an hour later when the knock came. As I opened the door, after throwing some clothes on and making Jesse do the same, Beth hurried inside. She closed the door behind, locking it, before turning to us. A cloud of doom was over her.

My gut dropped. I remembered the cell phones. I remembered the whispers. I knew where this was going.

“Hi, I’m Beth.”

Jesse nodded, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. His basketball shorts were on, but no shirt. Her eyes lingered over his broad shoulders and I couldn’t blame her. “Beth.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath. “It’s all over. You know that, right?”

My butt made contact with my chair. I wasn’t consciously aware of sitting, but I must’ve. I was now looking up at her. Faintly, I nodded. “People saw us come out of the bushes.”

“Yeah.” She frowned at me. “Those pics are on a website. I even got a few sent to me and you know how social I am with the gossip mongers at this college.”

I nodded, but I was reeling. What did this mean? I should’ve done something, damage control in some way, but what? I hadn’t been thinking straight. Jesse always muddled things for me. I never had a clear head when it came to him and now this…my heart was pounding so loudly, it wanted out of me.

She perched on my sofa’s arm. “What are you going to do?”

Jesse snorted, rolling his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? Who gives a shit if I’m banging you. It’s none of their business.”

“Jesse,” I started.

“I’m serious.” He stood, just gaining momentum. He grabbed a bag and started stuffing my clothes in it.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m packing you a bag. You don’t want to deal with this? Fine. Live with me. Problem solved, but damage is already done. You can’t go back on this. Hell, I won’t let you.”

Frowning as he grabbed my favorite things and put them inside the bag, I could only sit there. Had he not heard Tiffany’s threat? And she was only the first one. I knew it’d get bad after this. It never got better. There was always a valley of hellish moments I’d have to wade through. But then Beth came over and she started grabbing my books. “What are
you
doing?”

She took all of it. My textbooks, my notebooks, all of my laptop cords, even my highlighters and pens. “What do you think? It’s a good plan. Do you not know what girls live on this floor? I heard the stories. Kara took them to their party and they broke into his room.”

“They did?”

Jesse shrugged. “Worse shit has happened.”

Another soft knock came at the door, followed by Kara’s voice, “It’s me, guys. Can I come in?”

Jesse was closest. He opened the door and locked it as soon as she slipped under his arm. Glancing up at him, she was flushed in the cheeks. “Oh, hi, Jesse. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

“Hey.” He started grabbing my shoes.

Giving me a warm smile, she came over and touched my arm. “You okay?”

I was still dazed. What was going on with my life?

Beth answered for me, “She’s behind. We’re packing so she can live with Jesse.”

“Oh! That’s a great idea.” She looked around. “What do you want me to do?”

Jesse gestured to my mini-fridge. “She’s got her favorite foods and sodas in there. You can put them all in a bag.”

“Stop! Stop, you guys.”

His bag was dropped by the door and he bent for another one. Underwear, socks, and bras went into that one. He drew out a piece of black lingerie and raised his eyebrow at me, then flashed me a smirk and tossed it with the rest.

“Jesse, stop.” I tried to take the bag from him, but he shook his head and nudged me out of the way with his hip. “Jesse.”

Kara had squatted down my fridge and she blinked up at me from the floor now. “I think it’s a good idea, Alex. Kate and Amanda are outside your door. I know they’re wondering if Jesse’s in here.”

“Who are Kate and Amanda?”

Beth snorted as she zipped up my bag. “They’re tarantulas. Icky and full of poison. I hate those girls. They’re friends with Hannah’s roommate.”

Ooh. Noted. Jesse nodded at the bed. “You want your pillow and blanket too?”

“I don’t like this.” I plopped back down. This was all too much. Was this really necessary?

Beth said to him, “Better take it, just in case.”

“Oh my gawd.”

“Okay.” Kara stood, a grocery bag bulging in her arms. “I’m done. Anything else?”

Jesse looked at Beth, who shrugged. “I think I got all her stuff.”

I was moving out. It was final. The revelations were already starting and I knew there was more to come. I couldn’t believe any of this. Then panic started in. I would be living in a house with four guys; one that I would be sleeping with every night. I’d had the house to myself over the last year. My parents moved out after her suicide attempt. Then that summer, there hadn’t even been friends involved. Me and Ethan.

My chest tightened. My vision grew blurry. My head started to pound.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live with all those people.

“She’s freaking,” Beth spoke over my head. “Shouldn’t you say something to her?”

Jesse replied, “Nah. Let her stay in this state. She’s easier to move around. When she wakes up, she’ll start fighting. I won’t get anything done then.”

Someone patted me on the head.

Kara soothed, “It’ll be okay. Jesse’s like a celebrity here and now everyone knows you’re connected. Once they get over the shock, they’ll start not to care. You can come back then.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“Derek told me. He said Ethan was your brother.” She turned to Jesse. “That was your best friend, right?”

“He was my family,” he said softly.

My heart constricted. I was his family too. So was Zala. Wiping a tear away, I stood on trembling knees, but I ignored them and reached for a bag. “I can carry something.”

My purse was slapped into my chest. Beth grinned. “You can carry that. You have to lock the door, don’t forget.”

I flushed. I would’ve.

When we went into the hallway with our army of luggage, some girls squealed. I heard the sounds of cell phones taking pictures and one girl even asked for his autograph. Jesse plowed through them and led the way for Beth. Kara waited until I locked the door and went behind me. Once everything was in his car, Beth patted my shoulder, saying, “This is the best goodbye you’ll get from me. I don’t do personal contact.”

Kara threw her arm around her shoulder. She beamed at me. “I’ll bring her over to visit.”

Beth threw her arm off before darting back inside.

“If you need anything else, let me know. I’m coming over for the night. The RA from fifth floor is covering for me.”

“Because of me?”

“Because I want to be with my boyfriend. So call if you forgot anything. I’ll be here for three more hours.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Jesse waited until Kara had stepped away before he turned the car out of the parking lot. The same girls who were always outside the door, smoking, watched the entire spectacle, but this time they waved their goodbyes. I wondered if they had known the whole time? They always seemed to be outside.

Derek had the garage door opened and waited until we parked. He came over, nodded to me, and bent to grab the bags from the back of Jesse’s car. Everything, the little I had, was transferred in minutes. It was then that I remembered my car.

Jesse already had my keys in his hand. He dangled them and gestured to Derek. “We’ll go get your car.”

This was so stupid. It was as if some trauma happened and they were treating me with kid gloves, like I was ready to break.
Fragile: Handle with Care.
Sighing from disgust, I went up the stairs to put my food and soda away. As I stepped into the kitchen, Cord was coming from their garage. He was holding hands with a tall and leggy blonde. She giggled, running her hand up and down his arm. He nodded to me in greeting. “Heard what happened.”

I grunted.

“That bad?”

“What do you care? You don’t have to look out for me now. It’s out in the open. I can handle it from here. Thank you.”

His eyes narrowed, but he shrugged. “Fine, but I wasn’t being nice cause of Jesse. I liked Ethan too. Thought we were friends, but if that’s not what you want, so be it.”

And the Bitch of the Moment Award went to…

I sighed as they started up the stairs. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a great track record with friends.”

“I know. Why do you think I don’t give Marissa the time of day?”

“You did that for me?”

He flashed me a smirk. “Nah. I did that because it showed me what kind of girl she really was, well, that and how she cheated on her guy with me. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

I snorted and finished putting all my food away. I was still in disbelief at the turn of events. Maybe everyone was overreacting. They could be blowing this entire thing out of proportion. I was turning back down the stairs when the front door opened again.

Keys were tossed on the counter and someone walked into the kitchen. They hadn’t spotted me. It was someone familiar with the house, so, holding my breath, I figured I should get it over with. It must’ve been Jamie. And I didn’t want to imagine his reaction.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Nope.

Tiffany Chatsworth stood before me, rigid and furious. Sadly, the look agreed with her. The ice-cold beauty queen seemed even more stunning before me. All her hatred was directed at me. She said it again, “Are you fucking kidding me?” Waving her phone around, I guessed what was on it. “I thought this was a prank. Had to be, because who the hell are you? You’re no one. You may be pretty, but you’ve got to be blackmailing him. He kept his mouth shut, for you?”

A door was opened and footsteps hurried down the stairs. Then Cord was there, standing between us. He held a hand out to Tiffany as if she was going to attack me, but she knocked it down and twisted around him.

The first dose was only her warm-up. Her face scrunched up as she threw out, “You’re a freak. Hannah told me about you. You don’t think she didn’t? She said you’re not normal and something’s off with you. She said things don’t compute right with you. She’s right, but I can’t believe Jesse has anything to do with you. He must be—”

“Enough!” Cord growled down at her.

Her words stung, but I knew they were true. And she was right, about all of it. What was Jesse doing with me? But it wasn’t the first time I’d thought that. I had always wondered, but Tiffany was wrong at the same time. My gut kicked in, an emotion spread through me. It was—I couldn’t name it, but it felt right. It felt normal. Then I knew what it was and I looked her dead in the eye. Softly, I started, “You’re wrong.”

A bitter laugh wrung from her. She threw her head back and it came bellowing out. She didn’t look very ladylike, not how she always tried to be. The Grant West Royal Court. She looked like a joke right now, but she bit out, “Okay, little girl, why don’t you tell me what I’m wrong about. Please enlighten me! I would love to hear this.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t fit in.”

She scoffed in disbelief. “Please.”

A calm settled over me and I spoke clearly, “I heard you.”

She frowned.

“In the library. I heard what you said to him. You’re the one who wants in. You want Jesse, don’t you? It goes both ways, you know. Your sister told me things too, about you this time. I know you want your boyfriend to use Jesse’s connections to help Jamie run for office. Does Jamie know that? Or no, do you not know about his dream of being a sports news anchor? Because that’s what I heard his plans are after college, not law school.”

Her frown deepened, but it didn’t cut her.

She didn’t care. I realized that and then I knew the real reason she liked Jesse’s connections. “Or no, you’re using your boyfriend to stay close to Jesse.”

Her eyes widened.

Bingo.

I shook my head and took a step closer, softening my voice, “You want him. You want to use him to become famous, don’t you? Or do you just want to be with Jesse? Do you think you love him? You think he could ever love you?”

“And you think he loves you?” she spat out.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not, but I know one thing.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m his family.”

They snapped back to mine at that statement. Oh yes. I saw the different assessment. I wasn’t the crazy one now. Wariness flooded in; perhaps she had misjudged the situation? I could see all the thoughts playing over her and then dread settled in, along with loathing. The bitch loathed me. Well, welcome to the club.

I imagined a knife in my hand. I’d just dug it into her and now I ground it in a circle, really making it painful for her. “I grew up with him. He lived with my family. I’m his family. Alex, always Alex. That’s what Zala said. Do you even know who that is?”

Her eyes shuttered, closing and turning away from me. The bitch was being knocked down a peg. It was damn time. The smug smirk on my face wasn’t pretty. I knew that. I didn’t care. As she looked me in the eye again, she saw some of the crazy rage, a gift from my parents. It was the least I could give her. “I have been in his life longer than you and I will remain in his life, past your due date, so don’t get comfortable in this home. Your boyfriend lives here. He’s the only reason you’re allowed.”

“Alex!”

Jesse’s shout didn’t startle me. I heard the gravel on the driveway outside. I was aware of the door opening and how Kara followed Derek inside. Stepping back, I glanced at him idly. He was chalk white, but his eyes were riveted on me. He looked sick.

I frowned.

Tiffany’s voice seethed at him, over my shoulders, “Nice new girlfriend you got here. She’s a complete whack job.”