Broken Dreams (19 page)

“I think we’ve got it, love.” His smile was welcoming. “Maybe you could try to fix us some food? I’m pretty hungry.”

I felt warm from the thought of taking care of my new family. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be.

Chapter 8

ver the next couple of weeks, we cleared Henry’s building and only found two other survivors. Neither wanted anything to do with our group. Henry said they were scared, and didn’t trust us. He also said it was no big fucking deal because we didn’t need anyone else tagging along with us, anyway.

The nights were getting chilly. Fall had settled in for the long haul, and winter was knocking on the front door. I felt anxiety rushing through me over the nighttime hours. Every new day was another horrific, murderous drama, and I didn’t want to partake in it. None of us did.

Henry, Nick, and Nate were trying to figure out a new way to secure the front window that broke when Sophie tossed that grenade into a small herd of undeads. I did nothing but sit and stare at their efforts.

Sophie was cleaning some weapons, and Claire was quietly placing candles around the apartment so we could see in the nighttime hours. She was still lost in her thoughts, but I knew she would come around soon. She was the strongest person I knew.

I was feeling tired after another physically and emotionally exhausting day so I decided to retire for the night. I grabbed two candles out of the kitchen and brought them with me. I clicked the door closed, trying to be quiet. I stripped out of my borrowed clothes, and found another t-shirt to wear to bed.

The no panties thing was really starting to get to me. I rummaged through Henry’s drawers and found a pair of gym shorts with a drawstring. I decided that I would have to find some clothes that fit soon. There was a light knock on the door. I pulled on the shorts and opened it. Henry slipped in without a sound.

“Hey.” It was my old Henry again. His graying eyes looked hollow in the candlelight.

“Hi.” My voice was quiet and you could still feel the tension between us. It rattled me to the core. We weren’t the same as before our wedding day, and it broke my heart.

“I was coming to check on you to make sure you’re doing alright.” He reached out and touched my arm. Goose bumps sprang up all over my body. I don’t know if it was his cool hand, or if I was missing his romantic touch. “How are you doing, my love?” I laughed to myself. How was I doing?

“Pretty fucking dandy. How about yourself?”

“Ah…there she is. That’s my girl.” He smiled. “Not quite as fantastic as you look, I must say.” I laughed again.

“Really, Henry? I look fantastic? Wow. I didn’t know a free ‘blood donor’ t-shirt and a pair of too big gym shorts made me look this fantastic.” I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

“You look more than fantastic. Absolutely sexy, if you want to know the truth.” I shook my head. I wasn’t thrilled. I looked down at my borrowed clothes and sighed.

I wasn’t prissy in any way, but there is just something about wearing clothes that fit. And I could have used a few pairs of panties. I’d even settle for some granny panties. It’s amazing what I took for granted before, but never again.

He grabbed both my arms and made me look into his eyes. Those eyes looked so sad and full of anger. I knew it was his past hanging over his head like a fucking stout, black cloud. “Look, tomorrow we will try to get you and Claire some stuff to wear. I’m running out of stuff myself with everybody borrowing.”

“Okay,” I said with a quiet sigh. He pulled me close to him and held me. He was humming a song that I didn’t recognize. He began slow dancing with me, holding me close and tight to his body. My voice was soft when I said, “Henry?”

“Hmm?” Something was bothering me, and I needed to ask.

“What’s happening to your eyes? They keep turning gray, and then they turn back to green.” He stopped dancing and I felt him stiffen. “They remind me of that undead boy’s eyes.” There, I said it. I swallowed hard, hoping that I didn’t make him upset. There was no way I could deal with him flying off the handle at me again.

“I’m just not feeling well. I think I might be catching a cold or something.” I wasn’t sure if what he was saying was true. It was just curious to see a person’s eyes go from bright sparkling green, to gray dead eyes, then back again.

“Listen to me. I love you so much, Elaina. I can’t even tell you how much.” He quickly changed the subject.

“I love you, too, but…” I stopped. I wanted to ask more about his eyes, more about him, and more about his past.

“But what?”

I tried to find the right words. “I love the old Henry. I still see parts of him in here.” I put my hand on his chest.

“The new Henry is in the old Henry. I’m the same person. You’ve just never seen this side of me. I always kept it hidden, and took my aggression out at the gym.”

“I know. I’m just trying to get used to you wearing your bossy pants.” We both smiled. He leaned down and kissed me.

I missed him so much. I missed him touching me. He scooped me up and laid me down on the bed. He lay beside me, kissing and touching me like he used to. He knew I needed that tender side of him.

Things heated up at an unforeseen rate, and I never felt so close to him. Once we tore off each other’s clothing, we couldn’t get enough of touching one another. I wasn’t going to take another moment for granted with him. It could very well be the last time we could get that close to one another. I wanted to show him how much I loved him. I kissed every square inch of his body from head to toe, making sure to pause at all of his most sensitive places.

His breath hitched when I got to his pulsating thickness. I ran my tongue over him a few times, and he let out a guttural moan. He grabbed me and flipped me over on my back.

“Now it’s your turn,” he growled in my ear.

He began to assault my body with the same type of sensual kisses that I gave him. He started at my ear and slowly worked his way down to just above my waiting core. He kissed, nipped, and sucked on every part of me, dipping his tongue into my moist flesh. I threw a leg over his shoulder to grant him more access. Then I fisted my hands in his hair, holding him in place. I let go and slapped both hands over my mouth, trying to keep my moans stifled.

His cool breath tickled my super sensitive skin, causing me to shiver. As he started kissing his way back up my body, he left his hands to take over where his lips and tongue had been. I felt a strong pull deep inside as he began dipping his fingers in me. I moaned, enjoying his tender attention. He pushed my legs further apart with his knee, and he slid on top of me, teasing me with his tip. He was driving me insane. I needed him in the worst way.

After a few long minutes of me frantically grabbing at him and trying to direct him into me, he finally plunged into my desperate body. Our breathing was in sync.

My Henry felt so good, doing what he did best. Everything disappeared except the beautiful, broken man above me. I didn’t care about anything that was happening outside of that bedroom. I just wanted him to feel my love for him. I wrapped my arms under his, and gripped onto his shoulders as he worked me to the edge with precision.

I arched my spine, pressing my chest to his.

“Oh, love. You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck. I looked at him with great intensity, trying to read his emotional state.

“I want to be yours forever,” I whispered.

“You have me. All of me.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. I wrapped my legs around his hips as he pumped into me. He was perfectly set into me and we fit together as one. The thought of him hurting as he did made me want to love him more.

I took his face in my hands when he opened his eyes. They were still distant, but I could see he was into our moment. I kissed his jaw and his neck, then ran my tongue back up his throat, meeting his lips. He kissed me as I felt myself losing control.

“Henry…” I moaned. He began pushing me harder, rocking my hips with every thrust. His thickness ran deep, punching at my body’s inner limits.

“Oh, god, love.” His deep, sexy groan tore through my body. With a gentle touch, he ran his hand down my side and pulled up on my leg. I couldn’t hold out any longer.

I shattered beneath him. He let go of my leg and kissed me with passion, while he balanced his upper body in a push up position, not moving, but enjoying me writhing in pleasure beneath him. I could see his eyes grow wetter. I took his face in my hands again.

“Henry…what are you thinking about?”

“You. I love you so much. Without you…” He shook his head a little, trying to rid his mind of whatever horrible thoughts that were racing through it.

“Shhh… I love you, too, so very much.” He had never gotten emotional when we had been together. He closed his eyes as I wiped away the few tears that had trickled down his cheeks. Henry was worried, hurting, and probably scared about us and what was surrounding us.

He let out a couple long shaky breaths, trying to get control of his emotions before he started to take me again. He groaned as he continued his slow sensual assault. In minutes, he had me falling to pieces again.

He bit his lower lip and he pushed harder and faster into me. His eyes rolled and his jaw slacked. His body trembled as he tucked his head into my neck. His passion-filled moan rattled through me, and then his body went rigid. I grabbed his head and made him look at me.

“Henry, I love you. All of you.” His worried eyes locked with mine, but he couldn’t speak as his moment continued, on and on. Finally, he let out a shudder and collapsed, his body covering mine like a blanket. That was probably the most stellar love making I had ever experienced with him.

***

We snuggled together under the covers, as he ran his fingers up and down my arm. We laid there, not talking, but just enjoying each other’s presence. After a considerable amount of time of staring at him, I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

I drifted off to sleep, only to be woken by a nightmare. I sat there panting, sweating, and shaking all over. Henry had those gray, glazed eyes…the same eyes that I saw in the undead boy. Henry sat up when he heard me.

“Love? Love, what is it?” He reached out to me, and I pulled away.

I sprang out of bed and grabbed the sheet to wrap around my naked body. I saw my Sig on the dresser and grabbed it, pointing it at Henry’s head.

“Elaina...Elaina, love, please put the gun down. It’s me. Henry,” he pleaded with me, quietly.

“I can’t,” I whispered.

“Love, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

I swallowed hard. “You were one of them,” I whispered in a shaky voice.

“I was who?” Could he really be that dumb, or was he just lacking in the common sense department?

“Them! The undeads!” I shouted.

“Shhh! Quiet down!” He whispered through his teeth. “It was just a nightmare, love. I’m as normal as can be.” He started to get out of the bed.

“Stop.”

He held his hands up. “Okay, love. Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“Prove to me you are real.” My arm started to shake from the weight of the cool, heavy steel in my hand.

“I’m real. Right here, right now. I don’t know how you want me to prove it to you. Tell me how.”

“Get up slowly.” He did as he was told. He stood before me, naked, completely vulnerable, still with his hands raised in front of his chest, while I continued to aim the Sig at his head.

“I’m here. Now, what do you need me to do?” He swallowed hard.

“Show me your eyes.”

“Okay.” He looked around the moonlit room. “There’s a flashlight over on the night stand. Is it all right if I get it?” I nodded, still aiming the Sig at him, following him as he moved about. He picked it up and turned it on. The light was dim, but it was functioning enough. He walked over to me and shined the light toward his eyes.

They were gray, but not the gray, glazed eyes of the boy. I felt relief run through my body. I lowered the Sig to my side.

“Here.” He held out his hand. “Give me the gun,” he demanded with a gentle voice. I handed it to him, and he set it back down on the dresser. I stood in front of him, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.” I looked down at my feet.

“What happened?” He escorted me back to the bed.

“I had a nightmare. You were you, but you were partially them.” My voice was shaky. “Your eyes were glazed over like the undead boy’s.” He pulled me close to him and held me, his cool, naked body pressed against mine.

“It’s all right, love. It was just a dream,” he whispered over and over again, while he cradled me in his arms. He kissed the top of my head.

“I was so scared.” We sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Love, let’s not think about it anymore tonight. It scared you too much. Let’s try to get some more rest.” He pulled the blanket up and helped me get comfortable. “I’ll stay awake until you fall asleep.”

For some reason, that made me feel better. I felt like he was protecting me. I drifted off again, hoping that I didn’t have another nightmare.

***

I woke up, and Henry seemed to be sleeping peacefully for a change. I grabbed a bottle of water that was on the nightstand and headed to the master bathroom to clean up. I stood in the tub and poured the water all over me, slow and steady until the bottle was empty. It was so fucking cold that it woke me up instantly, standing every nerve at attention. Who needs caffeine when you can pour cold water all over your body? I was reminded of Henry’s chilly body against mine.

My mind went to the previous night’s love making. I closed my eyes, seeing him, feeling his loving touch, and remembering how emotional he was. I sighed, envisioning him moving deep inside me. I ran my hand down my chest to my hip.

Noises outside the bathroom window snapped me out of my slight erotic trance. While I towel dried myself, I looked out the window, trying to find the source. There were a few undeads staggering around in the street. I dressed in a flash and stormed out of the bathroom.

“Henry?” He was no longer in bed. “Henry?” I said louder as I headed down the hallway. Claire was standing in the kitchen, trying to ration food for all of us. “Claire, where’s Henry?” Claire looked at Sophie, who was helping Nick and Nate fold up their blankets. “Hello? I;m asking a fucking question here!” My patience had worn thin. “Answer me, damn it!” Everyone was staring at me. I wanted to throat punch everyone until they started talking.