Broken Road (13 page)

“Wait-this one’s still alive.” He heard someone say.
 

“What about . . .the others?”
 
Someone else said, obviously surveying what was left.

“What others?” The other voice replied grimly.

“Do you know him?” Riley could tell they were talking about him now.

“No, let’s patch him up as best we can and get back. We’ll let the other guys figure out the ID.”

That was the last thing he heard before the light began to dim and he was left in the darkness again.

He wasn’t dead. When he opened his eyes he knew he was back in the hospital. Riley could hear the sound of the machines and felt the tight pull from the tape keeping the IV in his arm.
 
The flickering lights from the neon bulbs above his bed were uncomfortable so he removed the pulse monitor from his finger and covered his eyes with his right arm. The removal immediately caused an alarm to go off on the heart monitor and within a few minutes a nurse came into his room.

“Now why did you go and do that for?” she asked reattaching the monitor to his index finger.

“The light is too bright.”
 

“That’s an easy fix.” She said turning off the lights over his bed. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really. My throat hurts.”

“That’ll be the tubes from having your stomach pumped.”She said matter-of-factly.
 

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital.”

“No, I mean which hospital?”

“The Meadows.” She replied and Riley’s heart almost stopped. He was in a
psychiatric
hospital.

“Why?”

“That may be something you’ll want to speak to your caseworker about.”

“My caseworker?”

“Yes. Someone has been assigned to your case.
 
They’ll have the information you need.”

“Do you know when they’ll be here?”

“Let’s see.” The nurse was taking a look at his file. “Louis is the one assigned to your case.
 
He should be along about 3 or so. That’s usually when he makes it up here.”

“What time is it now?”

“2:30 so he’ll be up in a little bit. In the meantime, you need to eat something. How about some broth?”

“Sure.” Riley agreed and tried to wrap his mind around what was happening.
 
A little while later he heard a knock on door and saw a man standing there holding a small stack of files. He was about 6’4, with long salt and pepper hair pulled back in a ponytail wearing a red dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a gray and red striped tie and a briefcase in his hand. He was older, maybe in his ,late fifties early sixties, wore glasses and sported a well groomed mustache and beard.
 
As he came closer Riley could clearly make out the Semper Fidelis Marine Corps motto tattooed on his left forearm.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” The man made his way over and stuck out a hand.

“My name’s Louis Montgomery.”

“Riley.”He replied shaking his hand. Montgomery had a strong grip.

“Yes, I know who you are. Do you mind if I sit?”
 

“No.”
 

“Good. I’m just going to pull up this chair and then we can talk.”

“The nurse said you’re my caseworker?”

“I guess.
 
Although, I prefer to think of myself as more of a helper.”

“A helper?”

“Sure. I’d like to help you get out of this place.”

“Why am I here?”Riley asked and Louis opened the first file on his lap.

“First off, VA’s full and there’s a waiting list a mile long, if not longer. So, there wasn’t any room at the inn- so to speak.”
 

“So they put me in a psych ward instead?” Riley knew his tone was defensive but Louis Montgomery remained calm and continued to look over the papers in the file. After what seemed ages he finally looked up, smiled at Riley and asked a question.

“Well, it says
 
here that you tried to kill yourself.
 
Is that true?”
 
Riley remained quiet. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say about what had happened. Louis waited and then he smiled.

“You don’t need to say anything right now. I know you need to be careful about what you say.” Louis pointed to his tattoo. “I was in the service too.”

“When?”

“Vietnam.”

“Why am I here?”

“You mean instead of the VA Hospital? As I explained, it’s full and not taking new patients right now. It’s a shame, but it’s the way it is right now.” Louis asked pulling out another set of papers.

“No, I mean the hospital back home.”

“They seem to think they weren’t equipped to provide you with the right level of care.”

“But I’m not crazy.”

“No one said you were.”

“So why am I
here
?”

“You’ve been through a lot. Places like this provide a myriad of services, you know.”

“You don’t understand, my grandfather’s in the hospital. He’s in critical condition. I need to get back.”

“I think that maybe if you spent a little time here. . .”

“I need to get back!” Riley was yelling now and trying to get up from the bed.

“Riley, you
can’t
go back.” Louis put a firm hand on his shoulder forcing him to lay back down.

“Why? What are you talking about? My grandfather. . .”

“Your grandfather passed away early this morning, Riley. I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re wrong.”

“His condition was very critical and his body just couldn’t mend. You weren’t doing that well yourself. It’s a miracle you’re even alive.” Riley lay in the bed stunned by the news. What was happening? This isn’t the way it was supposed to go. He was the one that was supposed to die so that his grandfather and everybody else didn’t have to deal with him anymore.
 

“Riley?” Louis nudged him.

“Why didn’t they tell me?”

“Who?”

“Pastor? Misty?” He said their names but they felt hollow.

“Are they immediate family?”
 

“No.” He said and almost choked on the word.

“They wouldn’t have been allowed. That’s why they sent me. But if you want I can call them.”

“No. That’s all right.” But it wasn’t and now it never would be.

“I wan’t you know that I’ll work with the hospital so you can make any necessary arrangements for your grandfather’s funeral.”

“Thanks.” It wouldn’t be necessary. He knew Pastor Langston would have everything taken care of. That’s just the way it was in Bess.

“How do I get out of here?”

“It’s not a prison, but there are a few hoops and some paperwork.”

“How soon?”

“I’ll talk to your doctor, but I suppose eating something and maybe attending one or two of the groups they offer would go a long way toward convincing them.”

“Groups?”

“Yeah, you go but you don’t have to talk. That’s okay.
 
Maybe that can come later.” Riley nodded thinking that the last thing he wanted to do was talk about what happened in the desert or what came after.

“Who else knows I’m here?”

“You mean besides the people you mentioned and the hospital staff involved in your transfer?”

“Sure.” He said although he knew full well that by now the entire town of Bess would be buzzing with the news of the accident and his suicide attempt. They probably knew about Misty and Brandon too.
 
He closed his eyes and tried to keep the tears away. He was hoping to find peace and instead he found his whole world gone the moment he opened his eyes.

“I don’t know. But if you’re worried about the news trucks parked out front I’m pretty sure they’re here to cover the ground breaking for the new wing they’re adding next year.”
 
Louis said casually.

Riley had forgotten about the media. It had been awhile since he’d been hounded or followed from place to place. In fact, if Louis hadn’t mentioned it would have been the very last thing to cross his mind.

“It’s hard coming back. I know. Maybe not the way you know it. But I have some idea.” Louis gingerly ran his hand across his tattoo. Riley made another attempt to get out of bed. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need any of it.

“What do you think you're doing?” Louis put a hand on him again. This time Riley shoved it off.
 

“I’m leaving. I don’t need to be here. I need to go home.”

“Riley, maybe you didn’t hear me but that’s not possible right now.”

“Why not? I feel fine. I’m certainly old enough to check myself out.”

“If this were a regular hospital that might be the case. But you’re here.”

“Why does that matter? You said yourself you were here to help me get out. So do it.”

Louis gave a hearty chuckle and shook his head. “Good to see you still have some life in there. After reading your files, I’ll admit I was worried.” Riley flinched.
 

“Why what’s in my file?”

“Well, I can’t discuss everything that’s in there because I’m not a doctor. I’m just your caseworker.”

“What’s in my file?” Riley demanded and stared at the older man. Louis smiled. Then he looked down at the pile of papers he had still in his lap.

“Why don’t I just mention the highlights. Those that are relevant to your request to leave.”

“Fine.”

“Well, we already established that you tried to kill yourself. Okay, I take that back. That’s off the record. But it has been suggested that maybe you don’t have the best judgement when it comes to taking medications which have not been prescribed to you. It’s also been suggested that you have a tendency to use your fists to resolve disagreements with friends, that you may be a bit firm when speaking to your fiancée, that you could use a refresher course in driving and that you could benefit from a 12 step program.”

“They’re saying I’m an alcoholic and a drug addict?” Riley was furious. “ Who said that? It’s not true!”
 

“So you don’t drink while on medication for your condition?”

“Why does everybody keep calling it a
condition
? I don’t have a condition!”

“You
didn’t
violently shake your fiancée when she called you out for drinking while on medication prescribed to you after you were in an accident?”

“Is that what she told you? That’s not what happened. That’s not the truth!”
 

“What? The shaking or the drinking?”

“It was cooking wine.” Riley admitted.

“So you
were
drinking.” Louis was jotting something down in his notes.

“Are you writing that down?” Louis gave him a nod. Riley couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Did you violently shake her?”

“No, I mean, I wouldn’t say it was violent.” He could barely get the words out.

“But you did shake her?”
Oh God, did he? Did he violently shake her?

“Dammit, I thought you were supposed to help me get out of here!”

“I am helping. Now, tell
 
me about the accident.”

“How is this helping?”

“Do you want out or not?”

“Why can’t I just get out on my own?”

“I’m not sure you’re ready to hear the answer to that just yet.”

“Just tell me.”

“While you were hospitalized no one was sure if you were going to make it. But you did. The problem is that no one thinks you’re well enough to be back out there on your own. Especially now that your grandfather’s gone. So he sent you here.”

“He? He
who
?”

“Your grandfather.”

“But-“ Riley had to choke down a sob, “he’s gone.”

“He had the papers drawn up by the county attorney just in case.”

“I don’t understand.”
 

“He made arrangements for them to be filed in case something happened to him and it came to this. To be honest, Riley, the poor man had enough reason to file before the accident. He just kept hoping and praying that things would change. But then the accident happened, you almost beat that Cole boy to death, you put your hands on your fiancée- scaring her pretty good- and to top it off you tried to kill yourself.”

Riley sat on his hospital bed feeling numb. He didn’t recognize the person who did all of those things.
Damn the war. Damn that road.
He wanted to die now more than ever.

“If I’d just died over there none of this would have happened.”

“Is that what you think?”

“Yes.” Riley felt the tears falling down his cheeks.

“Me too.” Louis said and Riley turned to him and stared. “ Surprised I’m agreeing with you, huh?” Riley nodded.

“Well, I do agree. It’s a fact. But, it’s also a fact that you
didn’t
die. Not then and not now. You ever stop to wonder why that is?”

“Yes.” Riley whispered through his tears.

“Me too. And that’s a fact. I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still there. I’m
still
asking.”
 

“But you don’t understand. It’s like they want me to be something I’m not.”

“
They
?”

“Misty. Brandon. My grandpa. The whole town.” Riley was wiping away the tears with his arm.

“What is it
they
want you to be? The hero they saw splashed across the front page of the newspapers and tv?”

“No.” Riley paused to wipe more tears away. “They want me to be
me.”

Brenda parked in front of the dilapidated farmhouse and sighed. She had driven almost a thousand miles only to find a house in ruins, overtaken by prairie grasses and weeds. The paint had almost completely peeled off the boards and most of the windows were broken. Pieces of the fence that used to surround the property were scattered everywhere. A large gnarled oak tree spiraled into the sky out front with an old tire swing hanging precariously on a thin branch.
 
There was even an outhouse off to the side of the house and a work shed too. She got out of the car and looked around.
 
She had made arrangements to meet Mr. Owen Samson the lawyer who had previously handled the estate. While she waited she decided to take a tour of her new living quarters. It was so much worse than she had imagined. But what else could she expect when the property had remained mostly vacant for almost 30 years? Shane had stopped spending summers here once his grandparents had passed away. He had been 7 or 8 years old. His own parents,who had him later in life, had died of illness shortly after he and Brenda were married. Neither one of them had lived long enough to see Callan or Taylor be born. It was sad, she thought, that Shane wouldn’t meet his grandchildren either.