Brooklyn Rockstar (Kendall Family #1) (19 page)

“I’ve put up with way too much of your shit over the years,” I say, shaking my head. “You boys need to learn a thing or two about respect. If you walk in on a half-naked woman, you get the fuck out of the room until she has a chance to cover up.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Allen says, shaking his head. “You act like we tried to attack her.”

Smirking, Connor folds his arms. “Are you saying that’s what you would’ve done? Come on, Uncle Charlie, we both know you’re full of shit. You of all people know that a hot piece of ass like that doesn’t mind showing off the goods. Congratulations, by the way. Looks like you found yourself one hell of a lay.”

On instinct, I start for him, then stop dead in my tracks. As much as I want to grab the little turd by his throat for talking about Evelyn that way, I remember with a wince that I’m the only father figure these boys have had in ten years and they’ve seen everything. They’ve seen me with groupies grinding on my lap back stage and know the kind of reputation I’ve built. Even if I had tried to hide the truth, they would’ve read about it on the web or seen clips of me with half-dressed women on TV. I probably inadvertently taught Connor to see women as nothing more than “a hot piece of ass.”

Instead of being a role model they could look up to, I’ve become this sleezeball who taught them women are disposable. Just like Danny taught
me
. And
our father
taught him
by abandoning Danny’s mother. The men in our family have a reputation with the opposite sex that’s far from noble.

Since meeting Evelyn, I’ve come to fully regret every one night stand and every hook-up I’ve ever had. Not just because it made me a bad influence on the boys, but because of Evelyn. If she knew the details of them all, she’d run like hell. I couldn’t even blame her. How did I let myself get to this point? I could blame Danny and the band’s success until I’m blue in the face, but the truth is I made all the choices that led me here.

“Like I said, you need to learn more about respect
,”
I say between clenched teeth. “I better not hear you talk about her or
any woman
like that again.”

Connor’s face is as white as a sheet when he nods. I suddenly realize I’m gripping his arm with all my strength. Hard enough to leave a bruise. Stomach churning, I let go and he stumbles back, eyes wide with surprise. Before now I’ve never lost my temper with the boys this way. There’s an uncomfortable strain hanging in the air between the three of us as we each try to process what just happened. What in the hell is wrong with me? Now that I’ve slept with Evelyn, my head’s all over the place.

“Come back early Tuesday morning,” I say, flexing my jaw. “I’ll take you for a ride on the boat before we leave. It’d be good for you to get to know Evelyn a little better. But if you call her a ‘hot piece of ass’ again, we’ll have a serious problem.”

“Sure thing, Uncle Charlie,” Allen replies obediently, grabbing his brother by the back of his shirt. “See ya then.”

Connor follows his brother, stopping to glare at me over his shoulder. He holds my gaze a moment too long before they’re gone, letting me know he’s not going to let what happened go anytime soon.

Hands stuffed in my pockets, I stare out at the ocean, a mountain of regret resting on my shoulders. I probably owe Katie a phone call, explaining why I hurt her son. It makes me sick that I might’ve left a mark on him. My nephews can be a serious pain in the ass but I love the hell out of them. If someone else had grabbed Connor that way, I would’ve laid their ass out on the floor.

With the exception of Evelyn, it’s starting to feel like my life is one big fuck-up. If my mom and grandmother knew the extent of my ugly side, the depths of my darkest secrets, they’d be ashamed. My career may be over all because I treated Gwen like shit the way Danny and I always did every other woman for as long as I can remember.

I don’t deserve to have loyal fans who are willing to pay anything to see me in concert or buy my album. Hell, I don’t deserve Evelyn even though letting her go isn’t an option at this point. Suddenly I can’t shake the bad feeling that she’ll learn the truth before too long and I’ll lose her for good.

I
n an obscure corner
of the high-end boutique my man waits for me, bulging arms crossed over his chest, baseball hat drawn so far down that his thick eyebrows are completely out of sight. I understand the need to stay incognito after running into the photographer yesterday, but there’s clearly something more going on in his head the way he’s pouting.

He didn’t have much to say after I came out of the shower to discover his nephews had left. I only hope he isn’t pissed that I didn’t run from the room when the two boys appeared out of nowhere. I’m pretty sure they each got a good eyeful before I pulled Charlie’s shirt down. Can’t say I’ve ever met a pair of teens more arrogant than those two the way they flirted even though their uncle was in the next room.

Either way, I’m irritated that his sour mood’s raining on our post-sex parade. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what it was like making love to him. Whenever I recall the tender way he touched me, the way his icy blue eyes drank me in like I was the most beautiful girl in the world, I break out in a full-body flush. He was so gentle, patient. And after all the things that came out of his mouth, the way he looked totally wrecked as he came, I wonder if it was something special to him too despite having slept with so many women. A part of me is convinced he loves me even if he didn’t say it.

Though I’m still a bit sore, I was hoping to talk him into another round later this afternoon. The way it’s going, I’m afraid he’ll insist on taking the couch tonight.

Charlie said he made reservations somewhere swanky for Monday night and wanted me to buy a cocktail dress. I’m excited to see what he has planned, but it also makes me nervous when I think how we’ll be exposed to the public and more paparazzi. I take my time browsing the racks of the boutique until I’m happy with a modestly priced black little number that’s backless and shows off every last one of my curves in the most flattering way. I splurge a little more on killer heels with red souls that may be the sexiest pair of shoes I’ve ever laid eyes on. Imagining Charlie taking me in the shoes and nothing else sends delightful shivers down my spine, making spending the extra cash totally worth it.

My spirits come crashing down the minute I march up to a sour-faced Charlie. Handing him what’s left of the hundred dollar bills he gave me, I offer a thankful smile. “Sorry, this place has a lot of beautiful things to choose from. I tried to make it fast.”

He hardly moves a muscle as he slips the money into his pocket while staring at the front entrance. My stomach flips over itself, wondering if I did something else to make him mad. In the past few days we’ve gotten to know every inch of each other’s bodies, and I’d like to think we know a lot about each other’s personalities by now as well. Yet for some reason, I’m having a hard time reading him.

“This was your idea,” I remind him in a playful tone, nudging him in the side. “And I insist on paying you back eventually. For the dress
and
everything Katie picked out when she took me shopping. My dad would kill me if he knew I was taking hand-outs.”

Angry blue eyes flicker my way. “You’re
not
paying me back.” I’m shivering from his dark tone as he takes my purchases from me. “Let’s go,” he demands. With his free hand he leads me out of the store, not slowing once we’ve hit the sidewalk.

We aren’t far when his phone buzzes inside his pocket. “I have to take this,” he grumbles, releasing my hand and stepping away. Not only is his face tense, but his body language is unusually stiff as he listens intently on his phone, my garment bag and shoe box slung over one broad shoulder.

I sit on a white bench and people-watch, patiently waiting as Charlie finishes up his conversation. So much for our romantic weekend. I’m already beginning to stress the way it is, wondering how far I’m willing to let this go before I break the news to my family. A sadistic part of me wants to rub the fact that I broke free of their clutches in the twins’ faces.

Finally, I hear Charlie end the call as he’s heading back my way. Despite being unable to see his eyes behind designer sunglasses, I can tell they’re dragging up and down the colorful maxi dress from my shopping trip with Katie. My core warms with the idea of him stripping the dress off my body.

When his lips bend with a tiny grin, I exhale a small sigh of relief. I’m used to the type of guy who can’t let something go after it pissed him off. My brother James always takes it out on a punching bag after an argument. Maybe Charlie is simply in need of the same to let his aggression out.

“Everything okay?” I ask. I stand to set a hand on his chest and offer a small smile.

“Everything’s golden.” His mouth meets mine for a long kiss that doesn’t hold back. We’re both short of breath when he draws away. “I sent some ideas for the record to my manager this morning, and he said the label’s considering signing me back on.”

“Really?” I search his beautiful eyes, my belly filling with a confusing mixture of jealousy and pride. If he tours with this new album, how long will he be gone before I get to see him again? Knowing he’d be in a stadium filled with screaming women doesn’t settle well with me, either.

Plastering on a fake smile, I kiss his cheek. “That’s awesome, babe!”

His lips bend with a sexy smirk. “I won’t get too excited until he shows me something in writing.”

“I’m happy to see you smiling again. I was worried you were still mad about your nephews.”

“They were total pricks to you,” he answers, confirming my suspicions. His hand reclaims mine from his chest and a deep-set scowl returns. “That shit’s not okay with me.”

“I get it, but staying mad about something in the past that you can’t change is pointless. All you’re doing is ruining what little time we have left together this weekend.” Standing on my tip toes, I brush my lips over his. “And by now I can say with certainty that there’s much more to Charlie Walker than a hot body and surly complex.”

His brows shoot up and a small smirk cracks his scowl. “You think I have a hot body?”

“Don’t you dare look at me like that,” I tease, shaking my head. “I’m sure you hear it on a daily basis. If not, you aren’t spending enough time online.”

With my comment, his surly mood makes another fast appearance. “Do me a favor,” he says, flexing his jaw. “Don’t read any of that shit they post on the internet or tabloids. If you have any questions about me or something I’ve done, ask. Most of what they write is either bullshit or a twisted version of the truth. To them it’s all about sales and better ratings.”

“What about the two minors in Cabo?” I blurt. The question has left my mouth before I can thoroughly think it through. It continues to hang in the air between us like a living thing, rearing its ugly head and gnashing its teeth. “Was that bullshit or a twisted version of the truth?”

Drawing in a deep breath, Charlie’s icy blue eyes flinch. “A little of both. They were only a year younger than me, but I was eighteen so the press was all over the underage part. Danny’s the one that convinced them to come back to his room—they were both willing participants, I swear. The four of us drank tequila all night and I kissed one of them. I blacked out at some point and when I woke the next morning, I was alone in his bed with the two girls.”

I twist a strand of my loose hair around my finger, once again sickened by the thought of Charlie with two naked women. What if I’m not enough for him? What if he becomes bored and wants someone willing to invite another woman into his bed?

“Is that your thing?” I ask with unease rising in my gut. “Two girls together?”

“No.
I don’t even know for sure if I had sex with either one of them. They took pictures while I was passed out.” He rubs at a spot on the back of his neck. “That was
six years
ago. That’s not who I am anymore.”

Wrapping one arm around my waist, he brings me closer until our noses are nearly touching. The severity passing through his gaze sparks something inside of me. “I told you before I've done things I’m not proud of. I’ll answer any questions you have, but I can’t promise you’ll look at me the same after you’ve heard everything. I need you to get past the fact that I’ve made some brutal mistakes, baby. I’m hoping you’ll focus on how I plan to treat you like you’re the only woman in the world. Because as far as I can tell, you're the only one worthy of my devotion.”

My heart soars with his declaration despite the questions milling around in my brain. How ‘brutal’ are his mistakes? Why does he suddenly seem afraid that he’ll lose me?

“I can deal with mistakes,” I admit in a quiet voice. “I’m not perfect either. I did some shit when my mom was terminal that I’ll never be able to take back.” I search his beautiful face before running my fingers over his thick lips. “I just don’t know that I could deal with one of them coming between us. What if someone comes forward and claims they’re pregnant with your baby?”

The mere idea of him having a child with someone else sends a wave of sickness crashing into my stomach. What was I thinking, sleeping with someone who probably couldn’t tell me how many other women he’s been with?

Shame flickers through Charlie’s expression, almost making me sorry for saying something. “I told you I was always careful. I can’t promise you there won't be any psychos coming out of the woodwork, making bogus claims anyway. I’ve learned that’s something that comes with being famous.”

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, though I’m not completely sure what I’m apologizing for. The idea of thousands of women who would kill to have a piece of Charlie Walker is hard enough to swallow. How would I feel if he turned out to be wrong and someone can prove he’s a father?

“I don’t ever want to hurt you,” he tells me, reaching for my hand and pulling me close. His nose brushes alongside mine. Even though it’s an innocent gesture, my skin lights on fire and I warm down below. I lean into his touch, wanting more.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me, baby,” he tells me with a sexy little smirk. “When we go back to Brooklyn, I want you to move into my place.”

All at once my chest deflates with a painful burn. Holy hell. This is all happening too fast. I’ve lived with Sharlo for less than a month and still have to tell my family that I’m dating someone famous. I shuffle back, dropping his hand. “We don’t have to be in such a hurry. Maybe it’s better if we take things one day at a time.”

His thick eyebrows draw down in another dizzying mood swing. “That’s not good enough. I need more than one day at a time.”

“This isn’t just about you!” I snap, spreading my arms out at my sides. “I have my own shit to deal with!”

Charlie glances around nervously and switches the garment bag to his other side. “Let’s get out of here before someone sees us.”

“You’re right!” I agree, laughing bitterly. “God forbid someone sees the famous rockstar getting yelled at by his new lay of the week!”

He charges at me so quickly that I don’t have time to react. Eyes hard, his fingers clamp around my wrist until he has my full attention. “Don’t you dare say anything like that again. You mean more to me than you can possibly understand.”

Releasing me, he turns in the direction of the beach house, walking at a fast clip with his head hung low and one hand shoved into his pocket. Ashamed that I stooped so low, I hurry behind, being careful not to fully catch up.

The way things are going, I’m starting to think I should’ve held off longer to have sex with him. I don’t know much about Charlie’s rockstar lifestyle, and I haven’t given it a lot of thought. How will I deal with women constantly pawing him and saying raunchy things? How can I be expected to sit at home while Charlie’s with hot women who paid to meet him backstage?

Things remain tense once we’re back at his house. I change into my swimming suit and grab my floppy hat, intending to soak in some rays so the afternoon isn’t a total loss. When I come out of the bedroom, Charlie’s waiting for me in the kitchen, black acoustic guitar in hand. There’s regret heavy in his expression, and he looks defeated.

“We’re taking the boat for a cruise,” he tells me.

“Super,” I answer, passing him on my way to the patio.

Neither of us says a single word as we take off for the yacht club, side-by-side without touching. I watch from a bench in the back of the boat as he readies for launch by himself. The water’s quiet, which surprises me considering it’s the weekend. People must either be on their way back to the city or they’re put off by the dark clouds looming in the sky. I think the ominous weather’s perfectly fitting for the mood I’m in.

I try not to stare when Charlie takes charge behind the yacht’s wheel, the muscles in his chest bending and flexing with every little movement. Damn him for looking so irresistible.

Once we’re several miles out in a secluded area beyond a tree-covered peninsula, Charlie releases the anchor. Then he retrieves the guitar from a cubby before settling on the bench across from me.

My heart skips happily when I realize I’m about to get my own private show. I haven’t heard him sing since we started hanging out other than one time at Leona’s when he quietly sang along to Soundgarden on the radio.

Icy blue eyes draw up to lock with mine and I realize I’m doomed. There’s no way I can stay mad at him when he’s looking at me that way. He’s so filled with love that I can feel it in my gut, embracing me like it’s a living thing. So why can’t he just say it already?

A merciless smile presses to his lips as his fingers begin to strum a beautiful, light tune in a melody I’ve never heard before. Finally his lips open, releasing a deliciously low note, reminiscent of the way he growled my name when buried inside of me.

My head’s floating in the clouds as he sings about soul mates and second chances and never wanting to let go. It’s beautiful and slow, overflowing with emotion. The song’s almost as enchanting as the man sitting in front of me, singing from his heart. Chills erupt beneath my skin, dancing up and down my spine.

By the time he’s done singing, my eyes are stinging with tears. My man is going to burn through the charts with hits like this and I’ll be nothing more than a distant memory of some chick he once slept with.