Burning Ember (69 page)

Because the first thing I see is the baby blue and white alphabet block wall, and the tree with a door in the trunk, and branches that are shelved with kid’s books. There’s also a moon light over a white crib with a familiar blue bedding. Throughout the room I see it all, the dresser, rocking chair, changing table, and bassinet—all things I’ve picked out in catalogs for our baby. Things he told me he would buy, and have shipped to our house a little closer to my due date.

“Mav?”

His arms circle me. His hands rest on my belly, which isn’t very big for me being six and a half months along, but it’s growing day by day. “Do you still love it?” he asks. I open my mouth a couple of times and then close it. “Because it’s yours and mine and Will’s.”

Shocked speechless, my eyes burn with tears as they run over every item. The sailboats and the stuffed animals, the stocked shelf dresser and photo frames waiting to be filled.

“You weren’t really heading to the clubhouse everyday were you?”

He chuckles and I feel him smile as his lips press behind my ear. “Nope.”

“And Will’s already been here. Seen this?”

“Yes, I had an important question to ask her. She also picked out what color of paint she wanted in her room and her bedding and things. And then we went shoppin’ for a playset for the backyard.”

“Mav.”

‘C’mere, there’s more. Will!” he calls out. “It’s time.” He takes my hand and leads me downstairs. Will runs in front of us. He takes me into the kitchen, which doesn’t look like any home I’ve ever actually been inside. It has the same cherry-color cabinets, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, and hardwood floors. The island in the middle runs the length of the kitchen.

“Will I be cooking for an army?”

He flashes a smile. Then he lifts his chin and motions for me to look behind me. Will is standing in front of the fridge, her back is to me. She’s fixing a piece of paper. But what has me moving closer is there’s artwork covering the whole fridge. She turns and stands aside so I can inspect them.

“Did you do these?”

“Yes,” she beams and looks behind me to Mav.

“Wow. These are really good, Will. Amazing! How did you . . .” I look back at Mav. The artwork on the fridge has shading, and minute details. Some are with crayon, while others are with colored pencils. I compare it to the artwork I put in the scrapbook that was stolen from me months and months ago. The difference is miles apart.

Mav is leaning on the counter watching us with a grin. He shrugs. “We work well together. And occasionally, she listens to me.”

My throat thickens with all the things I want to say to him.
Thank you. I love you. You’re going to be the best father.

“Can we show her the garden now?” Will pleads and pulls on my fingers, trying to lead me out a side door.

“Yeah.” Mav follows.

Will drags me along and we walk outside. The walkway is a red cement with a swirl design, and the farther we walk the more I’m surrounded by colorful petals from roses, begonias, daisy’s and a bunch of flowers I can’t name. There’s also greenery everywhere I look. And the scent of it all brings back memories of home.

“Sit right here.” She points to a cute yellow rocking bench big enough for two. “You can see them all better from here.”

Mav steps up beside her. He’s dressed in navy dress pants and a light blue collared shirt.

When Will stands next to him in her baby blue dress, the nervous excitement I felt on the drive over returns. My stomach dips and weaves and a heady feeling of happiness fills my chest.

Then Will tugs on Mav’s pocket and whispers loudly, “You have to get on your knees.”

Mav pulls something from his pocket. He chuckles and looking down at her, says, “I was getting to that part.”

His eyes shift to mine, and as he takes my hand from my lap, he kneels down on one knee.

“Hey, Doll.”

Two simple words and my world spins and my heart races faster.

Breathe, Em. Breathe.

“I’ve known for a while now that if you gave me the chance, I would share every one of your tomorrows with you. I knew, because when I was in a dark place you were the only thing that brought color and light into my life. The only thing that made me want to change and be a better man than the one I’d become.

“I’ve had this ring for months, since Christmas, but I’m glad I waited to give it to you. I realize now, I needed to do this right. I needed to wait and prove to you that you could trust me again. With your heart. With your life. With Will and with the life of your child. My child.

“I know to love someone fully, you have to trust them. I broke the trust you offered me before, and I almost lost you because of it. I promised myself I would earn it again and I think I’ve finally done that.

“I also needed Will’s approval.”

I look to Will and she’s staring at Mav, her puppy brown eyes full of admiration. Her eyes flicker to mine and she holds out her hand, showing me a little ring on her pinky with her birthstone, an amethyst. It’s tiny and fits her little finger perfectly.

“Because when I ask you to marry me, I’m not only askin’ you to be mine forever in every way that matters, but I’m also askin’ you to let me be a father to Willow and a father to”—he lays his other hand on my stomach—“this baby boy who I can’t wait to meet.”

I hastily wipe at the tears flowing down my face. And when he smiles, I smile in return. “I want to be your rock, Em. Your provider, your protector, your friend, and your lover. The angel you need at your side and the Luce you need in your bed. I’m askin’ you to let me take care of you, and that means trusting me to do so. You sacrificed so much for your family, and now it’s my turn to sacrifice for mine. That means if you want to go to college then go to college. If you want to stay home and be a mom, then that’s what you get to do. But only do what you love, baby, and what makes you happy. And let me worry about the rest.”

For a long time he simply stares at me and smiles.

“Doll?”

“Luce.”

He smirks and brushes my hair from my face. He pecks my lips, and whispers against them, “Nah, Doll. It’s Mav askin’ you to marry him.” A coy smile spreads over his face as he draws back. He holds up a ring. “A white-gold band, because light is what you brought into my life, a red diamond, because you were all I could see, you and your red hair when my world was so gray.”

Tears trek down my cheeks and drip from my chin. I sweep them away, but more take their place.

Mav helps me and once I have them back under control, he continues, “With all that in mind, baby, will you, please, marry me in front of God and all of our family and friends? Will you be mine for however long this life lasts us?”

I let my eyes roam over this unbelievable man, who I could never deny even from the start. He is the perfect mix of light and dark, and he’s mine. When I look in his eyes, I know I’m his, and when he holds me, I know I’m home. He is
my perfect.
And yes, dammit, I’m going to hold onto him, fight to keep him, for as long as there’s a breath left in me.

Because I want him in every one of my tomorrows too.

“
Yes. There is no one else in this world I’d rather spend my tomorrows with.”

Words are beautiful.

I wish I always had the right ones to tell you the story of my heart, but these are the ones I have.

I Believe ~ Christina Perri

Lips of an Angel ~ Hinder

I Hate Everything About You ~ Three Days Grace

Words As Weapons ~ Christina Perri

One Last Breath ~ Creed

Restless Sinner ~ Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Scars ~ Papa Roach

Say It Ain’t So ~ Mozella

Last Resort ~ Papa Roach

Wicked Game ~ Stone Sour

It’s Not Over ~ Daughtry

Cold ~ Crossfade

Not Meant to Be ~ Theory of a Deadman

Nothing Else Matters ~ Lissie

So Far Away ~ Staind

Dust to Dust ~ The Civil Wars

Ain’t No Easy Way ~ Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Bread & Butter ~ Hugo

Hemorrahage ~ Fuel

Addicted ~ Saving Abel

Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked ~ Cage the Elephant

Thickness ~ The Black Keys

Iris ~ The Goo Goo Dolls

Sympathy for the Devil’s Little Helper ~ Viva Viva

Broken ~ Seether

Give Me a Sign ~ Breaking Benjamin

Love is My Religion ~ Franky Perez & The Forest Rangers

Headstrong ~ Trapt

One and Only ~ Joshua Radin

Wow! It blows me away that I’m even writing this right now. This was quite a long and difficult journey, but thankfully, I didn’t go through it alone. So bear with me, I have a lot of people to thank.

First, I want to thank my SS. My sexy husband. You are my rock, babe. You get me like nobody else does. For two years you’ve been patient, supportive, and have played Mr. Mom more than your fair share. Thank you for giving me the time to write. Thank you for always bringing me a little somethin’ somethin’ to keep me going. You may never read this book, but you contributed to this endeavor is so many other ways. I love you madly.

To my kids-You three are my world, and without you, it wouldn’t spin like it should. So thank you for being patient. Thank you for loving this crazy obsessed mom of yours. And thank you for being who you are. XO

Tea-Holy shit girl, you are . . . you are seriously my biggest cheerleader. If I could, I would rent a plane and run a banner in the sky to tell you how awesome you are, and how much I love and appreciate everything you’ve done to encourage me and inspire me along the way. It sucks big cojones (yep totally Googled how to spell that) that we live so damn far away. But I swear, one day we will meet. Well, we must meet if for no other reason than to plan to our kidnapping scheme. Marco (Mav), Joseph (Edge), and Julian (Dozer), I’m just going to apologize now and get it over with. Don’t worry people, we will let them go. Eventually. Hahaha . . . no really, in all honestly, I am so glad I stalked you and begged you to be my friend. Your images made me see that this thing I was devoting so much time to could be amazing. Even when those images were sometimes only for my inspiration you still sent them my way and lit up so many of my days. Who does that? You do! Because you’re the bees knees. You made me laugh and drool and kicked me in the butt when I needed it. You also gave me some wonderful ideas on how to torture my villains. And I’ll have to use some of those on Davis when the HOCs find him. From the bottom of my heart . . . I love your guts, woman. <3<3<3

Mom, Lesha, Kathie, Tracy, and Kristine-You all listened to me prattle on about my book endlessly. You have always shown me unwavering support. Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement. I know this is not really your thing, but you listened, laughed, and patted me on the back anyway. Thank you. <3<3

Briarpatch girls! Lena, Tea, Irish, CJ, Franci, Mary, Brandy, Kathie, Katie, Vanessa, Chris, and Andrea-My fellow HOC lovers and beta readers-I am so damn lucky to have you as friends and I appreciate all of the valuable feedback you gave me on this manuscript. Thank you so much for helping me make this book what it is. Thank you for sharing my posts, letting me bounce ideas off you, and for drooling with me over the hot pics Tea supplies for our little group.

Irish & CJ-You inspire me to no end. Irish, when I grow up I want to be like you, haha. No really, I do. I’m amazed by your dedication, and by how tenacious you are. CJ- I love your always positive, free spirit and your kind heart. I’m so happy to call you both my friends. Our little chats and retreats pushed me to finish, and I’m so thankful for those.<3

Nina-I think I asked you a million questions. I was terrified you (a successful and busy author) would turn me away or let my PM drift into internet space. But every time you responded and were more helpful than I could have imagined you’d be. Thank you for sharing what you know. I appreciate your help so much. I will definitely pay it forward.

URWA, and all the authors there that helped me along the way-Thank you.

Clancy, Joy, Lena, Tea, and Catherine-Thank you for making me dig deeper.

BOU, NT, CT, AST, CH, TD, AB, SR, and the rest of my CRAR friends-We live in a place where writing romance and talking about sexy things isn’t always acceptable, but I trusted you with the truth and you accepted me. That means the world to me. Thank you for your support, having an open mind(: