Burning Ember (9 page)

Now it’s come down to one man, one biker, banishing me and damning me to hell.

Maybe Mav is the prince of darkness after all.

MAVERICK

There’s no doubt in my mind that seeing this new girl on a daily basis will fillet my wounds wide open.

The thought makes me desperate. Makes me crazy and outraged. So I spend the next half hour trying to convince Dozer why keeping this girl around is a bad fucking idea.

He won’t listen though.

Finally, I say, “Listen to me. Bitches like that turn on you on a fuckin’ dime. It’s not what
we
need. This’d be the perfect fuckin’ time for the Greenbacks to make a move. They wanna know which way we’re gonna sway. And this girl all of a sudden turns up out of nowhere. A virgin served up on a fuckin’ platter. What if the vote sways to a no, and they find out that we’re planning to cut ties? What do you think they’re gonna do? I’ll tell you what they’re gonna do. They’re gonna hit us where it hurts and when we’re not ready. For two more weeks, we need to lie low. Keep them in the dark and hold ’em off.”

He nods and tension drains out of my shoulders as relief floods through me. “Agreed. But I’m not sending Pumpkin away. I don’t believe she’s a threat.”

I grimace. “Pumpkin?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “Look, I’ll make sure she’s with someone at all times. And if she leaves the clubhouse, she’s got someone on her. She won’t have access to a phone. I’ll watch her until the party. After, we can decide if she stays or goes.”

I open my mouth but he cuts me off.

“Told you, we’ll watch her and we will. I’m givin’ you my word. That should be enough. Otherwise, you’re tellin’ me you don’t trust me. I’ve been a member of this club since I was six fuckin’ teen. This club was supposed to be
my
legacy. You really think I’d let anyone fuck it over? Hurt us? Give me some fuckin’ respect. I’ve earned it, whether I’m your VP or not.”

I sigh out, “You’re makin’ a mistake, brother.”

“Yeah? And you need to work out your shit. You’ve been a miserable asshole since Edge got tossed in. It’s gettin’ fuckin’ old, man. I get that what Dana did, goin’ to Davis like she did, and then leavin’ tore you up and spit you out. You took a gamble on a girl and it turned to shit. But fuck, man. It’s been half a goddamn decade. Even Edge is doin’ better than you and he’s been locked in an box.”

Pain slices through my chest. Dozer doesn’t know that every time he says her name, it’s like he’s stabbing me in the heart with a scalding poker. And bringing that girl in here, bringing this shit up, it’s
killing
me. Dana didn’t just steal five years. She took so much more than that. She stole my whole fucking future and destroyed the part of me that wanted something out of this life.

He pulls in a deep breath. “It’s time, brother. Time to get the fuck over her. Time to let that shit go.”

There is no moving on. There’s only living and I’ve been trying to do that. I sleep. I eat. I breathe. And do what the club needs me to do.

I shake my head and sink down into my chair. Letting out a pent up breath, I say, “We don’t even know a goddamn thing about her.”

Dozer opens the door. “What in the fuck do you need to know? We didn’t know shit about the other clubpieces, or the hang-arounds either, but Cap didn’t give a shit. And neither did you, because they weren’t homeless or redheads. Don’t fuckin’ deny it. All I’m askin’ is you give her a chance. That you trust me. For twelve damn days, brother. Just until the party. She’ll be watched at all times. She’ll cook and clean and earn her keep.”

He steps into the hall but doesn’t walk away. “You want to make things right with Edge? Start with this girl. Show him that we set her aside for him. We’ll throw him a huge party. Get all the chapters up here. Show everyone we stand united behind my cousin. That we want him holdin’ the gavel and leadin’ us.”

The doors open, everyone can hear us. It’s not the first time we’ve gone the rounds. But it’s not something we do often either. He’s a friend. A brother. And I love him as if we shared the same blood. But right now? I hate his ass. I won’t be able to focus for shit while she’s here.

Dozer’s right about one more thing though. I do trust him. He’d never knowingly hurt the club. The gavel, by all rights, is his even if he doesn’t want it. And if I push this further, I’ll be questioning his judgment and loyalty, which would be wrong on so many levels.

Seconds of silence pass.

“Fine. But I better not see her anywhere inside this clubhouse alone. I do, I’ll fuckin’ drag her out by her hair myself. Feel me? And she better stay clean. I find fresh tracks on her . . . or even suspect she’s high—”

Dozer shakes his head once. “I’ve already warned her.”

“Better warn the boys no one touches her until the party.”
What the fuck, Mav?
Where in the hell did that come from? “If she’s for Edge, right?”

Dozer’s right eyebrow lifts.

“Anyone fucks her, she’s useless to us.” I turn slightly so he can’t see my face. I busy myself by pulling out a drawer and grabbing a new pencil. “It happens, she’s gone.”

“Riiight,” Dozer replies, and draws the word out. I can feel his scrutinizing gaze boring into me. “As far as anyone’s concerned, she’ll be the clubhouse mouse. Cook. Clean. Whatever needs doin’.”

I glance up and nod. “Fine.”

He gives me one last, hard look then leaves.

After walking to the door, I slam it and rub my hands over my head. “Fuucck.” I’m gonna have to see this chick every goddamn day. And pretend it doesn’t gut me each and every time.

Even amongst wolves, you’ll find friends. Though a wolf is still a wolf and his smile will always have fangs.

EMBER

Dozer plops down on the stool to my left. He exhales a heavy breath. Behind us, a door slams. Mav’s door. The sound resonates through the room and flames my humiliation.

Dozer shakes his head. “Shit. Babe, I’m sorry. I knew it was gonna be brutal, but that . . . that was . . . fuck. I don’t know what that was. I’m sorry.” He rubs the back of his neck. “It’s not you. He’s lookin’ out for the club. And there’s some shit that went down that’s cloudin’ his judgment. Not your problem, I know. But it’s why he’s givin’ you such a hard time.”

Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t sting.
I push the negative thoughts down though. Sighing, I say, “You don’t have to explain.”

“You’re gonna figure out sooner or later things run differently here. The club comes first, always. Our brothers. Letting in someone new is always a risk. I usually wouldn’t go up against a brother for a woman, but Goose spoke up for you. So did his old lady. That means somethin’. If they see somethin’ good in ya then I’m willing to give you a chance. But you gotta know if you fuck up”—he tilts his head and stares into my eyes—“it looks bad on anyone that spoke up for you, including me, now. So do me a favor, babe, don’t fuck up, yeah?”

I nod and rub my hands on my shorts. “I won’t.”

I’m in a no win situation here. If I don’t give Davis what he wants, I’ll be hurting myself and my chances at freedom. If I snitch on the club, again I’ll be putting myself in danger and screwing over Lil’ Bird, Goose, Dozer, and the club.

Lily and Goose wander into the room. Lily gives me a weak smile and a quick hug but then heads further down the bar. Goose stops behind Dozer and rests his hand on Dozer’s shoulder. “I appreciate it, man. But I think maybe now I owe you one after that.”

Dozer shakes his head and lets out a long breath. “It needed to happen. Was just a matter of time.”

Goose peeks down the bar at Lily talking to Rigor. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my woman so pissed off before. Had to take her to our room before she stormed in there and told Mav off. Don’t know why, but she really likes you, Pumpkin. Wants you here.”

My heart swells a little.

“Guess the old ladies are really givin’ her hell, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess. Maybe all of them except Bethany and Kendra,” Goose answers.

Dozer grunts then waves Rigor down.

Rigor saunters over. He grabs two beers, puts them in front of Goose and Dozer, and then rests his hands on the bar. “What’s up?”

“Lil’ still get a razz of shit from the old ladies? You two are all buddy, buddy. She tell you anything?” Dozer asks.

Rigor glances warily at Goose and then looks back to Dozer. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he’s choosing his words wisely. “She’s gettin’ her fair share. Maybe a bit more than that. Nothin’ she can’t handle though. You step in. It’s gonna get worse, especially since a brunt of it’s comin’ from Nick.”

Goose and Dozer share a look. “Let it ride out? She did the same thing with Kendra. But they’re tight now. Probably just testin’ her,” is Dozer’s response. Goose gives a curt nod.

The guys talk amongst themselves for a minute and I listen while also looking around the club and taking in my new surroundings. Until something Goose says brings my focus back to the conversation.

“So . . . she’s gonna be our little house mouse until the party?”

Lily comes over. She’s been speaking with one of the other women. She pats my arm and takes the seat beside me.

Dozer takes a pull on his beer. “Yeah. Best I could do.” To me he says, “That means you gotta cook, clean, shit like that, babe. And I’ll spread the word you’re hands off until the party. Do your part though, and don’t put yourself in a bad situation. Don’t go roamin’ around alone. One of us, me, Goose, Lil’, or even Rigor here needs to be with you at all times.”

Rigor nods, but as he walks away he mutters, “Like I don’t got enough trouble tryin’ to keep my eyes on Lil’.”

Goose chuckles under his breath. “Part of the job, man,” he hollers down to Rigor, who flips him off good-naturedly. Then he turns back to us. “What about at night?”

Dozer shrugs. “She can sleep in my bed.”

Smirking and palming his goatee as if in deep thought, Goose replies, “Yeah? Thought she was hands off?”

“Shut up, fucker. Don’t mean nothin’. Just don’t trust any of these cocksuckers to leave her alone. She can have my bed. And I’ll crash in one of the spares.”

Awkward silence fills the space between the two bikers, Lily, and me.

Dozer turns toward me. “Umm . . . you got a problem with the other thing? Being Edge’s little gift at the party?”

My gut clenches.

I’ll be breaking my promise to myself. The one about loving the next person I have sex with, since I didn’t get to do it the first time around. But what choice do I have? Beggars can’t be choosers. Right? At least that’s what my mom used to say. Seems to be the theme of my life.

I know I can distance myself from the act. Escape mentally, if I have to. I straighten in my chair. “As long as someone’s not hurting me,”
or trying to tie me up
, “I’m fine with showing my appreciation to the club for letting me stay.”

“You’re gonna have to prove yourself, babe. Mav’s not gonna let up where you’re concerned. I’m sure he’ll be watchin’ and waitin’ for you to fuck up.”

I huff. Part laugh, part sigh. “He can watch and wait. But it’s going to get pretty boring pretty fast.”

Dozer laughs, “I doubt that, pretty girl.” He motions over me. “That all you got to your name.” He says it more like a statement than a question. At my nod, he leans forward and looks past me to Lily. “Any of these girls got clothes that will fit her?”

Lily taps her fingers on the bar top. “Don’t know. Maybe. The closest to her size is Bethany—”

Dozer shakes his head. “No, find somethin’ here from one of the girls even if it’s a little big. Tomorrow you can go into town and pick out some stuff for her.”

Standing, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet.

“No.” I stop him by putting my hand on his. “You’ve already spoken up for me. I’m not going to take a handout too. If there’s a washer around here, I’ll just wash what I have on and . . .” It’s not until I really think about it that I can see how one set of clothes around here might be problematic. What am I going to wear while my stuff’s in the wash? Maybe Lily could loan me something. “Maybe there’s some way I can earn some cash, or somewhere I can work within walking distance after I do the jobs you need me to do here.”

“You’re gonna need some things for a bit to get you by.” He hands the money to Lily. “Get her what she needs.”