Burnt (5 page)

Lexi’s mother should not be the dirty whore I’m married to. The one that doesn’t tuck her kid in. Doesn’t read to her, or kiss her goodnight. Shit. I’m lucky if the bitch even washes my daughters’ clothes. She’s complained often enough that she doesn’t want her own clothes getting ruined because Lexi’s clothes dirty hers up in the machine. No. Lexi’s mom should have been Kendall. Realising that was like a full force kick to the chest by a thousand pound bull.

Of course Kendall was respectful enough to ask my fiancée, yeah I’m a dumb motherfucker, (the bitch demanded I make an honest woman out of her if she was having my kid), if she could hold our little one. The affect her sweet voice had on me saying ‘your’ little one was huge. It killed. Literally breaking another piece of my heart off in the process. I didn’t think I had more of it to lose, but obviously I was wrong, and I did.

The Demon Bitch, or DB for short, that’s what all the brothers’ call her anyway, cottoned on to the fact she could turn the knife a little more for Kendall and played it up big time. I don’t know what her problem is with Kendall. In the beginning I thought it was cute that Isabella wanted to spend all her time with me. I didn’t recognise the manipulation, or the hateful way she pushed Kendall into the background. Later however, I recognised it for what it was. Isabella was a self-centred bitch that wanted all my attention on her, and only her. Kendall was a roadblock that she summarily drove over and crushed.

Isabella smiles a cruel smirk that promises all kinds of shit. She answers Kendall before I have the chance.

“Sure Kenna.”

Grunting at Isabella I correct her. I shouldn’t have bothered she was only riling Kendall up. Me as well to be honest.

“Kendall, Isabella. Her name is Kendall.”

“Silly me. I’m forgetting things all the time these days. Being pregnant and giving birth takes it out of you. Know what I mean?” Turning on the saccharine sweetness and batting her eye lids at Kendall Isabella leans into me wrapping her arm around my waist.

Playing happy families. I see her game for what it is, but what can I do? I’ve done this. I made my bed, and now I have to lay in it. I fucked up then further fucked up monumentally when I cast my best friend aside like she was no better than yesterdays’ trash. Kendall didn’t miss a beat though.

“It must have been really hard on you Isabella. She’s gorgeous. You must be so proud.” Tucking the tiny bundle wrapped in pink cotton into her arms, Kendall runs a finger down Lexi’s cheek smiling at her. “Does she have a name yet? She’s so pretty. I bet she has a gorgeous name to match.”

This is when I wrecked my Kendall.

“Her name is Alexis.” I told her. When they say in movies that a person has crumbled in on themselves dying a little inside I thought that was all bullshit. Until I saw Kendall do it with my very own eyes.

Since we were eleven Kendall had told me that she wanted three kids. Two boys she would name Kane Declan, and Jerimiah Max after her dad and me, and my dad and Uncle Max. She wanted one perfect little girl named Alexis Rose. Rose after her mom Brenna Rose. To Kendall it was set in stone. There was no persuading her otherwise. I knew that. I’d heard her every time she said it, and even though I was just a kid too I knew that those kids would be mine and hers. As far as I was concerned she could name them whatever she wanted as long as she had them with me. Yeah. I told you I was an asshole.

If this is all I can have of my Kendall I’ll take it regardless the pain it causes her. I know it has to burn. Hurt her deeply that I stole her baby girls’ name. A baby that should have been hers dammit. Not missing a beat Kendall sighs heavily looking down on my daughter.

“It’s perfect. She’s perfect. It fits her beautifully.” Placing my daughter back in her bassinet she turns to us and gives me another gift. “If any of you need anything, and I do mean anything please let me know. I’d be happy to help any way I can.”

That’s my girl. Willing to help even in the face of being crushed. Not one to miss making shit worse Isabella delivers another blow just because she can.

“Oh thank you Kennedy. I’m sure we’ll be just fine though. This little family has to get themselves sorted without people meddling. If we need a babysitter for date night though, I’ll keep you in mind.”

I can’t say anything. I’m frozen on the spot. I’m fucking weak, and pathetic. Jesus. I even want to smack my-fucking-self. I just watch Kendall linger over my daughter, and nod weakly in response.

“Okay Isabella.” It’s almost too soft to hear. Merely a whisper, and with that she’s gone.

Fuck. My. Life.

To say my dad was unhappy with the turn of events would have been a massive fucking understatement. Don’t get me wrong he loves Lexi. He loves being a Grandpa, and he loves me. He does NOT love, like, or tolerate Isabella however. If he can avoid her he does. At all costs. From the second I told him I knocked Isabella up until this very day my old man gives me shit about it. He never does it around his granddaughter, but when we’re away from little ears he lets me fucking have it. After yelling at me for not wrapping my junk, and being a ‘Stupid fucking kid’, his words, mine, dad resigned himself to the fact a little person was going to be born in six and a half months, and he would just have to get the fuck over it. He never has got over his hatred of the manipulative DB though.

I ended up telling my dad everything. Starting with the hysterical crying fits Isabella had over me being friends with Kendall. The threats of abortion if I didn’t marry her. To the callous way she said she would take my little girl from me if I divorced her. Granted I didn’t fess up until about two years ago when dad cornered me after one of Isabella’s more colourful tantrums at a family hog roast.

Lexi was two and a half, full of sass, and hyper as fuck. She was a mini-person with attitude, and a big ass vocabulary. Shit. Half the time I was either in fits of laughter, or tryin to convince my kid not to say the shit that was coming out of her mouth. Everyone but Isabella thought Lexi was hilarious. They usually ignored, or tried not to react to Lexi’s funny as hell comments though. Isabella not so much. She would scream at me for turning my baby into a deadbeat like I apparently am.

It must have been getting on five-o’clock which is the witching hour for Lexi. She is either dog tired, or more hyperactive than usual at time of day. Today it’s the latter. Running around the picnic tables set up for the hog roast, Lexi’s babbling away, but halts quickly when Isabella grabs her upper arm tightly yanking her to a stop. My daughter yelps, and big fat tears fill her eyes. They wet her lashes, and make her eyes appear bigger than normal. I’m quick, but fuck me. I don’t know where Kendall comes from, or how close she has to have been to get there before me, but she does. Gently taking Lexi, and placing her on the ground she leans in and asks her,

“Princess Lexi I think granma B has some candy she wants to give a special princess. You want to go see?” Granma B is Lexi’s name for Kendall’s mom, and has been since she could talk.

Blinking up at her with wide eyes and a tiny smile, Lexi tugs on Kendall’s long curly hair. That’s her thing. When she wants Kendall’s undivided attention she tugs on her gorgeous long hair. She doesn’t need to. Lexi always has her attention, but she does it nevertheless.

“Yep Pincess Kenny. I go see.” My Angel can’t say her R’s yet, so Pincess will have to do. Skipping off Lexi goes to seek out her granma B. No doubt her candy too.

Waiting until Lexi’s out of ear shot, Kendall bends down towards Isabella where she’s sitting at the picnic table like nothing happened. Kendall hisses. When she speaks her voice is filled with venom. More than I’ve ever heard from her before.

“If you EVER touch that gorgeous little girl in anger again, I will fucking kill you.” Isabella jerks back glaring at her. Smart bitch keeps her mouth shut at least. “Think on that bitch. Because if I ever hear you’ve put your hands on that baby for any other reason than to give her the love she deserves, I WILL FUCKINGG END YOU. You don’t grow up with bikers not knowing where to bury a few bodies so they’re never found.”

Max, Dagger, Shifty, Vic, Arrow, and Tank clap and catcall. My dad winks at her blowing her a kiss, and Priest pulls her into a one armed hug. He can’t help himself he has to say something too.

“I second that. I’ll dig the hole for my baby too cunt.”

That was the day my heart swelled with love all over again for Kendall. It was also the day I confessed to my old man what the fuck was actually going on at home. Dad cornered me threatening to break my legs if I didn’t come clean immediately. He knows there’s a reason for me staying with someone like Isabella. I figured it was only a matter of time before he put two and two together. Look like today is that day. Must say I also like the use of my legs, so it’s time to be a man and fess up. Dad isn’t shocked by what I tell him. Angry yes, but not shocked. He even offers to help me find a way to leave her, and take Lexi with me.

We started by offering her money. Not a little bit either. A hundred grand to walk away and stay gone. Isabella considered it. No surprise, but she came to the conclusion it was more fun to fuck with me than take the money and run.

So here we are…

My cunt of a wife is laying naked in bed after getting what she wants, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. My Angel Lexi is still in bed sleeping because it’s barely six thirty in the morning. My brothers in the club believe I’m all sorts of fucking dumb for staying with DB. My dad’s searching for ways to help me out of my mess. The woman I love. The woman I crave. The only woman I need is three blocks away probably still dreaming all curled up in bed, and I’m locked in my fucking bathroom jerking my cock to thoughts of her when I’d rather be with her instead.

Her soft skin. Gorgeous green eyes. Magnificent fucking tits I’d love nothin more than to fuck, and the sweet smell that is all her. Kendall smells like chocolate, vanilla, and spicy woman. MY woman. It only takes me seconds with the image of Kendall on her knees before me with her pretty tits bared topped with tight bubble gum pink nipples, for me to blow my load all over the tiled shower wall.

I can only imagine what they look like because I haven’t seen them in person. Lucky come is white, and so are the tiles, or I swear there’d be a discoloured mark in that very spot.

Not a day goes by I don’t think about Kendall. Not only in the dirty I-wanna-fuck-your-face-while-you-play-with-your-tits-kind-of-way all the time either. I think about her smile. How her eyes light up when she gets excited. The way she jumps up and down when she’s got a secret to share, or something exciting’s happening. What makes things worse, and better at the same time is that I see her nearly every day. I get close enough to smell her sweet scent. The one I would know anywhere. I could always tell when she was sneaking up on me from the age of thirteen. She never knew how, but it was when I bought her the first bottle of perfume that she’s used ever since. The days I see her I have to hear her soft velvet voice when she talks to Lexi, her uncle Max, her mom, her dad, even me sometimes. The fucking voice that wraps around me like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. I fucking miss being able to hear it whenever I want. Best or worst of all, depending on how you look at it, I have to see her. Her perfect, tight, toned, little body. All that long silky hair. Her satin soft skin. Magnificent tits. Tiny waist that flares softly into beautifully curved hips. Being close to her is almost akin to torture some days.

Lexi loves HER Kendall. Lexi claims Kendall’s hers, and I let her believe it. After nursery everyday she demands we go see Princess Kenny’s pretties. Yeah my girl gets the R in there now too. What Lexi means is she wants to see whoever Kendall happens to be tattooing that day. It can be a fuck ugly skull with snakes for eyes, and blood and gore surroundin it, but my kid still thinks it’s ‘pretty’ because Kendall’s doing it. Some days I think Lexi loves Kendall more than she does me. It’s probably fucking true, and I can’t blame her either. Who wouldn’t love a sweet, caring, beautiful woman that loves you unconditionally, and always has a smile for you no matter what? Lexi needs that kind of person in her life desperately. The affection and attention that only a good woman can give her. Kendall laugh with her, all the time. Chimes in with the usual, ‘oh really’, or ‘tell me more Princess Lexi’. She high-fives her when Lexi gives her drawings, or creations that I can’t distinguish. To me they look like scribbles all over the joint, but to Kendall they’re all masterpieces.

I however get little more than a wave, maybe a smile, or the occasional sweet ‘hi Declan’. That’s different too. I’m not Dec to her anymore. I’m not Cage, my road name, either. I’m just Declan. It’s not any less sweet to hear her speak my full name, but once, just once I’d like to hear her call me Dec again. Fuck. I’ll even take Cage over Declan.

My brothers started calling me Cage after I came out of the fighting cage we’ve got setup at the clubhouse. It’s not a professional setup by any means. Just a raised padded floor with posts anchored into the ground, and elasticised high grade mesh walls. Works well enough for us though. After being undefeated for two-years the name stuck. I’d taken up exercise in the beginning to release my anger over Isabella. Get rid of my frustration over my shitty situation, and work off some of the desire for Kendall. I started off on the heavy bags working up to the speed bags when I was eighteen. It worked as an outlet for a while. That turned into sparring with Billy and Arrow. Getting pointers from Tank, our resident gym junkie, to make my workouts more effective.